Just need your opinion

18 years ago

I havn't had to post in this section for years ! Im not going to mention any names, nor do I want to , so don't email me asking for any .

I just finished a seed trade, a large one. We emailed back and forth towards the end of January and finally settled on a trade on Feb. 1st. On Feb. 1st I have an email from this person telling me they were mailing my seeds that monday ( just a few days away ). Two days ago I emailed the person asking them if they had received my seeds, which I mailed within a few days of our last email and they said yes they had, sorry they had been busy and hadn't been able to get back to me. This was on the 12th. So today I get the packet, and it was postmarked the 12th. So what would you think ? I emailed them and asked them if they had waited to get my seeds before they mailed theirs. It was not a hateful email, not at all, I have a copy of it. From them, today, I get this long 4 paragraph dramatic emailing telling me off. Telling me that I had sent them a hateful email, that she had started a new job..and listing all these things like how she never was in a hurry to send seeds because she figures I can't use them now anyway ( I wanted these for winter sowing), and that if this was so important to me that I'd get so bent out of shape that maybe I needed to take a break from Trading.

Well oh....my....God...

Excuse me...but this is so wrong in so many ways. She mailed my seeds on the day I had emailed her asking if she received mine. She never bothered to email me to let me know they were running late, and she is rude, and jumps ALL OVER ME in this hateful email because SHE was in the wrong.

The thing of it is...she has great feedback.

I didn't even go into all the little nasty details of her email either.

So let me just ask you...would you not have wondered the same thing ? Should she not have just shot me an email to say 'hey these are running late ?" This was a big trade also, for many of my named daylily seeds.

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Comments (8)

booberry85
18 years ago
I think she probably forgot all about the trade until you emailed her on the 12th. I think that maybe she should have held back in trading for seeds until she was more settled in her job.

It sounds like from the last email she sent you, that she's taking out some of her frustrations with adjusting to her new job out on you. Try not to take it so personally (I know easy said than done.)

Now, go "play" with your seeds and get them winter sown!
Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana
18 years ago
I think that oftentimes folks are rather bold in their emails...saying things they normally would not (spout off and) say on a public forum. What these folks do not realize is that even though an email is sent privately, it sure can be shared easily enough...which I know you said you would not do.

Sheesh...if'n the same thing had happened to me, as did her, I'd be apologizing all over the place to you Smoky. Sorry she got testy with you....but glad she came though in sending them...finally. Maybe leave her feedback like slow in sending and keeping one informed about being late in mailing. I know I would sure be tempted to.

Sue
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agirlsgirl
18 years ago
I agree with Sue,I would have apologized to you,not flipped on you! IMO,The postmark says it all, the seeds were mailed the day of your email,which either could be that she did indeed forget or maybe she felt like she should send them asap because you inquired. I think sometimes people are afraid to admit that they made a mistake,maybe they find it to be a sign of weakness for whatever reason. Anyway,I agree that you do have a right to be upset about her lack of communication,if the truth be that she didn't think it was a big deal to put a rush on them,then she should have sent you an email, especially, after she received your end. And,should it be that she just plain old forgot,than your end arriving should have been a reminder. Either way,I agree an email would have been appropriate and takes very little time to send.
shimla
18 years ago
I would have responded on the 12th to let you know I got your package, explained my mess up and let you know that I was mailing that day. Pretty simple. She either simply misunderstood the meaning of your 2nd email or was being defensive because she knew she was in the wrong about not being upfront about the delay. It sounds like she's just a bit overwhelmed with life right now!
medontdo
18 years ago
yep forgot til she got yours in,then all of a sudden see's yours and is like CRAP!!! i need to send them off and is expecting you to be a pissy person!! and probably jumps the gun too on being gripy,then instead of apologizing went wacko, cuz of an overwhelming situation. i can say that cuz i know its not me!! LOL hmmmmm.... now i gotta go see if there are bats in ks. ps sorry people are so mean smoky!! and you do have a pretty garden!! LOL
squirrelspur
18 years ago
Yes I would have wondered the same thing and it has happened to me before also - someone sending after they recvd my seeds.

Sounds like this person is immature and self-centered and has difficulty handiing stress (like we all don't have stress in our lives!). Funny how they had time to send you a long email criticizing you but not a short one to let you know the truth.

You have every right to be upset. Just put that person on your no-more-trades list and when you have great stuff to offer, she won't get 'em.
turkeytaker
18 years ago
I've had people that wait to receive my seeds before sending theirs, and I've found it to be a bit insulting. If the person wants my envie first so they can send a comparable number of seeds or to see if they're going to receive their part of the trade, that's one (or two) thing, but I'd appreciate them telling me and not doing it on the DL.

As for the email...well, I think I'll go with everyone else on that. :)
remy_gw
18 years ago
Hi,
It all goes back to the Shakespeare line "The lady doth protest too much." When people are caught doing something dishonest, they often go overboard on claims that it isn't true, and/or attack the other person with inane accusations to take away their guilt.
Whether she felt guilty because she waited for the seeds or because she forgot the seeds and didn't email, you'll never know. But I wouldn't worry about it, you got your seeds, and you've no obligation to trade with them again.
Remy