That's the cross we bare while helping animals and/or people. Your heart gets broken and ... well ... let's face it, sometimes it's hard to carry on but it comes with the territory. Questions arise like ... I shoulda, I coulda, If only I woulda. You never know, your not God.

Thank goodness there are people out there like you. Decisions may be tough BUT remember there's always one more that's needs help and think of all those you have helped. Know that GingerBoca is in a better place, I truly believe that.

(((Hugs to you)))

Thank you for giving him a name and some love and care. You spared him a more painful departure and that's a huge kindness to him. I'm sorry that sparing his pain caused yours.

Pranjal - Some things are out of our control. Please stop the second guessing and blaming yourself. Remember that for the last few months of his life, GB was well-fed and loved! You did that. You'll do it again and again because you are a caring person. Grieve for GB. Then get out there and love up the other kitties! I am very sorry for your loss but equally grateful for the care you are giving to all of your cats.

So sad, but so heroic on your part.

Remember how many cats you saved by taking him out of the colony.

For all cats that die miserable deaths in the streets, you did a brave thing.

Given the situation, you acted in the best interest of not only GingerBoca but also every other cat in the vicinity. FIV is always transmittable, and it is through saliva such as sharing food/water bowls, mutual grooming, etc. Not like FeLV which usually requires a bite wound. FIV is the "nice cat" disease; FeLV is for fighters. You did the best thing given the circumstances, and you couldn't change a thing. You acted responsibly. No good deed goes unpunished, as we say in the vet industry. Thank you for giving him the love and affection every animal deserves.

Bless your heart and know that you've done your best....I know exactly what you're going through...We had the same thing happen...We do take care of a little colony, have had them spayed/neutered and just make sure they are fed and kept warm in the winter...Two summers ago, a fairly big, still intact,male tabby wondered by...Of course the others didn't like him but they accepted him...It didn't take long for him to find my lap and just wanted to be loved...Not too long after, I noticed he wasn't eating and then noticed what I thought was a bug bite on his neck and thought maybe that's what was causing it...Well, off to the vet we went and, like Ginger Boca, the news wasn't good...If we hadn't already had inside cats, I might have brought him home, to stay inside, but I couldn't see him being kept isolated so we opted to let him go....That has to be one of the hardest things to do....I even had the vet tech crying and sitting here writing, tears are running down my face....We do get attached to those fur babies, no matter the situation....Please don't give up on the other fur babies, they need you....
Rest in peace Ginger Boca and my little buddy.....

Thanks everyone for your kind words; it's still difficult to go out there and realise GingerBoca won't appear with his gentle mrroowwws - in that typical ambling gait which we so loved.

Meghane, thanks for the info on FIV transmission, our vet also called FIV the 'nice cat' disease.

Bunny White has disappeared and so have three 10-12 wk old kittens; she was coughing and gagging quite a bit, and she looked very thin (though they all got fed everyday). I could not take her to the vet that day since I didn't have a trap and by the time I got it, the vet would have closed. This girl would routinely get up on top of a one-storey building and make me go upstairs to open a trapdoor so she could get into the building and out thru the entryway used by humans - she could very well get out on her own by jumping off some ledges but seemed to prefer doing it the 'human' way, a complete rascal!

There's still Boy White, Anna T. White and Whiny Monster who need to get neutered. Trying not to get too attached to them (at least up until their FIV tests are done).

Irishdancersgram, I used to call GingerBoca 'Buddy' when I first saw him :) You did the right thing for your lil buddy; to everyone who loves and takes care of animals, a big THANK YOU !!

~Pranjal