Ingrid, please know how much I appreciate the information you have given on our beloved old roses! Your kindness speaks volumes.

I understand your need for a break, hopefully we will see you back soon...

Enjoy your hiatus, Ingrid. Rest and regroup. Be back as soon as you're able. You will be missed!

Sherry

Here is a link that might be useful: If only sweat were irrigation...

Ingrid,

I am so glad that you will be back. I have a confession to make. I tend to confuse you, Ingrid, with Melissa, not because your gardens are similar and not because your personalities are similar but because the questions you both ask send my mind down delightful avenues of thought about gardens. I, selfishly, want that to continue. So I am looking forward to your return...when you are ready.

Cath

Hi Ingrid,

I'm sorry I missed your "hug" in the other post. I send one right back atcha. Because of past experiences, I decided that if I can't help putting up something that might stir the pot a bit, that I should wait AT LEAST a day or two before checking in to avoid a heated back and forth.

You have NOTHING to apologize for. Your responses were extremely polite, thoughtful, and apologetic. I kind of sensed something was going on that made you take it to heart. If anyone needs someone to blame for starting "something" that would be me.

You and your husband gave ONE helpless, orphaned baby animal a fighting chance for its day in the sun. When an animal is so desperate it will overcome its fear of humans to beg for help and accept it, what can you do but help?

If bands of coyotes, snakes, and dingos are roaming the countryside picking off pets and babies, it's probably because humans have done something much more wrong than saving one squirrel. We've moved into their territory. We've destroyed habitats. I think I'm getting more and more misanthropic as I get older. Just because we have superior guns doesn't make us a superior life form.

But the meaning of life is to make more life. (That said, ALL SPIDER MITES MUST DIE !!!!!)

I don't follow any one religion or philosophy, but I do remember the Buddha saying something like we often create our own suffering. We insist on having perfect lawns and gardens, or insist on growing things that don't like our climates, then we can't exist in harmony with the rest of nature. How many times have I heard something similar here at this forum? But we insist on removing the oak tree or pecan tree to give the roses more sun, and suddenly the squirrels have developed a taste for roses even though they'd much rather have acorns or pecans.

It's funny how we all assign different values to different forms of life. Just this week I watched a PBS program about a husband and wife team in South Africa who remove black mambas from people's homes and release them into the wild. Most people would just shoot them.

We don't have woodchucks/groundhogs here in the deep south. So we think they're cute. A coworker recently visited a son and his family who have moved to New Hampshire. She found out people in New Hampshire do NOT think woodchucks are cute. In fact, she said she was rather taken aback at the look of rage on the "other grandmother's" face when she heard the word woodchuck. "WOODCHUCK????!!!!! WHERE???!!!!" My coworker said she was sure the woman would have torn the thing apart with her bare hands if she could have.

I remember playing some morality type game way back in high school. Think of something you want really badly. Would you kill a cockroach to get it? A butterfly? (Take those pretty wings off that butterfly and all you have is another rather creepy looking insect, right?) I was young and naive then. Today it would seem wrong to kill even a cockroach for personal gain. Have I already said, ALL SPIDER MITES MUST DIE !!!!? I think I did.

Ok, I've rambled long enough.

Do take a break if you need, one. But please DO COME BACK SOON! My new Romaggi Plot Bourbon bloomed for the first time this week, and I immediately thought of you. It was your pictures that made me want it in the first place! I love the long, decorative sepals, and the flowers are that lovely Bourbon pink. I wish the fragrance was a bit stronger. But the scent from the stems that rubs off on the fingers is nice. Like incense.

Oh, that reminds me of that gorgeous Baudelaire poem,

Evening Harmony

Now is the time when, vibrating on its stem,
Each flower exhales fragrance like a censer;
Sounds and perfumes turn in the evening air,
Melancholy waltz and languid dizziness!

Each flower exhales fragrance like a censer;
The violin trembles like a suffering heart,
Melancholy waltz and languid dizziness!
The sky is sad and beautiful like a great altar.

The violin trembles like a suffering heart,
A tender heart that hates the abyss, vast and dark!
The sky is sad and beautiful like a great altar;
The sun has drowned in its own stiffening blood.

A tender heart that hates the abyss, vast and dark
Gathers back every bit of the luminous past!
The sun has drowned in its own stiffening blood,
But your memory shines in me like God.

Ingrid,
I stayed out of all the back and forth on the other post although I was sorely tempted to add something. Anyway, I just want to tell you that you'll be missed by more folks than you know while you take this break.
Peace, and hurry back.
Anne

ingrid, I just posted on that thread, LOL.

I understand what you are going through with your cat. We went through it with our 6 who are all gone now. The only thing I can tell you is to enjoy them while you have them. Give them love and as much life as they can live. That's all we can do.

I'm an infrequent poster, so please forgive my rudeness in sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. I wanted to tell you that I read your "sammie's story" thread when you first posted it and was so touched it made me cry. Such a lovely story. I didn't comment, I guess, because I'm such an outsider, but now I wish I had. I imagine there are quite a few lurkers like me who enjoyed that story.

I have to admit that I rolled my eyes a bit at the requests to move the thread elsewhere. Yes please, let's make sure we keep this forum nice and boring. lol. I LOVE hearing mentions of people's pets tearing up gardens and significant others slaving away digging holes and whatnot. It's what makes things interesting. (It's what gets new people to post, fyi, because it's funny and non-threatening.)

Also, I'm sorry about your kitty. :( I lost my 14 yr old cat Miko almost exactly three years ago. He was fine one day and then paralyzed from the waist down the next day. He died barely three weeks after my brother died, and I really took it hard. I buried him (literally) at midnight and swear I kept seeing my brother out of the corner of my eye, standing just a few feet away. I felt like I was burying him again or something. Incidentally, I was a few days pregnant, but obviously didn't know it yet. I truly believe that people (and pets!) that we love never leave us. And little things such as having a wild squirrel remember us (amazing!) is just a reminder of that.

Feel better,
Britt

buford - "The only thing I can tell you is to enjoy them while you have them. Give them love and as much life as they can live. That's all we can do."

Each and every minute of the day I give thanks that I can pick up my Casey Cat, feel his warm furriness and hear him purr. I've never loved any cat as much as I love my Casey.

brittie - "I didn't comment, I guess, because I'm such an outsider, but now I wish I had."

You're not an outsider. You're a Rosarian and from what I've seen that qualifies you for instant and full membership around here. And I too believe that the people and the animals that we've formed that bond of love with never do leave us. That's the power of love.

Ingrid, I thought your Sammie story was lovely.

I hope you keep posting to the forum.

Taking a break is definitely the wisest thing to do. You have enough on your plate with your dear cat without having to worry about if posting something is the best thing to do.
I will be glad when you feel ready to come back. Although your rose topics are not that relevant to me in an extremely different climate, I still enjoy your prose and pictures.

I'm glad to hear that you plan to come back. I've so enjoyed your posts! I understand you're going through a difficult personal time but don't stay away too long. You have friends here who can help with their support.

Ingrid,

Just want to say that I enjoy your posts a LOT. The garden photos you posted in May are, IMHO, among the more memorable that have ever appeared here, and I've referred back to them a number of times.

Incidentally, it's thanks to that spring thread of yours that I now grow "Romaggi Plot Bourbon" and "Westside Road Cream Tea". They both progressed rapidly beyond band stage & I'm quite pleased with both of them, even tho I've not enjoyed many blooms (due to my ruthless pinching of buds). Thanks again for "enabling" me on those two. (You get to keep the gold star.)

SO sorry that you've been subjected to all the brouhaha that erupted on the now-infamous "other" thread. Don't know about you, but I could have done without the mini-course on scatology with its refresher on the horrors inherent to animal excreta.

And I just noted a lengthy OT thread by the poster who admonished you regarding posting OT threads elsewhere. A case of do as I say, not as I do, seems to me . . .

Dear Ingrid,
I am so pleased that we can look forward to having you come back here when you are ready. You, and all the pople here are too special to loose.
Last Spring I didn't get to take very many photos of my garden but here is one I have found today. So I want to post it for you, I hope you see it.

Mme Drouit
{{gwi:306176}}

It was very uplifting to read everyone elses caring posts.

I'll be looking forward to your return. You are such a special poster.
Jeannie

Ingrid, count me in. I loved your Sammie story. It reminded me a bit of the story of Christian the hugging lion that came out a few years ago. After being in the wild, the now-grown lion recognized and hugged the 2 young men who raised him.

If you must, please take a very short break and then jump right in. Don't worry about your posts; there are plenty of readers who will love everything you have to say.

Hang in there. We'll be waiting.

Ingrid,

With work being a little crazy right now, I've not been reading posts as much as I usually do. I was so surprised and saddened when I saw that you were not going to post here and EXTREMELY pleased when you decided to change your mind.

There are several people on this forum whose opinion and input I greatly value. YOU are one of them. Despite our climate conditions being wildly different, I think our taste in roses is remarkable similar. I like that you have several roses that are more mature than mine and are willing to share your experience with them.

Perhaps I'm one of the people whose posts you take with a grain of salt and a shrug. If so, thank you for being patient with me.

Again, I'm so glad you are not leaving our little family (at least not for long). Have a nice break but hurry back. Jeff

Take some time away, if you need to Ingrid, but please hurry back! We will be waiting with open arms. You are all class and elegance! We respect and admire you here.

Juliet

Ingrid dear, I read the Sammy post right before going away for the weekend and then returned to read all the posts that happened afterwards. I was shocked that things got so heated. I am so sorry. I remember once when I was feeling vulnerable I over-reacted to something someone said. I'm not saying you did necessarliy, just that I understand how it feels to be sensitive. I'm so glad that you decided you would just take a break rather than leaving. I would miss you a lot. The forum would never be the same without you. All my best to you.

Ingrid, I haven't been keeping up much with GW these days - too much going on - I did glance at the Sammie post and blessed your sweet caring heart, and didn't think anything more about it, so missed everything that followed. I do hope that you return/stay here, because your posts are such a pleasure and glimpses of your garden are so beautiful. I hate it when we lose people from this group unnecessarily because of hurt feelings. Please add me to the group hug and I look forward to your presence here again.
Anita

Ingrid, you are highly regarded on this forum, and we all love your photos of your beautiful gardens. Don't even take a hiatus. Just rest for a day or two, forget the foolishness, and get back to your charming self. You have taken the high road, unlike some others, and you're ahead of the game.

Ingrid,

It generally takes me a week to get thru my Sunday NY Times, so it was only as I was reading the 8/7/11 NYT magazine section this noon that I came across a feature interview that made me think of you and of your recent travails on this silly forum (silly in consideration of the greater scheme of things).

A brief portion of the NYT interview had to do with a raccoon who had taken up residence on the property of the man who was the subject of the interview. He reacted to the animal's presence in a thoughtful, graceful, humane way -- in much the same manner that I know you would have reacted.

There are control freaks, Ingrid. That's a fact of life. For what it's worth, I've had a previous personal encounter with one such person who also happens to be one of those who chose to castigate you here. Trust me, Ingrid -- that person's view of the world is of NO relevance WHATSOEVER to you, or to how you choose to live your life, or to how you relate to the world around you.

Take a deep breath, know who you are, and please don't deny the rest of us the pleasure of your company -- or of the pleasure of those wonderful posts!

Glad you've decided to stay, Ingrid!

There have been times before when something rubbed me the wrong way and I've just done other things for a while, a hiatus if you please, so, I feel your pain even though I'm not as active or been here as long as you.

I have been away from this forum for well over a year now and although I used to be a regular participant and adored this place and the folks on it, when I came across this post I was dismayed and saddened. I had started reading a few posts, trying to get back into roses again after being so busy with taking care of Mom, my grandbaby, and fighting the japanese beetles. I used to 'live' on this forum, excited every day to wake up and share my love of roses with my friends. I am sorry to see that there are still threads where people get hurt because this should be a happy, positive, peaceful and serene place where all feel safe to share their thoughts, feelings and experiences. I wanted to reach out to Ingrid but couldn't access her email address here. I am doubtful she will read this since she wanted to take a break from the forum, but I just wanted to send a cyber hug from a long-lost forum member.

The truth is, I left just as much from being too busy and being discouraged by the japanese beetles as I did because of situations like this. I went back to read Ingrid's post and I adored it! It was touching and heartwarming and just the kind of thread I might have started myself. My husband is a hunter and I am a tenderhearted animal lover who will save any animal that I can. He used to try to change that in me, reprimanding me for 'interfering' with Mother Nature. Now we've learned to live in harmony while being true to ourselves. I don't mind that he hunts so long as he doesn't hang the dead carcasses in our yard and he just smiles when I rescue a chipmunk out of the clutches of our cat's mouth. That's who were are and how we feel. Ingrid did what was in her heart and if someone felt differently, then the courteous and proper thing would have been to skip to another thread. As for being told she should have posted her story on 'Conversations', are you kidding me? That place was DEAD even back when I was a regular and why bother to post when few if any are going to see it? And people need to lighten up...if you want to read ONLY about roses and not about the people here that you interact with daily, then skip over the threads whose titles suggest something other than roses. I personally loved knowing about what was going on in my forum friend's lives other than roses. To those of you who may remember me, I miss you and wish you all the best. And to Ingrid...if you ever see this...keep on being yourself and be proud of the caring heart God gave you, even when it hurts.

Celeste

Celeste

Oh Celeste, how wonderful to see you back here again. Since I have been back I have been hoping to see how you are going. I loved the posts I saw of yours in the past. How are things going with your mother, new grand daughter and your garden ?
I have just about all the Gallicas you can get in Australia and large collections of all the other Heritage roses. I am so looking forward to this Spring as alot of my roses are well established and I hope to post many photos.
I have been emailing to Ingrid and I will make sure she has seen your very beautiful post. My email address is rosemeadow@harboursat.com.au if you would like to email me.

Ingrid, I never had the pleasure of knowing you well, but I pop in and out from time to time. I know all too well that knife to the heart experience. Fortunately, I don't believe I've ever had it on this forum. Usually I don't write a farewell, I just leave. I don't know why I'm so sensitive about certain things, and often it's not knowing what was meant and no way to clarify. Too often, I did know exactly what was meant.

I wish you well. I'm getting up there in years, but I've never been able to overcome my sensitivity. When I was younger, I took a lot and just was able to shrug it off and bounce back and you'd think I would have toughtened up more as I have aged.

Best wishes to you. It's not good to be emotionally vulnerable but it cannot be helped.

Celeste

I'm so glad you are back. There are so few Northern gardeners on the forum I look to you all for ideas about what does & doesn't work.

Didn't you have web pages a few years ago with pictures of your beautiful roses? Or maybe I'm thinking of someone else.
But I am pretty sure you posted pictures of the damage done by a very wet Spring, think it was last year. And I think there was a good part about how at least some recovered.

If you can find the time, please post some pictures here, a different thread of course.

Ingrid, I don't venture onto gardenweb often, but after reading your post, I went back to your post on "Sammy" and couldn't believe what I think are the posts that have made you decide to leave. I just wanted you to know that while I don't participate in this forum very often, I have always enjoyed your posts and stories about your garden. You garden in a much different climate than I, but I still enjoyed your pics and stories.

I live on an acre in a wooded area in the country so we enjoy a lot of wild life. In order to garden, we have erected a deer fence which doesn't always work. They still get into our garden from time to time. All the wild life (that wants) is welcome to our feeders which we keep stocked with lots of different seeds. Our squirrels are the native (Douglas) which are not too numerous here except out farther here in the country. We also have a family of Chipmunks and a bear from time to time. We do not feed bears or Coyote's but see nothing wrong in feeding birds, squirrels, chipmunks etc.

All nature is wonderful and so is a "compassionate person". I was so happy to read what you did for "Sammy". Hang in there and don't let anyone chase you away - leave on your own terms please.

I can't even begin to thank you all for your wonderful, caring posts, and the feelings you've expressed mean more to me than I can ever convey. Sometimes words just are not adequate and this is one of those times. Just know that I'm deeply touched and so very grateful. I'm a very fortunate person to have such friends. Thank you over and over again.

Ingrid

P.S. My beloved cat Casey died last Tuesday after three traumatic weeks of trying to save his life. Those of you who have pets will understand my loss. I wanted to share this with you who are my friends, but would ask that we have no further words on this topic. I know you will understand.

Ingrid, thank you for being you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Leigh