Today

16 years ago

7:30 AM--Walked up the tractor-scraped, icy lane to the kids' house next door and left them with good muffins from Martin's. Their house smelled good with cooking breakfast smells-the Dad usually does that on Sunday, while the wimmin-folk are running around getting ready for church.

I stayed outside just in case I might still be contagious.

Today is Valentine's Day. I wanted to share this morning of sunshine, I wanted to see DSIL's face---the lines of grief are still there, but his eyes look brighter.

He lost his Mother a couple of weeks ago.

I thanked him for scraping the lane again....

It is beautiful out. Everything is bright from sun.

I fixed a special breakfast for the cats with tuna and Fancy Feast---THAT is a really special treat---Fancy Feast!

I told them I love them. ---and I do.

Poor Roxie the Rottweiler had peed on the carpet earlier in the morning before my back would let me get down the stairs to her to take her out.

I told her it was OK and I loved her. She said she couldn't help it. I told her after the coughing fits I've had this past week, I understood completely.

We hugged. She loves me and I love her---so much!

One of the two strays I've been feeding was waiting at daybreak for his nice warm cat food---if I'm not fast enough for his liking, he now comes around to the deck though all the snow, to give me a reminder. I had it for him in five minutes and he was already waiting out front at his little feeding nook.

The crows were down near the Hemlock fighting over scraps. The squirrels and smaller birds were eating on the deck railings.

There is a sense among us all that this is almost over.

We just have to suffer a little longer.

I dreamed of my sweetheart, my Jerry, the other night.

He was young again, leaning up against an old car. He and cars were one and the same.

He was a great diagnostician, but a hit-or-miss mechanic.

He sold beautiful old Mercedes-Benz on his small car lot.

He was so glad to see me---I couldn't take my eyes from his face. He was just radiant and so happy!

It was warm and the metal of the car felt good.

We kept smiling at each other, grinning over old secrets and old times.

He died in '95, but, he comes to my family (who all adored him, in spite of his blatant flaws) in our dreams.

One night he visited one of my daughters and told her he wanted to marry me.

We almost married four different times over the years;

the timing was never right..

Anyhow, my daughter told him I couldn't yet,

because I still had work to do here on earth.

Now, when I tell her I've dreamed of him,

it frightens her ---that it's a message I'm getting ready to kick!

I always laugh it off and calm her down--

"It's just a dream!", I say.

But the girls and I take our dreams seriously and pay attention to the messages we carry away from them.

We only have today. This breath.

And to be happy with what one has and has had, is good.

Happy Valentines Day, my friends.

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Comments (7)

lilod
16 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
KJ - you painted such a beautiful picture @7:30 your time, and I am reading it on a foggy morning @7:30 my time...
Companion animals, family and environment are the keys to what the day will bring.
Warm breakfast for cats and dogs, not icy here, but they still appreciate it. Taschi was anxious to be let out, she's on diuretics, brave, ornery, independent little beast she is.
Banked the fire, but it had gone out, the first time since late October that I had to start from scratch, but it lit right away.
It may rain today, but I'm not complaining, water is life and rain and balmy sure beats frost, ice and snow, I am fortunate.
Happy Valentines Day, Happy Chinese New Year of the golden Tiger and happy New Moon
anneliese_32
16 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
KJ, Lilo said it so much better than I can. All the birds and critters were fed earlier, except Stumpy, my handicaped squirrel. She prefers to come around when all the others had their food and are gone, at least the squirrels, jays and starlings who are all chasing her and try to take her food away. She had not been here for two days and made up for it now. She went through lots of walnuts and sunflower seeds and then went back to her nest with the largest, 3 kernel peanut I could find. I have to stand guard while she eats.

Happy Valentines Day, Year of the Tiger and Presidents Day.
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mawheel
16 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
KJ, thank you for sharing; your words have warmed my heart.

Happy Valentine's Day to one and all.
posieh
16 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Valentine's Day was a topping for my Birtday Cake from Feb.1. Such excitement was in the air as we all trouped off to country school with our precious red cargo in hand. Breathing with anticipation and excitement, we took our places in those wiggly old wooden desks. Now it was a waiting game until teacher said "yes, you may deliver your Valentines now." Atop each desk could be seen Valentine boxes, created from a discarded cereal box or a trophy shoe box. Laces and ribbons and paper hearts adorned them and each had a large slit in the top, just in case a super large card should appear. Mom and Dad had proclaimed we needed to be nice and considerate and give each classmate a Valentine, even though we didn't especially like them. Done! As we rested fom our disturbtion errands we received cupcakes( made by Mothers) and hot cocoa, a very special treat. No matter that the hot cocoa tasted a tiny bit scorched for Miss Lee had attempted to process it atop a kerosense burner which was nearly impossible to control and almost always burned things! It was a super, duper Party and then us kids all trudged home through rough, icy snowbanks nearly as tall as we. Dad had made a narrow path for us to follow. We also carried a treasure of a card made for "Mother and Father" (wonder if Mom and Dad knew them?) and signed in our perfect Palmer Method handwriting. At the dining room table we compared and shared our treasures with one another. What a day for a ten year old to put in her "Memory Box".
west_gardener
16 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Happy Valentine's day every one. There seems to be a whole lot of love going on at the GP today.
ejmoore510
16 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I really enjoyed reading this post KJ! You have a wonderful way with words.
posieh
16 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Here is my garden

Here is a link that might be useful: Donna's Garden