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Journal 20 September 2007

19 years ago

Have you ever tried too hard to get done? Basically, I'm using a flame thrower for all I do. Overwhelmed with work, school, buying a new house, remodeling every room in the new house, I keep giving everything 200%. Paranoia sets in and I think, "If I slack off on anything the domino effect will happen, and my whole life will go to heck in a handbasket!". Now don't get me wrong, I'm pleased as punch I can go and go because I have so much life experience and organizational skills with which to accomplish what I want. But it aint necessary. Last night's homework is a good example.

I have a legal writing class which I should've taken as a sophomore or so, but skipped over; it just couldn't be worked into the schedule. Looking back, it would've helped me in my constitutional issues class, writing memos at work, etc. The instructor gives us very little instruction because it's a sort of trial by fire, much like law school. He assigns work, grades it, gives it back, and tells you how to improve; the improved grade stands. Not a bad idea because some things just stick better or cannot be learned in any other way. At any rate, he gave us a "memo" and asked us to find out if his client could take the actions he wanted. It was our job to research TCA (Tennessee Code Annotated) to find the statute which fit his claims. I did that all right. So did everyone else. But everyone else stopped there. Dummy me found cases which tested the codes and set the standards. I could've been finished in an hour had I stopped to listen! but NNNnnoooOOO, I spent days on it. I am going 10,000,000mph when 70mph would suffice. I am so exhausted that I drop dead every night. I've gone from never sleeping to eight hours not being enough. What's ironic? I kept thinking how bored I was about two months ago. Now, I keep thinking progress movement accomplishment that's more like it! Guess I'll take exhausted happiness over bored un-fulfillment any day.

Angela left a key for us to do the walk through of our house yesterday evening. Yea!!! All hurdles are leaped over with only the closing left. Yea!!! (((singing))) New house new house new house!!! My plants will finally have a permanent home (after three years), mmmm. We'll get to paint any way we darn well please, dig holes, fill holes, make improvements, have peace and quiet, design new things no one has ever see or owned before. I envision it, Ed makes it reality. Period. We constructed a copper arbor that made you stop in your tracks. It was covered with curves and patina. We took a falling down barn and turned into the cutest lil' ol' cottage (for tools) with windows and window boxes, dripping with ivy (contained in the boxes). The next will be the most spectacular kitchen bar. It has never existed any place ever before. I looked and looked for "art piece" bars on line, asked around and nothing even came close to my mind. It doesn't exist. There are blue million squared and curved bars, but mine is free form. And it's covered in copper (since people will only eat on it). I just can't wait to do it. It's the best part of the house. (((singing again))) New house new house new house!!! Chomping at the bit to say the least.

One of the garages Ed manages is attached to the courthouse where our mayor will make his inaugural speech. Ed's been eating up his "authority", saying "Angela, I can't do the walk-through on the house at 2:30 on Friday because I have to meet with the mayor". Said in a slightly elitist tone, jokingly. Not really, that's when the speech happens. Ed will have to make sure everyone is where they need to be and no one is in the garage that shouldn't be. Just his part. Silly guy, but it's fun for him to say.

Edward is doing so well in school. Where I used to worry moment-by-moment, I now never worry about him. He's really settled in and has friends, girlfriends, and routines. He's such a stickler for routines. He's never learned what his father and I both had to learn at his age, go with the flow and make the best of where you are. Think I'll go find my grounded roots and follow that advice.

Comments (7)

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    It was our job to research TCA (Tennessee Code Annotated) to find the statute which fit his claims. I did that all right. So did everyone else. But everyone else stopped there. Dummy me found cases which tested the codes and set the standards.

    I grinned when I read that, because that is the hallmark of the adult student. You are past the point of seeing issues in black and white and notice the subtleties of everything in between. We used to call that over-thinking test questions. The nth time I went back to school, I'd look at a multiple choice question and not find the real correct answer and have to write in "none of the above" then be obliged to explain why that was the case. Always, I still got marked a correct answer but it was more than the instructor asked for. You weren't trying to show off, you really didn't consider any of them really valid and got tired of second-guessing what the instructor wanted. I'm sure that's as exhausting for the instructor to grade, as the student to execute.

    Your life certainly doesn't appear to lack excitement, but take care of your self. Short spurts of adrenaline can be real uppers, but long stretches of it drain your reserves. You sound happy.

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Yes, you sound exuberant. That's good, but don't forget to take care of your bod since it's doing a lot of the bouncing. At least take your vitamins, whether or not you think you need them.

    A copper-topped counter? I guess I'm not with it; I don't mind the thought of eating on art -Fabergmeant for the art to be used- but I don't have any enthusiasm for patina'd copper indoors and I've never met a finish that protected copper during actual use. hmmm, now that I think about it, there IS some stuff made... dunno if it can be used on copper, though.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Eviro Tex

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    You do sound happy...it's great to read of your pleasure with your studies and your new house.

    Local bar/deli has a copper covered bar which is nice...but they keep it cleaned with lemon juice/salt so it has no real patina...just a warm rosy glow. Invariably someone will reminisce about polishing Revereware pots/pans hanging on kitchen pegboard back in the day (me too). We finally got smart and declared they cooked better unpolished and stored in cabinets! LOL josh

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Thanks! I really did slow down yesterday just for bod and stress reasons. I feel so much better.

    Yes, overthinking it. And everything else. I'm trying to live in the moment, but that's harder for me than other people. Mom came over last night to get to see the new house and was greeted to piles of boxes and bags. We're about 85% done. She asked me if we were going to move anything tonight and my reply was (because I knew we'd be done and get to cruise) "Just the 'For Sale' sign out of the yard and pop open a bottle of champagne". My point being, adrenaline is good for me because I get it done and then relax. I do finally relax at some point. That wouldn't have been true 10 years. Guess there are some advantages to being an adult.

    Patina is meant for a garden. Shiny copper is for the inside of a house. ;)

    Me too Josh! My husband is dying to have a pot rack and I cringe at the thought of, "oh, they'll have to stay spotless". You can tell who does the cooking in my house.

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    LOL here. A pot rack would look so neat in my old kitchen, and I am a cook in every sense of the word and would find one handy. But.............OMG..........my pots! They have "character"? My mother used to refer to it as being seasoned. Not something pretty to look at. No way would I buy another set to just sit there and look pretty, either. I have a few cooking pans still from when I got married and a sweet little old lady in the apartment building next to us gave me an whole dowry of baking tins and kitchen articles. Wow, was it appreciated. Strictly depression era and earlier. Tansy Heimburger and she was ancient then. I think she's up there sitting on a cloud smiling, knowing her muffin tins and Aunt Sammy's Radio Revised cooking book are still in use.

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I love the look of a pot-rack.

    I will never own another one, LOL. It's not the look, which I love, but just the fact that the pots get dirty!! I use the big skillet every two weeks. It must be washed before every use. Dust, dead moths, they all take up residence in the hanging pots.

    As cool and uber-chef-like a pot rack looks, just don't go there unless you're willing to wash every pot before use. If you do go for the pot-rack, only hang the pots and pans you will use within a week.

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Moving isn't in the top ten list of life's biggest stressors for nuttin!
    Sometimes, just acknowledging that I'm in overload and stressed out gives me just enough umph to get through it. And when I have a gazillion tasks and things swimming in my head due to such stressors in life, reminding myself that it all going smoothly is an absolute insane thought, helps me get through it too.
    It's like a roller coaster ride isn't it? Fast, slow, scary and exciting all at once.
    The cars will eventually stop on those tracks.

    Allow yourself a lot of plan B's, so to speak. When packing, for instance, sure you had a box set aside for extra sheets and blankets and now you have wasted ten minutes searching for that box. Throw them in a hefty bag and deal with them after you move. And remember, bring down your (prior to moving in) remodeling goals down a notch or two. You can always continue and complete them after you move in.

    I know, it's easy for me to say. Just in my work I see the panic in their eyes when I ask: "And do you want us to paint that walk in closet too?" You should see some of the faces of panic we see!
    I've never met a person yet to doesn't get freaked out over picking up EVERYTHING they own, sorting it, packing it and moving it.

    I'm so excited for you! Keep on updating us. The fast, slow, scary and exciting parts of your ride. Pics, pics, more pics please!
    ~di

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