hang in there...I have been actively working on my garden for 8 years now and I have days when I think "this looks terrible, I am a sucky gardener". Some years I am really into it and some years I just don't seen to get the bug as strongly. It's kind of like Christmas spirit...you either have it sometimes or you don't.

Don't worry...things will come together. I don't think a gardener on here would tell you they are completely content with how their garden looks. I don't think I could name a single person that simply sits in their garden never saying..."I am not happy with this or that...I am going to change it".

Take a look around and see the good things you have arranged. They are there...you just don't see them cause you look everyday.

Be well.

R

Ahhhh. don't be discouraged, it will all come together in good time!
I wonder if your beards are planted too deep, the rhizomes need to be showing to get them to bloom!
Your daylilies might be a later blooming varity, and crocosmia is a late in the season bloomer, at least for me.
Pretty soon you will be posting pics and making us drool (remember we all take photos selecting the best views)LOL M

You are in zone 7. Do you mind telling what state you are in? That might help to narrow down why you are having problems.

Also mora has a point about our photos. Most of us post only the 'pretty' pics. I could take some photos of my yard that would make you not want to live within 10 miles of me :-)

i frequently feel the same way. i walk through the neighborhood every day, see everything that's blooming, and think, "will my garden EVER look like that?!"

unfortunately i have a VERY shady garden, and although it's lovely and cool and refreshing, i have to face the fact that it will probably never be a sea of blossoms like my neighbors' sunnier gardens. we just started working on the gardens this spring (our first spring in this house), so i know it's early in the game, but with each passing day it gets shadier & shadier here, so i'm just facing reality. thank goodness there are plenty of lovely cottage gardens in my neighborhood that i can at least go visit!

hang in there, and take care!

susan in kentucky

oh, goodness, I have been where you are. Hopefully, i can make you feel better! I got a ton of bearded iris from my neighbor last year before she moved--very few of them bloomed for me this year, and neither did those of several people I have talked to in this area. It had something to do with the change in the weather patterns over the winter, according to a local nursery. I guess they don't like that.
I put my daylilies in last year, and out of about 25 or 30 new varieties, I got to see about 4 of them bloom. It takes them a while to get settled. Many of them are blooming for me now, but there are many more that don't have scapes and buds yet. Some bloom later than others. Some of mine will not bloom until august or september!!
Some days, I look at all the blooms in my garden and think 'oh my goodness, i'm really doing it! This looks great!' and then the very next day I will walk out and the heavy blooms or the rain or the wind have knocked down plants, I need to deadhead, I need to weed, blah-blah-blah and I get soooo depressed thinking 'will all of this ever come together?'
I look at all of the pictures on here for inspiration---plant combinations, garden structures and accoutrements, of course, but most of all I look at them and think 'okay, my plants are babies right now, but in a couple of years I, too, will get something like this!'
Try to stay positive--last years drought and super hot temps, then the strangely warm winter--caused alot of confusion for alot of the plants around here. While they say that the third year a garden 'leaps', last year seems to have stunted many plants growth. They don't know that they are supposed to be leaping! The good side is that we are getting plenty of rain this year, at least in my area. And the temps haven't been so ridiculous (at least, not yet anyways!) so keep on gardening, and don't stop dreaming about what you want your gardens to someday be.
Oh, and keep in mind that most of us only post pictures after we have weeded, dead-headed, and when the garden is looking it's absolute best!

I do quite a bit of thinking when I'm enjoying the photos in gardening magazines, and Birds & Blooms and such. By what plan do they manage to have the gardens lush, pristine and full of bloom on the appointed day the photographer arrives? Ever wonder that?

When taking photos in my garden I am often tempted to 'cheat'. I wouldn't hesitate or think it wrong if I did - I only haven't because I'm not all that clever.

I was taking photos two days ago of a brilliant stand of yellow yarrow with screaming blue lobelia planted smack in front of it... and I happened to glimpse my bright red poppies out of the corner of my eye. I paused to think "I could pick a half-dozen of those and jam them into the yarrow, wow! what a picture that'd make; red, yellow, and blue!" But, as I am so fond of picking the poppy seeds I gave up that brief idea. I have to go to a lot of trouble to either crop out the 'uglies' in my garden shots - or casually explain them away as if they don't matter (yeah, right).

I have toured just a couple of famous gardens and there are areas I view with slight surprise "why don't they move/remove/clean/fix/kill that!!!???" Well, because they're all part of the whole. Even famous gardens (with professional groundskeepers) have years that the freesia don't bloom, the lilacs mildew, the wind ruins the delphiniums and sunflowers. You just gotta keep on going. Small miracles await those close to the soil. Keep close.
GH-

I've certainly felt what you're feeling. I still am in my front yard. Take heart. Your work WILL pay off. My best advice is to amend that soil and mulch, mulch, mulch. Also, if you haven't already done so, you might have your soil tested. Many local nurseries provide this service. Or you could just buy one of those DIY kits. You may have a nutrient deficiency. As far as your bug problem is concerned, that should eventually work itself out as the garden matures. You will always have pests, but nature has a way of balancing this stuff out (Japanese beetles aside). For now, you might release a few praying mantis and some ladybugs. Although I do spray my roses, I try to avoid spraying much else. I'm not a fan of pesticides, so I use neem oil with pretty good results.

So turn that frown upside down and let a smile be your umbrella. My, that was cheesy even for me!

Steven

YOu all are so kind. Yes, I should focus on the positives. My husband looks at me like I have lost my mind as I stand practically in tears and ringing my hands over the garden. I have done a soil test, and I think the soil is okay, although adding compost every year is certainly on my list. I am in Northern Virginia, and we haven't had a lot of rain this year, although I am pretty good about watering the garden. I don't think my beardeds were planted too deep, but who knows. They are in full sun,and they bloomed last year. I know I need to be patient, I just constantly find myself thinking, "Well, maybe NEXT year the garden will look good." I need to get better at enjoying the process. I guess that is my challenge!

i feel your pain!! gardens are such a labor of love, when they don't perform as we expect, it can be such a disappointment (much like children!!). it sounds like you are doing everything you are supposed to be doing, but the rewards aren't coming...or perhaps it is difficult for you to see just how far you have come? three years really isn't a long time. we all hope that our plants will settle in immediately and give us a glorious show, but most often, they will do it in their own time. why don't you add in some fast growing annuals and easy perennials in the meantime, while you wait for your slowpokes to do their thing?
another thought, do you have any photos of your gardens from "way back when"? when i get discouraged, i look at my old photos and can see the progress i've made. it sure helps to do a side by side comparison.

good luck to you, and keep your chin up!!

:) jiggreen

Look for the good in your garden instead of what isn't. Check to see if your iris need dividing already, or a boost of fertilization. Old fans don't bloom again, just the new ones I believe.

I doubt that just one person can maintain a perfect garden, all the time. Some of those perfect photos don't show the adjacent areas that are coming in, or going out. The angle makes a difference in how photos look.

Crocosmia isn't even blooming in my garden yet. It's too early. I gathered Black Eyed Susans for vases for a function a group was having. They were well received and I'm perceived as a 'real gardener' -- they didn't see the areas where a row of once blooming daylilies had soggy socks hanging and bare stems, or the bare foliage where phlox hasn't started yet.

GardenersHands, you know now where to drop some of those poppy seeds for next year. That's how plans are born.

Nell

This is a terrific thread.. it IS hard to see everyone's GORGEOUS pics and not get depressed sometimes.. There is so much we want to do and then time, energy and money all take a factor too..

My garden isnt that old.. it's in it's 4th summer and I have to tell you that 4th is sooo much fuller than third! last year i got down too...I was kinda disspointed with my third year last year.. and now I am moving stuff around in the 4th year and that will make me wait longer!! hahah It's always something..

I agree with everyone else too- we take the best shots and hide the uglies ( though i cant hide my lawn of clover. haha)

I have been feeling VERY down myself... so I hear you.. Last year I loved my columbines.. this year they are 6 different colors and sooo tall that they are blocking the stuff behind them - which is about to bloom! aaaaaaaaaaahhh
do i cut them..?

My tomatos have a bug on they've been in for 2 weeks... come on!!!

the whole north east side of my hosue is an empty bed around my foundation... that's fun... ( no money to buy the shrubs and no decision yet on what to do anyway) I fear I may have to redesign the entire back bed of the house...

I have a weed hill that i have been meaning to tear up and turn into something ( anythign) that is still weeds..

and I can't even FIND my crocosmia! I think the spiderwort and columbine ate it.

the mint took over my hosta and sage and I am ripping it out slowly..

what else.. the weeds in the paths of the veggie garden are out of control...!

i have plenty of irises given to me by a friend.. this is the second year they didnt bloom and I dont even think they are spreading!!!!

last year i got ONE bloom- and this year i got 23 !!( from a different iris bed) so just be patient...( a trait that is VERY hard for me)

Oh yeah- and I am OVERRUN with chipmunks

I like what doggone said- it's liek the christmas spirit.. good analogy!!

To add to that- I found somethign that helps steer the attention away from the stuff you hate.. and that is- helpign someone else! I have 2 peopel this year who have come to me and asked me to help them deisng the front of their house... it may just be a small section.. but they dont knwo what to do, what to buy, Nothing... it's amazing what little some people know about ANY plants.. It is soo nice to go shopping with them and help them choose what THEY like and tell them what will work and what won't.. how tall it will get, etc..and it satisfies your will to shop with THEIR money. hahaha

Gotta love that

so find someone who thinks YOUR gardens are the bomb and help them.. and just be patient with your own.. Focusing on soemone else's will give you patience to not do anythgin to your own.. you know?

anyway- long rant.. sorry.. but I SOOOO know how you feel.

You mentioned having a string of bad luck. Personally, I think luck plays a big part in gardening. Some things you just can't control, like the weather. Specifically temperatures and rainfall. Some years the weather is just ideal and our gardens love it. Other years, our gardens just kick into survival mode.

You mentioned being in the middle of a drought. It's nothing you are doing, it's the weather. That alone puts a lot of stress on a garden. Ask me how I know that!

Right now our temps. are 100 degrees, and our drought continues. I also have clay soil. Put this all together: 100 degrees + drought + clay soil = brick! I'm not kidding, I will need a stick of dynamite to dig a hole in my garden. lol I'm only slightly exaggerating. :-)

I even have a crocosmia that is a TX native, that is gone, kaput, dead. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

BUT....every now and then I get a unexpected, sweet surprise from my garden! This year I successfully grew sweet peas for the FIRST TIME. They were in bloom up to last week, which amazed me. I am thrilled, as sweet peas do not thrive in the heat. I'm going to gather seeds and plant more this fall.

These wonderful surprises, plus the comaraderie of my gardening friends, keeps me going. I will never have the lush, greenery of my friends in Maine, the PNW etc. but I will work with what I have and enjoy every victory.

Hope this helps. So get out there and get your hands dirty! :-) You're doing great!

Marilyn

Hang in there! My cottage garden was started 14 years ago and I have had so many ups and downs along the way. Somedays you think "WoW! this patch is fabulous and other days you doubt yourself. The advice I recieved from old-time cottage gardeners is....time is your friend. The three year (your garden is mature) is a bunch of hooey. Or at least I feel that way. All the best cottage gardens I have seen are at least a decade old. Why? Because it takes years to get that lush-overplanted-no soil showing look. Especially if you are using typical cottage plants. Roses growing to cover a arbor take time. Same thing with full beds of bulbs/perenials. I understand the need for a visual pay-off because you have put such hard work in to it. I love the suggestion of planting something easy that will give you pleasure. It will make you feel successful. Even if it is container planting-anything pretty. When we moved to our home- it was four foot weeds..my Mom suggested clear out a patch and plant yourself some sunflowers and that will keep you going..until you start to see some progress and she was so right! I still love my sunflowers! My Grandmother has a cottage garden that is over 30 yrs old and she is still moving and fussing over her very established plants. I think it is part of the gardening process. I have not yet met a gardener who is smug/content about their "perfect" garden. Don't give up!!! And keep us posted on your progress!!
Gigi

I can't thank you all enough. It is so wonderful to talk to other gardeners and have you understand what I am talking about. I think the idea of adding annuals is great- I have been reading Christopher Lloyd's books and learning a lot about how he uses annuals. I also think I am going to try to winter sow some this year so I am not so dependent on the perennials for a show. I absolutely need to be patient, and it is a great idea to look at old photos.
friend- you completely crack me up. I'll bet your spiderwort did eat your crocosmia. Just like gooseneck loosestrife ate ALL of my digitalis.

fammsimm- congrats on growing sweet peas successfully. I have tried many times and failed, so you inspire me to try again.
Thanks again everyone- I really appreciate the response.

Hi Three,

I know your pain!!! All too well actually! But I concur with just about everyone else who has posted, gardens are perpetual works in progress with good days, bad days, good years, bad years and of course none of us post the ugly pics ;)

One wise gardener on Gardenweb (actually she answered me on the organic forum when *I* was feeling hopeless) gently reminded me that the main reason I garden is for the journey, not the destination. Might sound corny to some but I think many on here understand what she meant. I know she nailed it for me!

Keep your chin up and know you aren't alone. We've all been there and I'm sure we'll all end up there again, at least for a moment or two but it will pass. Its a cyclical thing;) But isn't it nice to know you can come here and share the good, the beautiful, the bad and the ugly?

Michelle

threeorange: Hang in there! Things will get better. So sorry that you've had a string of bad luck latley. I hope things turn around for you. I know how devastating bugs can be. My first year of gardening, I had nothing but infestations.

I know it's kind of late in the season, but I have some leftover seeds that you're welcome to try. Many are perennials, so you wouldn't see blooms until next year. But I'd be happy to send some your way. Just email me if you're interested!

Tracy

Lots of great advice here. I've been gardening for 8 years and I admit that I have a full look. The thing with gardening is that you are dealing with nature. It requires patience and acceptance. I had a variegated iris that just bloomed for the 1st time this year. I planted it 4 years ago. We have been having extremely hot, dry and windy weather. This weekend the wind just decimated some of my plants. Others weathered it just fine. Then there was the year that we had terrible straight line winds in June and last summer when we had hail. I always figure there's always next year ;O) Believe me if you look back at your before pictures and then pictures from each year, you will see the garden growing before your eyes.

Michelle

HI Threeorange!

Glad YOU think it's funny. ahh well- laugh or go crazy right?

I'll let ya knwo if i ever find my crocosmia

I moved into my home 10 years ago, my yard had been neglected for 50 years and was in terrible shape. I didn't begin working on my garden right away--this summer is my 6th summer...and it's also the very first summer that I haven't felt embarrassed by "what the neighbors may think".

GardenWeb has played an important role in my gardening life. I have so many plants that I've swapped with so many lovely people. When I'm outside enjoying the ambience of my garden, I remember and am warmed by the thought of all of my internet gardening buddies.

I know that eventually you will get there, too, and I hope that being on GardenWeb will make your garden extra special.

So here's a toast to a rosy future!!!

"Somebody is sitting in the shade today, because someone planted a tree yesterday." Author Unknown

Keep in mind. Rarely does anyone ever take pictures of their gardens (and post them) when the flowers look bad or when there is nothing blooming. Also, it takes years for clay (I am assuming that's what you have) to be amended. Try and find plants that don't mind clay for the short term and then as your soil becomes more workable you can add more variety. Just a thought!! Hang in there - it's the fun and the challenge that keeps us gardening. Good luck - Carrie

Ahhh- there's an idea-maybe we should have a bad picture post thread... Just to cheer eachother up.
and for those of you who are actually truly just plain sickening with your perfect gardens.. you need to kick a plant or douse it in bleach before posting to make us feel better. ( or just take a pic of your neighbor's pathetic attempts and tell us it's yours)

I'd go first- but i'm afriad no one will follow

or... another idea - post before and after pictures. Before you knew what you were doing and after when you got better at gardening. I'll see if I kept any "befores" - Carrie

My soil is actually pretty good as I have a smallish garden and it wasn't hard to amend it. I love the idea of before and after photos- I just don't know how to post them!