Thank God he had the MRI. Back pain is so common, it could have gone on even longer without knowing the cause. I'll be praying for you, your DH and Family.

Luk, you, your husband and your family are in my thoughts. I am sending positive thoughts your way. I hope that you can find some comfort in the virtual arms of the good folk here-and know that we all care.

Your husband is amazing, so brave to go on to work as if there were nothing going on. Be sure to get yourself some help...around the house and perhaps some counselling, you don't need to wear yourself down too much.

Much love to you & your family.

lukki what a frightening time this has been for you and your DH. I'm glad the prognosis is so encouraging and that you were able to share with us - you know there's a ton of support here for you.

Lukk, thank God you made him see another doctor. Will he eventually need a bone marrow transplant? I know his disease isn't the same as Robin Roberts, but that's what it reminded me of. She'll be getting a transplant from her sister after she finishes chemo.

You must feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. That makes it even more critical that you find time to take care of yourself.

Sending you good thoughts and prayers.

Sending you positive thoughts and prayers.

Lukkiirish, what a shock to you and your husband, I can't even imagine how you felt but you're decision to see another dr. is what put you both on the right track. From the sounds of it, you'll have an uphill battle. That's a lot of stress to deal with so please be good to yourself and do all you can to stay healthy and somewhat "relaxed" Seeing you doing so well will make your husband feel better too. I'll be praying for a speedy recovery for him. God bless.

Thinking of you and your DH with positive thoughts.

A friend of mine was diagnosed with multiple myeloma at 55 and 4 years later is in remission and doing well.

Oh dear, my heart goes out to you Lukki. I know you've been under a heap of stress! Good news is, you encouraged your dh to get a second opinion, and he went for it! Now you have an accurate diagnosis, his condition is highly treatable, and he's expected to have few, if any, side effects from the medicines. That's all such good news.

You've often spoken highly of your husband here, and I know he is a great guy who is a real trooper! I know you're a great lady who has faced a lot in life and you are a real trooper too! The two of you will make a great team as you meet this challenge with your usual commitment, sense of humor, and loving support for one another

Sending you positive energy, good thoughts, and prayers for healing, comfort and peace. Oh, and of course...a big hug!

Sending positive energy your way. I agree that we know so much more about this condition and how to treat it.
Yes, men are stoic. He will be just fine :)

Thank goodness you sought that second opinion. I am praying for you and your husband for complete and total healing.

Lukki, I am so glad your dh's prognosis is good. I am sending YOU as well as him good energy. I know what an emotional strain you've been under and it may even take you by surprise at unexpected moments. Take care of yourself.

Wow, what a story from just what sounded like simple back pain. I am putting healthy vibes out there for both of you.

I've been in the same place! My husband had blood in his urine after driving his old car. His/my doctor gave him a pass on the first one. On the second one our dr. sent him to the head of oncology at the local hospital. Their oncology center is know as the ROC. And it is. He was being treated for bladder cancer and that day was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin�s lymphoma. It had invaded his skeleton but he had no pain. He often told me that I was his strength--if I cried, he would cry. I never did. He went through 6 mo. of chemo--never lost hair, but gained weight because I listened to the nurses. They said it was the first time one of their patients put on weight during chemo. That was 2004. He is now cancer free and living a normal life. From the chemo, his bones are brittle so no stepladders. His endurance isn't as it was before, but we're both getting older. We love each other and treasure each day.

Good luck to you and your husband. I've done a lot of that "listening to breathing" and have had a few tense moments when I wake up and can't hear breathing. I think that's all normal. If you are panicked, just poke him in the arm.

oh luk- so sorry to hear this. We've dealt with multiple myeloma in my family.... I hate cancer, all cancers, hate them, hate them.....

Saying prayers for you..... One thing I might advise. Call the NIH and ask them to send you the latest on treatment for mm -it will give you some valuable information, and you will be able to better evaluate the doctors' ideas.

I'm glad you felt ready to post. You know my thoughts and prayers are with you both.

tina

Sorry you're headed down this road. My mother was diagnosed w/ MM in Dec 2010. She is currently in complete response (MM doesn't get to remission like other cancers since there's no cure)! Her only treatment right now is Zometa for her bones.

Survival rates are getting better every day. There's even a new drug that should be approved by the FDA later this month, carfimzomib, so that's another bullet in the holster.

If you're interested, I belong to a really good listserv. Go to www.acor.org and search for myeloma.

I'm so sorry that you and your husband are having to face this challenge. I am so glad you had the sense not to accept the "diagnosis" of the first doctor and continue to pursue better care. I wish you both well. You are so "lukki" to have each other.

Dear lukki, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your DH as well!

Sending thoughts of good health to you and your dh.

Sometimes, you need to cry. Both of you, together, separately, with others. Sometimes you need to rage and yell. Sometimes you need to be left alone and not talk - at all - about anything. Sometimes you can't stop talking. About everything. You and he will feel your emotions run wild, and you have to let them.

It is an awful thing to go through. You just have to do it.

One thing, though: Don't poke him to see if he is breathing. Be patient and wait. Sometimes it takes forever, that wait, but sleep is restorative. And it gives him respite from his fear. And if he isn't breathing, poking him won't really help.

I wish you and your husband peace and recovery.

Oh lukki...Thanks for letting us in on this. Hope we can offer some comfort & support for you.
I'm so sorry you are both going through this nightmare. Praying as hard as I can.

Lukki I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this trying time. When we are young-ger we always think this sort of thing always happens to other people. We do not fully realize the emotions that go along with health threats and what a roller coaster ride it can be until it happens to us. Of course you have to be the strong one and that is a job in itself so I feel for you there. You both will most likely have some life long changes coming up, but you know that isn't always such a bad thing. Sometimes what you may think of now as bad turns out to be wonderful. Sometimes you end up with a different kind of closeness, deeper...and have a greater appreciation of little things.
I'm going to send much positive thoughts your way (I'm sending them now).

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know it can't be easy, but it is good for all of us to hear and to remind us to stick up for ourselves and loved ones if we think we are being misdiagnosed. Doctors are only human.

I can't imagine the stress you must be feeling. I hope the positive news continues.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You must feel so overwhelmed, I can't imagine. Consider you and your sweet husband prayed for.

I'm so very sorry to read this. It would have been my dads 76th birthday today; 7 years since learning about his terminal Leukemia. We knew something was wrong but he was stubborn. He started his clinical trial the week of his birthday.

I don't know the difference between AML & MM; I know that blood cancers can be tricky. Sloan Kettering supposedly has better testing for blood cancers; I assume places like Hopkins would too. You want him to be treated at a decent place; you have to make your 1st shot count.

I'll be back in a little bit once I wake up more & compose myself.

So sorry to hear that you and your hubby are going through this, and glad to know the prognosis is hopeful. It's OK to cry, it doesn't mean you're not strong, it's actually a good thing to do, so let your tears come if they must.

So sorry you guys are going through this, you are in my thoughts and prayers!

So horribly scary, but it is sounding positive now. Sending strong vibes to you.

Oh Lukki, I'm so sorry you are going through this. There is nothing more scary in the world than having the health of a loved one in jeopardy- even if it is treatable/curable.

I'm sending you prayers for strength and your husband prayers for healing.

I've said this before in other threads and I will say it again. Any doctor who dismisses a legitimate complaint instead of addressing it is NOT a doctor you want to be seeing! I learned my lesson the hard way, and I work in healthcare. Sadly it happens all too often, we have to be advocates for ourselves and our loved ones!

Hi Everyone, I can't tell you how much it means to read through this thread and feel the support from all of you. It's so appreciated and well needed too. I couldn't work all week and now have a ton of catching up to do. I'll be back to respond to individual replies tomorrow but didn't want you to think I wasn't around. Hubs is doing pretty good today. The realities of the diagnosis are sinking in (for both of us). We are busy trying to absorb it all and create some balance with all the meds, the scheduling and even the learning process. I feel all the good vibes coming our way and am finally feeling hopeful for the first time in weeks. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I sent you an email before.

Meds can get tough. Get a few week dose containers & one person is in charge of keeping track of it. You can also write it down to cover yourself while you get used to doing it a new way. I found that writing on the big calendar was helpful; especially for income taxes next year; also do as much digital as you can; if you have gmail; sync the calendar with your cell phone. You can even add med reminders to it.

Lukki, you are both in my prayers....

Beth p

Keeping you and DH in my thoughts and prayers lukkiirish.

Sending healing energy, good thoughts, and prayers for both you and your DH. I understand a bit about what you are going through as I've been down a similar road.

Please take good care of yourself Lukki - I hope you can find a support group IRL. That is something that helped me a lot.

Oh my. I'm so sorry this is happening. I, too, am sending good vibes, prayers, and a big hug your way. There are several inspirational stories of success here. Stay strong, but do take care of yourself. You and your DH are lukki to have each other.
Betsy

Lukki, so sorry, what a scary time. Wishing your DH a full recovery.

Lukki,

Such a scary and disorientng time for you.

My own husband has had major health issues over the last three years and it is a hard path to follow -especially at first when you're grappling with a newly-defined reality. Don't expect to resolve the confusion all at once, that's too much to ask.

(I know, too well, the panic of listening for each breath!)

Nothing feels the same, but I've come to recognize that even before this, it was an illusion that things would never change. Now I know they can and will, I try (not always successfully) to be less shocked. Although it's understandable that you are totally focusing on your husband right now, be aware that you need to make sure you take good care of yourself as well. I failed to do that and after about 18 months I got really sick and nearly died. My DH needs me to be alive and supporting him, so I can't let that happen again. Neither should you.

During the early period of my husband's illness I was hungry to hear of people who had faced equally serious health challenges and recovered a satisfying life. There was so much scary information swirling around I couldn't process it.

Although my DH's illness is not the same as yours, he was critically ill then, but recovered and is doing quite well now. He disdained the advice to go out on disability, and resumed work within days of leaving the hospital. He needed to do that, which I did not sufficiently recognize. Three weeks after becoming ill (and only three days after he got out of the ICU) he left for a previously-planned business trip. I took him to the train station (he was not cleared for air-travel, yet) and with special meals, medical devices and meds packed in enormous suitcases put him on the train. I literally sat on the floor of the train station and cried after I watched the train pull away. A kindly stranger sat with me and on hearing my tale of woe explained patiently that the best medecine for my DH was to get back to normal ASAP. He was absolutely right, but it took awhile for me to recognize that wisdom.

During that dark time, I remember how much encouragement and comfort I got from the best wishes, good thoughts and prayers of people on GW - all of them strangers in IRL. So I'll add mine to the many who have already posted. It made me feel braver - and calmer - to read and re-read the threads. I believe things will go well with your DH, and you will be able to go back to feeling good about life.

L.

Once again I'd like to thank each and every person for taking the time to post, share stories, offer encouragement and your wonderful wisdom. Sometimes, kind thoughts are the best medicine.

Thank God he had the MRI. Back pain is so common, it could have gone on even longer without knowing the cause. I'll be praying for you, your DH and Family.

Judie, you are so right, back pain is common and he has had it for years because of other issues. The doctor just took for granted that it was a muscle spasm or the extra 30 lbs of weight he's carrying. Telling someone in pain to just loose weight didn't cut it for me.

For anyone experiencing back pain, if an anti-inflammatory does not help, push for the MRI. Sometimes the insurance companies will fight the costs but it is a huge red flag that something more serious is going on.

Your husband is amazing, so brave to go on to work as if there were nothing going on. Be sure to get yourself some help...around the house and perhaps some counselling, you don't need to wear yourself down too much.

Thanks Pesky, Not being able to work would send him into a depression and not help at all. It's a Godsend really. Help around the house may not be necessary but I've definitely got counseling on the to do list and finally called to get a script for Xanax to help with my nerves.

DLM2000 - yes the support is overwhelming and so so appreciated. I don't know really what I'd do sometimes without having this board to turn to. I just love all the wonderful people participating here.

Natal - Thank you. The Oncologist did not mention a bone marrow transplant for is particular type of cancer, he did say that at some point especially if his body rejects the treatment that a Stem Cell Transplant could be done. The amount of technology is amazing.

YaYa, yes, sadly life as we knew it has changed forever, but fighting an uphill battle has sort of been an MO for me most of my adult life. It was my husband who changed that for me and I'll do whatever it takes to give him the same wonderful care he has always given me. Knowing the prognosis is positive has allowed me to breath and absorb. I can sleep again.

BLFenton, Hearing the positive stories is so encouraging. I'm sorry your friend is going through this too but how wonderful that she is doing well. I'm truly learning to have a whole new appreciation for modern science. Please keep me posted on how your friend continues to do.

Shermann - thank you for the kind words, it's funny the things we think we could never do until we're faced with having to do them. This is one of them. LOL I promise, I won't poke him. :c)

Jterrilynn, sometimes you say the most thought provoking and wise things and you couldn't be more right. DH has no history in his family of cancer so of course it was not on our radar at all. As it turned out, he contracted a cancer that is non genetically originated. As hard as it is to envision, I do know in my heart some good will come from this. Our nutritional choices are going to change, our weight will become more healthy, I'm going to return to school so I can ensure a decent income for us if change should take place and I've already decided that once he's in remission, I will arrange to volunteer at the Cancer Foundation our Oncologist has founded. Our relationship is already described by others as one of the most inspiring relationships the people in our lives have seen but I know it too will continue to grow. If nothing else, he knows he's the love of my life and I will fight for him no matter what.

Stinky, thanks but I can't really take all the credit for getting him to a new doctor. A year or so ago, his original MD doctor said some really offensive and unprofessional things to me about my husband and his reaction to her care suggestions. She was mad that he didn't agree with something she had said and made this clear to me. He really liked this doctor and since the things he saw her for at the time were basic, I chose not to repeat it to him but instead just started to encourage him to consider a change. When he didn't get a good response from her about his back pain I finally told him what she had said and that I felt she didn't have his best interest at heart. That's when he finally agreed to seek another opinion and the MRI was eventually ordered. Change is hard for him, so that was huge.

Beachlily, Your story gave me goosebumps. I'm so glad your husband is a living success story. My husband is weighing every day and each pound loss weakens me at the knees. We have to discuss this with the doctor after the first round of treatment is completed.

I remember when my mother survived stage 3 Colon Cancer 16 years ago. The odds of survival back then were much lower. She says she credits her success to not only the skill of the doctor but also to positive thinking and following their directions to the tee including good nutrition. We plan on doing the same.

Listening to him sleep has been something I've done for as long as I can remember. He's a snorer so it's hard not to. LOL I have to admit though, now that snoring is music to my ears so no need to poke. The puppy has also grown into a snorer and well now they snore in harmony. Listening to the two of them is a nice reason to smile.

Bestyears - I'm sorry you've had to go through this, it's such a painful thing and you are in my thoughts now too. I will look into the NIH, but can you tell me what it stands for?

Straitlover - Congrats about your mother. That is wonderful news. I'll take a look at that new drug. The doctor feels DH will respond well to the treatment plan he has him on. My fingers are crossed. Thanks for the link, I will check that out as well. Please keep me posted on how your mother is doing.

I've said this before in other threads and I will say it again. Any doctor who dismisses a legitimate complaint instead of addressing it is NOT a doctor you want to be seeing! I learned my lesson the hard way, and I work in healthcare. Sadly it happens all too often, we have to be advocates for ourselves and our loved ones!

Polly, Your so right. Actually, when we first met with the Oncologist, your words were in the for front of my mind. I took great care to watch how he responded to us in general, our questions and if he was anxious to get out the door. He was very methodical in his explanations, soft spoken and willing to give us the time we needed. He and my husband both have accents so even though there was a lot of accent action going on, he also took great care to respectfully ensure that my husband (and I) both clearly understood everything he was talking about. Then when he could see that we were in too much shock to think much, he started mentioning questions most people ask and answering them so we would have answers to things that may come to mind later. I really appreciated that. My husband is also very comfortable with him and that is very comforting to know.
Luckygal, I'm also sorry you have gone down a similar road. I won't ask for specifics, but your also in my thoughts, the foundation the doctor has founded has support groups available and we will eventually become involved with them I'm sure.

liriodendron - I hope your husband is okay, its sad to know we are not the only ones going through this but comforting to know my emotions are normal. My husband is not familiar with the labor laws and was fearing the loss of his job. The managers have all assured him that he has nothing to worry about but I still believe he'd be depressed if he couldn't be busy doing something. I know the feeling you had when that train pulled away. I cried after he drove off to work after the first treatment. We've been married 13 years and I still get excited when I know he's on his way home. Now it's even more intense. I know he needs to be there, it gives him peace of mind and makes him feel more normal, I just selfishly want him here close by so I know he's okay. Smothering I know, but I can't help it.

Thank you again everyone for your kind words, hugs and well wishes. I know it will be okay. Different, challenging and at times overwhelming but okay all the same. I'll keep you posted on his progress. --Lukki

Lukki, I have read all the responses and was not going to post since I am not as prolific as yourself or others on this forum...but, I had to let you know that you and DH
will certainly be in my thoughts & prayers. (DH & I just
returned from Antigua where we celebrated our 30th)

Lukki,
Almost 3 years ago, my husband was diagnosed with Leukemia so I think I can understand some of what you're experiencing. The shock, the fear, the sometimes surprising support from people you'd never expect it from, and the slightly new look at life.

My advice to you is to BE SURE to take care of yourself. Exercise, eat healthy, do whatever it is that brings your mind peace and rest, whether that is reading or knitting or skydiving. Of course you'll do whatever it takes for him, but DO NOT neglect yourself. You will not be as effective a caregiver if spend all your physical, psychic, and spiritual energy on others.

Thankfully, my husband is disease free and healthier than ever. The whole experience deepened our bond and even brought us closer to some friends, who were such a wonderful source of support for both of us.

A friend & cancer survivor recommended we save the cards he received (and it was over 100!)and re-read them on the anniversary of the diagnosis. It was great to see them again a year later. We also saved a big banner his co-workers made and unfurl that yearly to read the very funny messages. (They had a blood drive at his office. One female wrote - "I had to eat carbs. That should tell you how much you mean to me". That still makes me laugh.)

Feel free to email me if you want to chat, one caregiver to another. Good luck. Stay strong.

I know that this sudden, awful news has hit you and your sweet DH like a train wreck. Wrapping your brain and then your lives around a diagnosis like that takes some time. My heart goes out to you both. I have a longtime, good friend battling this same cancer now, too. He had absolutely no symptoms. It was just found by chance when he went to go donate blood. Something was off in his blood and they sent him to his doc for testing. It came back as (already) Stage III Multiple Myeloma. He's now in remission. I'll keep you and your DH in my prayers now, too. Know that you have many friends here who care.
Lynn

Lukki....I am so sorry and I hope your and your husband's journey to recovery is a smooth one.

As with others, we have been down that road and things do get better.

I am just seeing this thread. Lukki my thoughts and prayers for strength are being sent to you and your DH. c

Like Trail, I'm just stumbling on this thread but I feel your pain and fear. Sending you all the good mojo I can muster. This story will have a happy ending. (((Hugs to you and Mr Lukki.)))

Please keep us posted about the ongoing journey. We are here for you.

Just saw this myself.

Hoping you and your DH find peace and recovery.

Lukki, I didn't mind the "hijack" on my other thread, but I'm glad you posted this and so sorry for the worries you are facing. Please accept my well-wishes for you and your DH, and for a swift recovery.

lukki -NIH is National Institute of Health. It is little known, but they have some outstanding state of the art information to share and it is free for the asking. They have transfers to local library, and will also send stuff directly to you. My mom discovered this when she had a very rare cancer of the eye.

My mom used them about ten years ago, and just called an 800 number, and they guided her from there.

When people ask you what they can do to help -this might be a mission for someone who is good at this sort of thing.

Here is a link that might be useful: NIH

Bestyears thanks for the info. I'll add it to the list of resources. So good to know.

Thanks Golddust, Kelly, Leafy, Lynn, Marlene and Trailrunner. I really appreciate the kind words and well wishes.

Lukki, just wanted you to know I'm sending positive thoughts your way. I hope the road ahead is smooth for you both.

Hang in there, we are always here for you.

Bee