As an educator and a parent, I personally think it is beneficial to wait. I think children seem to be more successful when they go through school as one of the older kiddoes in a class. Since she is already being stimulated, I think kindergarten can wait. Very cool that she will have two languages-this is the best time for that (when she is very young)! Of course, enfin, it is her parents' decision and I imagine they will make the best decision.

Here are a few questions:

(1) How long a day is Kindergarten?

(2) How is the day structured? Is the focus more academic (in the formal sense) vs. play-based? In other words, how long will she spend sitting at a table doing seatwork or sitting on a rug listening, vs. participating in hands-on activities?

(3) Has your DD observed at the school? When your GD is closer to entering, is she allowed to spend time in the school beforehand?

.

This post was edited by anele on Fri, May 3, 13 at 12:32

I live in a state that allows four year olds to enter kindergarten and my town is full day. Our cut off is Jan1 while most states are before oct. My DD is a late November birthday and I held her til she was 53/4 and she is doing so well. There is a boy who has her same birthday but a year later and he is lost:(. I, as a former teacher and as a mom, so often her people say they wish they had waited with their fall babies but I have never heard anyone say " I wish I had sent my child earlier" :).

I also worried that my DD would be in cars when she was still only 15 for her class peers would be 16 and 17 already. She would also attend college away from home when only 17 years old. Our prek teacher actually told me we should send her because at 41/2 she was reading well and they said she was ready for kindergarten but I had no way of knowing if she would be ready for college at 17 so I choose to wait more for what the future problems might be later.

I am from Toronto, and our education system is similar to that of Montreal, except we are even three months earlier. Our cutoff age date is December 31st, where yours is September 30th. So our youngest children in each grade are three months younger than those in Montreal. Twenty five years ago, my niece was born on Dec. 31st, so like your granddaughter, she would always be the very youngest child in her grade. My sister decided to hold her back a year. However, unlike your granddaughter, my niece was very slow to speak, and still had limited language skills by age three. So it was a no brainer to hold her back and give her the benefit of that extra year at home.

By age 5, my niece's language skills had caught up, but as she was already in the middle of Junior Kindergarten, they obviously didn't pull her out and place her in Senior Kindergarten at that point, since she had made good friends in her class. She was always tall for her age and quite mature, so my sister definitely would not have held her back merely because of her calendar age, had she not been so behind in verbal schools when the decision had to be made.

Perhaps your granddaughter will be fine to start on time, despite being the youngest, if she is emotionally ready and not immature for her age.Two of my own children were the youngest in their grade and always did well academically and emotionally. Admittedly, it's such an individual assessment to try and guess how those younger children will do amongst older peers. Perhaps your daughter will get an even better feeling about what to do, once her child has been in French Immersion daycare for a while.

Here in Toronto we are now phasing into all day Kindergarten for both Junior and Senior Kindergarten, with all schools to be on board by 2014. I work in the Before/After School Daycare in an elementary school, and some of the little ones in Junior Kindergarten won't be 4 until the end of December, which seems so young to be going to school all day.

Does Montreal have full day Junior and Senior Kindergarten? Even if your granddaughter is not lagging in communication skills (and it sounds like she's not), that might definitely factor into how early your daughter will want her child away at school for a whole day.

i agonized what to do with 2 of my kids because they were so close to the cutoff too--- i ended up holding both of them, even though they were very different kids!

i can tell you that academically, i should have sent them-- socially i was glad i held them!! that was very definitely the case when they were in highschool and driving, sex, and partying came into the mix... there's lots going on in high school and i was just happy that my kids were older rather than younger--- i don't know if it would have affected them any differently, but i was happier knowing they were a year older...

She will probably be fine to start this year. But I honestly have never seen a downside to waiting a year. Waiting a year gives her an excellent chance of being at the top of her class on so many levels -why not give your child that advantage?

And since I know have a DD with just one more year of high school, and then she'll be off to who knows where... I'm all for one more year at home!

I agree with busybee and roaroah. Rather than think so much about kindergarten, I'd rather think about those dating/driving years. Do the parents want her to be one of the last to drive or youngest to date?

Better to play it safe than sorry. As I said in the other topic, there is a big difference in maturity including social and academic, between kids who are 1 to 11.9 months apart in age.

Our cut-off date is Sept. 1st. I was born in late August, and while I excelled in reading, it took a lot of help from my parents where it came to math and science. My friends who were months older than me were just breezing through school. It was embarrassing.

But back then parents simply didn't hold a child back because of the stigma it had. Now it's one of the smartest things to do!

Both my grands were born in September, and I'm so glad they'll be the oldest in their class. Before their births, we were sweatin' it. lol

My son was born at the end of November and he has a cousin who was born exactly one month later. Our cut-off is the end of December.

Socially our son was more than ready and we did send him to kindergarten. He had already had 2 years of pre-school (but in hindsite I would not have sent him to preschool for the first year) and so we weren't concerned. We knew we might be faced with some maturity issues along the way and we were. His friends matured a little bit quicker and we would work with him to give him opportunities to catch up. Academically he did have issues with reading - but those issues would have happened regardless. No amount of my reading to him was going to help but he had no issues with math or sharing or friendships.

My nephew, on the other hand, should have been held back. He simply wasn't ready for school and it hampered him for years. He wasn't socially ready. They are both 25 now and fine young men but my nephew is still a little lost in terms of what he wants to do with his life even though he works hard.. Would that have happened regardless - it's so hard to know.

The only thing that irritated my son is that when he went to college he couldn't go downtown on Halloween to the clubs because he wasn't old enough. Drinking age here is 19 and so for his first two years he was left out of that celebration. As all of his friends were turning 19 it was the same thing. But he got through it.

I just wanted to quickly add that when my son went into kindergarten he was the only one in the class who could read a non-digital clock face and the only one who could tie real shoelaces - velcro was big in those days.

And as he got further along in school and then into high school we were glad he wasn't in the class a year behind him. He had a great class with a great group of friends - the year behind him were a class of hellions. Just the luck of the draw.

My oldest niece was born early on Nov 30 in NY state where the cutoff was Dec 1. My sister said she arrived two weeks early because she knew she wanted to go to school, LOL. She did fine, and she probably would have driven everyone crazy if she were not in kindergarten. She is now in her mid 30's and has a masters degree and is a Registered Dietician.

Her youngest brother was born Nov 1. He also started school at 4. He was very bright, could read and do other skills, though he was the smallest boy. His nickname is still "Smalls" although he is about 6' tall right now as an adult. He played lots of sports (baseball, soccer, tennis) but not football because he was too small. Interesting he was in a grade school class where there weren't a lot of boys. He graduated college just fine and works as an accountant.

On the topic of it mattering later . . .

I have an August birthday. Cutoff was Sept. I skipped 4th grade, so I was 1-2 yrs younger than my classmates by 5th grade.

I would say the middle school years were a little uncomfortable for me (and maybe they are for everyone?), but by high school, I felt fine being younger again. I never really thought about it, other than having to skip the driving part in driver's ed.

I have two kids with late summer birthdays, one male and one female. I wish I had held both of them a year. They were/are always the youngest in their class and it caused a lot of problems academically and socially for my son and socially for my daughter. All her friends are now driving and she is the only one who can't. That may not sound like a big deal, but it is.

Thanks everyone for all the feedback.
Interesting to read all the different reasons to hold them back and many that I had never thought about.
Here we do not have junior kindergarten. We only have 5 year old and it is a full day.
I realize we have a few more years to make this decision but it is always nice
To get as much info before hand as we can.
I guess when she is 4 , my daughter will have to meet with the school and see what they think also.
Funny how being a grandma , I now have more time to look at all these things while parents today are so busy.

I think it all depends on the child. My birthday was 3 weeks after the local deadline, so my parents sent me to private school. I wanted to go, was on the verge of reading, and my last neighborhood friend went the year before. I had been a preemie, but there were no noticeable delays by the time school rolled around. I think that if I had been a boy, my parents might have waited, particularly if I were small for my age.

We waited to send my daughter (now 16) she was 5 in Nov cutoff was in Dec. She was very petite and shy and we didn't have to think too hard about it. I have never regretted that decision. She is still a shy girl and does very well in school, but I think socially it was really important that she was older. She sure liked getting her permit before all her friends :-)

I forgot to mention that at the Honors thesis student presentations a couple of weeks ago a student had analyzed with a her Business professor a national dataset and the concept of "academic redshirting" as they called it. It turns out there was no difference in attainment of a Bachelors degree based on what age a student started school.

I taught Kindergarten for 22 years. In the states I taught, the cutoff was Sept. 1st. For a number of years, Florida kept moving up the starting date each year for school, mostly to give graduating seniors an opportunity to finish early enough to start summer sessions in college. For a couple of years, we actually started at the end of July! Anyway, that made those youngest children 4 years 10 months or so. One year I had three children who turned 5 on Aug. 31st. One little boy was the youngest of 4 boys in the family and he was a mid life child - very babied by the family and immature. I ended up holding him back at the end of kindergarten and he struggled throughout his school career - actually identified as ESE in 2nd grade. Another boy was an average child - didn't have any real problems and progressed normally. I doubt holding him back till the next year would have helped. He probably wouldn't have gone to a preschool if he hadn't started kindergarten that year - he was cared for by his grandmother prior to starting school. The little girl was very advanced - identified as Gifted by Dec of that school year. She stood out immediately - she was being raised by her grandmother and grandfather. BTW, she graduated from High School with her AA degree as well. Attended the Collegiate High School here.
So the answer you are looking for isn't simple to give. Maturity has more to do with holding the child back than anything else for me. If the child has had positive experiences in preschool and has support at home, I'd say let her go. Not every child can be at the top of the class and that should not be the reason to hold the child back. I'm not saying that is your case but I have had parents fearful that if their child isn't the top 1 or 2 each year, then he/she won't get into the best college or get the most scholarships. That's way too much pressure for both the child and the parents. It sounds as though your granddaugther will have many advantages anyway. If she starts and there is a problem, then make the decision to have her leave and come back the next year. I would say in general, boys have a more difficult time if they start when 4 then girls do. Some parents decide to hold boys back so that they have a size advantage for sports. I don't agree with that reasoning but I know it happens. If a parents holds the child back, then the child should be in a good preschool program to help them learn to be more independent and socialize them. Keeping them at home another year during the day isn't the answer.

"Not every child can be at the top of the class and that should not be the reason to hold the child back."

That is absolutely true. Many parents won't admit this, even to themselves, but in my experience its the most common real reason parents hold their children back.

Readiness----not age--- is the best reason to start school.

I would also contact the school and speak with the teacher and/or principal and find out what most of the other parents do when faced with the same issue. This should not be the deciding factor but it would be helpful to find out what the ages will be of the other students in her class.

2 of my 3 kids were faced with this - but in different ways.

We had just moved to this town and I enrolled my son in Kindergarten. His birthday was toward the end of August and the cut off was October 1. At the first Open House the Kindergarten teacher had arranged the student's self portraits on the wall by birthday. I was surprised to discover my son was the youngest and that his best friend in class was almost 16 months older. Academically my son did beautifully all through school - age was not a factor. However he matured physically a little later than other kids and I know how much it bothered him when he was seldom picked for the 1st team in sports. It wasn't until high school that he physically caught up with his classmates - by then many of them were already on elite teams. And he was almost the last to get his driver's license. I do wish we had held him back

My DD on the other has an early May birthday. I didn't worry at all about signing her up for Kindergarten. Well - she had the same teacher as her brother. We went to the Open House, saw the self portraits on the board and she was the next to the youngest kid in her class. And she was 4 months older than her brother and 5 months before the Oct 1 cut-off.

As I learned from the teacher so many parents in our town wanted to give their kid every possible advantage that a greater number of them were holding their kids back a year. At one time it was primarily boys who were held back, but it then became more common for both genders. This can cause some difficulties so just be aware of it. My DD was fine for her class - academically, socially and physically.

Two of my closest friends taught Kindergarten and they each had two sons. They held their boys back.

Both of our children have "late" birthdays - one at the end of September and one on Christmas. Our state's cut-off date is January 1st and we did not hold either of them back a year and they did very well. As a former teacher, I saw parents agonize over this decision. In the end, there is no steadfast formula that can be applied as to whether or not you should send a child "early" . Each child should be evaluated according to his or her own social and academic capabilities. Also, it's important to remember that if you do make the decision to hold a child back, they can never be advanced, but if a child is sent early and it turns out that extra time is needed, there is still an option to hold them back.

Does anyone remember the research on 'summer children' from about 30yrs ago? I don't remember the sources of the articles I read, and can't find any US studies, but I've linked a couple of reports from the UK.

I held my two eldest back a year because of late summer birthdays, and the fact that I was a SAHM; they had never been in daycare. They did very well in school, one graduating with honors, one with high honors. But the thing I noticed about my son (the eldest) was that he was ready to move on by the beginning of his senior year. He went to school every day, did his work, and was the same great kid, but he had hit a level of maturity, and it was as if he was just marking time.

My third child has a spring BD, and I sent her to school in the fall when she was 5. She had been dragged to school activities with the two older kids, was comfortable in the school setting, and was the most social of the three. She also graduated with high honors--was salutatorian, so academically, she did very well, too.

My nephew, whose birthday is in September, was sent to school when he was 5, because his mother felt that he was ready socially. He was held back a year before being promoted to first grade.

Summer born children...TheTelegraph

Edited to correct link. (I give up--for TheTelegraph link, google 'summer children education' and scroll down.)

Here is a link that might be useful: Summer-born children...theguardian

This post was edited by mama_goose on Mon, May 6, 13 at 1:48