Why did you not contact the landlord first, if you were afraid of just talking to your neighbor (because I can see that someone who calls the police because of a squirtgun might not be someone you want to deal with in person)? By using the watergun, you have put yourself in a much worse position and it is going to be difficult to make your case heard.

Before you mentioned the watergun, I was completely on your side. I had an apartment on the ground floor of an old house, and people would sit on the front steps and talk on their cell phones. They'd bring lawn chairs out and set them up two feet from my open living room windows. I had to choose between listening to all their private conversations, including some terribly intimate details, or not using my living room, where my computer and TV and comfy chairs were. In my case, I spoke to my neighbors and let them know I could hear them, and also the landlord, who put up a bench in another area of the huge yard, to encourage people to move away from the house.

Does your lease specifically state that the porch is for your use only? Or is the landlord going to see the porch as a shared outdoor space for all the residents? That's going to affect how your situation is handled.

At this point, I'd suggest that you be apologetic for soaking the neighbor, and very, very politely explain that the noise of chairs bumping into the outer wall disturbs you, the constant talking bothers you and the smoke drifting into your windows is a health problem.

But I wouldn't expect much. By assaulting your neighbor, you have turned yourself from someone with a valid complaint into someone who needs to be dealt with.

I hope for your sake that you don't get evicted.

Thank you so much for your reply. I should have said I've talked to the landlord multiple times. This has been going on since 2007. He does nothing.

The former landlord made it clear the porch was not to be used by anyone. But clearly the current one is not willing to do that.

Lucky you to have a landlord willing to work with you. I chuckled at your telling the neighbors you could hear what they said. Sadly, the main guy and most of his friends have such heavy accents I don't even know if they're speaking English.

He might be filing an "intent to harm" complaint against me. So I guess I'll just call my lawyers and let them deal with it if he chooses to file the complaint.

That should generate some comic relief in court..."one of my senior citizen neighbors assaulted me with a super soaker".

Oh well, I needed to shake things up a little. And I sure had fun doing it.

Thanks again for your thoughtful and thorough reply. Much appreciated.

Lilly

I feel for you, BUT, your new landlord obviously considers the porch to be for all tenants use.

IF this goes to court, the only comic relief will be you and your squirt gun. The landlord says all tenants can use the porch so you have no say.

What does your lease say about quiet times, or peaceful enjoyment?

This has been said before but just wanted to add my two cents. Do not fill the squirt gun with vinegar. In fact, do not use the squirt gun again.

Oh heck, I would just MOVE!!!