No, I don't and wouldn't. I worked in restaurants when I was in graduate school (dedtired, if you read this-I even worked for Albert at The Guardhouse for a while, but they pooled tips and I am not a fan of that). We never would have done that. Not sure what you would be tipping for...carrying the order to the front from the kitchen???

Before anyone jumps all over me, I do tip extraordinarily well whenever we dine out or have take-out delivered.

Tacky! I feel it's like the local BK adding one.
I'm sick of tip jars in general. I wish employers would pay a fair wage & that tips can be for what they used to be for; exceptional service.

Miss Manners is rolling over in her grave.

We don't tip for carry out. When we order for carry-out we do the pick-up instead of them delivering because you get a discount if you pick-up. I have a feeling that when my kids do the pick-up they leave a tip - they are very generous with my money.

Miss Manners is rolling over in her grave

You mean the Miss Manners (Judith Martin) who has a column in the Washington Post? I don't think she is rolling anywhere yet.

But back to the subject at hand. The place where I saw a tip jar that made me really shake my head was at a self serve yogurt place. After I served myself, the cashier weighed my yogurt and took my money. And no, I did not leave a tip in the jar! I waitressed for too many years to consider cashiering to be a tippable service.

I am another who does not tip for carry out. I also don't tip at the coffee stand. My DD worked at a local coffee shop, they served sandwiches and other simple foods that they would prepare on site, but they were paid a fair wage and they had tip jars there. It always bugged me in a sense, they're not doing anything differently than the deli shop servers at my grocery store. In HS I waitressed, and I worked as a catering waitress after HS, and that was a lot different than working at a deli or coffee shop counter.

I always tip very well for servers at a restaurant, where I'm seated, someone takes my order, and brings me things. But if I'm walking up to a counter after I've read my order off a board, and am handed my food in a container, I don't tip. Oh, well, let me clarify that, I will usually throw my change in the jar when they hand it to me...but if I use my debit card, I don't add for a tip.

I do tip pizza or other delivery people, but not as much as I do a server in a restaurant or my hairdresser.

Speaking of the tipping...do you add the tip to the slip when you pay with your card, or do you leave cash? If you leave cash, do you draw a line thru the tip line or do you write cash or on table? I always draw a line (and tip cash) but never knew to write on the slip. Apparently servers want customers to write something on the slip so their managers don't think they're providing poor service and not receiving tips.

I see them from time to time. Sometimes they annoy me other times I'm fine with it. It depends on the place, the people, etc. There have been a few times I've thrown some money in but most times I don't. Surprisingly this doesn't bother me too much. However, I hate when people stand outside of stores trying to sell me girl scout cookies or whatever else. Not sure why it strikes me different. Maybe it's the verbal thing.

When I pay with a card, I'll put a line in front of the tip and total amounts.

Tip jars are completely out of control and a huge pet peeve of mine. A few weeks ago, at my local Dunkin' Donuts, I noticed that in addition to the regular gratuities cup that sits at the register, someone had taped up a plastic tip cup by the person who makes the food. Really? So just in case I missed the first one, here's a second chance tip you? It's not like you're even tipping any one person for great service - they pool the money, so even the worst servers get the benefit.

I worked in the restaurant industry for years (as a table waitress, and as a counter server), but now everyone expects something, even if they do nothing more than put a bagel in a bag. I've seen tip jars at the dry cleaners!

I'm all for generous tipping where appropriate, but to me it's just getting ridiculous. And actually, it probably relates to the other thread here about entitlement issues!

I agree - tip jars are absurd and I don't feel compelled to contribute to them. I frequent a deli near my office almost daily. It's a counter where you place your order and they call your number when ready, and you go back to the counter to pick it up. There, next to the cash register, sits a tip jar. Why? What are they doing that would merit me tipping them? It's just dumb.

Wow, Cyn. I never knew you worked for Albert. He is such an icon in the community. He knows everyone. I worked as a waitress in the summer at a place called The College Grill in Ocean City NJ.

I think anyone who has ever worked as a server becomes a good tipper. The hourly rate is so low and they really count on those tips. It's hard work, too. I always tip 20 percent.

I never drop anything in those tip jars. Tipping for what?? I don't contribute to charities in those jars or boxes either. I never feel confident that the money will always make it to where it's intended. I do give generously to charities that matter to me.

Miss Manners is rolling over in her grave

You mean the Miss Manners (Judith Martin) who has a column in the Washington Post? I don't think she is rolling anywhere yet.

No; the original one- Emily Post.

Thank you amj!!! I was just about to post a similar topic. The over use of tipping drives me crazy. It's a different story in restaurants and there I tip on the heavy side because it's absurd to me how that pay scale works and the division of tips that is often required. But for others who may be in a relatively low hourly wage position? Nope. Won't tip. Many people are in low wage jobs and have no opportunity for tipping - so should we tip the people who stock the shelves at Walmart? Or the teen behind the register at Walgreens? Don't they serve us, too? It's a travesty that people can't earn enough to sustain a reasonable standard of living from their wages, but tipping is not going to correct that problem.

Shee - you nailed another one that makes me crazy. I hate being 'accosted' when I leave the grocery store. And that's what it feels like to me. We now have kids being bused in from over 30 miles away to sell candy for their team, band or school. Give me a break! I realize their community probably doesn't have the same financial base and they can't collect much there. But I am so over tapped that it's maddening. Every cause is a good cause. Every charity deserves support. Every school needs the best equipment. But there is simply a limit to what's available to give and the last thing I need is to be rushing out of the store, trying to get my food home and refrigerated and to be met with a never ending parade of hands, buckets, candy bars, car tchotchkes and the like. I hate saying no. No one wants to disappoint children. And it doesn't stop there - our doorbell rings non-stop early in the school year as kids come around to sell coupon books, wrapping paper, and on and on. I must sound like a stingy old bat but my preference is to pick and choose the charities and causes to support from the privacy of my own home, so I can weigh how to funnel my money.

I do tip for carryout.

When I waitressed in college, and we got a call for a "to go" order, one of the waitresses had to take the order and then package everything. This took away from our tipping customers. It was a huge hassle as we did not always have things packaged for "to go." I know this is different from places that do a large carryout business--but I always really appreciated a tip for carryout.

I always tip 10% at our local Chinese restaurant for carryout. The person who cashes me out always makes a point of thanking me.

I also leave a tip in tip jars at icecream stands, dunkin donuts, and such. I can afford it and figure its good karma. I would hate to be scooping icecream for minimum wage.

DH and I were in a pinch for supper late one evening after working on a project all day. He wanted pizza and rattled off a couple places, but neglected to mention his local favorite since he was a teenager. I said "What about XYZ?" He bristled and said "I'm not ordering from them again." When I asked why he said last time he went in for a pick-up, the price came out higher on the receipt. He didn't bother to glance at it till later in the truck, they had added a % of the sale for "Gratuity". This isn't a fine restaurant, in fact they don't even offer dine-in. It's either take out or delivery. We always generously tip the delivery person. But I'm with him on this one. They are in the business of making & selling a product, I see no need to tip them for the pleasure of using our gas to go pick it up. Honestly, given the type of place it is, I find it laughable.

I saw a tip cup recently at a local Dunkin' Donuts, too. And I noticed the one at our local Starbuck's drive-through has been removed.

The only place I frequent with a tip jar is the local coffee house/roaster. I don't mind dropping a little change in the jar. Always tip 20% for pizza delivery ... and that or more in restaurants.

Just wanted to add, I wasn't trying to single out the girl scouts. There are many, many groups and causes set up. I shouldn't have been specific.

I agree with you 100% Dlm. One time there was group set up outside my BANK. It's bad enough to feel like you're being attacked when you walk in someplace but it makes it even worse if you politely decline and get a nasty response. Once there was a group of teens doing a car wash for something and I was nice but said no thanks and the one girl was suuuuper snarky. I left it go but wish I would've went to the store manager. Anyhow... sorry, I'm done hijacking now.

ded, Albert was a friend of the family. He is a wonderful guy.

I know how incredibly annoying the fund-raisers are outside the stores; I don't disagree; however, I'll give you the other side of that. DS coaches middle school basketball and volleyball and the unfortunate part of the current "pay for play" is that many students' families cannot afford the fees to permit their child to participate in sports activities. The fund raisers allow every student to participate who wants to participate. And, yes, his group was also at the local bank, though they only held up their containers and didn't directly approach any customers. I usually make a point of dropping something in the buckets of local athletes when I see them. I've never seen any students at our local stores fundraising from outside our own area. I think the merchants generally only allow our own high school/middle schools.
Dee

I would put money into a jar if the kids were there in uniform and collecting. I just won't drop money into one of those jars that are left on a counter.

Do you leave a tip for the maid in a hotel? I never used to do that but it occurred to me that I should, so now I leave a few bucks.

I have a nephew who is a musician so I can't walk by a street musician or listen to live music in a bar or restaurant without giving them something.

Since reading the book Nickel and Dimed, I do leave a tip for hotel maids.

The rare time I buy myself a chai tea I always tell them to keep the change (which is only about 20-25 cents).

We have never had pizza delivered, I send DH out to pick up what we want. He does not get a tip. Maybe a kiss, but no tip.

Another thing that I find interesting about tipping is that the expected percentage to tip has gone up since my waitressing days in the late 70s and early 80s. Back then, the standard tip for decent service was 10%, good service would get you 15%, but only truly excellent service received 20%. Now it seems that 20% is the norm for standard service.

My first tip was 50 percent! I got a nickel tip for a ten cent cup of coffee. This was in 1965.

hhireno, I read Nickel and Dimed years ago - what a sobering read THAT was!

I generally tip on a case by case basis, but one thing I thought was strange was the tip jar at the concession stand at my boys' youth hockey practices. Is this normal now?

I will tip for take-out, but at a lesser percentage than what I do for table service. However, I do not like the tip being added to the ticket. Haven't encountered that yet (for take-out).

I'm usually pretty generous in tipping, unless it's just terrible service, and that hasn't happened in a long time. I also make a point of speaking to the manager and praising someone who has given us good service.

TIPS = To Insure Prompt Service.

I had to go back to work and make $$ fast. I went back to bartending and waitressing. I'm 53. I work a full-time bar job and a full-time server job. Yup. Double shifts almost 7 days a week. I am exhausted, but I haven't lost my house. I digress.

In this day and age of computers, the house must report to the government 8% of a server's net sales, upon which they're taxed. Where I work, and in most finer establishments, the house will take a percentage of the net sales to tip out bartenders, food runners, bussers, hosts and expo people. Ours is 4%.

So essentially, I pay 12% tax on everything I ring up, dine-in or take-out, good tippers or bad tippers.

I wish those who think 10% or $5.00 (+ $1 if they really like you) were aware of this. Or gave a damn. Servers frequently end up paying to wait on someone. We call them IPTs (ignorant people tips) or OPTs (old people tips) and write them off in our heads to losing 2 hours' worth of $$ on someone we just paid to occupy a revenue-earing table. Unfortunately? Sometimes these are the nicest people, too. Who LOVE you! We fear the love.

How 'bout a $200 check, where the guest decides that $20 is enough for anyone? Sure, it might be, but I'm still paying for them to occupy my time, table and attention.

Anyway, I don't agree with tipping on carry-out. Those jars ARE offensive. Prompt delivery? Sure. Add it to my take-out check? I wouldn't go back, but I'd tell them why.

tinam61? You have the right idea. If someone just leaves a low or no tip, they're just jerks. (IPTs). If someone leaves something and actually gets the complaint to the mananger? The management can DO something about it in the future. If they don't know, what can they do? Conversely, if it's a compliment? They can encourage it in all the servers.

I used to administer the Redbook and Good Housekeeping etiquette boards on women.com - - which was also consumed by iVillage. I know my forks. And my tips. And my white after labor day (stop me) and all that jazz... tip jars are crass.

Somewhat OT, but my local Safeway is now asking us to donate to one cause or another as we check out or use the credit card machine. They don't push it, but it annoys me. I'm intentional about my charity, especially in these hard times.

A number of grocery stores here provide an option for a cash contribution to the food bank at the checkout. We give quarterly, so I've never used it, but it seems an easy way for someone to help out.

It depends on the type of place.

Waitresses are not paid minimum wage because it's assumed they make up the difference (and then some) in tips. I waitressed in high school and college. Some places I worked, we had to package the to go orders. So, it was not just bringing the food out to the client. You put in the order, packaged it in to go containers when ready and packaged that in bags. And, it took away time from servicing your tables. We got tips most of the time for to go orders.

However, in places where the workers are getting paid full hourly wage (like coffee shops, etc), it is a fairly new thing to have a tip jar on the counter. And it does bother me. On the other hand, it's not like they are getting paid a lot of $$ to do that job, so maybe I should tip. I don't know. I'm always torn.

When we pick up pizza for take out, it's not the waitresses that do the work. It's the cook that makes the pizza and puts it in box when done. So, I don't tip there.

I do leave a tip for the maid in a hotel.

Here's something that bothered me last weekend. We went out to a restaurant with 3 families. In total, we were 10 people, but we asked for separate checks for each family. The service was HORRIBLE. I mean really bad. Things took a long time to come and were often wrong and then took even longer to get fixed. When the 3 checks came, an 18% tip was added in. I know they do that for large parties, but since we had separate checks I don't think they should have done that. And I would never have tipped her 18% because she was terrible. Usually, I'm at least a 20% tipper (I think because I waitressed and know how hard it is), but not when the service is so bad. We all thought about complaining about the tip being added in, but we just wanted to get the heck out of there already. Had been there so long due to bad service!

My only problem with the grocery store asking me to donate is when they claim they made such & such amount donation to charity. Did it actually come from the company coffers or is that the amount the buying public added to their bill and paid from their pockets? I've never seen it explained or divided, as in our customers gave $X and we gave $Y.

I have no problem saying "no, not today" or "no, not ever" to the check out clerk. I don't think the teenage clerk is judging me for not giving.

Mostly what I do is I donate the same amount I just saved using coupons. I was going to spend it anyway, if I didn't have the coupon, so why not? That little bit of check out money is in addition to a larger donation that we make to a local food bank or I would be just as guilty as the store by claiming a donation when it's just coupon money, IYKWIM.

jill, I'm sorry that you got bad service with your large group, but you were still a large group, and therefore fell under the restaurant's automatic 18% policy. Making the waitresses job more difficult by asking for separate checks doesn't change that. And as a former waitress, you know that a lot of things go on behind the scenes that you have no control over, but as the only face that the customer sees you get blamed for everything. However, many servers don't know how to properly handle those situations and actually make things worse by not acknowledging problems in the kitchen, mistakes in orders, etc.
One of my biggest peeves in dining out is when they deliver your order, come back about 2 seconds later to ask if everything is all right, then you don't see them again for ages. Often I want to order another glass of wine, or I haven't really have a chance to determine if my steak is cooked properly. I hate having to track down or signal my server in those cases.

I agree with terriks. Did you mention anything to the mgmt? Or did you just go away mad? Did you ask for separate checks before or after dinner? Frankly, it's a common opinion that only nit wits ask after. People know darned well they don't want to pay for their friends. Or they know their friends take advantage -- or THEY are the cheapies. Who knows?

We add 20% to parties over 5. Thank God. And we do NOT do separate checks, no matter who asks, when they ask, or whom they claim to know. But we'll take any number of forms of payment a guest can come up with. I'm not big on those who try food stamps.

We have to slap tables together at a moments notice for 10 to 30 people. But then, it's policy to make certain there are enough servers to accommodate x no. of people. 10 is one server, but after that, more servers.

More often than not, those big parties are families. We are a destination/celebration restaurant. We have families that bring babies, a zillion kids, and they walk around showing the babies off to everyone else, sitting here, sitting there, their kids are zipping back and forth from end to end of the table. Why someone thinks a server is going to keep track of a guy who yells, "Gimme summa dem shrimps over here" then moves down the table where he originally sat is way beyond me.

Or the kids that order everything known to man and then their parents say, "I didn't order that," or "My prodigy (I'm being kind) wouldn't eat that, anyway."

These parties block anywhere from 2 to five tables in 1-3 servers' sections that other people cannot use. That 20% averages out frequently to be the $$ a server would have made had these tables been seated individually, and turned within the usual hour/1.5 hours. Take my word for it. One look at me tells you I'm not working for my good looks.

All that said, I love my job. I am happy to go to work and love the people I wait on. I have fun. We have supurb food and will do most anything to accommodate guests and special orders. It takes two to provide good service. Someone to wait on a guest and a guest that communicates well.

Last night in 6 hours, I left with $290 in hand, and then my charge tips will come to me in my paycheck. Yes, I pay taxes on my sales. And FICA. That $290 includes a whopping $8.00 tip from two woman who stayed 3.32 hours and LOVED LOVED LOVED Me. Their bill was $130.00.

But back to the OP? No, not on take out and I don't care for solicitations. My husband's niece's basketball team stood in the median of a busy street for a Saturday afternoon and collected $1500 for basketball camp. I don't mind buying things, washing cars, whatever, but I found that to be reprehensible.

Oh - FYI. Servers pretty much know anyone who mentions tipping doesn't. So "do this and you'll get a big tip" or "tell 'em to make it a 'good' one" = You're screwed no matter what you do. If you know you're a decent, fair tipper? Observe those around you.... You might find the irony we do in this embarrassing, offensive carrot-and-stick attempt at manipulation.

We asked for separate checks as soon as waitress came to table. Would never ask after the fact. That's ridiculous. We go out a lot together. Some places will not do separate checks, and that's fine. We ask. If they say no, we deal with it at the end (really, we just divide by how many people, not a big deal). If they say yes, great, simplies things for us at the end. And, in fact, we do everything we can to make it easier for the server. When we ask for something later (another drink, dessert, etc), we always tell them which check # we are (1, 2 or 3). Believe me, we would never claim to have not ordered something that either we or our kids ordered.

Like I said I waitressed in high school and college and I know what a hard job it is. In fact, I forgive A LOT from a waitress because I know it's hard and I know customers are not always the nicest and I know the kitchen messes up, etc, etc.

This server was beyond ridiculous. Got a LOT of orders wrong. One order did not come with the potatoes it was supposed to have. When it was pointed out to her, she said that doesn't come with potatoes. Ridiculous! We were at Joe's Crab Shack. Every crab meal comes with corn and potatoes. She argued with us. Someone finally went and got a menu to show her that the order was supposed to come with potatoes. She says fine she'll go get some. We asked several times if they were coming...yes, they are coming...finally they arrived...after we finished dessert! No sorry, no nothing.

One of our friends after getting their ice tea couldn't drink it. It was too sweet. No problem, he orders something else. One of us asks why didn't you just get the unsweetened? He says they don't have unsweetened. Huh? I'm drinking unsweetened. He says she told him they only had sweetened. Are you kidding? She forgot from one end of the table to the other that they actually had unsweetened ice tea?

Our table was a long table that was not tables pushed together. It's the type of place where lots of large groups go and they have some big tables for this purpose. So we did not take any tables away from the server. We were there a long time but it was because of the service being so bad, not because we took a long time.

If the service had been anywhere near acceptable I would not have given the auto added tip a second thought. It just annoyed me when the service was TERRIBLE. No, we did not complain. We thought and talked about it, but we just wanted to get the heck out of there already.

Oh - FYI. Servers pretty much know anyone who mentions tipping doesn't. So "do this and you'll get a big tip" or "tell 'em to make it a 'good' one" = You're screwed no matter what you do. If you know you're a decent, fair tipper? Observe those around you.... You might find the irony we do in this embarrassing, offensive carrot-and-stick attempt at manipulation.

OMG, I hate that. We occasionally dine with someone who makes a huge production of the tip - either insulting the server with statements such as those above, or doing a big song-and-dance number after the bill is paid, tracking down the server and putting the tip money in his/her hands (because, "those busboys steal from the tables, dontcha know" -- insert my rolling eyes here), and then saying something that I guess makes them feel like a fat cat, big tipping, high roller about what a good tip they're leaving. (Do they expect the server to grovel with gratitude?) It's horrid and I always want to just crawl under the table or otherwise distance myself as quickly as possible. It's all very belittling to the server, but this is a person who would never in a million years get it, if we were to explain why the behavior is improper.

We just got back from a week at Disney, it was an eye-opener that in Disney buffet restaurants they add an automatic 18 or 20 % tip for parties of 6 and up. Note that I said buffet, where the server's responsibility is to seat you, fill your drinks, and clear your plate away. There were only 3 of us, so we weren't affected by the rule and actually we did tip 20% because our servers did an amazing job of being entertaining and funny for our daughter. I think if you need to charge a fee to make the opportunity cost of serving a large group work out, then fine, but you should still allow for tipping to be a mechanism to reward good service nt an entitlement.

I have 3 daughters that waitressed while in school. Talking to them made me realize it's not an easy job considering you sometimes have to take crap from people, yet turn to them and smile.

I tip 20% if i'm at IHOP OR McCormick and Schmick's, maybe more if service is exceptional. ;o)