We are loving the natural Alder look, but also read conflicting reports on the softness. I would love some feedback on this. Do they hold up well? Our cabinet maker said we could go with cherry for the same price, but it's much darker than the Alder.

You can read more about alder wood here: http://www.mrcabinetcare.com/alder-wood.html

The Janka Hardness scale is a measure of wood hardness. Here is a comparison for you:

White Pine 380 lb-ft
Alder 590 lb-ft
Cherry 950 lb-ft
White Oak 1350 lb-ft
Hard Maple 1450 lb-ft

As you can see, as compared to some common domestic woods, Alder is quite soft, not much better than white pine.