First I like to start with a theme I like. Then my ideas are more focused. My daughter loves frogs and the color green, so that was the theme of her baby shower.

So for a birthday/baby combo party, how about "The Princess and the Pea" theme? 2pm works nice for an "afternoon tea" theme, but with men joining, you may want to serve something more substantial than finger sandwiches.

I would just give one party. As a guest, I would find it confusing, and perhaps even a little off-putting -- am I supposed to buy TWO gifts for the same person the same day? You don't want it to look like you are trying for double "haul" out of one party, especially because it is your own child. Sorry to be a wet blanket -- but you are going to go to a lot of trouble and expense for this party. Don't take a chance of alienating your guests.

I would make it a shower, not a birthday party. Actually, moms aren't supposed to give their own children showers, but I would actually find that less strange than a parent giving her adult child a birthday party (unless it were a major birthday, like 40 or 50) -- especially on the same day you are giving her a shower. You can still have a birthday cake with candles.

There is no reason men can't be invited to a shower. Trust the men in your life to be grown up. It won't hurt them to watch gifts being opened. Was that the reason for the double party idea?

I would word the invitation just as for any baby shower, with no mention of the birthday and no mention of any registry. Serve whatever food suits your crowd and the time of day you want to have it -- I can't really make suggestions without knowing time of day or size and perhaps age of guests.

I am glad that gellchom said first what I was thinking.
I would be very put off by the mother of a young woman hosting 2 events for which gifts are expected in one day...for her own daughter....It really really looks like you are trolling for gifts.
If your daughter and her friends are teens, it's a little more understandable, but if she is an adult with a home of her own, I would say ask a friend to do a shower for her and give her a lovely get together with her friends for her birthday...
Linda C

Thanks to you all! Gellchom - I do agree with some of your thoughts - thanks for reminding me of some long unused etiquette. I'm giving the shower with some of my daughter's friends but because I have the house and more money I've probably spoiled them by doing everything. And I really just wanted to combine her birthday into the time after the baby shower and with the men involved and wasn't planning on gifts for her BD. I will take all of your advice and appreciate it very much!