Have you told your boyfriend you are considering leaving him over this? He may not realise how strongly you feel about the issue and the only way to make sure he realises is to discuss it with him.

Face it - the guy isn't going to leave. Why should he? He doesn't have to take care of his messes, he's allowed to invite anyone he wants in, and he's not even paying his full share of the rent. It's a sweet deal.

Definitely have a talk - just you and your boyfriend - asking when the "few months" is going to be over. Point out that the guy is still unemployed, you feel unsafe with the strangers he's inviting in, and he's making more work for you by not cleaning up his messes. This is not the living arrangement you thought you were getting. Right now, he's letting an acquaintance make life hard for the woman he supposedly cares for, and you want it to stop.

And, find another place to live short-term. Move there and tell the BF to let you know when the freeloader is gone and it's safe to come back.

And change the locks after the freeloader moves out. You have no clue who he gave keys to.

Netla, I've told him how serious it is and that I'll be okay to leave him should his friend not leave at the end of September like he is suppose to. Based on this understanding and my conversation with him, he understand that I will and that I am good for my word. Which is why he assured me that he'd be gone. I don't care if this guy moves out and lives next door, on his bike or with his "acquaintance's" parents (she still lives at home too), I want him out of my house.

Lazygardens, I have made preparations to stay with a friend in case I become at my wits ends. But on that same note, why should I let him run me out of my house? I'm on the lease, not him. I've decided to wait and be patient for the end of September to roll around. This is a long time as it is only July. I will also take your advice and change all of the locks when he lives.

In reading what you both had to say/ask, I've learned my lesson, and friends will not impose on you nor will they take advantage of your kindness, no matter how bad their situation is. Real friends will help themselves and only seek other help as a last resort. My boyfriend and his brother are selfish in a sense to put me in this situation, after I've expressed my discontent and to even think that I would pay a portion of their friend's rent. I will not ever allow myself to be put in this situation again under no circumstances.

Thanks...

Posted by belleftl: "Friends will not impose on you nor will they take advantage of your kindness."

Should be:

"Friends Boyfriends will not impose on you nor will they take advantage of your kindness."

You're still giving this guy until the end of September??? After reading your first paragraph (sorry) but I could tell you were a doormat. Nobody is going to listen to you at this point. You should have asserted yourself when you got the gut feeling when your boyfriend "asked" if loser-boy could move in.

What kind of man are you with, anyway???

belleftl,

I think you have done the best you can considering the situation. It was a mistake and we all learn from our mistakes.. that's how we all grow.

I can tell you're a nice girl and wanted to give a helping hand to somebody when they were down and out. Hey.. because what if it were you right? But this loser has taken advantage of his friends in the worst possible way and he needs to go.

Do yourself a favor and don't you back down if he "conveniently" can't find a place to crash... I wonder if he's even looking?

My word... this man is 31 years old.. you even helped him find a job and he managed to screw that up too?! Dude needs to get his life together big time.

This is what parents and siblings are for!! He's taking advantage of your boyfriend's and his brother's kindness and causing them to do the same thing to you. You are right.. it is NOT your problem.

I would start finding apartment brochures online and lay them out for him to look at.

If I were you I would even speak to him and remind him he needs to be out by x day and tell your boyfriend since he's HIS friend he needs to keep prodding him and ensuring that he will indeed be out AS PROMISED.

Otherwise.. you are gone for good. Because seriously, if your boyfriend can't handle this messy situation that he's gotten you both into then what does that say about your future life together?

Hope this helps and good luck! :)

You know what they say.. "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."

Thanks erin007. Great approach on the brochures! I didn't think of that! I have been dropping hints here and there to both my boyfriend and his brother about him leaving. "Well, he's moving out by that time anyway...", and I've not heard any resistance from them to my comments. So, I am patiently waiting for that day to come and believe me I will not back down no matter what the present circumstance is. Giving in, will only give them the okay to continue to take advantage of me. They'll have to get over it. Their friend must leave. As you mentioned I will make sure the boyfriend reminds him one month before about finding a place.

Thanks