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grandmathyme

How close are you?

16 years ago

I'm curious how many people here have spouses who are on the same page with regards to garden junk? How close are your thoughts and your spouse's thoughts about garden junk/art? Are you all alone in your addiction or do you have to race your spouse to the curb on garbage day?

My husband is supportive, but speculative. Sort of one of those guys who needs to see the finished project in place before he has an opinion. As a whole, he doesn't think we "need" any more garden art, but he isn't really against anything I want to put in the yard. He thought my mushrooms were kind of silly, but now that they're in the garden, he says they look great.

I toss an "I think I'll get a couple old toilets to plant in" out once in a while to shake him up knowing he'd likely DIE if I actually did it. That way, when I decorate yet another bowling ball, he doesn't complain. I think he's a closet "what will the neighbors think" kind of guy, but loves me enough not to say it!

This weekend he almost let THAT slip out. I wanted his help tilling up the compost pile and putting it onto the garden beds in the back yard while HE wanted to weed the FRONT yard. His comment was "nobody sees the BACK YARD, we need the FRONT done first!" I told him that when the neighbors paid for vegetables for us, their timing with regards to my yard prep in the spring would affect me. LOL!

What about yours? Are you partners in crime or opposites who attract?

Comments (26)

  • 16 years ago

    Grandmathyme,
    Mine is tolerant of me. He isn't for it but he isn't against it either. I contain most of my garden art to the back and side yards though. It WOULD be funny to see him racing to the curb to grab something before I did. Most of the time he doesn't notice unless I ask him "did you notice such and such when you walked up to the door." Heck I think I'm doing pretty good when he doesn't throw a recyclable into the regular trash. I think he's tired of seeing me dig it out. It's only taken 20 years!
    Love, Jules

  • 16 years ago

    I am extremely fortunate to have a partner in crime/junk who is as addicted as I am! He stalks the dump for me and has a really good eye for "transforming" things into garden junk. He's my welder, builder, and encourager! Of course, that works both ways...when there's a fence to be built...I'm out there with him, when the shed needs cleaned out, I'm there too, so that makes things much easier all the way around. We are fortunate also, because we live in an older neighborhood with no HOA, so we can do pretty much whatever we want to.

    My DH has been an honorary GJer from the beginning!

  • 16 years ago

    My DH was like Marlene's. And I was always the 'helper'
    like she is.
    Altho he would not always stop at a curb like I do,
    he was a great 'Helper'. And once something was done,
    he was proud of my accomplishments. Especially the small garden in Indiana, he would always invite people to
    "come look what my wife had done".....
    Things don't always do this, but this morning this topic
    has put me in a 'teary' mood--I miss him!

  • 16 years ago

    I'm sorry you lost your husband, nonacook and that my topic brought tears to your eyes. It must be bittersweet to walk through your garden and have all those reminders! Bitter because he's gone and sweet because of the things you did together! I hope the sun shines in your neighborhood today! I'll say a prayer for you!

  • 16 years ago

    Thanks for the sentiments. It has been 3 years in April and garden junk supported me all through his bout with cancer. I don't know what I would have done without them.
    Junkers always seem to know what to say!

  • 16 years ago

    We're pretty much on the same page. He knows if I put my mind to it, I can make something cool. He still feels the need to say "What in the heck do you want that for?" when it comes to junk . LOL He knows not to bug me too much because I can say the same thing about his stuff ;)

  • 16 years ago

    My DH has become an enabler just like the rest of you here. He just called me, not 5 minutes ago and told me to go down the street behind our house when I go to lunch and look at some iron railings someone had put out. Of course I said "why didn't you just get them", he said ok he'd go back and get them. He trust my taste and judgement even though he doesn't always see the vision at first and he always helps me with whatever I'm working on. He's a sweetie.
    Syble

  • 16 years ago

    we argued for a year when we got our property.He wanted prim and proper I didnt so he got the front I got the back with ponds and woods, and natives and flower and butterfly beds and of course junk/art.He has come almost to my way of thinking and is even attending garden tours and such with me! It is a hobby we both enjoy! He admires(or pretends to) some of my mosaic and such. I respect his desires though and surprise him with a few formal areas.

  • 16 years ago

    Mine is like so many others.. he doesn't "get" it until its done and in place.

    If I need his help on a project I have to be VEEEEERy specific and basically watch over his shoulder the whole time.... but he likes to help out and he's so proud of what we accomplish together that I have to "let" him help me every once in a while.

    I still get the look or the question whenever I want to keep something, or grab something from the curb.... oh well, someday he'll learn lol

  • 16 years ago

    DH helps me in any thing I want to try. He makes things for my shop. Couldn't do without him...

  • 16 years ago

    When we first were married, my wife wasn't into garage sales. Now, she's out of the car before I even put the car in PARK! LOL We are a true team, making soooo much together. When we go on family drives, we have to stop at every thrift store together. Carol often sees a Garden Junk idea, and we run with the idea together. Our latest has been silverware bell windchimes. I do the drilling and smashing of the silverware, and Carol does the wiring and beading as I hold it. I love my wife!

  • 16 years ago

    I have a dear friend who just last week told me that she "didn't get it"..till she got her new copy of Birds and Bloom this month.
    I've been talking about the gardenjunk forum for a few years.
    she knows my yard but really only pays attention to the plants.
    for most of it, it's all junk just sitting around but not put to the new life it has been intended to be.
    when she saw the 3 page spread, she called me and said..
    "Now I get what you've been saying all along"
    things turned around more, when it became so obvious for her.
    and what's even more funny...
    everything and I mean everything, with exception of trophies, I have in my possession.
    bed springs, bird houses, rusty tools, fruit colander, it's all out there...chairs for a bench...
    if you don't have a copy, you oughta check it out, at the store.
    she gave me her copy..

    some people and even family, just don't give up the 'plain ol' junk' mentality.
    oh well. I love it.

  • 16 years ago

    Been so busy around here and both of us have bad colds...and all of a sudden a few minutes ago, I noticed the DATE. ZOWIE! Both hubby and I FORGOT our wedding anniversary today!

    He got all flustered when I said "OM gosh! Happy Anniversary" and he was very apologetic. I told him that 41 years of having HIM was celebration enough! (Can I schmooze or what???)

    So, he went out and moved compost from the compost pile into our garden plots (until it started raining). How's THAT for an anniversary gift? I'm thinking MAYBE I'll show him this thread and how much FUN we could have together (like some of y'all) if he would really get into GARDEN JUNK with me and what a NICE ongoing celebration THAT would be!

  • 16 years ago

    My DW supports me in just about everything except toilets. I have a few boxes of glass stuff waiting to be transformed into flowers. The winds are so strong here that the only good place to put them will be on a garage wall facing the pool. She's up for the idea of painting a mural on the whole wall to look like an underwater scene with the plate flowers growing in it. All I need now is some spare time. That's the hardest part.

  • 16 years ago

    Dh doesn't believe in wasting materials, he saves everything and reuses much of in in home repair etc. He likes to go to junk stores and yard sales with me if we are traveling. He won't go out on purpose just for that unless there's some tool he wants advertised.
    We garden together and both of us love to visit gardens with art and junk in them. The junk and molded concrete in our garden is all me but he does make pathways out of scavanged rock and he set the granite for our patio. He really really loves the mosaic piece I made in the class I took, so I 'm thinking he may prefer mosaic garden junk which is next as soon as the weather cooperates.
    Interesting thread. I've enjoyed reading it.
    Kathy

  • 16 years ago

    >>but he does make pathways out of scavanged rock

    That brought up such a funny memory for me! I just loved our house when we lived in Kansas. Down the street from us, they were getting ready to build more homes, and when they cleared the brush away, they exposed this wonderful nice flat rock. It was easy to get stepping-stone size pieces and the developer was just hauling it away as junk. Our son was about 14 at the time and he and his friends were always looking for ways to earn money, so we told them we'd pay them 25 cents per rock (this was 25 years ago). Every day after school, they would grab the garden cart and head down the hill to get us rocks. We used it for edging planting areas, as a patio floor, as pathways...and were having SUCH a wonderful time coming up with all sorts of ideas to use it. UNTIL, in front of me, my son's friend mentioned that he'd lost his leather gloves and did my son have a pair he could borrow. Come to find out, there were all manner of SNAKES burrowed in among the rocks, some of them apparently poisonous. Being YOUNG entrepreneurs, they just assumed they'd be safe if they had leather-covered hands! WHOA! Did we put a stop to THAT quickly! We STILL ask our son "what were you thinking???" when we think about that! It's a wonder they live to grow up sometimes!

  • 16 years ago

    I just checked back into this forum for the first time in several months.

    My dh puts up with my Garden Junk. I don't know that he's always fond of it, but it gives him something to talk about when the guys talk about obsessions their wives have. LOL! We just built a new house in a nicer neighborhood. I'm having to limit my fun so as not to attract too much attention to myself from the HOA. I prefer to be known as 'eccentric' rather that weird lady who is always putting junk in her yard. On the bright side, we have a lot of really nice rocks from when the house and yard were dug out. Dh has helped me move them around so the landscaping will look nice.

  • 16 years ago

    I didn't know how to answer this question, as things have changed a little over the years. He used to be an 'eye roller', but he's come around some. I guess maybe we both finally realized- he's gotta do what he's gotta do and I gotta do what I gotta do. lol. After 30-some years, we are finally learning to play together.

    The answer came to me today when I was explaining to dear DH the plans I had for a remote corner of the yard. After my lengthy explanation of my grand plan, he says, " As long as I can mow around it." I guess that's what it comes to.

    He will help me do the harder stuff sometimes. Sometimes not. But that's ok I don't expect him to. I need the exercise and when he helps it usually gets to be a his way/ my way thing. I'm just out there having fun.

  • 16 years ago

    My husband didn't understand my junking...........I have since changed his way of thinking. I bought him a garage full of woodworking tools and now he is as eager to go to garage sales as I am. he comes up with some unique little items he finds to add to his bird houses he loves to make. It really surprised me when a few days ago he told me he is taking some of our junk doors attaching them togeter (3) and is installing swinging doors to create a little room to hide our outside pump. Awesome!

  • 16 years ago

    We're as far apart as the sun and pluto. My hubby threw out a working electric cat box because I switched to a regular one temporarily to disinfect and clean the electric one and got distracted for more less than a week! He recycles nothing and I recycle everything!Even he's recycled seeing as how he was previously married!

  • 16 years ago

    I am LOLing here. My DH is the pack rat collector of the two of us, but he does bring home neat stuff once in a while and I find uses for it. One of the rules is nothing comes into the house, so he has filled his side of the garage and a shed with his "treasures". I have 2 shelves on a wall of the garage. Beyond that... if I don't have an immediate need, it doesn;t come home with me.

    Okay, there is ALWAYS an exception to a rule, I bought a "kneeler" out of a church many years ago that was beautifully carved, and estimated at 100+ years old. I never did figure out what to do with it, and sold it several years later at my yard sale for $5 (I had paid $3 to the salvage company).

    Alexa

  • 16 years ago

    He kind of rolls his eyes and lets me do what I want to. No toilets tho!!
    We go to ES and GS together I seem to always find something but he doesn't. He's not a gardener but will help me build or make new flower beds or what ever.
    To be fair he is on oxygen and can't do a lot anymore.
    He used to do a lot of remodeling the house ect. He's a keeper after 37yr.
    He does make plate glass flowers and sells them.
    Enjoyed reading everyone's posts!! Thanks

  • 16 years ago

    Tolerant. Willing to do any heavy lifting or digging. Proud of how our place looks.

    The one thing we are so united on is that we think it is a parents duty and obligation to not just embarass but mortify the children, so he gets tickled when the kids were horrified to see mom (the ogre mom!)pull over to the curb and rumage through someone's garbage.

    Ogre Mom

  • 16 years ago

    You go, Ogre mom! I can remember back in the day when I was completely mortified by my mother's dumpster diving. And now, DH and I just got back from a nearly midnight raid of our little country town--tomorrow is junk day. It is sooo much fun!

    In answer to your question, DH is coming around and he's a welder, so he's made some really cool things out of old iron scrap.

  • 16 years ago

    My Bob is a fellow junker. He often drags things home to ask me if I can use them. He has found me a bed frame to make a bench out of, an old mirror from a dresser that would look great in the garden, floor lamps that once converted make great bowling ball stands, dishes and pottery for mosaics, old chairs that would make great planters ... well you get the idea. He has no qualms about dumpster diving and curb shopping. He loves rummage sales and thrift stores. He is very handy too. The only drawback? He isn't artistically inclined. So I guess that part is left up to me. He does think some of my ideas are nuts but then when he sees the final project, thinks they are great. One other mark against him ... he thinks flowers are stupid and would only want a vegetable garden. My defense? Flowers attract birds and bugs that help pollinate the vegetables and eat the bad bugs in the garden. he-he

  • 16 years ago

    We are so opposite.He was a military man so he thinks everything should be lined up like little soldiers,or in his case,little marines.I on the other hand garden with wild abandonment.I like junk in the garden,and things mixed up.He also likes to pull stuff out as soon as the blooms are done,i tell him he wastes soooooo much money doing this,let them go to seed.

    This year looks like some of what i've said over the years is sinking in,as he actually fixed a rusted crane and put it back in the garden~~~~~~~~~~~~~~baby steps????
    Kathi

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