Well, maybe not so scary

Looks like they've been using epsom salts like they saw on Pinterest, with Boric Acid for bug control.

-What effects on plants do you think this soil would have?
Unless they were extremely sensitive to Boron, probably not much.

I'd go ahead and plant and see what happens.

High levels of nutrients are not necessarily bad, if they are in balance. Excess Phosphorus in soil can interfere with the uptake or utilization of Cobalt, Iron, and Zinc while excess Potash will interfere with Nitrogen. Too much Calcium interferes with the use of Magnesium and too much Magnesium interferes with the Calcium, but plants need both, in balance. Boron, in too high amounts is simply a plant poison.
Who did the soil test and what recommendations did they have?

This actually looks like pretty good soil. pH is a tad high for vegetables but not too far. Organic matter is great, base saturations are in the right ranges despite the high totals. What's not to like? I would not add any amendments for awhile except to maintain organic matter, and N if it's needed for the type of plants. Use low P compost, i.e. avoid manures, and high N, low P/K fertilizer if you really have to fertilize.

A lot of gardeners would love to have that soil.

Thanks all for the comments. An extension office did the test, there aren't recommendations with the test for some reason however.

Call them and request them.

Beyond that, replacing the soil will only present a new set of problems. Far better to work with what you have.

It has way more going for it than against it, that's for sure. Note, P does not leach away very well, so if you aren't harvesting it in the form of vegetables, it can build up as you add it. Hence the advice to really cut back on sources of P.

At our extension office the horticulturist will tell us what we need to add to the soil or not add. I'd go ask, it's free advice from a professional.