chop off the leader and thin-out leaves weekly at the 10, 11, 1, 2 o'clock positions and stop fertilizing.

Hmm, is this true even for a mature tree? My tree is a good 35-40 feet tall.

You may have a Bowhall maple or an Armstrong Maple...
Bowhall is a red maple that has a height of 45 to 50 feet and spread of 18 to 25 feet. Here is a link on it http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/ST044

Armstrong is another one that comes to mind, it is a freemanii
Here's a link with pictures http://oregonstate.edu/dept/ldplants/acfreea1.htm

I definately would NOT top the tree. I think you have one of the columnar shaped varieties... I wouldn't ruin it by pruning out the top.

You can't change the shape. There are a number of trees that are selected to grow in that shape.

The Arnold Arboretum in Boston list maple trees like, 'Pyramidale', 'Globosum', 'Golden', 'Temples Upright' 'Columnare'. These are just a few of the descriptions of the shape or color of the tree. And of course 'Newton Sentry' a narrow upright maple.

I think as it gets some age, you might be content with the fact that it is not 40-50 ft. wide and completely blocking the house. I for one think these selections should be planted more often.