I think yes, the wing chairs could work with your other things nicely. They have a more turn of the century vibe than a Federal era feel.

Wish I could see the dining table under the cloth! It's hard to know what to say w/out a pic of it naked. I can say, indeed, the cloth is not "you!"

Is the condition of the table good? Maybe a cleaner, simpler look would make it feel more like you? You could skip a cloth entirely & just tablescape with a pair of candle sticks & some fresh fruit or flowers?

I happen to love the dining chairs, which I can see very clearly!. Chippendale ladderbacks are great! They'd go better with my furniture than with yours though, so throw them over to Virginia. I'll catch 'em!

You'll make it all work! Everything looks very clean & in good repair.

The condition of the table is mint. She purchased table pads for it when it was new and I don't think they have ever been off the table. Yes, there are more leaves and more pads for the leaves... Not sure she will go for the bare look after all these years of protecting her baby.

Yes, most everything is in good repair. BTW, thank you for pointing out the style of the dining table/chairs. I just called it 'formal'. What style is her sofa?

Sofa is Empire style-Duncan Phyfe.

Wonderful! All is mint condition! Sounds like the table will serve you well when you entertain...all those leaves!

No naked table for her, huh? Okay...you'll find a great tablecloth, I'm sure! Can't wait to see your arrangement of the furniture in your house. It will be very pretty!

The rugs are gorgeous, btw!

I agree with stinky that you'll make it work. The table should work just fine.

I think it's so generous of you to be willing to switch your furniture around for her.

They'll be lovely in your house, and it's generous of you to incorporate her favorite things.

For a tablecloth, I'd search for some antique European 'double damask' linens or a newer Williams Sonoma linen piece. They may be able to bridge your styles nicely...

Sounds pretty, Sweeby!

I love everything except the wing chairs. (Maybe it's just the angle of the picture?) I'm afraid I couldn't live with them. The good news is that they are the most store-able item of all the pieces. Perhaps she could find room for one of them in her own sitting room.

I also renew my concern that having her furniture in the rooms you use all the time will be a problem if you (and your kids, guests, pets) don't conform to her standards of furniture "save-it-don't-ever-risk-any-wear" conservation. If you don't use your dining table daily, then having a cloth on it all the time won't pinch too much. But if you have her pieces in your daily living rooms then I foresee discomfort. Tiny pricks (things you wouldn't even notice if she was your guest -or host) will fester when faced on a daily basis.

Good luck! (Not meant snarkily - I really mean it and I admire you for pursuing this.)

L.

The wing chairs *are* very quirky but they have grown on me over the years and I'm kind of excited about putting them in our living room. They tend to get a reaction, good and bad. LOL.

Our house is large and there are rooms I seldom visit unless I am dusting or vacuuming. Even the dining room isn't used unless we are hosting. My family room will remain in tact with the exception of getting a sofa bed instead of my well loved but worn leather couch we bought 20 yrs ago. If we set up two larger rooms for her, with the bulk of her things, they won't be part of our daily living. She can still maintain control of her stuff.

I don't do festering. It's just not my style. I deal with issues head on, in the moment, and then let them go. If she can't deal with her dining furniture in our house, I'll suggest perhaps we should sell it and bring back my own things. I will tell her over and over if I must, that her things are being loved by the next generation. I can't imagine this being an issue though. She is meek. I am not.

She has always respected *my* house. Even if I insisted we store the pads, she would likely be OK with it. But I won't go there right off the bat. I'd like her to get good and settled before I make changes other than a tablecloth.

We have pets. Our kids are grown and gone. If she gets annoying, I'll take upstairs to her apartment where she can watch TV, read books and talk on her own phone line.

Seriously, my beloved Uncle urinated in the corner of our living room, thinking he was in the 'out house'. He climbed stairs all through the night and we'd wake up to him staring us in the face, lost. We remained loving and understanding. DH never complained and we replaced the carpet when he left.
(Actually, we pulled up the carpet and refinished the floors underneath.)

Because we have a large house, it won't be as bad as it would be if we had a normal sized house. I'm renting a storage space so we can see what is most important before we disperse things within the family or sell it.

She is 89. She needs to feel loved, needed and cherished for the remainder of her years. And if she can't be left alone down the road, at least she has $ so we have have someone come here to stay with her. That wasn't an option for my elders. She is a piece of cake.

Wonderful post, Golddust. You sound concerned, compassionate & loving, but also quite rational! You are willing to do x, but not y...you clearly know your limits, good for you.

You will work it all out, from both a decor angle & a relational one. I have nothing but confidence in you, & lots of admiration for you!

I think you will make it all work. You have good boundaries, and any mother in law would be very lucky to have you as her daughter in law.