A little levity.

14 years ago

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I'm glad to see you've regained consciousness. You probably won't remember anything, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be o-k, you'll walk again and everything, however your penis was severed in the accident, and we couldn't find it in the wreckage."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming, and we now have the technology to build you a new penis.

They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."

The man perks up.

"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want.Ã¯Â¿Â½ I understand that you've been married for over forty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife.

If you had a five-incher before and get a nine-incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine-incher before and you decide to only invest in a five-incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she is involved in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day and asks, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes I have," says the man."

And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes" says the man.

"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite countertops."

Ã¯Â¿Â½

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Comments (8)

CaroleOH
14 years ago
LOL!!

Here's one that made me laugh too - having been married 25 years.

The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door Wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes..

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and Mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, Black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,

(You'll love this)

"What's for dinner, Zorro?"
Sueb20
14 years ago
I heard the first one but not the second. That one killed me. I have been married for 21 years to a man who could totally be that last guy.
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yayagal
Original Author
14 years ago
Haha that was funny too.
judiegal6
14 years ago
Both funny! Nice to start my weekend with a laugh.
moonshadow
14 years ago
rofl, these are great, nice to start the day with a good laugh ;D
hhireno
14 years ago
Hee, hee, hee! Thanks for sharing those, they're both funny.
cyn427 (z. 7, N. VA)
14 years ago
Heheheheheh.
denali2007
14 years ago
Too funny!