That is the craziest! Lol I don't think anyone could top that story. Mine is about a meyers lemon tree I got back in may for mothers day. I'm in zone 7b and of course I grow it in a container only. My neighbor doesn't understand that it wouldn't survive outside in the winter, yet he continues to tell me that I should plant it in the ground. I find myself constantly explaining to him that lemon trees do not naturally grow here. I have a container garden as well and he tells me I should put them in the ground too. Lol

My mother did something similar to me. I had an orchid cactus. I never got to see it bloom, so I can't tell you what color it was. While we were away on vacation, I only had my mother to watch after our things. I didn't want her to be in charge of this but had no choice. I gave her specific instructions on several things, including plants. By the time we came back home, my cactus was completely dead with no chance of reviving. She had put it outside in direct sunlight. Her excuse, "It's a cactus. It has to be outside in the sun."
-__-

'Someone' had the gall to ask me for some of my compost. It's too "gross" and "ugly" to do it her yard...

A tenant and her mother came over to pay her rent. Her mom pointed out how pretty my plants were. The tenant told her "your not supposed to ask for cuttings, go ahead and take some"!!!
I could hardly speak, " I told tenant, your not suppose to THANK the person, NOT STEAL them!".
I could not believe her attitude about it! I'm sorry but no one should just take a persons plants!

I love to hear about off-the-wall gardening experiences that somehow work.

At our last plant swap, one of the guys offered an orange tree that he had started from a seed he'd extracted from an orange at a Chinese restaurant.

My aunt once said that she had tried composting but gave it up because:
'I threw out damaged beans & pieces of potatoes & old squash & banana peels, & it all grew.
except the banana peels.'

Nothing about gardening, but... It was mosquito season and this old lady drenched herself with raid.. Man oh man... The mesquito didnt bug her anymore.. I would rather have west nile..

Oh wow. Raid. No ma'am haha that reminds of a a stunt a classmate of mine did in the 9th grade. She was wanting to find a cheap way to whiten her teeth & began rinsing her mouth out with bleach. Actual laundry/cleaning bleach. She also tried to use the same kind of bleach to put highlights into her hair (this was a few years after the teeth whitening attempt). It melted her hair together.

I had/have a very bad squirrel problem. When I began gardening I negotiated with the squirrels and they agreed to only take their fair share of tomatoes, persimmons, peaches, pears and berries. The crows and chipmunks were a different matter and required separate negotiations. I thought we had a deal. But first the squirrels; then the crows; and finally the chipmunks started taking more than their fair share. I told my wife that I would show them who was boss. I bought a live trap and baited it with peanut butter. I caught a squirrel right away and took it 10 miles away and freed it. After that first catch, I discovered the peanut butter gone and no squirrel. Turns out the squirrels were sending in the chipmunks to test the trap and they were too small to trigger the door. After all of this I saw the crows were sitting in my persimmon tree laughing at me and pecking on persimmons. I shook my fist at them and yelled, "I'll show you who is the boss!" My wife walked back into the house muttering, "The squirrels are the boss, you idiot." Does that sound disloyal?

Charlie, that's hilarious! Sorry!

A number of years ago, there was a similar thread on another forum, can't remember which one, but there was a hilarious story on it:

The poster had gone into the garden to work at something or other & went into that mental 'garden zone', buzzing about happily, doing without thinking.

She picked up a clay pot to dump out last year's dirt, but she forgot she had it in her hand.

When she noticed it, she up-ended the pot & the dirt fell out...
& she screamed in horror.

There was a human thumb in the bottom of the pot!

Then she remembered:
she had hooked her thumb through the drainage hole to carry the pot.