No. That doesn't sound nuts to me but we lead a simple life and don't spend money we don't have. I'd declare the vacation an early celebration and call it a day.

Congrats and happy birthday in advance!

Not in the least. Plan to make a special dinner at home one night over the weekend and enjoy your low key celebration. If you feel like doing something 'bigger' for your 21st, plan it now. No reason it has to be the 0 or 5 years that get all the attention!

I'd be feeling the same way, sister. Maybe get a bottle of champagne or whatever feels festive to you to toast your 20 years.

It's not like we don't have the money. We have plenty in savings and we hardly ever go away. It's just that we have 5 kids and plenty to do. It's leaving me feeling very unromantic! LOL

I think you should subtly find out if your husband really wants to do this or is just suggesting it because he thinks you want to do it. If he really wants to, I think you should do it. What man wants to be told that his wife would rather catch up on her projects than spend romantic time with him?

On the other hand, he might be relieved that you don't expect any big deal.

I say celebrate your marriage. You'll enjoy the B&B, and time alone with one's spouse is always renewing. You & DH will have a happy memory of the occasion. A couple of days away shouldn't set you too far back with your projects. Thank goodness you have a husband who still wants to spend special time with you!

I got back from a very long vacation w/ my spouse recently. When I got back, the housework was piled up, the pantry was empty (we have sons living at home still), and the paperwork was in urgent need of attention. Still, I'm glad we took the time together. DH & I had great fun, an adventure even, and we feel so close now. It was worth it.

I say, have a great meal and a glass o' bubbly that weekend and try to get away for a few days in a month or two, when you're feeling less harried. Get some things done in the meantime and enjoy the anticipation of a romantic escape sometime in the near future. The fact that you say you're not feeling particularly romantic is exactly why you do need a couple of days of alone time.

I agree with Amy -- Put off the trip to the B&B until later in the year, after you've had a chance to take a breather from your recent trip. Congratulations on your anniversary and your birthday, and count your blessings to have a guy that's romantic enough to even suggest a B&B getaway!
;-)

I agree with ideefixe. Especially since this is a milestone, 20, your husband might want to do something special and you should honor that even though it's not the ideal time. If you find out he really doesn't care that much then no harm done. But make sure how he feels before you decide.

I will say that I completely understand your not wanting to go though. But sometimes when the hubby is feeling romantic it's best to go for it and leave your worries behind!

We celebrate our days and halves. We have an anniversary and a half-anniversary. We celebrate half-birthdays and strangely, the day before the official birthday (So we can live up the last day of being X years old rather than the first day of our new older age).

It comes in handy sometimes when life gets in the way of celebration. The year my husband spent by his Grandmother's bedside, we put off celebration to our half, but usually we have 2 days of celebration each year for each event. 4 b-days, 2 anniversaries. We never miss an opportunity to remind ourselves to celebrate the things we are most grateful for.

Anyway, maybe a half anniversary option would let you two celebrate at a better time of year.

Hmm.. well do you have easy access to babysitting for a couple of days away? I can't imagine that vacation with 5 kids was all that relaxing-- I think what your hubby has attempted to arrange is a nice balance to the family vacation. If you can get a babysitter for 5 any old time then sure, talk to him about delaying your celebration. If not, then honey, pack your bags and go enjoy a few quiet and romantic nights. After 20 years and 5 kids you deserve it!

Yes, if you have the money in savings and he is asking, then DO it. Sometimes (not saying you) women can get so wrapped up in the kids that our marriages take a back seat.

Maybe HE is needing a little romance and a couple days sans kids may be just the right setting.

I love B&B's but the walls can be quite thin, sometimes. DH and I stayed in an old house B & B on our honeymoon and I felt like I was honeymooning in my bedroom at my parent's house while they were home. LOL!

You are not nuts at all, but I can propose an even better alternative, I think.

I would try to get the *kids* gone for a few days (relatives? friends you can then do a favor for?) and *you all* stay home, have the house to yourselves, do your projects, have your time alone...I can attest to the incredible romantic wonderfulness of *this* kind of simple vacation, because DD has been in day camps this summer and DH has stayed home for a couple of days each week--we've made headway on house projects. It's been so oddly wonderful, much better than I expected -- we're just us, living in our lives, not having to take time away from our lives to have special together time -- it's really so *great* it's more recharging than a big production going somewhere 'special'. AND, we're doing something for our house together, without feeling guilty that we're not doing something 'fun' with our daughter. It's a win-win-win. Seriously. I'm very surprised at how much I've loved this time with him, and sad we didn't think about it earlier. So I say GO FOR IT -- rediscover the romance of your own life :)

I completely understand how you feel, but you are celebrating milestones. There will always be projects and cleaning and whatever. You'll never have a 40th birthday and a 20th anniversary again. As you get older, shared memories of special times are a great touchstone for your marriage.

YES, you are nuts! LOL!
There is always going to be a project that needs doing. There is always going to be someone else who needs you to help them out with something. And not to be a downer, but tomorrow is never promised. What if you could look into the future and see that you won't get a chance to go off with your hubby 6 months from now?

(and truthfully? that's pretty romantic of him suggesting this. that thought would just never cross a lot of guys' minds. do us other girls a favor and encourage it!)

True Romance can be accessed in many ways...Heck, some people even take vacations to go build latrines for other people, and come back glowing with happiness and fulfillment. Don't let the traditionalists intimidate you :)

I think you two should go bungee-jumping to celebrate. Now, that will be memorable.