Laura -- You need new friends! ;-)
EYE would have gone to the garden (drink in hand, of course) and I bet everyone else here would, too.

Jeri

Jeri is correct in every regard. I personally would never miss the chance to prowl through a friend's garden or even a stranger's for that matter if invited or if it appeared no one was around, LOL. No enticement needed other than the curiosity that I think is part of the motivation for all of us who attempt to propitiate the goddess.

I know how you feel! It's always surprising to me how so many seem to be disinterested in the beauty of nature, be it gardens or views. Some would just prefer to blather on and do not see or care about their surroundings.(Please see P.S.)
Most of my friends(the gals, anyway) do admire the garden...from the safety of the patio! The secret, I've read and can understand, is to provide a comfortable path of some sort to navigate people through the garden. People tend to not like tromping over a lawn. I've been reading lots of landscape books recently. They all emphasize the need to hide a part of the garden, adding mystery and interest.... " hmm, what can be around that path, behind that hedge?", kind of thing. Adding a bench , fountain or statue heightens interest. After that, well, "you can lead a horse to water...".
p.s. Example 1.) My 50-ish cousin from back east came to visit. His first trip to California. I placed him in the front seat and we drove past spectacular Pacific Ocean sunset vistas and through winding roads lined with old oaks. He never, to my knowledge, took any notice, never remarked on a thing or looked around. Too busy yakking on ordinary things.
Example 2.) We once lived on an acre that looked out on a creek and gorgeous woods. Breathtaking in all seasons: autumn foliage, snowbanks, trillium, lightning bugs.
My neighbor with the same view remarked that she was used to it and never really 'saw' it anymore. I was shocked.
I believe we are born with varying degrees of ability to see beauty. Some will stop to admire the veins in a stone, while others are blind to an incredible rose garden in the full flush of spring bloom. I'm so glad to be among the former! Uh oh! Sorry I got so carried away. Didn't mean to go on and on so :>(

Leah (and Jeri and Lotti), thanks for endorsing my dissatisfaction with the clueless guests. The lawn part may be key...we keep about two acres around the house in "yard", with about half a dozen big flower/rose beds and burbling fountains and semi-concealed statuary (lion reclining under huge shrub rose, for example). But ya have to actually walk from rosebed to rosebed across grass, that I keep pretty short, actually. Short of paving paths or setting up a trolleyride, I may just have to form them up in ranks and march them around the property next time. Not really. Sigh.
Hoov has got some wonderful paths in the pictures of his garden. Those run into significant money or work, one or the other.
Laura

I know rosenuts like us find it is hard to believe that other people are indifferent to our hobby. But, many people are not interested in gardening. We had graduation party a couple of weeks ago for our two college graduates. We had over 40 guests and no one even looked at any of my plants. My wife of 39 years is sort of like that....she hardly ever looks at what is going on outside. I do tell her, however, I never promised her a rose garden...but she got one anyway.

I'm the guest who goes wandering out to the gardens, and sometimes it really baffles people... where'd she go?! My husband's family's back yard has a very steep garden in sustaining wall tiers you have to carefully climb, and they'll find me up at the top or shuffling my way over to That. Rose. Over. There. I deadhead all of my mother-in-law's roses every time I visit. They've gotten used to me, but with other people? :> (Where'd she go?!)

I'd agree on the walkway, though, and some strange reluctance to walk on grass. I wonder if maybe there's some way to set up part of the entertainment on the grass? So they have to get on it anyway, and once there, might wander and appreciate?

I don't really care what people think of my landscaping to be honest. I do it for myself to admire.

I can guarantee four things when I visit someone. I'll definitely notice their pets, the titles on their bookshelves, the art on the wall and, of course, their gardens. If they have none of the above I tend to lose interest, because I know we probably won't have much in common. I gravitate toward the garden and have to remember to ask permission if it looks really interesting. Something just draws me outward. I feel a little disappointed if someone doesn't show at least a slight interest in my garden, but fortunately that hasn't happened too often.

Jeff, I think it's a girl thing. When I take time to make an extraordinary multi- course meal I do it mainly for my pleasure. I do expect those efforts to be noticed, though.
The 'foodies' will taste, chew slowly, savoring and exploring their bites, complimenting as they go.
Others will eat normally, with the expected polite
remark at the end, and usually one time during the meal. Both are fine, as long as group one doesn't go on ad nauseam, boring everyone else.
When I entertain, I work at making my home look it's best... arranging the flowers, lighting the candles, dressing the table in a special way, etc.
It's like setting a stage for the enjoyment of others, but yeah, most of all it's for MY pleasure. Again, I expect my efforts to be noticed, this time by the women, mostly.:>)
It's different when entertaining outside. But,if the garden really is looking gorgeous, I'm a bit surprised if it isn't noticed. With the garden, I don't expect remarks or compliments, though they're nice. I'm just surprised if all that beauty goes, seemingly, unnoticed. Kinda like my cousin ignoring his first glimpse of the Pacific Ocean at sunset...tho, hey, not comparing my garden to that, good grief!! Some people are just not attuned to the beauty of nature.

I would have said, hey, let's go take a tour of my garden, I've worked really hard on it! Grab your drink! I don't think that is impolite. People feed off other peoples enthusiasm too!
Wouldn't have let them NOT see it!
I agree it would have been nice if it was spontaneous.... But we are dealing with humans here! :-P

Did you invite them to wander? They may have thought that they would mess up your beautiful work, and were being polite in not just barging in.

We have a couple who are very good friends of ours and who are also in our rose society. They often remark how surprised they are when they walk guests through their garden, and some of the guests just 'glaze over', not even really noticing the roses and other plants. Others linger and linger, and can't get over the beauty of the flowers. Isn't it funny how different folks are? Different strokes for different folks - it's a good thing WE really know what's wonderful, isn't it? I'll visit a lovely garden any time, and feel fortunate to do so.

I've always had quite the opposite experience. We get lots of visitors and sometimes I think the garden is a bit of a local landmark. We hosted a wedding in our yard last summer on June 28 and the rose garden along with a pretty fabulous band were the hits of the day. People filled the garden and many told me they had never seen anything like it or ever expected to again. Little things like this make it all worth while.

Set up the tables and chairs out doors near the garden or put the food and drinks on tables in the garden.
If everything's inside that's where they'll stay.
I don't have this problem. People coming to my house are usually here to see the roses, not visit in the house.

I see what you mean leahcate. Different strokes for different folks. I've seen people walk through huge gardens with enormous flowering arbors, and they simply think nothing of it. It just doesn't amuse them in any manner.

For me, it's nice if somebody comes up and asks about a rose, but I'm more pleased to divulge the information and provide help than feel all that prideful about being asked such questions or being given such compliments. As long as I can go outside every morning and see roses blooming and for me to smell, I'm more than happy. For example, I am building a large arbor behind my current house where nobody can see it and I rarely have guests over. It's simply for my enjoyment and while I may build an small arbor out front as well where numerous people walk by, I'm more excited knowing I will be able to walk through it everyday I leave/arrive at home. Some people love to collect stamps, cards, toys, etc..........things I probably wouldn't even notice at first, but to them it brings them great joy and they may be equally bewildered if you wouldn't recognize their collection. I suppose it's perplexing for most people as roses and other plants give a very green, colorful, and overall natural feeling that we all enjoy, and it's hard to imagine such a person that somehow doesn't recognize it readily. All I know, is I sure do. :-)

Oh yes, Jeff! For me it isn't that I seek the glory. ("look what I did!" I save that ugly trait for my cooking attempts :>) Rather it's the astonishment felt that anyone could overlook such beauty. The different strokes thing is fascinating.
I always use the word "rich" to describe how I feel when I can fill a vase or two ( not a big yard) with roses. I have something special! You cannot walk into any market, box store or florist..anywhere, really...and obtain what I can from my very own back yard. REAL Roses! Yet I have a neighbor who inherited her roses and doesn't even know when they are in bloom, and detests flowers in the house...'the falling petals, the stinky water', etc. There I am, mouth agape, incredulous once more. Yep, people sure are different. Well, not us, though..about roses, that is :>)

My garden is my selfish indulgence, and I don't grow things for anyone but myself. Honestly, I would not mind whatsoever that nobody ever notice my garden. In fact, I would prefer it. Unfortunately, nosey neighbors are a problem for me; they sometimes come up to the fence and peer over or ask questions or make comments. When I'm in the garden, I don't like people to talk to me, to ask me questions or to watch me. I find it incredibly annoying as this is my alone time, my quiet space. My garden is my haven away from the world. I'm actually planting a lot of tall plants for the borders of the fence so I can screen people out and get more privacy.

I guess I'm selfish, but it is what it is.

Good thread. Yes, there is a whole cadre of people who don't seem to see anything outside themselves. I just had an out-of-town visitor. I drove him around showing him the area and realized he wasn't looking at anything--he was just chatting away about his job--so I turned around and went home and he didn't even notice how quickly the tour ended.

I invite people to come see my roses, and, by the way, have dinner or lunch.

I'm with Ingrid: garden, critters, books, art. But I'd add food, too.

If an invitation is inside the home, it is rude to go around and explore it, unless guided by the house-owner. But if the invitation is outside, in the garden, then it would be rude NOT to go around and admire it. Even if it were a horrible garden, or if one would not care about plants.
That's so rude!
It is an act of courtesy to fake some interest in what makes another person happy. To ignore it, is nearly cruel.

I can relate to this post very much. We have to throw a cookout every late-June just to get our families over here to take a look, even though once they are here they are totally blown away and take tons of pictures. If we offer food and drinks, they will come but we have to twist their arms to get them over here. So its pretty much a once a summer deal.

I live out in the 'woods' but do have a few neighbors. Because of our short growing season here, most folks don't even bother with gardens, and certainly not rose gardens.
The most you might see around here are vegetable gardens, or (shudder) plastic flowers stuck in windowboxes. People driving by always crane their necks to see my yard because its something of a standout. No one would expect to see so many gardens out in 'the sticks' and since I am out there every day working my *** off I am something of a curiousity. Once in awhile, someone will stop and stare
at me or my gardens (I'm not sure which) and I've seen a few folks taking pictures but unless I'm right by the road, no one approaches me. The few that do always ask how many hours I put into my gardens and shake their heads like I'm crazy to work that hard for three months of enjoyment. I'm always open to anyone asking for a tour and once in awhile someone will and I enjoy showing it off. But I can also relate to those of you who have their gardens just for themselves, because my yard is my haven from the world. And I take lots of pictures, so that over the long winter I have something to get me through....
and better yet, I share them with all my friends here on the forum who truly appreciate my efforts!

Celeste

Jason articulated my feelings perfectly. If I have friends over and they express interest in my garden I'm happy to show it to them. But I have one neighbor who used to feel that anytime she heard me outside she should drop everything and sit on my porch for as long as it suited her. I tried all I could to be gracious and finally said in plain english that I would prefer she only come if invited. My time in the garden is my meditation time and I don't like intrusions. But having guests come over is different. They are friends and I want to share my joy for the garden with them definitely.

Kate

I know what you mean, about people not noticing--or if they do notice, it's a "that's nice" kind of thing, no curiosity about this plant or that rose, etc. I guess it's the difference between gardeners and non-gardeners. I notice everything about someone's yard and garden--what they use for edging, what plants they have growing, whether or not they weed, prune and deadhead, various color combinations, and so on. I think we garden folks are hardwired to do that. It's not that I need the approval or a pat on the head for my own garden--I simply find it hard, as an outdoors-and-nature lover, to understand how so many people never seem to care about the visual feasts in front of them--my husband never notices the house nearby that has a hillside of orange poppies that are absolutely breathtaking every May, or the crowds of wildflowers in the unmowed road margins--I am forever pointing out such things. Of course, I never notice the classic cars that pass us by on the road, while he's admiring them and pointing them out to me (and telling me how many cylinders the engine has, or what year they ended production of that model--YAWN!).

Laura,
Boy do I ever understand your frustration. I get the same thing here. It drives me nuts! I really think a big part of it is guests who came expecting a regular dinner party do not want to possibly muddy their shoes and then walk back into your house which is probably spotless. Right? Many people are afraid of insects, snakes, birds, nature. I've had guests ask to come back at another time when they are wearing more appropriate clothes or shoes--and when they will have enough time to really look.
People want a clear smooth path to follow also. Funny, my hostas, in fact my whole shade garden, was ignored until I threw down 5 stepping stones and an arbor. Now everyone wants to peek inside.
I also notice books, art, pets and landscaping. That's how I get to know people.
I'm throwing a garden party next week because I want people to see the roses blooming. I'll invite gardening friends and hopefully the non-gardening people will catch some of the enthusiasm. I hardly ever entertain indoors from April to October. If people don't like the bugs or wind or whatever, they can come over in December, I guess!
Cindi

Thus Laura, in a nutshell, next time invite us all, not those bad people! lol

Please please please be so kind and put a photo of your garden, so we will enjoy it, at least in a picture :-)

So kind of you all, I feel much better. And with that encouragement, I opened a photobucket account and posted pictures. Here is a link to the album I HOPE>>(heart beating fast).

Here is a link that might be useful: prairielaura's flowers

To some extent I have to agree with Jeffcat, I garden more for myself then others. However that does not mean I live in a vaccum of self congratulations. If a passerby says something nice I appreciate it. I have few friends or relatives that really garden (annual bedding plants aside), so dragging them around the yard is more then likely going to result in them seeing only the barely concealed general clutter of unwashed containers, bags of half opened potting soil,weeds in the lawn etc. Why force someone to appreciate something they are unable to understand.

Laura: I would be out in your garden in a heartbeat. :D So much room to wander! Thank you for sharing the photos!

Thank you for sharing the photos! That's a wonderful place, transmits a sense of peace. I would have asked you tons of "how-do-you" questions.
What I like most is that it looks like an oasis out of time.

PS: nice dog!

Laura, Your yard and garden are absolutely wonderful If I was your guest, I wouldn't hesitate to explore every nook and cranny.

I, like most of you, garden for myself and my own enjoyment, but I do like to have other's appreciation for my hard work. I give a "garden party" in June for my family and friends and it is all outside, no matter the weather. I have a covered patio and that is where the BBQ and food are, and if nobody wanders out to look at the flowers, I invite them to see "this wonderful bloom of.....". If they aren't interested, they can always pass, but once out wandering around, they seem to like it. Nobody appreciates a garden like another gardener though.
Kathy

Kath makes a good point.

Some people don't have a relationship with roses or plants, but once you invite them out and break the ice with one of the roses or plants, it makes them curious and they begin to envy them more.

I suppose the same could be said for many of the people here before they avidly considered gardening.

I think it really depends on how good your friends are at being friends. I have a party about this time every year and hope and pray the roses will be blooming. Well, some will say, "Will you give me a garden tour" and others will never even comment about the garden. It is also a matter of how much those people appreciate gardens.

That's my 2 cents.

Barbara