Part of the problem, Tara, is that you do live in an upscale area. We have the same effect around here (suburban Connecticut) and it doesn't matter if you want someone to help design landscaping, or fix your car; they are used to dealing with people for whom money is no object and act like if you are not that type of person then you are "beneath" them. I say, forget it! Take your money elsewhere.

So, in this type of area you must go on word of mouth. Ask everyone you know, your child's teachers, the librarian, your co-workers, if they know someone they would recommend. Most likely you will be looking for a small, less high-profile company or individual. Not someone who has splashy ads in the phone book or in local gardening magazines.

The other idea is to find a local, privately-owned nursery that you like and where you feel comfortable and ask them. They may have someone on staff or someone they recommend. Be very upfront and say you are looking at doing some modest improvements.

If the folks you are speaking to are talking down to you, absolutely don't do business with them. There are sure to be landscapers in the area that are pleasant to work with. And that's who you want to hire.

Ask at the New England Gardening forum of GardenWeb as well.

Good luck.

Sometimes it is not easy to find the right people, but they are out there. There is huge diversity in this industry not only in what types of work there is but also in the types of people working in it and the niches that they fill.

There is no standard behavior. Keep looking.

Is it really that all these different company representatives are jerks, or might you be taking an approach and/or coming away with an interpretation that somebody else might not?

If you have a list of projects drawn up that is specific and detailed enough to make it possible to work up estimates, then really all the meeting should involve is what you want done and how much they think they want to do it.

Where opinions that might be heard by you as talking down could come into it is if you are asking what to do about this problem and that one after the conversation gets going. I suppose some estimators might even read this as trying to get a free consultation out of what was described earlier as an estimate only.

If all it is is that your job is too small for the companies that have come out so far, then maybe the main thing that needs to be done is to make it clear on the phone beforehand what amount of work is being offered.

Anytime a contractor has enough work they will, in fact be turning projects down that they deem less attractive. Why work on a small job if your plate is already filled with large ones?

You can also make it clear that you'd be okay as a "filler job"--your job would take longer, but sometimes a contractor can't keep all his guys busy because of conflicts of schedule that gives them bits of time down that aren't big enough to do a whole job.

Just wondering if the desire to provide a stable and appealing setting for your home might be pushing you towards an overly sensitive and defensive posture.

I'm referring back to your May 2, 2009 thread "trying to improve disaster of yard, pictures attached". There, responders reacted to the steep, eroding back slope complete with large trees - roots exposed - teetering on the brink; discussed reworking the pathways comprised of a variety of stone types; and speculated on the strength of a retaining wall...

You came back with the lament "wow i am really sad that people think my house is so bad!" when your house, it's cost, style, neighborhood, etc. never came into play and certainly didn't need defending.

In defense of you, I wouldn't hire any outfit that treated me with disdain and am assertive enough to dismiss them as a bad fit before they had the chance to dismiss me. Set your search sights on a good outfit that works locally - and not on those catering only to the worthy elite. They're out there.

Is the problem the message, or the delivery? Reading what you posted here, and the other post duluth referred to, it sounds like there are certainly some... challenges to be faced with your property. When I walk the property with a client for the first time, I'm listening to what they say and also pointing out areas that are of concern to me; I would consider it unprofessional not to bring these up, so that we have the full scope of work to talk about. It never occurred to me to worry that someone could think I was being mean. Being in the business, I would tend to think the folks you've been talking to aren't trying to make you feel bad, they're making sure that you have an awareness of everything that needs to happen to make your property "right". They're not judging you, they're evaluating the needs of your property.

Except for the guy who made the "independently wealthy" comment. He's clearly a jackanape with the social skills of someone who was raised by wolves.

Keep digging, you'll find someone who'll treat you like a rockstar. Just don't be mad at them if they're pointing out problems that need fixed.

Thanks for everyone's input. Duluthinbloom, I think most of my previous posts were about my backyard which I am not even tackling with a landscaper. The front and side yards which I am actually getting quotes on have some issues but they are fixable issues. It involves re-grading one section of the yard and putting flowers beds and grass there and a pretty fence/gate will go there later. The other project is just redoing our walkway. I think in total these will come to probably at least 7k. I could be off, maybe the walkway will be more expensive then I think. This may not be a lot to some landscapers, but to me that is a lot of money for what will probably only be a couple days work for them. I really just don't want people to be rude if I am considering hiring them for this project.

I actually think my house could have some curb appeal in the front if we do the necessary work. If a landscaper with a good reputation comes out and is enthusiastic and positive about what can be done, that is who I am hiring... assuming the quotes are reasonable. I have had it with negativity (even my own.. haha :)

The back of the house is another story.. we have a giant hill and some erosion issues back there. major issues in the back. I am not sure anything is ever going to make that look good. Regardless, I was just getting quotes for the part of the yard that I feel we could greatly improve and would help in selling this house a few years down the road.

I actually don't think i am being overly sensitive about it, some of these people can be really harsh and critical. I have a segmented block wall out front that the prior owner put in. He replaced railroad ties, so it is a major improvement. It is not exactly what I would have wanted, but all in all it is not that bad. One landscaper, who I found out only works with natural stone, said it looks like the side of a highway. I thought that was obnoxious, I wasn't even hiring him to do anything with the wall. Also I have gotten compliments from people on the wall, so it's all in the eye of the beholder. This bothers me, he could have just offered suggestion to soften up the wall... i.e, hanging plants/groundcover over the wall and then some shrubs on the bottom. It turns out the guy hates segmented block walls.... ok, fine... but does he have to say it looks like the side of a highway when he knows that we have no intention of spending 30k or so to replace it? We were not even asking him about the wall.

I find it very odd how some of these guys are handling this, considering I know the problems that exist and I am trying to get help. I am very realistic and i have no problem with people being honest... it just seems like a lot of landscapers I have met are not tactful at all. I also think people that work in the industry may be overly critical about some things that "lay people" don't see as being as big an issue.

Anyway I appreciate everyone's input! Thanks!

Yes: If you have not indicated an interest in certain things being discussed - that are definitely outside of the scope of what you have asked about - then it is surprising that you are getting multiple unsolicited editorials. Not what I am used to in the marketplace here.

For what it's worth, a significant variable in the cost of a project is access to the work site. Those who landscape in front first often find a few years later they have the option of tearing out thousands of dollars of front landscaping to get materials or equipment to the back or paying thousands more to do the back based on limited access.