Oh ajsmom...I feel for you...heck I have to admit, I really feel for the house. What a gem...and to destroy it (and I'm sorry but making a 1700's home into anything like modern is destorying it) hurts me :( As I can tell it bothers you.

I used to be a private banker, and dealt with so many estates. It's painful. There are those like you who want to honor the possessions, and those who think a 100 year old dresser is just old junk. And you know honestly...dirt poor farmers had the BEST stuff and the most rare stuff. I wedding dress from the late 1800's for a dirt poor farmers wife was basically her "go to church on sunday" dress. She wore it until it fell apart quite often. If they had enough wealth for a special dress, it was honored and treasured. Being dirt poor, it was hard to set aside that gorgeous dress because they had so little luxury in their lifes, so they're very rare to find in great condition. The same can be said for one or two wonderful pieces of furniture, which were treasured, but used (a trestle table from that period....ohhh la la what I would pay for it!!!)

I do love your idea of trying to save it if possible. Unfortunately old fabric is a challenge. Restoration if the damage is extensive (shoulders destroyed by hanging too long, under arms damaged due to lack of anti persperant etc). You can repair some things though. I often buy dresses that have basically fallen apart because the cotton thread that held them together rotted, but the fabric is strong. You also have a period of silk production that will outlast god's last comandments, and then other periods that the silk won't last because of salt used in the curing of the fabric. And funny thing...those flour sacks could be more valuable than the dress :) but I'd LOVE to see pics if possible to help you out. I have many passions, but antique fabrics are a big one with me. Antique anything frankly, but I have a weakness for textiles.

You mentioned that if the fabric is gone, perhaps making hankies for the ladies of the family. I love that idea. I have a few wedding gowns I've purchased off of ebay which I cut up to make crazy quilts out of. You could also consider something like making a small crazy quilt pillow with the wedding fabric highlighted (no matter what it is) and embroider their wedding date in that portion of the pillow for family members. Even if the fabric is falling apart, there are ways to salvage enough to make a special little thing for all of the family members from it, and the good thing...lace almost always survives. The natural cotton threads in a hand made lace often survive longer than any dress they adorned.

I made a crazy quilt pillow for a friend out of her grandmothers christening gown. It was very very old, and made of silk that was salted to cure the fabric and dyes. It was literally falling apart when you touched it. There was no significant value to the piece, and it was too far gone to frame the gown, but it had great -personal value to the family. I ironed it onto a stabilizer fabric (which has to be done carefully so as to not ruin the fabric integrity) and then made the pillow using a very very fine netting that was added OVER the silk from the gown to give it an extra layer of protection. Was it drycleanable...no :) But treasurable (are those words?) yes, it was able to be saved as a family heirloom for many many more years due to careful protection.

I feel for you...it's so sad to see the treasures be disrespected. I hope we can do something with this lovely gown...no matter what the condition!!!

I just hope they will let me take it to do something with, and not just say "oh, we called the Historical Society and they didn't want it, said it was in such bad condition so we gave it to Salvation Army (threw it away, something similar)." Or have other aunt put it on a dress form in her loft over the fireplaced (used every winter) FR like she did my grandma's 75 yr old gown and grandpa's suit.

I have no idea whether the dress is "lovely" or lace - all I know is that great-grandma saved it, she died when my godmother was 20 or 21, everybody who lived in that house since saved it even though it was hung and never boxed. Same thing with the china - my dad said it was never used (must have been early in 1900's but not when he was a boy), always stayed in butler's pantry, I do think my godmother used the platter to bring things to Grange b/c I found tape with her name on it on the back. I still can't believe my uncle (who grew up there seeing how it was treasured) let his wife and DD box it up without even washing it. It didn't have dust on it - but some pieces were actually gritty, they wrapped it in printed newpaper, as I said stacked it flat and crammed in cups and saucers, top and sides of taped box were bulging. No way would it survive trip (in another pickup - hopefully cab) to SC. The grit wasn't from being in pickup since I picked it up in my SUV. So newspaper must have been dirty? I washed it, air-dried in padded drainer, dried thoroughly with towel, and wrapped in unprinted newprint, at least 3 sheets each, in Rubbermaid box with air packs around edges and foam peanuts in spaces b/t. I sure hope it survives the next trip. My mom says Aunt has so much junk in her house she'll probably never unpack it, when she passes it'll probably go to someone who doesn't care, or be sold. I hope not - her DS who is coming to pick stuff up is 5 yrs older than me, family historian, so hopefully he will keep it.

My godmother and her older brother who just turned 96 raised their younger siblings, my grandpa included, who in turn lived there with DW and their 5 boys, (plus their father, my godmother and younger DB for a while - maybe even the "baby" for a short time - so 5-6 adults and 5 kids in 4 bedrooms - great-uncle and boys slept in old servants' quarters in back of house upstairs, their parents slept in one of the front upstairs rooms, my 2 great-aunts slept in the other room, great-grandpa was downstairs in godmother's old room until they turned that into bathroom and then he moved to the parlor). None of them ever did anything with house or contents unless it was absolutely necessary - maybe it was neglect, maybe it was lack of $$ or maybe it was respect, or all 3, but it breaks my heart to see the old knee-knocker servant's stairway closed off and sheetrocked over at the top - we always used that staircase to visit great-uncle and DW when we went to see godmother downstairs (he converted upstairs to apt and put doors b/t front and back when he got married in early 70's - when he was in his 40's). And the upstairs is all sheetrocked - OK, I can see not keeping old horsehair plaster walls and sheetrocked and fake wood paneling (still not insulated) 70's renos, they did keep old brick fireplace (upstairs was added to original house sometime in 1800's and chimney was extended) and exposed beams in what was attic. But no casings on doors, very open and modern looking with picture window in back and that awful ceiling fan on the cathedral ceiling - at least they put grilles in new windows in front and saved the old front banister and treads, though stairs had to be rebuilt.

I just hope they can save the mantels in the 2 front rooms downstairs, and the huge fireplace in the main room (original 1-room house?) that they used as DR until the 70's. The kitchen and milk room were added to the back of the house sometime in the 1800's, no foundation (?) and are falling off as is the back porch so they will probably have to be torn down, not sure where they will put kitchen downstairs. Hope they don't totally gut and pull out the pantry and the stairs behind it. Though it would be nice not to have electrical conduit running across the ceiling of the original 1 room.

Sorry for another vent - I bought the back acreage from the youngest brother back in 2000 so it would stay in the family, 6 years later DH found a job in this state and we started planning modular house, moved in 2007. That winter we had a blizzard and Meals on Wheels couldn't make it out so I started bringing godmother dinner 3-4 times a week (enough for every night) when I found she didn't like their food anyway, we had been visiting her once a week or so when we first moved in but were busy with the house, after the blizzard I (and sometimes DD) would see her every other day, all through the summer too, we'd walk down through the woods b/c it's shorter than the road. She celebrated her 90th in Sept and then went into nursing home just as they moved in upstairs - my dad, his youngest DB (who lives across the street from farm) and I were the only ones who'd visit regularly. DD (just turned 5) still remembers her, has visited oldest DB (picked blueberries at his house last summer when I went to mend the fence) and is impressed by how old he is, upset when saw his tombstone until I explained it was just ready for him, they put his name on when his DW (my grandma's sister, 2 DB's married 2 DS's) died. Seems like not many have appreciation for the family history. I was thinking "something old, something new" for the young (now 3-10 yrs old) brides of the next generation, but aside from DD, I don't know if they even know their great-grandparents' names, much less their great-great-grandma's.

Sorry, have to vent - DH is tired of hearing it, says I shouldn't get involved.