Holiday scheduling.

11 years ago

Am I justified?

I invited my entire family including extended family on all sides of multiple divorces to my house for Christmas Day and dinner. I figured many family members would want to experience the joy with my three year old child. While some cannot make it and others would rather not attend because of uncomfortable divorces, many folks will be here. My mother decided she would host my siblings at her home instead of coming to mine. In discussing with her we came to the conclusion that her and her new husband could visit my home the weekend before Christmas for a low key weekend and she could still see her only grandchild. I just found our that she extended that invite to many folks not coming to my house on the 25th, and only those she gets along with. She "figured" I wanted house guests (probably 12 more of them) Am I justified in telling her absolutely no, she was the only one invited on that weekend? I want holidays to just be merry.

When I told her she was the only one invited she spun this into I do not want my siblings, and crew, to go to her house for the 25th and I am just being nasty.

Side note, nearly all guests would stay overnight because of distances traveled.

How would you handle, Thoughts?

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Comments (5)

nancylouise5me
11 years ago
Wellll, since she has already invited them all it would be a bit of "not in the Christmas Spirit" to uninvite them. I would just bite the bullet and have them over. Don't want to create hard feelings during the season. As you said, you want a Merry Christmas. But I would talk to her and let her know how you feel in a nice way if possible. She should not have invited all those extra guests. It wasn't her place to do so. Let her know that you wanted just her to enjoy a quite family Christmas with her grandchild. Let it go at that. Don't let this ruin your Christmas Spirit. Go and have a great time with family and friends anyway! NancyLouise
party_music50
11 years ago
rjexit5, I would handle it the way you did... and if I didn't want to deal with the hassle of those people in my house, I'd make her fix it! (she must make her apology calls to un-invite people). She was the only person you invited for the weekend before xmas and it's not her place to invite anyone else to your home -- especially when you're already preparing for a house full of guests the following weekend! She should be apologizing to you and the people she invited to your home and she should do this immediately. She should make it clear that it was HER error in extending the invitation.... don't let her make you out to be the bad guy!
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tripletmom83
11 years ago
I wholeheartedly agree with party music. There is a saying that you teach people how to treat you, and I think this is one of those teachable moments. I would think that those people that your mother invited would be questioning that invitation, as it did not come directly from you. Did they not call you and ask?
rjexit5
Original Author
11 years ago
So I called one of my bothers that I know my mother invited, goal was to feel it out and be sure there was no bad feelings. Glad I made the call. My mother explained he was no longer invited, yup, he thought I was mad. I explained and he was glad I called. No hurt feelings now. Kind of sad that my mother actually pulled this stunt. No clue why she did it and now made it more than her simple error.

Triplet mom, I am guessing I would have started to receive calls this week but I beat them by telling my mom to fix the problem

Party music, thanks for your comments. I honestly was feeling bad for not just going along with it. This type of thing has happened in the past with my mother, I have just gone along with it, but this time was different I guess.
party_music50
11 years ago
rjexit5, I think it's a 'mother' thing. ;^) Glad you got it worked out!