A year ago i was in my home office at around 1:00am finising a proposal. I glanced up and noticed a huged PB on the wall about a foot from the ceiling. My wife and 2 year old were asleep- so i muffled my shriek... as I am scared of only one thing in the world... the word I will not say but can write- ROACHES- especially huge ones.

My office is somewhat cluttered, it also has guitar equipment and amps lining the floor by the walls- I swatted the thing down and of course he was hiding out behind one of these. Obviously I couldn't go to bed as i knew IT was still alive. Shoe in hand I cautiously looked behind each thing and as soon as i saw it- he scuttled to the next spot. I chased that beastard for 30 minutes finally hammering him with my shoe- all the while trying not to scream. I go into the bathroom to get a wad of kleenex to pick him up with and perform the coup de grace- the crunch grip of death before sending him to the sewer via flush- I come back and he's limping toward me- (I swear this time he had a knife). I hammered him again- picked him up and transported him to the bathroom and tossed him into the hopper.

Exhausted- exasperated I recoiled and attempted to regain my sanity- 10 minutes and 3 fingers of Tequila later I stumbled into the bathroom realizing I hadn't flushed the commode. Eager to send my enemy to the fishy deep- I raised the lid of the commode- and screeched in horror like a school girl- Little did I realize my son's potty seat was on the commode top- i had tossed the wadded mass with enclosed seemingly dead bug in their- and the size of the wadded kleenex was large enough to not be able to clear the seat- The D@MN thing was wriggling out of the kleenex- not dead yet!!!!

I reached for a clorox spray solution under the cabinet then followed up with a shot of Lysol for good measure. I flushed the mess- slowly got myself together- I sat in bed shivering for hours before I fell asleep.

I would rather confront a prowler who broke into my house than one of these things!