Cheaper than a motel?

20 years ago

So, the house next door to me was sold in January, met the husband and wife and seemed like nice people. Found it slightly odd that until that point the wife had NOT seen the house they bought, but whatever. She's all gung ho to move in, he wants to completely remodel first.

Anyway a flurry of activity starts with what appears like people measuring and a tree service coming in and completely leveling everything. I think this is gonna be great, this house is FINALLY going to be cleaned up.

The former owner had hired the BillyJoeBob Tree Company, whom I just know was insured, to clean(I think) the yard after Wilma. Well after he got done destroying the remaining little bit of privacy I had in the way of a fence and managing to rip off a good portion of the roof eave with his truck - he was gone.

Now the yard is completely bare and any signs of work, remodeling, moving in have totally ceast to exist. Mind you I had lived with a privacy fence, for like 10 years now, so there is no hedge or anything to obstruct my view of the whole back of the house.

So anyway Mr. Hummer(that's what he drives) starts showing up for a couple of hours darn near everyday, sometimes 2-3 times a day. Everytime he shows up another car pulls in and joins him, always a woman and by no means the same woman. After awhile it has obviously been narrowed down to Ms. Chrysler300 as the preferred person to "meet" with; and no Ms. Chrysler300 is not Mr. Hummer's wife.

This has gone on almost everyday for months now, but it stopped for the past couple of weeks. I thought for sure Mr. Hummer had received the Lorena Bobbitt treatment courtesy of his wife, but I was wrong. He and Ms. Chrysler300 are back and trying to make up for lost time. Geez, local Viagra orders must have tripled since Mr. Hummer moved to town.

I keep telling my husband if I actually ever do see the wife again, that I'd love to have some innocent little comment to make and he keeps yelling "leave it alone"!!!!!!! lol

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (12)

solstice98
20 years ago
Take photos! Lots of photos of the cars, with the date imprinted on them. Leave them in the mailbox once Ms. Hummer is there. I'm not big on interfering, but she deserves to know.

Keep us posted; this is better than TV!
Irma_StPete
20 years ago
Oooooooh! Use it, use it! Write out a house renovations completion schedule, complete with privacy fence, landscaping accomplished, etc., and let the man know that if he does not keep to the schedule you will look forward to inviting his wife and him to dinner to discuss the construction of a fence.
Related Professionals
Johnson City Landscape Architects & Landscape Designers · Lawrence Landscape Architects & Landscape Designers · Nashua Landscape Architects & Landscape Designers · Allentown Landscape Architects & Landscape Designers · San Francisco Landscape Architects & Landscape Designers · Daytona Beach Landscape Contractors · Rockford Landscape Contractors · Erie Landscape Contractors · Saint George Landscape Contractors · Westminster Kitchen Remodelers · Lincoln Kitchen Remodelers · Lebanon Kitchen Remodelers · Ithaca Kitchen Remodelers · Middletown Kitchen Remodelers · Superior Kitchen Remodelers
minibim
Original Author
20 years ago
I've seen the wife maybe 3 times since January and she has always been with the husband, never alone. I just can't figure out what he's telling her for why they aren't moving or remodeling? Shouldn't she be anxious by now? But, I can't figure out who has a husband that just buys a house without bothering to tell the wife!

By the way honey, I bought a new Hibiscus today and it has a new house attached!!! lol

Maybe I could take lots of pictures and tell the husband, he better replace the fence if he doesn't want me to show anyone else the photos!
gcmastiffs
20 years ago
How about putting a nice shiny castration tool (bovine, or maybe small animal(?) emasculators) on his doormat?

I found one this week when neatening up the cupboards at the vet clinic. Looks very useful. Especially for the lowlife you have next door.

My opinion of men, or women who cheat on their spouses is unprintable..

Lisa
wanda662
20 years ago
Humm, maybe Ms. Chrysler300 is an interior decorator?
Just a thought. LOL
butterflygardener
20 years ago
I guess the ole saying "gardeners know the best dirt" is true! Hee hee!
Kat
Nicki
20 years ago
Ha! That's funny, Kat!

My neighbor had a "Mr. Hummer" that made frequent visits to her when she first moved in. Everyone new "Mr. Hummer" was a well known local property appraiser who was married. But my neighbor didn't seem to mind, and she got a lot of home improvements bought for her by "Mr. Hummer".

I wonder if these "Mr. Hummers" are the same guy? :)

I say, beware of men who think they need to drive around in expensive oversized vehicles.
minibim
Original Author
20 years ago
GCMastiffs,
I don't know who I think less of the man or the woman who has such little self worth to not think she deserves a real relationship.

Nicki,
I'd say that men driving oversized vehicles are trying to overcome some shortcomings but, obviously Ms. Chrysler300 doesn't seem to mind!!!!!!!!
julieyankfan
20 years ago
This post is too funny! It's better than the reruns on tv. We had a neighbor that kept us all entertained by this week's boyfriend. She ended up back with the exhusband, and sure enough, got her name on his new house. We told the people that bought her house that they are boring compared to her, but they're so nice. Keep us posted.

Julie
tropicalfreak
20 years ago
make sure you have copies of the pics....u never know u may need them again... and more leverage..

...more stories

cliff
mboston_gw
20 years ago
We actually ended up with someone buying the house next to us and they ran an escort service out of the house. You wouldn't believe how they trashed the house and the filthy pictures that were scattered all over the place when they left. To make it even worse the woman had tricked an old man into marrying her ( he was in a nursing home) and she took him for all his money. They (the woman, her boyfriend) lived in the house for a couple of years but often would have the electricity cut off for non payment.
What was really scary when the day that my young son saw a car come down the street and throw a rifle out into the yard and speed off. The house was finally foreclosed on and luckily we never saw them again.
austin1227
19 years ago
BUMP -
I was looking for an old post and came across this one.. Anyone got an update for us?