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Be Proud!

19 years ago

Here is what Larry the Cable Guy has to say about Saskatchewan ...


If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Saskatchewan.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Saskatchewan.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,

you live in Saskatchewan.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Saskatchewan.

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Regina for the

weekend, you live in Saskatchewan

If you measure distance in squares of farm land,

you live in Saskatchewan.

If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you live in Saskatchewan.

If you have gone from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in Saskatchewan.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Saskatchewan.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Saskatchewan.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Saskatchewan.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a

snowsuit, you live in Saskatchewan .

If the speed limit is 75 mph -- you're going 90

and everybody is passing you, you live in Saskatchewan .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are

filled with snow, you live in Saskatchewan .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Saskatchewan .

If you have more hours on your snow blower than miles on your car, you live in Saskatchewan .

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in Saskatchewan .

If you understand these jokes, and forward them to all your

Saskatchewan friends & others, you actually have lived in

Saskatchewan!


Comments (15)

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    And a lot of these are applicable to Manitoba also....

    The snowsuits over the halloween costumes.
    The Dairy Queen.
    The jumper cables.
    Potholes.
    Chilly 10 degrees.
    Assistance in a store.

    Brenda

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    LOL! I got that as an e-mail and it actually was Manitoba. With a few amendments, such as holidays is going to Fargo for the weekend. But a lot still applies.

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Good one Sharon. I also got a similar one in a e-mail about Alberta awhile ago.
    Here is another one about Saskatchewan:

    To all those from Saskatchewan, and those who wish they
    were.

    A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Saskatchewan. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer was climbing over the fence, an elderly
    farmer drove up on his tractor and asked what he was doing.
    The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and I'm just going over to retrieve it."
    The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over." The indignant lawyer said, "Listen, I'm one of the best trial attorneys in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
    The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Saskatchewan. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Saskatchewan Three Kick Rule'."
    The lawyer asked, "What's the 'Saskatchewan Three Kick
    Rule'!!!"
    The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
    The attorney quickly thought about this rule and decided that he could easily take the old codger. So he agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work
    boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The barrister was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear-end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
    The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."
    (I love this part....)
    The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."

    Cheers Al

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I got the same email a few years ago, but it was for Northwestern Ontario. The one about hitting a cow was changed to hitting a moose. :)

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago
  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    LOL at the gopher Pudge!

    Just to dig it in more, I have more about Saskatchewan. Remember thou, my home-sweet-home will always be Saskatchewan ;)

    You never run out of wheat
    Those cool Saskatewan Wheat Pool hats
    Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
    Your province is really easy to draw
    You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard
    It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house
    YOUR Roughriders survived
    You can watch the dog run away from home for hours
    People will assume you live on a farm
    Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense
    Americans give you weird looks because the your province or town's name sounds funny.
    The giant green turtle in Turtleford, is one of a kind.

    You know you're from Saskatchewan when...
    Losing sight of the horizon, for even a few seconds, leaves you with an 'icky' feeling of disorientation for the rest of the day.
    You're confused when cars come equipped with options that would never be needed, such as curb feelers and turn signals and yet, obvious options like trailer hitches and air conditioning, are extras.
    You actually understand, and perhaps can describe in detail, the necessity for geographical correction lines.
    You can't understand why those American television networks never settle on a schedule, instead of shifting all their programs back and forth an hour every spring and fall.
    You always know Christmas is near because stores stay open late TWO nights a week rather than one.
    You rent off-season storage space for your snowmobile on a week-by-week basis.
    You understand, and become quite emotional, when some outsider doesn't know the difference between a farmer and a rancher.
    You overhear someone explain how he installed a counter binder on his combine's pulley-driven wheat flattener with a square head hydrostatic coupler, using a universal bushing degreaser, and you can't believe he left only 5 inches of clearance between the kernel rotor and the straw-feed regulator - the idiot!
    Your pronunciation of "Saskatchewan" is down to 1 syllable: "Skatchw'n."
    Once every 23 years you perform strange ritualistic dances in public places (Riders win Grey Cup).
    You never realized you had a fear of heights until the day you made the mistake of peering down an open well.
    You're on a first-name basis with the clerks at the Payless Shoe store in Minot.
    Your other vehicle is a Massey.
    When the bank teller asks for some form of identification, you point to the arm patch on your slow-pitch jacket.
    You question why they didn't call them the Cypress Mountains.
    While cleaning out your teenage son's closet, you're alarmed to discover tucked away in the back a foot-high stack of old "Western Producers".
    You've required a total of 40 stitches over the years for various lacerations suffered while doing the butterfly at wedding dances.
    Every birthday you receive exactly the present you most desperately need: a new curling broom.
    You actually have enough ball caps to match every shirt you own, although you still insist on wearing only one so the others don't get dirty.

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Meanwhile, here in redneck Alberta -

    I live 5 miles from the "World Famous Gopher Hole Museum".
    Never had stitches from doing the butterfly, but someone put their foot through the net overskirt on my wedding dress - 3 foot tear. Mom had stuck needle and thread in her purse, so we were okay. My favorite sign - "Protected by shotgun 3 days a week - you guess which ones!". When we go to the big city (Red Deer) it usually takes an extra ten minutes to get out the door, as DH hunts for a clean ball cap. All this oil and gas is a pain - 15 years ago, 80 percent of the traffic going by stopped at our house, and the other 20 percent was the neighbor going for groceries. Now DH doesn't even ask "who was that" when a vehicle goes by. The country's getting downright crowded.
    We used to have a British travel guide in the library - I learned there that in Saskatchewan it is so cold, there are plug-ins outside the motel rooms so you can keep your battery warm. (Block heaters are obviously NOT a British concept.)

    Connie

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Here is the one for me. I'm not from Prince George but I'm two hours north and it all applies to this town too.

    You Know You're From P.G. When...

    You think your Polaris snowmobile jacket is better than anything by Armani.
    Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.
    You think everyone from Vancouver is a pot smoking tree hugger.
    You complain about gas being cheaper in Quesnel even though the refinery is in P.G.
    You think a Duramax Diesel Pickup is a luxury vehicle.
    You think your new west coast choppers t-shirt can help you pick up chicks at the Cadillac.
    You think sexy lingerie is fleece socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
    You think a nice rack is something you find on a moose.
    If you had five minutes alone with a member of Greenpeace you would find
    a nice place in the bush for them where nobody would ever bother them. You owe more money on your snowmobile than on your house.
    Your house is worth less now than when you bought it ten years ago.
    The Citizen covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires 2 pages for Mr. G and 7/11 overnight Stickups.
    At least twice a year, the garage doubles as a meat processing plant.
    You have a girlfriend/boyfriend on the side.
    When approaching a field or clearing you always slow down and look for wild game instead of keeping your eyes on the road.
    You have unregistered firearms.
    You know the 4 seasons: Winter, logging, breakup and construction.
    You wear a flannel shirt with a tie.
    The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
    You know Bill, Dave and Mike who work at the mill.
    Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
    You think Meisner is god.
    You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
    You keep your garbage in the house and pick crab apples off your trees so the bears won't come into your yard.
    You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
    Your truck payment is more than your mortgage payment.
    You have friends or relatives who moved to Alberta in the last few years.
    The mayor is your drinking buddy.
    You wait till May to fix the cracks in your windshield.
    You find -30 a little bit chilly.
    The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
    You own a 4 Wheel drive pickup with a plow in the front and a tidy tank and dog in the back.
    You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewels and your Sorels.
    You can play road hockey on skates.
    Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
    You think Surrey doesn't seem that bad!

    Syreeta

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Connie, actually that's not completely stupid because you can buy an electric battery warmer. But I once overheard an American telling his son that Canadians have plugs on their car so they can charge the battery if it goes flat.

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Syreeta - Mike is my husband, Dave is my son-in-law and Bill is my nephew! LOLOL (But i'm not from Prince George!)

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I actually do know about battery warmers, but I still got a kick out of seeing that in a guide book to Canada.
    Connie

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I think any of this applies to us in the north US as well. I'm in Montana - I tell my friends I live in the city- 50,000-- and they choke as 50K is a SMALL town elsewhere!

    But one thing here:

    If you drive 40 miles to take your son to college out of state, and over 400 miles to take another kid to an instate college.

    If you drive 400 miles for a high school basketball tournament- along with all 400 of your neighbors

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Oh, I forgot to mention, I wasn't implying that Americans are dumb or that they don't have block heaters, just that in the south States they don't. ;0)

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Bill is my dad, Mike and Dave are my brother-in-laws.

    Notice also that when in Saskatchewan or rural Manitoba that the ratio of 4x4 or any other trucks to cars is so much higher than say, in Winnipeg or other large cities.

    I like the 'battery going flat' comment!

    I have also used the greenhouse or trunk of the car over the years as a temporary freezer in the winter. Works great and no animals (skunk, dogs, raccoon, etc) can get at your food. I know others who have done the same thing. A friend of mine even used a rubbermaid container by the back door.

    Brenda

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    This came in my mail today:

    SO, WHAT DO CANADIANS HAVE TO BE PROUD OF? here are A FEW!

    1. Smarties
    2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp
    3. The size of our football fields and one less down
    4. Baseball is Canadian
    5. Lacrosse is Canadian
    6. Hockey is Canadian
    7. Basketball is Canadian
    8. Apple pie is Canadian
    9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass
    10 . Tim Hortons kicks Krispy Kreme's ass
    11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back ... past Their 'White House'. Then we burned it and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon Mackenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied ... Go figure ...

    12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.

    13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone ... anywhere .EVER.

    14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour.

    15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing .. but showed up just in time to get caught.

    16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
    17. The Hudson's Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.

    18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.

    19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.

    20. We don't marry our kin-folk.

    21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, Velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

    22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

    23. A Canadian invented Superman.

    24. We have coloured money.

    25. Our beer advertisements kick ass BUT MOST IMPORTANT!

    24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on!

    OOOoohhhhh Canada!!

    Oh yeah .. and our elections only take one day.

    Pass this on if you are proud to be Canadian!!!

    I AM CANADIAN !!!

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