Kotie inspired these:

Inches from my nose,
I'd prefer your pretty face
to what you offer!

Your head in your dish
so your food lands on the floor.
Rethink this approach!

Kitties who bite toes
in the still of the night... learn
that toes can fight back

These dog haikus were forwarded to me:

Round, green and fuzzy
What? You say it is no good?
I will make it mine.

A stick! A stick! A
stick! A stick! A stick! A stick!
A stick! A stick! Thanks!

You did not walk me
this morning. Shame. I befouled
your fancy carpet.

"J'embrasse le chien
sur les levres," is what you say.
But I don't know French.

What mud? It was just
a small puddle. It came to
my belly. What mud?

Cat turds, freshly laid,
are delightful to eat. But
the old ones crunch more.

A dead thing to roll
in. Ah ecstasy! You don't
like the smell of it?

It is all in good fun.
I hump your leg because it
is there. Do you mind?

My nose. It is a
delicate instrument. May I
shove it in your crotch?

I have an itch. I
will scratch mercilessly. I
will share it with you.

These panties of yours
were so delicious like an
eclaire! What? You're mad?!

Were those expensive
leather shoes I did not know.
They were toys to me.

Rumble from below.
I ate something dead. You gag
and run away, What?

I dig, dig, dig, dig.
I want to go to China.
Airfare is not cheap.

A bone! A bone! I
must find a place to bury
it. Your bed will do.

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy - come to kill us
all - Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Anoint each bush. Hello, Spot -
You sniff this and weep.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.

Today I sniffed many
Doggie derrieres - and I celebrate
By kissing your face.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I
Have made a puddle.

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot -no greater bliss -
Well, maybe catching rats. . .

Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

My owners' mood is
Romantic - I lie near their
Feet, expelling gas.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you half as much