Geckos can make your life a living hell. I learned that the hard way. I remember lying in bed watching a couple of them mating on the ceiling one evening, this was shortly after I bought my house; and thinking they were so cute. I inadvertently encouraged them because I have automated outside lighting and this attracts a lot of insects. Fast forward 15 years. Now I kill them whenever I see one. Please allow me to debunk some gecko myths and give you the benefits of my experience with them.

Geckos are beneficial: Not necessarily. We have an infestation of a type of gecko that originates in India, so they are not indigenous and they compete with our beautiful little skinks, who are. I see about 500 geckos for every skink. And the skinks are losing the battle...

Geckos can be relocated, just take them outside: I found a three legged gecko in my bathroom one day. Not wanting to harm it, I carried it to the bottom of my garden (2500 square meter property). A day or so later, guess what? There was a three legged gecko in my bathroom again. Geckos are territorial.

Geckos are harmless: They may well be, but their poop is not. Google and see for yourself. Geckos have "communal toilets", if they decide your kitchen counter is going to be "the spot", they will keep coming back until you kill them. I have seen a gecko come in from outside, poop, and then go back outside! They usually do it from a height (cornice) and depending on the size and consistency of the turd, it can splatter quite a bit on impact (read kitchen counter, dish rack, bedside table, windowsill etc). Bear in mind our variety can grow to 4 inches or more (excluding tail) and output will be in proportion to input.

Not convinced? Read on....

I have been unable to keep the geckos out of my ceiling void. My ceilings are encrusted with gecko poop. From time to time I have to go up there with a paint scraper, vacuum cleaner and a bucket. It's impossible to get to it all, and I'm not talking about a few hundred turds, there are thousands of them! My house is surrounded by huge trees. Broken and cracked roof tiles are the norm. Consequently there are leaks from time to time. When one of those "communal toilet" areas gets wet, the poop starts to ferment. As I write this, I'm breathing in the stench of fermenting gecko poop. It permeates the whole house - all the time! Did I mention the climate here? 40 degrees (C) in the shade on some days, and after the rain, up to 60% humidity inside.

Still getting those warm sqooshy sentimental feelings when you think geckos?

Have you ever woken up in the night because of a disgusting smell? That's right, a gecko above your head pooped on your pillow and you just rolled your face in it!

Have you ever reached for your freshly made cup of coffee only to have to pour it down the sink because as you were reaching for it, there was a little plop? Yes, you look up and a gecko has just crapped in your coffee cup!

Have you ever been reading in bed, all freshly bathed and ready for sleep, only to have to go and wash your hair because a gecko on the ceiling let go a nice big wet one?

I'm safe, I live on the 12th floor: Don't kid yourself. Remember that box of stuff auntie gave you, the one she's been storing in the attic, the one with the gecko eggs it? As long as there's food for them, they'll stay. And they're not afraid of heights.

Oh, and they travel by car too! My carport is infested, nothing I can do about that. They poop all over the cars. The poop is corrosive enough to eat the galvanising off metal. I've been driving along the freeway only to have one pop up from under the bonnet. If you find a straight stretch of freeway and get your speed up to about 140, it might just blow away. But don't count on it.

Don't make the mistake of leaving a car window open when you get home either. Sooner or later, a gecko will find it's way into the car interior. It will then do two things. It will poop all over the interior, and if it can't get out, it will die. Then it will stink. A lot! If it dies in an inaccessible place like the innards of the dash, or one of the air vents, you will be stuck with the smell for the duration of the decomposition process. If it's in an air vent, running the aircon may reactivated the decomposition process from time to time thanks to condensation that may form.

And believe it or not, I could go on!

Even after all this time I still don't like killing them. But small geckos become big geckos. And few become many. And dead geckos don't poop!