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WWYD - Multiple 'Home Party' Invitations

13 years ago

I am sure most of you, like me, receive the occasional invitation to a 'home party' type event where jewelry, etc. is displayed and sold. Here is my dilemma: I have an acquaintance whom I see monthly at a book club meeting (met her through a friend of a friend), but otherwise have no interaction with (no phone calls, emails, Facebook, nothing). Apparently she has started a new business selling skin care products, and I am receiving an Evite weekly to these various parties.

I told her (truthfully) that I use Obagi products, love them, and have no interest in changing. She keeps sending me the invitations and I keep declining because I have no interest in the products, work full time and value my time in the evenings with DH, and don't particularly like her. I want to just ignore the invitations, but then I will feel rude and awkward when I see her at Book Club. I also don't want to go just to be supportive of her and then feel obligated to buy something I don't need or want.

WWYD?

Comments (27)

  • 13 years ago

    I wouldn't go and would simply continue to decline. You already told her you didn't want to switch. Maybe she will get tired of wasting her time or money sending you invites.

    Then again, Is this email? Might be an automated list. Either way, next decline, ask her to remove you from her mailing list because you really love your current products and have no intention of changing. Maybe she forgot. Put it in writing.

    I wouldn't worry about it too much. She's just trying to start a new business and thinking of everybody she knows to invite.

  • 13 years ago

    I don't think you should feel rude or awkward when you see her-- she should feel rude and awkward for continuing to push you when you've made it clear that you don't want to participate.

    Look to see if there's a way to unsubscribe on your own or block her messages. (With Evite, I'm not sure that there is.) If there isn't a way, send her a note asking to be removed from her mailing list.

  • 13 years ago

    Just say no, thanks. :-)

  • 13 years ago

    Did not know this was an automated service. You can usually unsubscribe.

  • 13 years ago

    I have always told my friends if they ever have one of "those' kinds of parties, do not invite me and do not ask me to have a party for you! They don't have any hardly anyway, but, they know where I stand and they still love me!

  • 13 years ago

    You can write her a personal email requesting to be removed from her list. At this point in time you need to stick with your currant brand. You wish her every success.
    Please try to understand that she is probably desperate to get this business off the ground and maybe hopes you will also pass the info along to people you know.
    My sister had a member at her book club that was selling cosmetics. At one meeting she started to give one of her presentations! They did not include her in the next meeting.

  • 13 years ago

    My DD got into one of those multi-level marketing gigs (I didn't know and would not have advised her to do so) and she said that the leader-person above her-is relentless in trying to get her to up her sales, buy more stock, and even put in $15 toward a gift for the regional director-whom DD has never met.

    The new 'consultants' are sold a bill of goods and are pushed to network with every one they meet and now I think that they enter people's email addresses and the home corp sends out automated emails for them.

    I'd just delete the emails and not even bother to respond. If asked in person, just say 'thanks, but I'm not interested'.

  • 13 years ago

    I would not feel obligated to respond to her Evites. And I would set up a filter in my e-mail account so they go directly into the trash.

  • 13 years ago

    I agree with gray wings. I do not go to those parties either...any of them.

  • 13 years ago

    What gray wings said.

  • 13 years ago

    Thanks for all the great advice. I didn't realize the corporate headquarters might be sending those invitations on her behalf. I agree that she is probably under tremendous pressure, so is sending to everyone she has ever met.

  • 13 years ago

    I stopped contact with someone over something similar. It was a new product line; person was pushing it on their FB; they also made a page for "the business". She was sending mass FB messages. I told her I do not use anything like that period.

    How did this person get your email address?

  • 13 years ago

    I am sure that all of these pyramid selling schemes tell people to "sell to your friends". They probably also tell them to join clubs and organizations to find prospects.

    As someone who volunteers for a lot, is on two different PTA type bodies, two boards, and both cooking and book clubs, i constantly come across people abusing email lists to sell me krap.

    For my part, I take the time to send group emails with everyone in the "BCC" line, and ask others to do likewise. That also reduced the number of inane "reply alls".

  • 13 years ago

    I agree mtnrredux, people should use the BCC line more, or else your address is just out there to be captured by hundreds more people.

  • 13 years ago

    She got my email address from our Book Club listing since that is how we communicate about meeting dates, etc.

  • 13 years ago

    I've been toying with selling a certain line of handbags for awhile now. And yes, they are marketed primarily through home parties and emails. I actually signed up to be a "stylist", paid a small initiation fee and set up my credit card for automatic drafts for the nominal monthly fee required to maintain a website. In doing so, I was able to get several of the bags at a deep discount (these are intended to be used as part of the stylist's showcase). I've not gone forward with setting up my own website or promoting the business though, even though at first it seemed like a great opportunity and I really thought I could give it a go. I have a friend who does this and she brings in a bit of extra income and seems to really enjoy what she does. After give this a lot of thought and reading this thread, I have cancelled my stylist membership and won't be trying to shove handbags at my friends, family and acquaintances. ;-) I think it takes a certain kind of person to successfully sell product in the home party structure -- and I'm not that kind of person. But hey, I've got some really cute handbags to enjoy for myself now.

  • 13 years ago

    She probably doesn't even know who she's sending to every week! E-mail back and politely ask to be removed from her mailing list. If she's building a clientele she'll be ok with it and will want people that are inclined to buy her products anyway.
    I've had to do it several times.

  • 13 years ago

    I would complain to whoever started the book club; the email addy's should not be used like this. Depending on how the email was sent; I would be replying to her telling her to take me off of her list & if she did not BCC; she would be hearing from me about my email address being given out to everyone on her list. I may also tell her that she should learn how to run a business because most people do not like being hounded the way she did it. I'd filter it straight to the trash.

    One of my neighbors does Scentsy. She has a FB profile set up for her business; she communicates on her profile letting customers know about sales or parties. She has never forced her products on anyone.

  • 13 years ago

    About 15 yrs ago, my petsitter was into selling these candle things. Can't for the life of me remember the name of the line, but she was in a tight financial spot and asked if I would host a party for her. I did, since I would go to the mat for my petsitter. What a mistake. I would never do it again, not even for my own mother.

    I hate the pressure of these "home/book" parties. The book parties are becoming more common. With the book party, the seller can target their coworkers as well as their own friends and family. Ugh.

    Whenever I have been invited to either attend, or buy from a book, I am honest with the person and politely decline. At this point, most of my friends and family know that I don't attend these things and I am not interested in buying things that I don't have a use for.

    Be honest, decline and ask to be taken off of the invitation mailing list.

  • 13 years ago

    workinprogress, I think you're talking about Partylite !
    I also had one of those home parties, it was really popular 15 years ago.

    I must say though that their votives were excellent, I still buy some directly from the salesperson, I told her I wanted no part in having a party, just sell me the goods directly.

  • 13 years ago

    thanks mitchdesj- that is the name of the product. The party I hosted was a fall/winter party, and many guests purchased items as gifts for the holidays.

    The whole exercise of inviting friends and family with expectation of their buying something that they may or may not need just made me uncomfortable. Yes, I was trying to give my petsitter, who was in a financial bind (single mom of 2 teenage boys), a hand with earning some extra money. She is a teacher by day, Sadly, in our area, teachers usually don't get rich on their salaries. Far from it.

    Yes, purchasing items from one of these "party" outfits on a per diem basis online is how I have handled buying when I need an item for the home or a gift. Much less pressure than hosting or attending an all out "party".

  • 13 years ago

    There was a time about 5 years ago when I was getting hit with Cabi (clothing line) invitations by at least 4-5 different friends each season. I went to a few of them as I did like the clothes, but they were overpriced. Then, my neighbor, who was hosting these parties every season, starting complaining to me about certain people who would come to her parties but never buy anything, that they were only there to eat and socialize. That really ticked me off b/c....the more people buy at these parties (at full price) the more items the host gets at a discount. So yes, while my neighbor was supplying the venue and some appetizers and drinks, she was getting huge discounts on the clothing that all of her friends were having to pay full price for. Of course, that's typically how all these home parties work, but it just annoyed me that I was getting pressured to buy things so that SHE could get all these new clothes for much less than the rest of us. Though I bought several things that I liked, I bought a few things that I ended up regretting and never wore and had no way to return, so that was it for me. My other friends stopped inviting me as I wasn't going, but my neighbor continued to invite me. After going once or twice and not buying anything, then listening to her complain about other neighbors just coming to socialize, I stopped going. And it seems that Cabi parties aren't popular anymore - thankfully!

    However, now I get invited to all kinds of other parties (jewelry, purses, cooking gadgets, etc), some from mere acquaintances who I'm sure just scroll through their email address book and add absolutely anyone they think may have a remote chance of coming. I don't even bother responding anymore and I don't feel one iota of guilt.

  • 13 years ago

    I would love to hear from someone who is actually successful at doing these parties. It seems to be that once you have gone through your actual friends, your neighbors, your coworkers, which could be let's say three separate parties, what would you do from there?
    I can see hosting one party for a good gift you receive in return. I went to one where the host got a wrought iron fireplace screen that she wanted as her payment for
    hosting.

  • 13 years ago

    Ellendi, do you mean the salesperson or the people hosting the party?

    The salespeople count on meeting someone at the party who would be willing to host a party of her own, with her own set of friends/coworkers/relatives. IOW, if I go to my neighbor's party and the sales rep thinks I may want to host a party, then I would invite people outside of that circle of people who went to the original party.

    As for the hostess, the items being sold change all the time. In my neighbor's case, the clothes change each season, so if she hosts a party each season, people are buying different clothes each time.

    There is a woman who lives in my area who started selling with "Slumber Parties" when it first started (sex toys, all kinds of lotions and massage items, etc). In the process, she recruited many people to sell as well, and she earned a percentage of the profit of every person she brought in. Because she started early on, she ended up being their top seller - she was on Oprah and GMA - and at one point, I heard she was earning upwards of $200K per year. I've never met her personally, but my neighbor's kids are good friends of her kids (they are now teens but at the time, were in their early elementary school years). Blew my mind that someone could make that much money hosting parties for sex toys but it was gimmicky and "fun" I suppose for women to go to these parties and see all the things being sold (lots of laughing). I have no idea if the company still exists and if she still works for them, but for years, she was making a pretty good living from it!

  • 13 years ago

    Thanks four kids. Yes I meant the salesperson.

  • 13 years ago

    WWID? I would consider it exactly like I do when someone knocks on my door trying to sell or convert me. I ignore them without guilt. I don't care who comes to my door uninvited, unexpectedly. I don't answer and figure it's their problem, even if they see me inside. Same with unsolicited invites to parties I have no interest in. Delete is the same as an unanswered door to me. My home, my life. No obligation.

  • 13 years ago

    I remember a friend I started socializing with, our boys were in the same Gymborree class when they were really young, and after about a year she started selling something, and I went from answering her phone calls all the time to ignoring her calls. It can definately change a friend into a business relationship.

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