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sherry_roma

Pepper's Final Resting Place

16 years ago

Our sweet Pepper, the black Standard Poodle, had some sort of stroke on Monday and became paralyzed in all four legs. A short while ago we were with him when the vet put him to sleep. We brought him home, and I have a place on the edge of the patio where I just planted 'Rita Sammons' and a few new things, so I can easily take them out to prepare his grave. DH is concerned about critters getting to him and thinks we should leave him in the heavy plastic bag, but I'm afraid he'll never become a part of the earth that way (not for any spiritual reasons - just to complete the decomposition process). Some of you have buried your pets in the garden. How did you do it? Thank you so much for your help. I'm sorry to post such a morbid question. I will miss him so much, and though I never like to visit human graves, I think I will find much comfort having him there with me in the garden.

Sherry

Comments (26)

  • 16 years ago

    I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our English Setter last summer and buried her on top of the hill in our field next to our cat Cloudy who died earlier last year. Our vet put her in a cardboard box, not a plastic bag. We just put her in a very deep hole so that the animals wouldn't disturb it. Now the grass has grown over both graves and you would not know they were there.

  • 16 years ago

    Sherry, we bury all of our kids here, but we have them cremated first.

    Then, we pour their cremains into the rose hole, and put a good, healthy own-root plant on top of them.
    We feel, then, that they return to the earth, but also nourish a living thing. And we generally call that rose Flash, or Pixie, or . . .

    Webster is under a good, big "Old Town Novato." In life, he was an incredibly flashy Best-In-Show Afghan Hound, and OTN seems to suit him well.
    Daemon is still waiting for the right rose.
    So is Jacob, who I think needs something very very prickly.

    Jeri

  • 16 years ago

    I am so sorry for your loss. I did not bury my late dog because I am Hindu so I had her cremated. I cannot answer your question but just wanted to send you ((hugs)).

  • 16 years ago

    so sorry, sherry. so sad for you. I just buried my little cat last month and have planted a plum tree on top of him. You must have at least 60cm of soil on top of the box - we used a cardboard shoe box and a woolly jumper - so you may need to dig at least 3-4 feet down. Planting our animals means that they go back to their mother, the earth, and if you grow something above, it is a renewal of sorts (and also makes it less likely that the grave will be disturbed). Plant a very special and lovely rose and Pepper will live on for always in your heart and memory and garden.

  • 16 years ago

    Horsie is buried in my yard...he died at home so there wasn't a bag, or a box...I planted a rose (and many other plants) a friend buried him and I couldn't bear to be there..so I don't know how deep he is.
    I am so sorry Sherry..it gives me some comfort to have him there..so I think it will help you too.

  • 16 years ago

    I am so sorry for your loss. I have 3 cats cremated remains in urns because I would hate to leave them if I moved. But I think the cardboard box is a great idea. Just make sure you dig deep enough. That should deter critters.

  • 16 years ago

    I'm so very sorry, Sherry. I have had some losses lately as well, lost my 15 year old lab a few weeks ago, then our terrier mix to a heart tumor last week. Both my lab and terrier mix and my other beloved pets are buried in the perimeter of my yard and they each have a rose on top. I bury them wrapped in a sheet so that it biodegrades. My beloved old Pointer has Conrad Ferdinand Meyer on him, I put Honorine de Brabrant on my sweet love of a lab, I think I'll put Sally Holmes on my terrier or maybe Belinda, Bon Silene is on my darling old Cocker mix, Bermuda Kathleen is on our old one-eyed sweet tabby princess, and I put Sarah Van Fleet on my precious Catahoula. I bury them with armloads of flowers on top of their shroud and then put a living rose on top, and I find it helps me with my grief. Again, I'm very very sorry for your loss,

    Michele

  • 16 years ago

    Oh, Michele, how awful to lose two so close together. Thank you for saying how and what you planted with who. It helped because I have been all in a turmoil since I finished burying him. I was wishing I hadn't put him in the ground. He should be on the sofa like always. Grief is a wacky thing. I think I'm going to be on a horrible roller coaster for a while. DH asked if there were any roses named Pepper but there aren't, so I was anxious about the rose that's planted on him not being the right one. I think I'm going to find fault with everything I do right now because he should be here and he's not.

    Thank you all for your help and caring words. It helps to read them.

    Sherry

  • 16 years ago

    Sherry, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry. I hope you find the right rose to honor pepper. In time the beauty of that rose will make you smile with memories of Pepper.

    Sandy

  • 16 years ago

    We have lost many pets over the years. The most recent was our dog Chase in January. We always bury our pets 3' down and wrapped in their favorite blanket, with their favorite toy. So sorry for your loss.

  • 16 years ago

    Sherry, I couldn't help but tear up reading what you wrote about finding fault with everything you do because Pepper should be there and he is not. Give yourself time, dear. You'll decide on the right rose to plant when you're ready. Hugs to you,
    Anne

  • 16 years ago

    Sherry, I'm so sorry. It is awful to lose a beloved pet.
    We "planted" our precious kitty Baby and then put a peach tree on top of him. We put Baby on his favorite blanket and dug a deep hole. I don't know about a plastic bag but if the hole is deep enough nothing will disturb Pepper's resting place.
    Hugs to you....it sure does hurt just thinking of our pets that have passed away.

    Deb

  • 16 years ago

    They love us unconditionally. That is their gift. And that is so hard to lose. My heart goes out to you, Sherry.

    Veronica

  • 16 years ago

    Sherry - so sorry to hear of the loss of Pepper.

    We lost our sheltie a few years back. At the time, I could not stand to help DH dig a place in the back (deeply so nothing would disturb him). It is now a grassy area and I pass by there whenever I walk to the creek. It seems peaceful to me now and I hope you will soon find that peace in your heart, too.

  • 16 years ago

    Sherry, Sorry to hear about your dog.

    I buried a pet cat in our backyard years ago. Nothing bothered him there. I probably put him about 4 feet deep.

    I've never had to put a pet down. That would be really hard to do. I hope you're feeling better soon.

  • 16 years ago

    Sherry, My heart goes out to you over your loss. Losing a pet leaves such a great hole in our lives and hearts. I am sure his final resting place in your beautiful garden close to you is simply perfect. Grief is a shape edged sword but time will blunt it's blade and the day will come when you will be able to look back on your memories of Pepper and smile.

    Take care, my rosie friend,
    Susan

  • 16 years ago

    Well, you have lots of advice here but here is my 2 cents---The plastic bag is to protect your car from what happens when sphincter muscles relax after death. You want to use something like that for transport back from the vet, but you don't need to for burial.

    We have lived here more than 25 yr & have a number of kitties around our yard. We let them rest in or near spots they had liked to nap in. We use cardboard boxes, such as those boots come in (big & square) or the ones Amazon sends, because they will break down, and wrap our little friend in a scarf or something s/he liked to nap on---which means most of our clothes are candidates becaue they sleep in the laundry basket! My daughter's kitty is wrapped in a scarf I crocheted for that daughter -- who is now 30; she got that kitten when she was 4.

    We go about 2 feet down -- have never had trouble with animals disturbing things. In autumn I plant bulbs over the grave---I like Heart's Delight tulips for this purpose. Only we know that that variety in our yard marks kitty graves! Sometimes we arrange a couple of small rocks around the spot.

    I am so sorry for your grief over Pepper! You do realize that the best cure is another dog to help fill the empty place. Pepper knew that his people needed a dog--that is what he was doing! Time will make your sadness turn into happier memories.....

  • 16 years ago

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, it is always so hearth breaking.

    We buried our old faithful schnauzer in the garden years ago, I think it was 3-4 feet deep, but she was a giant schnauzer, so it was somewhat appropriate. We did not use any box or bag, and I think she would have preferred it this way anyways, since she loved to lay in the shade of the trees on a bare ground, where now she rests. :)

  • 16 years ago

    Sherry------I understand your pain----over the years we have lost many precious pets----all buried on our property--

    When we lost our last Golden Retriever I thought I would never recover-----I still miss her terribly and due to our age and health problems we don't feel it is fair to get another pet.
    We are both animal lovers---

    Our last "Golden" was buried in a favorite blanket and a favorite cuddly toy-

    DH mixed up some concrete and made a nice marker with her name and DOB and DOD----
    I think all rose-lovers understand how you feel-----I know I do----

    Fondly, Florence

  • 16 years ago

    I'm sorry Sherry. It was so sudden too. Our Ivy went like that. I came up from the bottom of the garden and found her gone. She's buried at the base of a redwood tree and our kitty Tuffy in the rose garden.

  • 16 years ago

    Our cat "Reggie" died at 21 years old. We dug a hole 3 feet deep and lined the hole with soft rose petals. We dropped a coin in with him that had the current year-to show that it was a burial-not a random death. we covered him with more rose petals, and over his grave we planted the rose "Perdita" -Latin for "Lost one"

    Sorry about Pepper-My girl "Lena" is half black Standard poodle and she is a very bright sensitive dog. I'm sure Pepper was as well.

  • 16 years ago

    Standard poodles are really wonderful dogs. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet you've spent every day with for years is really heartbreaking.

    A cloth would be best.

    And of course roses.

  • 16 years ago

    Sherry, very sorry to hear of your loss. As it happens, our cat is named Pepper, and I would so hate for anything to happen to her.

    While there aren't any roses named pepper that I know of, there are some roses that have a bit of a pepper scent to the fragrance, for instance Maggie's fragrance always makes me think of pepper. Reine des Violettes does that too, but it probably wouldn't grow as well for you as Maggie.

    But, if that idea doesn't work, are there roses that make you think of your Pepper? Sometimes characteristics of a rose will have associations that make you think of someone or something else, and perhaps one of those associations will come to mind for you, and you'll come up with the perfect rose to honor Pepper. I agree with you about not wrapping him in plastic.

  • 16 years ago

    I just want to thank everyone who posted - so many of you - with wonderful, kind words. You can't imagine how much a good cry helped (every time I read and re-read it) - or maybe you can since you've been there, too. Friday was the most horrible day, and Saturday was pretty bad, too. Saturday I received a link to the most remarkable piece of writing from dear Jeri. It was like a dose of anesthetic for the unrelenting agony and enabled me to transition toward thinking of him at rest.

    Sunday night and this morning I got a little teary, so I brought "the will" (see the link below) with me to work because I wanted another dose of the painkiller. Turns out I didn't need it. The photo of Pepper I had put on my desktop at work on Friday (which I couldn't bare to look at then) was a happy comfort today. As I was shutting down to come home, happy thought ("Sweet boy") was followed by profoundly sad thought ("but he's not here"). When I called DH on my way home & asked him what he was doing, "looking for old pictures of Pepper on the computer". Since DH is retired, Pepper was with him all day. There is such a huge hole in our little family. He was a gentle, unassuming fellow who was so willing to patiently wait in line for his kisses when I got home - AFTER his demanding sister, the Brittany - never pushy until he made physical contact. For some reason he loved to stick his head between my thighs and get his hug that way while I rubbed his back. It worked for him! and gave me such a laugh every time. He made each of us feel like he was a daddy's boy AND a mama's boy. What a blessing to have thought to go to the animal shelter that Saturday in 1998 to "see is they have any standard poodles." They did - 3!! He was the only one healthy enough to be adopted at 35 lbs (compared to his normal 58 lbs).

    So we're enjoying our memories now with occasional tears, thankful for the photos and each other's willingness to share moments from the past and talk about him at length. No stuffing of emotions here, thankfully!

    Here's his glamour shot after a trip to the groomer - which he sorely hated.
    {{gwi:252737}}

    Thank you again. You are a very precious group, and DH thinks so, too. He said it was tough getting through this thread. Nice people, he said.

    Sherry

    Here is a link that might be useful: Leaving from the pet's perspective

  • 16 years ago

    Sherry, Pepper was a beautiful dog...I mean that sincerely. My neighbor has standard poodles and they are very pretty dogs but something about that picture of Pepper. Something in his face just reaches out and pops me upside the head. I love that picture! I have found out just from my neighbors poodles escaping over to my house to "visit" that they are extremely social dogs! Not to mention being so smart!
    I totally understand that head between the thighs kind of hug...my dog always did that too. It always made me laugh too.
    I love Peppers coat, so soft looking. I want to run my hands through it.
    I know your heart is aching. Love and hugs,

    Deb

  • 16 years ago

    Sherry, I have been following this thread and am late in responding. There is nothing I could say that so many others haven't said already or better but I did want you to know that I am sorry for your loss. I have two "little girls"...two little FOUR legged girls (Jack Russell terriors) and they aren't getting any younger. I know I will be heartbroken when they pass so I am truly empathetic as to what you are going through.

    I have teared up many times reading some of the nice sentiments that people have written; I'm glad to see that it helps you a bit. The passage of time, albeit painful, will take care of the rest.

    Lynn