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It's so hot here, that ....

14 years ago

My sister from California sent me this humorous e-mail regarding the weather in Michigan, where 4 of my siblings live. If you can think of some other "it's so hot in your zone ... that ..." I would love to see how hot your place gets. LOL! Thanks.

IT'S SO HOT in Michigan .....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.

.....the trees are whistling for the dogs.

.....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

.....hot water comes from both taps.

.....you can make sun tea instantly.

.....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

.....the temperature drops below 100 degrees and you feel a little chilly.

.....you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car (one on each hand).

.....you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

.....you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

.....you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 5:30 A.M.

.....your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is is, "What if I get knocked out and end up laying on pavement and cook to death"?

.....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.

.....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.

.....the cows are giving evaporated milk.

.....farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

IT'S SO DRY in Michigan that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

**** We had heavy thunderstorms last night in Chicagoland, 2" in my buckets... It's a miracle, folks ****

Comments (46)

  • 14 years ago

    You guys have made me feel so guilty - we have been having a less hot than usual Summer here, and I wish I could share some of our weather with everyone. We never have any rain for 6 months in the Summer (the entire state is irrigated), but that is normal for us, so it is not called a "drought". Our high temps have been in the 70s and low 80s F (instead of the 90s), and our "overnight lows" have been in the 40s and 50s (which is also normal for us in the summer -dry climate). Leaving the windows open at night cools off the house completely - no one I know around here has air conditioning. Last night I had to put an extra blanket on the bed.

    Jackie

  • 14 years ago

    Each year I complain, and each year it gets worse. When it is not over 100, it is still really uncomfortable. I want to hear some more words of wisdom. I cannot decide if the trees whistling for the dogs or the seat belt one is funniest.

    Sammy

  • 14 years ago

    Hi Jackie: my 2 sisters moved to California coast-land, so they have it good around 70 to 80 as the highest. Are you near the coastline?

    Hi Sammy: Since the Antique Roses Forum enriches me so much, I came up with more wicked ones to amuse you:

    "It's so hot in Chicagoland, that one cannot fart near a cigarette lighter, or else an explosion will follow...

    "It's so hot in Chicagoland, that one has to use an umbrella while walking, or else the skin sizzles like bacon."

    "It's so hot in Chicagoland, that one has to slip on a mu-mu dress while dashing to the store, or else risking looking like a sumo-wrestler dripping in grease".

  • 14 years ago

    come on down to Texas and let me introduce you to a little heat

  • 14 years ago

    Hey Greybird,

    I was in Chicagoland about 2 weeks ago and the temperature was 104. Yes I know, Texas is hotter but the kicker was that a powerful wind storm knocked out power for thousands of people for days in those temperatures. If there is one thing that I have learned on this forum, it is that we all have our unique problems with weather.

    Cath

  • 14 years ago

    I don't mean to sound like a scold. I appreciate the tales of difficult growing conditions from all around this country and others, not because misery loves company but because it demonstrates the ingenuity and perseverance of all you rose growers and sets a good example for me when things get tough here.

    Cath

  • 14 years ago

    Hilarious! And I'm in Michigan! I'm going to share it with friends. They'll appreciate it too.

  • 14 years ago

    After yesterday's slight rains and the bit of wind, the air is very clean, sun INTENSELY brilliant and it was over a hundred here today. It's SO hot, I'm sweating dust. Kim

  • 14 years ago

    I did not realise until about a week ago that parts of the US were in such a serious drought (international news doesn't make it to TV until things are really bad, or sports related...) Where I live, in South Australia, this describes pretty much every February where it regularly makes it over 44c (110f) and just keeping the garden alive is a challenge, let alone looking good!

  • 14 years ago

    Asia, a lot of the US is in a severe drought right now, and many crops are being lost and cattle ranchers are having to sell their calves too early because they can't feed them. I'm in the Houston area, and we had it last year but not so much this year, thank goodness. Our rains and cool weather have stopped, so I suspect we'll be joining the rest of the nation soon.

  • 14 years ago

    Oh that was soo funny!! The parking to find shade was funny, I actually do that hehe :S

    We just had rain yesterday and last night so that was a relief now just to get some rain to the rest of you! That week of the storm where our power was out and it was 100+ was horrible I would rather be inside sweating my fat off then outside sweating fat off and and getting burnt.

  • 14 years ago

    Hi Jessica: I feel your pain about power outage in hot summer (it happened here last year). I appreciate your sense of humor. Thank you.

    The bad news is the hot and dry weather continues into fall. The good news is the Japanese beetles eat all my blooms so I don't have to worry about them being fried in the heat ... Just kidding. I pick my roses in buds form before the JB get to them.

    It's so hot here that I sing the blues as I opened my electric bill, double that of my water bill.

    It's so hot here that Pat Austin blooms look like peach cobbler from the oven.

    It's so hot here that I spend my summer vacation in the shower.

  • 14 years ago

    Strawberry those are funny :D

    Ohio weather is so odd right now its 71 and its been misting all day so far.. But at least everything is getting drink here

  • 14 years ago

    We in western Washington have also had unusual weather. Last night for about 3 hours we experienced lightening storms. One after another. In this area that is unuaual. It also rained heavy which is also unusual this time of year.
    The plus...dont have to water anything for a few days and the storm was amazing to watch.
    The average temps have been mid-70's during the days and mid 50's at night. This is average for this area.
    Jeannie

  • 14 years ago

    Hey, it rained for a whole 5 minutes here the other day!

    Back up to 100 or higher ever since!

    I like the one about the Baptists and other religious groups best.

    Kate

  • 14 years ago

    Living in the south, some of those are true every year.

    But the drought is awful. I know, we went through it for a few years. We've been lucky this year. After a hot as heck June, we've cooled off and we are getting regular rain. My lawn and garden look great (well, except for the blackspot that came with the rain).

    I'm hoping that it rains soon for you up there.

  • 14 years ago

    How funny! This could also describe our eastern North Carolina summers. Here we factor in the humidity. We are having many days of heat indexes over 105.

    The serious drought in the midwest is most destressing. We will all feel it at the grocery store in the future.

    I grew up in south Georgia before anyone had air conditioning except a few department stores in the cities. Actually we managed quite well. House and car windows were left open except when rains mandated otherwise. The car keys were always in the car so they were never lost and most homes were never locked. In the heat we often slept on my Grandmother's "sleeping porch" or on the screen porch at home.. In those days in small town USA, crime was pretty much non existant. Pardon, my age is showing but I miss the freedom from crime more that I enjoy the cool of air conditioning.

  • 14 years ago

    It's so hot here that:
    ... the farmers have changed their signs from "Garden Fresh Vegetables" to "Garden Cooked Vegetables".
    ... I found someone selling "Vine Picked Fried Green Tomatoes" on the side of the road
    ... My horses are producing pre-composted manure

  • 14 years ago

    That's funny! harmonyp - thanks. My sister in Discovery Bay, CA, has a temp. of 99 degrees today. It's hot and humid here, I can't wait for rain to come.

    Hi sunnync: Yup, I miss the old days of no crime. When I was single, I was so paranoid about crime that I chose 3rd floor apartment - WAS IT HOT UP There! Now I wish I had chosen a house with 1st floor bedroom. All my 4 bedrooms are upstairs - I need 2 fans to go to sleep, plus air-conditioning!

  • 14 years ago

    Remember we should look at both sides of every position.

    Here is a link that might be useful: other side of the coin

  • 14 years ago

    Thank you, Henry, for that funny video of ice-storm and skidding. I never get hurt from the heat, but I fell down a few times on my slippery driveway in the winter. Actually the heat is like of cozy, at least I'm no longer vitamin-D deficient.

  • 14 years ago

    I have a new one...

    It was so hot today, the turkey vultures were circling me as I was out in the garden.

  • 14 years ago

    Buford so true lol

  • 14 years ago

    It's so hot here that I finally turned off the heater.

    Gean

  • 14 years ago

    Wow! That's pretty HOT, Gean! LOL! Kim

  • 14 years ago

    Great post----Henry the snow looks good if you can stay in the house----
    I don't go outside in any extreme temps----thank goodness I'm retired

    Florence

  • 14 years ago

    Buford and Gean: You both made me laugh - thanks.

  • 14 years ago

    I can't keep my hands away from me ....

  • 14 years ago

    "Officials at the arboretum have suggested ways residents can become involved and look for trouble signs with trees and plants:

    � Go on a neighborhood patrol and water trees in parkways.

    � Head down the street with a 5 gallon bucket of water and look for plants and trees that look like they could use it.

    � Continue to water gardens weekly and large, established trees every two to three weeks in dry periods.

    � Check new plants frequently and check on new species.

    � Provide water to container plants more frequently.

    We all have a stake in safeguarding the health of our trees and plants, and there are small ways each of us can make a difference. Visit mortonarb.org for more information."

    Here is a link that might be useful: Morton Arboretum warns that drought hurting trees, plants

  • 14 years ago

    After viewing Henry's ice storm video I'll keep the heat, thank you!

    Those are all very nice ways to help out, Henry, but some how I can't see many people walking around hauling 5 gallon buckets of water in this heat! Truthfully, I can't haul a 5 gallon bucket of water in any weather!

  • 14 years ago

    Seil, thats what grandchildren and a red wagon are for.

  • 14 years ago

    Come on down to Texas and I will introduce you to a little heat AND drought. Extreme to exceptional drought conditions since mid-March 2011 and no relief in sight. 2011 was the hottest in Texas history, with my town the epicenter of heat, over 100 consecutive days of 100+. This summer is better, tremendous heat in the 110+ this week. But at least the 100s did not start in March like last year. All that heat and drought kills things. Most of the pines trees and boxwood hedges in our town died last year. This year, with the water table even more depleted, we are loosing pecans, oaks, etc. My roses are dropping like flies, more from gophers and voles eating the roots than anything--no weeds and crops to eat with the fields barren. So the shade cloth protection I erected did little good. It is pretty dang nightmarish. And is sad to seen these conditions spreading into the heartland, don't know what people are going to eat, now that most of the crops are gone. Sorry that y'all are feeling a little warm this summer. Most likely it will be just a quick blip and will be gone. Looks like it is here to stay for my little part of TX.

  • 14 years ago

    Thank you, Greybird, I appreciate the honest info. I can't complain here with our temporary heat that goes away after Labor Day. I thought it was hot here when we got 80's in March, warmest in over a decade.

    My husband bought a pack of steak from Sam's club for $28 - I was shocked when I saw the price, that made 2 meals. I can see why the price of food are rising with the drought in most U.S.

    This is the first time in 12 years that my peach tree got wiped out by the animals: chipmunks, squirrels, beetles, and many insects devoured most of the peaches. I remember the drought in 2004 which we were swamped with grasshoppers. I could not go for a walk without a grasshopper jumping on me.

  • 14 years ago

    Yes, grasshoppers may turn to roses.

    ""Grasshoppers should be abundant, because the bacteria and fungi that normally provide natural control are not very effective under hot, dry conditions," he said."

    Here is a link that might be useful: Drought Creates Different Insect Problems

  • 14 years ago

    Thank you, Henry, for that post - I always learn from you, much appreciated. The news today: Half of India are out of power, or 600 millions people suffer - they haven't figured out the cause. I read books last year on 2012 impending natural disaster: solar flares, electric-grid outage ... I already stored up water in advance, if nothing bad happens, I can always use them to water roses.

    I stored at least 20 water bottles in the basement, and bought plenty of back-up power since our power outage last summer for 4 hours (but we suffered in the heat).

    My husband drinks these giant Tropicana OJ Jug - I rinse them well and put tap water in. Yesterday I check the 3 months old jugs - they smell really fresh, with a hint of Orange Juice scent - zero mold.. The lime in my water really suppresses fungal growth.

  • 14 years ago

    LOL, Strawberryhill, et. al.. Jackie, I want to slap you (notreallywellalittle)

    lived most of my life on the Gulf coast & finally got a direct hurricane hit a few years back & had the pleasure of 9 days without power in July. THE last straw, we moved inland, sick of the annual 'willwe/won't we get clobbered this year' game. My elderly relatives were getting seriously stressed by the heat. But everyone helped each other most kindly. Our neighbor got power back a couple of days earlier & ran an extension cord lifeline to us. Man, I feel for those folks in India.

    True observation: I just saw a large fence lizard lounging in a damp pot plant on the shady back porch. FYI, these rat-sized lizards are normally absolutely unfazed by broiling temps, scampering around no matter how hot.
    I've never seen one chilling out like that. We're really putting a lot of water out for wildlife--& they are really using it.

    Oh well, 4-6 more weeks, maybe? I wish you all cooler temps & rain soon!

  • 14 years ago

    I feel like a doom-sayer, but we are in plague-like conditions in some parts of the US.

  • 14 years ago

    I feel for all of you in the heat.

    In my part of CA most homes do not have A/C so when it is hot, it is HOT.

    We are having fog this morning, thick and wet, sweatshirt weather in the mornings but should clear later today and warm up some time after lunch. The fog lurks off shore and rolls back in over night.

  • 14 years ago

    Oh Greybird, losing the oaks! Reminds me of a forceably exiled Irish saint who mourned the loss of his homeland, of course, but especially his beloved oaks. I keep thinking of the biblical 7 years of fat and 7 years of lean. And pray we'll be that lucky. Hang in there.

    Cath

  • 14 years ago

    I really appreciate the thoughts. This being the second year of this, I wonder if this is what the climate change is going to be for us. We have pondered a move, but where is better, the change will effect everywhere differently. 112 yesterday, 115 the next two days. You can actually smell the heat. I feel like one of the Israelites lamenting in the wilderness!

  • 13 years ago

    It's so hot here, that ...

    I wish someone would cross a rose with a cactus to make a "Rosetus"

    My neighbor put fake silk flowers on her roses since they are not blooming.

    I'm camping out in the basement.

  • 13 years ago

    Okay Strawberryhill, that was funny:)
    GreybirdTx, I see your 100+ and raise you a few degrees here in Las Vegas, where it is often100 degrees at midnight. My neighbors in Phoenix can give me a run for my money.

    In all seriousness, it is very dry here which makes a difference. I was in Camarillo, CA last week. At 9 p.m. we all had to put on sweaters and jackets to watch the fireworks display, as it was in the 60's at that point. What will sound nuts is when we returned to Las Vegas on Saturday around 6 p.m., it was 107 degrees and we commented that we actually felt better here; sounds crazy but true. Maybe after years of living with the summer heat we have just lost our minds???

    We had a thunderstorm a couple of nights ago. I think the rain evaporated before it hit the ground.

    Lynn

  • 13 years ago

    Hasn't been all that hot in this part of Michigan this year. It has been wet though! Lots of gray skies and drizzles for days at a time. And even when it isn't actually raining the humidity is in the 90s and you wish it was! I wish it would warm up some and dry out so I could get outside and work on my poor BS and PM covered roses! If I were so inclined I couldn't even get out to spray anything because of all the rain. Haven't cut the lawn in two weeks because of it too. It'll be hay soon. I know a lot of places are dealing with high heat and drought, and I wish I could send you some of my cool wet weather for relief, but I'd really like some sun and heat about now.

  • 13 years ago

    It was so hot today I stayed inside and cleaned the house.

    Now that's hot.

  • 13 years ago

    Hoovb, that made me laugh, thanks.

  • 13 years ago

    It always amazes me what a difference humidity makes. Here in the Phoenix metro area, our humidity starts to go up in July when our "monsoons" hit, and you can really tell the difference. And it is still not that high, but it is much more uncomfortable.

    Still, I look forward to the rain we get with monsoons. However, they have become more unpredictable than they used to be (or they seem to be). There has been so much (mindless) building on the outskirts of town which has resulted in a heat island. Now, it seems the rains cannot make it into town as it dissipates on the edge of town due to the heat.

    Someone I know was in San Diego this past week and thought it was almost as uncomfortable as here due to the higher humidity. Amazing, as everyone around here tries to get over to San Diego in the summer to escape our heat.