The nice thing to do is to tell her the story and ask her if she wants it. The nice thing for HER to do would then be to insist he keeps it and do with is as he pleases.

I would tell her the story and ask what she wants to do. Otherwise, I think it's taking advantage of her ignorance. And is a bit "tricky".

This post was edited by snookums2 on Fri, Jun 7, 13 at 23:55

I donâÂÂt know, thatâÂÂs a tricky one because the pack was left for dead.

It's officially garbage, so open to anyone taking it. Equivalent to dumpster diving. The son gets it, however, pure pragmatism says he should keep his mouth shut about what he does with the new one.

I definitely agree about keeping his mouth shut. However, I suppose the most honorable thing to do is tell the GF. Although, jeez, he saved it from ending up in the trash stream (presuming it is repaired), so he gets props for that. IDK.

Son keeps it and does what he wants with it. She obviously didn't want it and it appears she wouldn't want to have bothered with it anyway.

She doesn't need to know it was retrieved-she purposely discarded it. If it had been a matter of her leaving it behind in the closet, that would be a completely different scenario.

Not. Let your son have the money with nothing more said. She threw it away because it was garbage to her. Some people's garbage is another person's treasure. It is his, 100%.

I think the important issue here is that this is a *family* situation. If the likelihood was that there would be no further contact between the players in the scenario, I'd concur with the finders keepers/never mention it again option.

However, in this case I agree with those who advise telling the person about it and asking what she wants to do. Hopefully (and probably) she will say that he should take it and do whatever he wishes with the backpack. But this way there is never the possibility of anyone becoming irritated or upset by finding out later and possibly taking offense.

She trashed it, he recuperated it...it's his to do what he wants with. A lesson for her that one should think about recycling and reusing in this disposable society, and reward his creativity and ingenuity in creating this opportunity for earning some money. I wouldn't try to keep it a secret though as it won't stay one, but may come out in anger in an inappropriate way in the future. Better to get out front and control that message.

I agree 100% with mtnrdredux. This is family, so no secrets or sneaking. Have your son call the GF and say, "I found your old backpack in the trash and had the company replace/repair it. I've recieved a new backpack. What would you like to do with it?" Her polite response will be, "oh, keep it, I threw it out." If she asks for it to be returned, then arrange for her to pay for shipping. :) A backpack is not a good reason to start a family rift!

Like Mtn. said, because it's family your son needs to inform the girlfriend of the situation. If not, both of you will have a guilty conscience or you wouldn't be asking us what to do.

It's a good life lesson to teach your son. I still feel guilty for getting too much change back when I was about 15 and I didn't say anything. lol.

I am still leaning toward the dumpster diver point of view. Even if she were to find out, it would not cause a rift. I just don't see anything sneaky about claiming something from the trash, especially when the previous owner is now on a plane to the other side of the continent.

I asked because I was curious to hear other people take on this, not out of guilt. I mean, if he had found her diamond ring on the floor and kept it, then I would feel guilty for not telling her (and he would have returned that for sure), but not a backpack in the trash.

BTW, my son is 40, not a kid, and my brother's GF is the same age. If something were to cause a family feud it would not be a backpack from the trash. We are just not the feuding kind of family anyway. I can't ever remember anyone in my immediate family being angry with one another. My cousins haven't spoken to each other in years, which I think is horribly sad.

Thanks for your thoughts, all interesting.

Yes butâ¦you are all assuming that the girlfriend is reasonable so this is not a one size fit all where girlfriend should be told.
Girl left the pack for dead and it was rescued by another. End of story. If anything I would do what Annie said to have some control of the outcome. Otherwise you could run into a not good scenario.

Son finds pack in garbage. Son spends time researching replacement parts, spends a small bit of money and time on this rescue project. Gives the pack a new life.
He tells the girlfriend (who may or may not be reasonable).

She says: oh how nice, thank you! Can you hold it for me until it can be retrieved?
Son: Errr, well you threw it away so after all the work I was planning on keeping it.
Girlfriend: YouâÂÂre keeping my backpack?
Son: I didnâÂÂt think you wanted it because you threw it in the trash.
Girlfriend: I didnâÂÂt know it could be fixed.
Son: yes it could and has been fixed after much time on my part.
Girlfriend: Like I said thank you very much for fixing MY backpack.

End of story because it ends on a bad note.

This post was edited by jterrilynn on Sat, Jun 8, 13 at 9:07

Any idea on how much the backpack was?
There is a difference between a $50 backpack & a $200+ Juicy backpack. If she threw out a Juicy bag; she's a fool.

It really is up to your son. He can either keep it or say; did you know that you can send the backpack back to have the zipper replaced? Possible she can't be bothered. The manufacturer can mail it directly to her

This post was edited by roselvr on Sat, Jun 8, 13 at 10:01

How's this scenario:

YOU contact GF and ask her if she is aware that the backpack she threw in the trash could be repaired/replaced by the company and does she still want it? If so you will ship it to her collect so she can make the claim. Chances are she doesn't want to be bothered so your son can then have it to do what he wants. Next time you see her you or your son can tell her what he did with it. If he has sold it he could give her part of the selling price keeping a 'finder's fee/payment for work' plus his half. She should be thrilled to have something for the nothing she did.

I would have it replaced and send to the GF as a gift, explaining what happened. It's a bonus if she expresses gratitude, but either way I know I did something that made me feel good.

That's WIWD.

I am certainly tainted in my opinion due to an unreasonable neighbor. If I found something in his trash right before the big pick-up, letâÂÂs say an old table or something and I went to HomeD and spent $50.00 on supplies and two weeks repairing and refinishingâ¦he would not only want the table back he would want me to lug it back into his house. To take the joy out of giving it back to him he would complain about the color I refinished it in because it didnâÂÂt match his interiors. He would then ask me to do it all over at my own expense And look around for a center piece to go with his stuff. He would do this all in a manner that made me feel obligated because after all I did take it out of the trash and he didnâÂÂt want me too and now He had to deal with the table being there again. And no, he would not suggest I keep it. It would be my fault for even looking at the trashed table. Sometimes people are kooky about things.

lol, Kelly. Perfect. What a great idea. I would hope I would have thought of the same.

This post was edited by snookums2 on Sat, Jun 8, 13 at 11:50

How old is your son?

I have a different take on it. If she needed a backpack for travel, then she needed a functioning backpack, not one with a broken zipper.

If it were me, if I already bought a different backpack, I'd say just to keep it because that other person went through the hassle of getting it repaired. I'd be a little mad at myself for not investigating it, but I'd let it go.

The diamond ring analogy doesn't fit. It's not that she lost it and couldn't find it...it's that she purposely disposed of it no longer seeing a value in it.

Legally, if something is trashed, it is in the public domain and free to take.

My DH and I walk the neighborhood frequently for exercise and we bring a plastic bag with us to pick up cans with nickel deposits on them. (We have to pay for our new house some how!) I would never dream of trying to track down the litterer and say, did you know this can is worth a nickel and would you like it back? Or telling him that I cashed it in for the nickel and here's your money. Nope...in the public domain and free for the taking.

if this happened in my family, and it could easily do so, I would let my son get it fixed and keep it. The next time I was talking to my brother I would say "oh by the way...." and he would be good with the initiative that his young nephew took on getting the backpack fixed.

Fixing it and then sending it back to the GF as a gift - would definitely not happen in my family. Not that we're mean or anything but just wouldn't happen.

If the girlfriend had accidentally left something inside it, like a roll of cash, for example, and your son found it, of course he should return that to her.

But she made a conscious, deliberate decision to discard the backpack.
That made it anyone's for the taking.

He can offer to give it to her, he can keep it, he can sell it, whatever.
It's his now.

if it were me, i would call the company for the replacement backpack and then send her the new one with a note! (or have the company send it to her address- that way i wouldn't have to pay shipping!!)
i would feel really weird (esp as an adult!!) taking it and keeping it or trying to sell it--- i don't think it would be wrong for him to keep it, but i do think it would be an odd thing to do unless he really, really needed the $...

Okay, the company said they cannot fix or replace the bag because they no longer make it. So, they will send a gift card for the amount it cost, about $100.

Somehow because it is now the same as cash,and not a "thing", my son decided to send the card to her. It will be interesting to see her response. She really is a nice person, as is my son.

Well that is so nice! Yes I think the $100 would be awkward to keep. I hope that nice girl learns a little lesson as well about just tossing an expensive item like that. There is always someone who could use it so itâÂÂs kind of wasteful.

Even if your son was a child, which he is not, he could have called the GF to say he found her bag in the trash, and did she mind if he kept it -no need to say anymore. However, I agree with those who feel trashing an item relinquishes ownership. Period. No need to communicate over a dead issue. Even more so since we are talking about 40 yo adults. If I bought a new purse and threw my old one out in a friend's trash, if someone rescued it, whether it needed repair or not, why would they owe me anything? Glad your son is resourceful, sorry the GF sound's like she is not, so much.

well, since it's now $ that we're talking about rather than a bag the gf owned, i would hope that she would buy your son a gift as a TY (if the co also sells men's styles) with at least some-if not all- of the $... i would if i were her...

I don't think finder's keepers applies to friends and family.

I don't blame him for fishing it out to salvage an otherwise good bag but she didn't know there was a product guarantee. If he had just fixed the zipper himself, I think it would be different than a warranty repair/replacement. If it were a public trash can, that would be a different story.

Now the odd situation is in her court with a gift card, lol.

Son took her shopping. She had no interest in attempting to get the bag replaced. Why do I sort of think most likely he already suggested it to her? I say the bag was his to claim and what happened after that is no ones business.

I agree with Annie, she pretty much said what I was thinking. Surely GF knew it could/would be repaired or replaced and chose not to bother. Under the circumstances, I don't think you owe her any kind of a call to discuss what she wants.

BTW, touche' to your DS for his tenacity to get it fixed and sell it; he deserves whatever he can get for it.

I agree with you dedtired, now it's cash, and she'll think it's super sweet that he sends it to her, I'm sure she'll make it up to him somehow.

Just reading through this, one line popped out at me - finders keepers does not apply to family or friends.

I agree. I have a huge extended family (DH had 9 siblings), a smaller of my own and I cannot imagine trying to profit from anyone whether related or friend I'm close to. We share, we gift, we trade a whole lot of favors...and it all works out in the long run. If in 10 yrs she is still in the family picture, what won't come up over drinks one night is 'remember when xxx had my broken backpack replaced and sold it', it will be 'remember what a nice thing he did for me, how lucky I am for such great people in my life' :)

If the back pack had been replaced or repaired under warranty, it would have gone from here to her. Now that its a credit, of course it goes to her, just doesn't have to be packaged. Maybe they will take son to dinner next time they visit...everyone wins.

Also, what I may have done with a broken or damaged article on a trip where I was packing for a flight back, is not necessarily what I would have done with it if it had it failed when conveniently at home - I may have tossed it too as a loss not timely to deal with.