If you like for the bed to appear unused, then a feather bed is definitely not for you! Feather beds have to be fluffed after use or they show the flattened areas from use.

I think you're on the wrong track. Instead of a bed what I think you should be looking for is a extra wide chaise, very soft and cozy that you could put a blanket at the end of and hubby could cover up with. Any bed is going to need to be straighten.
A chaise there's nothing to fluff and some of the newer ones are great for napping. just make sure it's long enough for him to stretch out on comfortably.

Not sure there's any way to make a soft, comfy bed look as if it hasn't been used. Maybe your dh will agree to just close the door to your guestroom after his nap? At least then you won't have to look at an untidy bed.

My dh likes napping in one of our leather recliners with a soft throw (an antistatic fleece from LandsEnd) over him, no matter what the temperature. He finds the recliner very comfortable and even fully extended it has just enough of an angle that he rarely snores (he has severe sleep apnea and must use a CPAP in bed.) I prefer this because he tends to want to stretch out and read (which quickly turns into a nap) on the weekends after he's done some yard work, often before he changes out of his work clothes.

During the brief times of year when temperatures are pleasant and there's no pollen, dh will "read" in his hammock. There, too, he uses a fleece throw even when he's wearing shorts. If it's too chilly for the fleece to provide enough warmth, he'll wear flannel lined jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. Again, the elevation of his head in the hammock is sufficient to prevent major apnea problems and he sleeps very well there.

Would your dh consider either of those alternatives to the bed?

This poor guy needs a recliner.

"I would like the bed to look like it hadn't been laid on because he doesn't straighten anything up when he gets up."

Is your bedroom visible from the "living" areas of your home? I think any bed is going to look slept in if you take a nap using the blankets.

While I too make our bed each morning, naps in the middle of the day on the weekend really don't bother me. If we are having guests who will be in our MBR, I will just re-make the bedding prior to their arrival. Given that our MBR is on the second floor, most guests never have any reason to go into that room.

There are things that my DH does that keep the house from looking great sometimes. But when I start getting too irked about it, I remind myself that it's his house too, and that it's meant to be enjoyed and be comfortable in. I also remind myself that a messy life with him, is better than a neater life without him.

He's pretty good about getting things put away and cleaned up before company comes, so that's really the only time it matters. And even then, if it's occasionally a little messy, why should it matter? If people are friends, they'll understand, and if they're not, it really doesn't matter.

The thing that irritated me the most was that he left drawers and cabinet doors open on a daily basis. I used to say something about it, and then I just would close them myself. Since he wasn't going to change for whatever reason, I made a conscious effort to let it go. It was hard, but now the open drawers/doors really don't bother me.

His other irksome habit is that if there's an empty surface, he'll put papers, books, anything on it. I really hated it that he laid things out all along the kitchen peninsula in our brand new kitchen! I REALLY had to work on this one--I kept telling myself that he has LOTS of good qualities, that I'm not perfect, and that yes, it's his house to use and enjoy as it suits him. What he's doing isn't hurting anything. I've just about gotten to the point where I can accept it.

It helps that I used to be acquainted with a woman who was such a perfectionist that she said she didn't want anyone in the family to walk on the carpet after it had been vacuumed, because their footsteps would mess up the pile. After her son started using drugs, she had to look at her behavior and realized her role in how her family reacted to many things. She "saw the light" that her family was what was important, not things and how they looked.

I'm not intending to sound preachy--you only asked for some design advice! But I think of her whenever I forget that a home is to be lived in, and I'm only trying to help in a different way. You did say that any ideas would be appreciated ;o), but I hope I haven't offended you.

Anne

If DH is a retiree, let him have his way. He's worked very hard and probably needs those naps to make up for all the sleep he missed getting up early for work. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. ;o)

I like to take occasional naps but never unmake the bed and get under the covers. Instead I have a smaller comforter that I cover myself with. The regular covers are only for bedtime, or if I'm in bed sick. It just feels weird to me to get under the covers during the day. It probably stems from when I was a small child, and my mother would let me nap on her bed with the "sleepy blanket" that was reserved for naps only.

Funny how we all have similar DH's. I understand completely though and it does bother me when my DH takes a nap and then leaves it. I usally just remake it. After 26 years, he is not going to remake the bed. There are people who have extremely messy homes and just don't care. For those of us who do, it is a struggle to creat a balance.
I have to say though, that since we remodled the kitchen, my DH doesn't stack the mail on the counter. It is on the kitchen table instead. But because it is where we eat, he goes through it quicker and we don't have the piles. So, I guess "baby steps."
IMHO if your DH will use the spare bedroom, let that one be messy, and just shut the door.

I would get him involved: ask him what feels good to nap under, a quilt or soft throw? How many pillows does he need?
Is he willing to use the guest room for naps? Does he like that mattress?
Anyway, I would accommodate him and close the door if necessary. At least your main bed will look nice all day.
We all need a place to nap though!

Ellen, there are also people with clean homes who don't care if their spouse actually lives in the house. I can tell you from experience that most people don't keel over and die if their bed gets wrinkled during a nap.

Honestly, a chaise would be the best choice for the op, but in reality, understanding that your spouse should be free to nap where he pleases would be a more productive focus.

If her DH doesn't have a problem with this, that's what matters. We all have our things that bug us. (tissue box thread. :) )It would honestly bug me for DH to decide to hop into bed in the middle of the day on a regular basis. Her DH may even decides he likes this better.

Anyhow, I agree with Bumble. The colors sound very nice too.

I second the idea of a chaise or recliner. Or if you have room for it somewhere, a day bed. You can get fitted, tailored covers for day beds that he could nap on and not mess up very much. Then ask him what he'd like for a coverup--a throw or a full length blanket? Wool, fleece or down?

About the featherbed--I was touring the Harriet Beecher Stowe house once and the guide was explaining how they would have to fluff the featherbed and pillows every morning. That bedroom had a small chaise in it and the guide explained that it was so much work to get the bed right every morning that you wouldn't sit or lie on it during the day. That was what day beds and chaises were for--they might have feather beds on them, but they were smaller and easier to take care of, so they were used for naps and rests during the day.