ARE YOU A LEXOPHILE? ( aren't we all?) FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
   
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
   
3. Time flies like an arrow -- Fruit flies like a banana.
   
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
   
5. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
   
6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
   
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
   
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress!
   
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
   
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
    
11. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
    
12. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
    
13. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it .
    
14. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
    
15. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
    
16. Every calendar's days are numbered.
    
17. A lot of money is tain ted. 'Ta int yours and 'taint mine.
    
18. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
    
19. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
    
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
    
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
    
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
    
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
    
24. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
    
25. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
    
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
    
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
    
28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
    
29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.