No suggestions on how to get going again but I totally get what you're saying. We only broke ground a few weeks ago, although have been planning the house for months and I'm already tired too. I likely would have preferred a different type window but I just didn't have it in me to reserach them. I didn't care that much. It may come back to bite me.

Have you seen some of the earlier posts here on this topic? They won't all cheer you up, but you'll definitely see that others "feel your pain." And, sometimes, have cures for it.

We're 1 1/2 years into our project, starting with the search for land. Couldn't find any so we bought a teardown house where we want to live. Went through one deranged prospective builder, trying to do design-build. Fired him and designed our own layout, but couldn't solve some problems, so hired an architect. She designed a house that our current (great!?) builder estimated at 50% over our budget. Now our lawyer is trying to get us out of the contract with her but with the right to take her drawings, modify them down to a manageable cost, and build.

So, I'm pretty much "over it" and we don't even have the trash house torn down yet. My energy rises when it needs to, based on a phone call giving me a task to do or a deadline to meet. Or when I spend time on a fun aspect of it. I remember someone saying her mother told her there would be some aspect of housekeeping that she'd like. She finally found it: arranging roses in a crystal vase. Unfortunately, building doesn't contain a lot of that, but you can keep the dream alive.

I have slogans and cartoons and magazine pages of dream-decorated rooms everywhere in my house. And lots of cookies: fun ones like animal crackers, since I'm sort of "crackers" half of the time.

Trust yourself: the energy will be there when you need it. And also: a lot of it just isn't all that important. Get the big things right.

Here is a link that might be useful: falling out of love

Can I say that here? Here's another good thread--read on down toward the bottom. It gets more helpful.

Here is a link that might be useful: stuck

This one is more cheerful. Yet it includes the everydayness of the building process.

Here is a link that might be useful: Just another happy day of building

This is the best of the lot. Doing reruns here--"The Best of.." series. Scroll down about a third of the way in the thread to find my favorite humorous saying of all time here.

Here is a link that might be useful: Some good advice

You may not regain your original enthusiam. But, repeat after me "This too shall pass. The house WILL be completed". Repeat as many times as necessary.

It WILL happen. You will move in. You will be happy (for the most part).

And do read those other suggested threads.... Most everyone else here has gone through what you are experienceing (if they haven't yet, they will)

Trust me the day will come and you will finally get to move in! There is hope! It took us 10 months and we had our first night in the house last night! It was great. I can't believe we forgot the champane! You'll get there, just hang on!

Pan

Turn the delay into a positive by getting on the same wavelength with your g.c. concerning finish items such as flooring,hardware,trims, colors etc. Most folks enjoy this part of the build. You have a lot coming down on you at once with the loss of kin, car,delay. Try to get away even for just one day and take a break from your build.In the mean time, use the delay to stay ahead by choosing your finish items.

Thanks everyone for the encouraging replies. I was actually surprised anyone would respond to my sad post. When I logged off after writing it, I thought, "Well now, that sounded like lyrics to a sad old country song - why did I write that?"

But I'm glad I did. It was good to admit, even to myself, just how run down I was feeling. Believe it or not, it's helpful to hear that this dip in spirits is common in the course of building. I'm going to read the recommended posts, and try to keep the mindset that this project is a marathon, not a sprint, and that I have to pace myself for the long haul.

Thanks for listening! And good luck with all your projects!!

"lyrics to a sad old country song"

Blues is more like it.

I remember feeling totally overwhelmed at the mountain of decisions I had to make building this house . . . every time I got one done, another one had to be made QUICKLY! We moved in with one bathroom, no kitchen -- did dishes in a basin in the shower -- slept in a guest room (no CO inspections in this county) and basically camped out for about 6 weeks. I swore I'd never do it again. We ended up loving the house and the choices we made.

BUT . . . our house has sold and we're moving to another state and building again . . . I'm not feeling as inadequate this time. I guess the fact that this one turned out great gives me more confidence.

All this to say . . . this too shall pass, and when you get in you'll be glad you spent all that time and effort to make the decisions . . .

amck, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how that is adding to the stress of your build.

One thing we did that greatly improved our ability to manage our build since we both work full time and I'm in classes at night to boot, was to hire an Interior Designer @ $75/hr. We haven't used her much, but she was a godsend when I was in exams and DH was working overtime and a decision had to be made NOW. She was also helpful when areas came up that we weren't quite sure about, it was nice to have that qualified 2nd opinion. In addition, because she does this "for a living", she is familiar with available products/where to get them, and knowing what style we are going with, she greatly reduced my research time when I needed it.

We've spent about $600 on her services, and considering we are now 3 weeks away from move-in, I can't begin to express how valuable she has been to us. If you're not sure how to find a reputable one, call the home builders in your area and ask for referals. All of them use one for their showhomes (that's how we found ours). Each designer will also have a portfolio they can show you of prior work they have done.

Good luck to you on your build and keep us updated. Once the sheetrock is done, you will be amazed at how quickly you will again get excited as painting is done, trim is in, flooring etc.

Worthy: the musical accompaniment is truly helpful. It goes with my emergency kit. Will be played while viewing my big sign: "You can only kill your GC once."

I feel your pain too. We broke ground in Dec (bulldozed the existing home) and things got off to a great start. We did hit a few rough patches but they passed. We are the GC's but hired a building mgr (a GC/builder by trade). It was so exciting in the beginning but now I find myself just not giving a crap as to what is happening there. I don't feel like talking to the mgr about anything. I drive by the house everyday but I rarely even walk it - DH does that. Stucco has begun and insulation then drywall are next.

I know this will pass and I'll feel great when it's all over. It's just trying to get there. I do know a big part of our problem is the awful market as our current house has yet to sell. That's another story.

I have been slowly buying items for the home from ceiling fans to sinks to lights hoping that will help get back some of the thrill. Hasn't worked yet but at least that will be less decisions I have to make later.

Good luck!

I'm wondering if maybe some of us don't have inflated expectations about the excitement of the build. If you are your own GC then you have no choice but to stay involved--excited or not. But if you are not, maybe you don't need to be as involved with it as most of the folks on this forum seem to be.

For instance, I've watched my brother build and GC two houses. But this last/retirement house he had a builder do for him. I thought he'd be all over it. He was not. Except for critical parts, like checking the framing, he pretty much stayed away except when called. I asked him how/why and he said "I'm not building it; I'm having it built. I just make the decisions I need to make." I was amazed, but he sure came through this one more sane and serene. And his house is fine.

It might be misleading to think everyone who has a house built is as involved as those of us on this forum. Do you HAVE to be? And couldn't it get done (if you're not the GC) pretty much to your satisfaction without the constant oversight and energy-drain?

In other words: aren't some of us working too hard on our houses unnecessarily???

And you're gonna feel that way off & on until it's finished.... Sorry to say that! It's been a crazy emotional roller coaster ride for us, too - we broke ground in early May & is nearly done - hopefully completed by the end of this month. Fast, I know, but it looks absolutely fabulous! We just sold our other house on 7-31st, whew! That was a million pounds of stress on it's own as we would not have been able to get the new house if we hadn't sold the old one...... So we feel soooo much relief to not have that pending sale still hanging over our heads. However we still have to work everyday, deal w/ everyday stressors, continue to be a mom & a dad (we have 3 kids - but we just 'inherited' 2 more - so we now have 5 kids ranging from 8-13 y.o.) continue to wait for this new house to be completed, go to the site everyday, look & see what has & what hasn't been accomplished in a day, have a million & one other things on our minds, etc. Oh, and work sometimes 40+ hrs./wk.! Yep, I'm stressed & lose interest periodically. At least once a week, on a Monday, I'll say,"I'm not coming back over to this house until Friday!" Yeah right, we go everyday, sometimes twice a day! Life will soon get back to some semblance of normalcy - but I don't know, since we have 5 kids now!

I appreciate getting all this feedback. There are some good points to ponder - such as how often we really do have to get to the site. It's a 1 1/2 hour round trip drive for us from our current home, so it's a lot of travel after a work day.

I think it was more important to do before the sheetrock was installed - that was when we could change mistakes before it meant tearing into walls. For example, my GC forgot that my range is going to be dual fuel, and we wouldn't have had the propane gas lines properly installed except that we were up one day and noticed the oversight.

Buying things for the house was a fun diversion in the beginning but now our garage bays are overflowing with boxes making it an obstacle course to get in and out. Funny how when the first lighting fixtures were delivered my reaction was "Yippee! Let's see how they look!" Now when I get a package that reads "Fragile - Please open immediately and check carefully" I have to force myself to look at it. I soon discovered that when repackaging anything I've carefully inspected, it's like working a puzzle to get it back into the original box for storage.

Again, I appreciate the support and suggestions. I will surely post pictures when we get to the end. I know we will enventually, and that it will have been worth the work.

There have actually been times when I thought about giving up and putting in a double wide-- seriously.

It isn't just that everything takes longer and costs more, that I expected.

My problem is that one detail after another gets irredemably messed up or sacrificed for budget reasons, and sometimes when I do a walkthrough the 'wrong' stuff is all that I can see.

I keep thinking things are going to get better-- there's a little bit less left to go wrong on a daily basis. But I had about 3 melt downs this week, and I'm almost afraid to visit the site now, for fear of what I'll find...

The sacrifice for is where I am going to have trouble.
I know I have champaign taste on a beer budget.
My sister is getting new granite counter tops. She asked me to go to the showroom to look at the slab they had chosen for her and when I walked in I fell in love with a beautiful piece that was black with pearly looking blue thru it. The salesman told me that is the most expensive piece they handle. Figures...I would like that one.

How about a little humor for those of you being your own GC?

Here is a link that might be useful: being your own GC

Pinktoes, that was a great article about being your own GC, and also a great question re. whether we're over-checking the construction site. I think that the house would probably be fine, but really it depends so much on your GC, and how detail-oriented he/she is. I don't know that I'd leave it all so much to chance, or the GC, unless I REALLY knew the GC well. I think most people only know the GC from referrals (at least I've never built before), so I'll be checking frequently. I know someone who had a $400/sf builder miss things like electrical mistakes, etc.

I drive out to our site everyday and it has not worn on me yet. I say yet! So far things are going pretty good except for a few minor problems. I sure hope they stay that way. The only thing I fear is theft at this point. Our GC came very highly recommended by not only my sister, who has worked with him in the past, but by a friend who found out we were building. I have total faith in him and I think that is what is helping to keep me at ease. I sure hope I stay this way but I sure was getting mad when it took 3 months to get the slab poured! LOL! Good luck and just remember, it will all be worth it in the end!!!!

Kelly

I'm not my own GC and I don't think I would have the time as I'm already busy running a clinic.

This doesn't mean that I'm not involved however. From day one my builder gave me a set of plans that our subdivision pre-approved. He told me I can change, add, delete anything I wanted. If it was a major structural change it was just going to take much more time to re-engineer and get approved (much more money of course). They told me do as I please with the plan or I could come up with my own plan as long as the community approved of it.

I kept my plan as it was and only changed non-structural items to keep costs down. I read all of Sarah Susanka's books and played around with my plan to add character to the home. The biggest decisions I had to make concerned the orientation of the home on the lot as well as designing my own electrical plan and low voltage wiring. This took the most time in my build. I also had them build a soffit over my bay windows and carve out a window seat as well as add a few arches around the house. I wanted to keep my costs down so I didn't fiddle too much with the plans they presented to me. Other than that it was choosing just about every fixture, doorknob, flooring, counter-tops, cabinets, appliances, roofing materials etc... down to the last detail, but I thought that was the fun part.

Otherwise I've been very involved in my build, visiting my home just about every other day for the last year and staying in contact with my builder. I've never lost interest probably because this was all so new to me and I had a lot to learn. I'm about three weeks from moving in and I can honestly say the thrill was never gone. That is, until they send me the final bill I'm sure.

If you are your own GC then you have no choice but to stay involved--excited or not.

Pinktoes - this is so true. However, in our case things have slowed way down at our request. We still have a home that hasn't sold so there's no rush to finish the new one. Therefore, not alot has been going on at the site for a while. This was mostly due to a holdup on the frame inspection which was waiting on a specific mitered window to be installed which had to have special approval from the city after the architect took his sweet time gathering the mitered window wind loads and other required information to forward the engineer for his approval and seal.

Between DH & I, we are on top of everything and haven't missed a beat. The mgr is holding our hand, advising and overseeing everything as he has 25 years experience building top quality homes. Once things start moving again, I hope to be back in the swing of things. I know this will pass.

The thrill is back

Here is a link that might be useful: getting on my last raw nerve

building is a magnetic experience!

Here is a link that might be useful: refrigerator magnets