If visitors ask -- then I do show them around .... mostly they are surprised at many of our choices ... and some are curious about some of décor ideas (like painting the paneling in high-gloss white or using six big double hooks for hanging up towels in the bathroom or having a door put into our master bedroom in the place of a useless small window ....) We live in a very ordinary suburban house in a suburb where many of the house styles are repeated throughout the streets .... so folks are always curious about what décor changes can be made ....

.....of course ..... I do charge 25 cents!!!! LOL!!! (yes -- I'm just teasing!!!!)

... and yes -- sometimes their questions are really interesting: "Do you read those books??" etc.

Or my favorites: "OH WELLL .... YOUR house is so clean because you don't have kids!!!!"

OR "You must spend ALL of your time shopping!!!!" Yes -- those are REAL questions from visitors ..... sigh.

I have gone on house tours at other people's homes and I don't feel as if they are showing off...rather they are satisfying my curiosity, and I'm always so interested in the choices people have made and why they've made them. Some people are afraid I'll be critical, but I'm not at all as I enjoy what their choices says about them...what they think is important, how they see their environment.

Yes, we give tours when asked, even to strangers. Yes it does kind of feel like showing off, but since they asked, why not? I especially like to hear what they comment on as I like to see the space through their eyes....what they notice, what stands out for them.

We don't have kids, and I've spent enough time looking at pictures and hearing about and having people show off their kids to me, so I figure I can reciprocate with our creation that we're proud of.

But I especially try to educate visitors about going green as I think it is more accessible and affordable than people think. We put a lot of effort into greening our house, and if I can save people some of the work we had to go through, or if I can encourage them to consider it, I'm glad. I think it's important, especially for people who do have children who I assume they hope will be able to continue to live on this Earth....

No one has ever asked to see our home. I've never asked to see anyone's home either; I wouldn't know how to ask. But I do love it when people offer to show their homes.

I grew up in a very modest home, one-level and my parents loved to entertain and would always take newcomers through the house.

I don't offer and I don't ask. With a two story house it's a bit easier to skirt the issue, since they see all the main level and it's a tad familiar to ask to see upstairs bedrooms. But if my upstairs is presentable, I would oblige. Recently, my son and his GF (we had met her before) called and said they were coming over. I had not bothered much with the upstairs lately (it's just DH and I in a 4 bedroom house) and I knew some rooms were not worthy to be seen. Well, my son wanted to show her his childhood bedroom, etc..but I jokingly nixed the idea saying that most of the rooms needed cleaning and tidying. She's a great girl and said "no judgment" but I lightheartedly said "next time." Of course, I probably shouldnt have worried about it...she's dating my slob son! Love him dearly, but you'd think I never taught him a thing about cleanliness.

We give tours because when people come over for the first time they know we built it (relatively) recently so they ask.

We do not have many neighbors here (small neighborhood) but three of the five families have had "tours" of our house. I would love to have tours of all of the houses in the neighborhood but hasn't happened, we've only been through 2 of the houses... One thing I did think odd was that one of the neighbor families indicated they brought out-of-state guests through our house when it was being built. Umm.... ok.

We've had some people come over with "housewarming" gifts and basically stand in the hall looking all around the house and craning their necks to try to see all the rooms. I always find that funny and ask if they'd like me to show them around b/c they made it so obvious that they want a tour.

If guests in my house ask to see other rooms, I tell them to help themselves. I don't walk around with them as I'm usually getting a meal or appetizers ready, but I'll answer any questions they might have. I would not let a stranger tour my house.

We don't give tours generally, but if people ask we will take them around. But I don't really point anything out, except to say something like, "We gutted this bathroom and totally redid it." As for quiet, wildly extravagant choices, I see no reason to point them out to people. That's one of the reasons for making a quiet choice, IMO.

We don't have kids, and I've spent enough time looking at pictures and hearing about and having people show off their kids to me, so I figure I can reciprocate with our creation that we're proud of.

Same with us, Annie. Except we feel its only right to bore them silly with stories of our cats. And now you can, too!

Hi Mtn!

For me, it really depends on the situation and the people involved. I never expect or ask to be shown a house, but I am happy to oblige as a guest if someone is excited to show off the results of their hard work after a renovation or move.

Both of our houses have some historical significance so if people ask or seem interested from a sincere place, I am happy to show them around, but not our bedrooms unless it's family or close friends....

On the other other hand, with my "decor buddies" all bets are off - we will endlessly look and talk about the details of the things we are working on and walk freely around each other's houses, bedrooms, bathrooms and all!

Hi, Marina,
Now that I think about it, it's showing the bedrooms and bathrooms that feel very odd to me ...

SAS95,
LOL, I didn't mean we would point them out. I mean I see home tours in the same vein as choices that announce themselves, KWIM? Just as i think the "no- makeup-makeup looks best, I also like houses that don't try too hard , IYKWIM.

Beagles, Wow, I can't believe your neighbors did that! Yikes.

Fun, I like your idea. Tell them to feel free to wander around public spaces. I would feel better not being tourguide.

Joanie, I agree with you. We do keep pretty much the whole house neat and clean, but if I weren't using certain rooms I would not want to bother either. Oh and, IMHO, everybody judges!

Marti, I like to see homes, too.

annie, I like your logic

Teacats, Oh yes, the things people say. More than once we had people look around our house, than at us, then back at the house and say "what do you do, again?". People are crazy.

Lol, Mtn, imagine how annoyed you'd be if someone asked you what your HUSBAND does....I've heard that one more than a few times.

We don't offer tours to everyone who comes over, although we do invite them to look around if they wish. Some people straight out ask while others hint :-) (Since we're a half mile from the street, first time visitors often say they have always wondered what was back behind the gate.) Then I have a couple of friends and relatives who walk in the door and immediately ask "what's new??" They are the ones who appreciate all the details, so they get them!

DH's aunt and uncle came for dinner last night, they hadn't been here in two years so there was a LOT to see and it was great fun showing it all.

I've taken a tour of Beagles' house. It is very nice. :)

But I feel in every home we have had that there is a "Honeymoon" phase. Sure, we give tours but then one day I cut it off. And have to tell my hubby "don't you dare offer a tour of the upstairs".

If a GWer comes to visit, you can have the full tour, I mean you have been through it all with me!

Other than friends and family (someone who would have reason to be in our home) - no.

We live somewhat rural and value our privacy. Also, for security reasons, we are pretty careful. My MIL once had someone come up to her house (she is a widow) and ask if she were interested in selling her house and could they see it. She had no intention of selling her house, but she let them in!

We moved to AZ from CT and the architecture and finishes and floor plans are so different here from the traditional capes and raised ranches and colonials in New England. So anyone who visits from back East seems really interested in a tour and I am happy to oblige. And I am always interested to tour others homes IF they offer. I usually hope the husband doesn't accompany us though. Why is it so many grown men (some in their 60's) turn into teenagers and feel compelled upon entering the MB to let us know "this is where the magic happens"? Eeewwwww. TMI.

We've been giving a lot of them lately but that's because all our friends know how hard we've been working to update this house and they seem to want to share the excitement.

Also, the neighbors. They all knew the sweet old woman who lived here for 40 years before we came along. They've all been in the house the way it was. They've all watched the parade of carpenters, electricians, plumbers, etc. They've seen us with the lights on till a million o'clock at night, working - or out in the garage putting yet another coat of paint on yet another something. They're curious. I don't blame them a bit and am happy to oblige.

I will say that it felt a little weird today, when I dropped off the final payment to our GC (I was in his area anyway). His wife was outside and when I told her who I was she started gushing about my house and how great the transformation is. They live almost 40 miles away and it almost had to be a special trip for my contractor to bring her there to see it. I guess in the end though, I'm happy to have found a contractor who is so proud of his work ;)

P.S. mtn, Now I'm curious about your quietly extravagant choices. Care to share?

I love it if someone wants to give me a tour. I'm such a snoop anyway. :)

Since we remodeled and added on, people want to take a peek, which is fine, but I don't take them to the bedrooms. Even if I had THE nicest bedroom on the planet, I still wouldn't let them in. Personal space and all that.

I would NEVER request a tour of anyone's home. If offered, I will accept, but, quite frankly, there are some I would just as soon not suffer through. Usually, that's due to the homeowner's "let me brag" attitude. I work very long days (and some weekends), and I travel frequently for work, so when I entertain, the bedroom level does not always "make me proud". If someone asks to see the rest of the house at those times, I decline and promise next time.

When my extended family visited last year, they said they couldn't wait to see our house. Our house is very small, so there isn't a lot to see.

One of my friends back home is very handy, so she's always showing me her latest projects.

I thought this thread was about organized home tours. One of the best I ever did was a holiday home tour through the Garden District in New Orleans maybe about 10 years ago (before Katrina). Yes, we only saw the public spaces, but still very cool. One of the homes was Trent Reznor's from Nine Inch Nails. That house is now owned by John Goodman.

....ll"this is where the magic happens" I have never once heard anyone say that, it's unbelievably crass.

Our house was on a Christmas tour of homes several years ago and I think everyone in town saw every inch of it. I still have people mention it to me! We have no secrets :-)

Of course if the GWers came over, they wouldn't need a tour...I think you've all seen everything there is to see in my house with all the pics I've posted over the years, including even pics of our outhouse!

We've done a lot of updates and decorating since we bought the house, so people we know in town will usually ask about the projects. We haven't done anything upstairs (just started a MB remodel)

About a year ago, I hosted about 40 people for dinner. Although I had the food catered and delivered, I did not have any other help, so I was busy. I had given brief explanations of what we had done downstairs and never offered anything about the upstairs. At one point I was suprised to see 2 of the ladies coming down the stairs ... WTH ... I couldn't believe they just invited themselves to look upstairs. I don't think I had even made the bed that day!!

Agree with beekeeperswife on the "honeymoon period". I am tired of the tours of the house after we completely remodeled a foreclosure. All the neighbors came to look. The infuriating thing is that DH's sister who lives near by brings her guests to see the house. WTF???

My aunt and uncle own an historical home in our town. They regularly host tours in conjunction with fundraisers for various benefits not related to their home, but which benefit our community. They view this as their responsibility as stewards of their home that has significance to our community's history.

My parents completed an extensive remodel of their home and hosted an open house with a reception, tours, etc. They were also on-call, of sorts, for others who couldn't attend the open house, but who wanted to view at later dates. I appreciate the investment they made... but I found the desire to display their investment to others, apart from their family and immediate friends, to be, at the least, ostentatious.

Ha! I'd give anything to be finished with this house so I could give a tour!
This totally depends on the people who want the tour.
Close friends and family? "Help yourself and straighten the medicine cab while you're at it"
GW? "Here let me bore you with every detail..."
DH's golf buddies wives? "Uh, no. But the powder room is right there."

Yes, to neighbors and friends, but I will never participate in a home tour again! I volunteered my home for a mcm tour this yr. I didnt realize it was for a 1000 people! While most people were courteous, I had people opening my cabinets, my refrigerator, etc. Everyone was running their hands along my walnut island. I had one woman ask me how much money I made! Someone else opened a cabinet in the den area, knocking a midcentury moblie to the floor and marking it up. The home is a very open floor plan, and I roped off all the bedrooms and bathrooms. We had 6 people watching this area and it wasnt enough. It was just too many people. After it was over, I was exhausted. But I still bleached everything I could down, including the floor (even though I had them all wear booties). If someone volunteered their home for me to see, I would be courteous and not touch anything. I am still flabbergasted at the behavior of many of the people.

Rockybird, sorry to hear about your experience. In the New Orleans tour, they used runners (can't remember if they were vinyl or not), so those sort've kept people on "track" for lack of a better word, but these homes didn't have open floor plans either, other than the one that had a ballroom.

Well, a tour of The Brick Box would take exactly 90 seconds if you go slow. Depending on the state of things upstairs, I'm happy to show it. If I am working on a particular project and a friend stops by, I will often say "let me show you what I'm doing". I am sure it is never taken as a brg since very little of this house is brag-worthy. I am more likely to brag about the the garden since it was put together by the sweat of my brow.

If I go to someone's fabulous home I will say "your home is just beautiful" and if they offer a tour, I will gladly take it. If not, they say thank you and we just continue on with whatever reason I am there.

I rarely into anyone who is bragging. Most people who have put their heart and soul and a lot of money into a home enjoy sharing it.

I would not want to give a house tour to anyone who was not a family member or close friend who had expressed interest. I've learned that showing your "stuff" can invite negative energy from others that I just don't want in my home. That's what I love about this board--being surrounded by others who have a shared interest in decorating and design and who appreciate that what is behind a beautiful space has more to do with careful choices and talent/skill than with what it may have cost. But I've been around too many other people who equate a lovely home with how much money someone has, and then they resent that! As my mother has been telling me forever, "people are funny!".

I have never asked for or expected a tour of someone's home, other than my BFF's houses. I am close friends with someone in my neighborhood, but we've never toured each others homes. DH thinks nothing about asking if someone that seems interested if they want too see the house, then proceeds to take them around. I don't get showing them bathrooms unless they are interior design obsessed.

On a side note, we used to swap Thanksgiving and Christmas with his brother's family. We did both here the first year, then it came up to Thanksgiving the next year - no invite, so I said I'd do it again. Come to find out, the first time they were here, my DD2 overheard SIL saying she was never going to invite us to their house again - almost 8 years later and she hasn't! I do not judge others, and frankly our last house was nice also, so I don't get it. We are not close, to say the least.

Back to house tours: We built a pair of rather large office buildings and as they were leased/built out, we purchased vertical blinds from the same woman who was also an interior designer. She asked to see our home when she came over to measure for blinds for the sunroom - I didn't want, DH did. He never uses the room, I do. Anyway, the second time she came by she brought her DH (a builder) and her adult DD. At end of visit I found out she was also an interior designer. The woman said after the tour was over "I'm going to be stealing a lot of your ideas." .... Thanks?! I do not like blinds, and didn't like the entire conversation, so didn't buy anything from her and I have never seen her again.

When we were building, one Sunday my parents had come over and we were all out on the back veranda. A noticed a man and a woman walking around my house. The man had been at the house the week before, touring alone. ??? I had talked to him, given him my architects information, etc. so wasn't expecting to see him again. When I approached them to find out why he was back, he said "I'm going to built this house." I asked what he meant by that and he said his lot was like mine (lake lot, house on the point), so I told him the plans are copyrighted and he needed to contact the architect to discuss (knowing the architect does not duplicate the same house within the same zip code - he wouldn't even sell my father a plan that was similar in the back, but different in the front/roof since it had the same name - Dad was not too happy! lol). The reason this rubbed me the wrong way is that since I had first met him, several subs said he had been in the house. One even said he took pictures, but I'm not sure if he was joking or not. After this awkward visit - I asked him to leave and never come back, and told him he was trespassing on private property - he called my builder to ask for his set of plans after we were done. My builder told him we owned the plans and he needed to call us. Knowing what I would say, he asked for DH number. DH told him no, and that I would kill him if he did and I found out (DH wasn't going to anyway, he was just putting it on me). The guy tells him "she will never know." I have no idea if he ever built a house like mine or not, but we put a lot of time and effort having the interior and exterior of plans customized for our wants and needs. I wasn't about to have a house just like it down the road, even if it wasn't in our neighborhood!

I'm with edeevee, after about 18 months of a long line of trucks, debris piles, workman, etc the neighbors were all curious as to what the inside was like (the closer ones even got tours mid progress). After the front yard was done, oddly enough, people I had not yet even met knew the house because the front went through such a big transformation.

Thank you gsciencechick! Runners are a great idea and I wish I had thought of it!

allison, that guy is just creepy! He clearly wanted your plans and didnt want to pay an architect for the design That would really p*ss me off.

Whoa, Alison .....tacky guy !

Allison,
I don't know why, but people do seem to think that when your home is uninhabited and under construction, it is a public place they can stroll in to see. But once you live there, very odd. SIL sounds like a pill. Good for you, no travel!

Our last house as across the street from an historic mansion used for non profit events. From time to time people would wonder into our house instead, just walk right in with a tray of hors d'oeuvres or somesuch. I considered in a compliment, since they were known for their gardens.

WMA, That may be part of it. Even here, people can be "funny", too.

Dedtired, I have never felt any tour givers seemed to be bragging, maybe because we are all fairly similar demographically.

Rocky, We had our home on an historic tour once. Everyone wore booties. They had a docent in each room. We had no issues. But it is a risk, for sure!

Voila, That is probably true , too, that after a while it is tiresome.

Chispa, That is crazy! I have caught people taking photos, which I would never do in a million years.

KSWL. The "you" was a communal "you", as the people who do this are never people who know us. Usually people gathering for a fundraising event or a school social. But IKWYM. I just love those DH who think they are Masters of the Universe and I'm a housewife.

So, anyway, we had guests Friday night. I decided no tours, instead we walked the grounds a bit. We ate dinner in the dining room, and dessert on the patio. I really liked avoiding the whole thing. There is something about that is so 2010's narcissistic to me, unless you are close or it is about sharing a decor interest.

Edeevee, not sure how to answer that on a forum in a PC way!

We build our home, so for the first year or two, people wanted tours. It's now been 4 years since we've moved in and I've stopped offering bc 1. It seems like showing off and 2. Unless they are decor obsessed like me , they probably don't really care.

Every home in our pre-WWII neighborhood has nearly the same original small footprint, and many owners have made amazing changes/expansions over the years. There are no tear downs, because the original homes are basically brick boxes that you can turn into almost anything.

When we were thinking about our project, it was incredibly helpful to see how others in the neighborhood had handled particular quirks of these older homes (weird staircase landings, where the main plumbing stack is, load-bearing walls, enclosed porches, etc.). So after we completed ours, we gladly show it to anyone in the neighborhood who asks, whether it's someone we know well or just someone walking by. It's an incredibly kid-friendly, unpretentious neighborhood, and I don't stress when the house isn't sparking clean or neat (of course there are some days where the level of chaos is so great that I would shoo someone away with the promise of a tour on a later date).

Every few years, we have a neighborhood home tour, on which we were a stop this past year. It was a bit of an undertaking, but I felt like it was paying it forward, since I personally had benefited so much from visiting others' homes when I was looking for ideas. I'm not trying to show off what I spent or how cool we are, just what you can do with a certain canvas as your starting point.

It's interesting to me that so many people on this forum seem reluctant to show their homes. I'm not saying that in a critical way at all, I'm just surprised, because you all work so hard and take such (well-deserved) pride in your design endeavors. I would think that just as an artist likes to showcase work or a musician likes to perform that you would enjoy an opportunity to display your handiwork. Then again, I'm a total extrovert and will willingly talk to anyone about anything, anytime, so if there's a chance to meet someone new by showing them my home, I'm all in.

Whether you do home tours or not, thanks for doing gardenweb "tours" -- I've found it very helpful over the past several years!

Apart from family and close friends, no. But we live on a private road in a rural area so we don't get too many drive-bys anyway. Some friends have asked to see our recent master bath remodel and I'm happy to oblige because they explain they are considering a re-do or they are just curious. Many of my friends, though, are more interested in my gardens, especially this time of year. I do have a few neighbors I know asking to come see and I don't mind at all. There aren't that many and we know them.

Arlington, you reminded me of a very interesting show house they did a long time ago. Music Mountain is a place in CT where they hold concerts. On the property were 4 identical houses which were originally Sears houses...yes you ordered them from the catalog! Anyway they had designers come in and remodel each of the homes as a benefit. It was fascinating to see how different the exact same lay out and foot print could be in the hands of different designers with different visions.

ArlingtonVAremodel, it's not that I am relunctant to show my house. I can bore someone for hours talking about décor. It's just that it seems kind of forward and assuming to offer tours. If someone asks, I am more than happy to show them around.

A co-worker of mine was having a work meeting at her house. She had just moved into a new place and I'm sure she was excited to show it off. I don't really know her that well. But anyway, I was having a hellish day and barely made it to the meeting on time. Her 6 y.o. was giving hour tours. I declined. That was probably rude, but the house was not to my taste anyway and I certainly was not interested in a 6 y.o. perspective. I was hugely disappointed bc the house was in an older part of the city and I thought it would be a great old house that has been redone, but it was just a new McMansion. That is why I don't offer tours. I don't want people to feel obligated.

We rented a new house and the builder knocked on the door one day and said some people wanted to see our house because they wanted him to build one like it. I said okay. I didn't expect the opening of the cupboards and closets and general snoopiness. The second time he did this, after the tour, I took him aside and said...since you are the builder and this is a new house, I think you should fix the towel rack that is falling off the wall, restain the front door and fix a window that is not working. He gave me a funny look and said he would look into it. Last time he brought anyone by to look at our house.

Years ago we purchased a large parcel in the Delaware Highlands of NE PA to use as a get away place. It had been slated for expansion of a residential development but the builder went bankrupt and the bank took the property.

Access to our land is through a private community of nice homes on 2 to 5 acre lots. There is only one road into the neighborhood and it looks like a giant figure 8. Our land would have been the final phase of development and is situated at the rear of the neighborhood. When our builder began clearing the driveway he told us that our neighbors would stop and ask him all manner of questions about us. Naturally they were curious but they were apparently more concerned that someone had bought the land they had been using for recreation- hiking, fishing, horse back riding, hunting and ATV riding.

The neighbor who lived closest to our land told the builder that he would prefer if our driveway were further away from his property because he wanted it out of his sight line. Now bear in mind that we purchased 135 acres of heavily forested land, our driveway is over a third of a mile long and winds it's way between huge trees and rock formations. Our neighbor would have to be on the roof of his house with binoculars to see the drive.

During construction we would drive up on weekends to check on the progress and meet with the builder and architect. It wasn't unusual to pull up in front of the house and discover neighbors roaming though the house. Even after the doors and windows were installed and the house secure we'd discover people peering though the windows.

It seems they had a proprietary interest in the property and they felt like we had taken it from them. They were even more curious when they found out that this wasn't going to be our full time home but rather a weekend, vacation place. There are at least 3 other homeowners who live in NYC and use this as a weekend retreat but we were different since we bought such a large parcel.

It took a few years but after we all got to know each other their attitude softened and we were welcomed. Once they realized that their private community was now spared from having an additional 30 homes built they were thrilled. We've had several get togethers at our place and some of the neighbors have asked for a tour. DH is happy to walk people around the house, he loves to share his happiness but I still feel a little unnatural about it. Our house is different from others in the area. It has a 2 story Great Room, open floor plan and huge windows.

We still get the occasional peeper venturing up our driveway. It amazes me that someone would have the nerve to enter a private drive that's posted with 'No Trespassing, No Hunting' signs and where you can't even see the house from the street. But once they start up there's no room to turn around and unless they're willing to back all the way down a narrow, winding road they're stuck driving to the end.

It's funny to observe how some of these people react when they discover that someone is home. We've sat on the deck and watched people do fast K-turns in front of the house. One couple said they thought it was for sale and wanted to check it out. Then they commented that it was really too small for them so DH told them that this was the guest house and that the Manor house was further up the mountain.

I have to admit that I'm relieved that DH no longer does tours and if a neighbor asks he'll just show them the first floor. We were asked if we'd open our home for a fund raising tour but even DH decided that he wasn't interested in having hundreds of strangers roaming his house.

I think I have shared this story before about the lady who my doctor sent over to discuss my (now our) autoimmune disease. She kept bragging on the house, asking if she could see it. I told her it looked terrible but I had plans to redo so much of it, pointing out what I would "never" have chosen had I been the original owner. It turned out she was the wife of the contractor who built it and she was the interior designer. Ta da. Goose was cooked and it was mine.

"DH told them that this was the guest house and that the Manor house was further up the mountain."

Good for your DH, Maire Cate, lol! We also have a very long driveway and before we put up the gate to deter rubberneckers and worse, had people coming down our drive at all hours of the night and day. Some had the grace to look sheepish if they saw us.... others put on a brazen front and pretended to be lost, or real estate agents, etc. DH got really sick of it and after our house was burglarized the last time about four years ago we put in the gate. Now nobody can get in except the thousands of contractors who have worked on the basement.....as soon as the bathroom is wallpapered we are changing the service peoples' access code again.