roo! Go to bed!

Olldbobbi, did you choose red ochre?

Yes ma'am, I surely did! hehehe I love that color !

Let's not discuss other posts on Houzz involving specific people on OLLD, please.

Really, olldbobbi? I thought the red ochre was the color you did NOT like. It was the Revere Pewter that you learned to like, is that it?

ok, i have to say something too about the contractor....i had a weird experience with one, and it was my FRIEND's hubby! I laid the law down! He, one other worker bee and his son put my bamboo flooring in. I raised almighty hell, when they conveniently stopped with only half of the kitchen floor left to do. I was paying rent on an apt and was ready to move in. Could not move in, until they were finished with the floor, for obvious reasons. I have never been afraid to confront anyone though. He yelled back at me, when I said that I was paying him and this was a job, and I wanted some things the way I wanted them. In other words, I was the boss. The other thing that was very different for him, and most men in the south, (creesy will vouch for this), is that because I am a woman who knows more than the average woman about construction etc, (because I've done it myself)...threw him for a loop. He is not used to working for a woman who knows what his business is. Most people he could say anything and get away with it. Not me. He was used to working for passive rich women who didn't have a clue, and I'm sure had gotten away with murder forever. he could tell them anything and they would believe him. Everything CAN be done the way you want it to be done, but it may take someone actually having to use their brain.
Don't get me wrong, things had come to a head at the point of my confrontation with him. This guy worked on million dollar homes and the details of his work that I experienced were sloppy. And also there were some things that me and J wanted to do to the house work-wise. He knew that. I had specifically told him what I wanted him to do and what we were going to do ourselves. He did some things that I did not want him to do and that I did not budget to pay him to do. And I wasn't all too happy when I dropped by the house while they were working and one of the guys was drinking a beer while working on my house. Very unprofessional in my opinion. I'm not a gal that doesn't want to have fun, but i've never been paid to drink.
The worst part of it was that his wife and I were great friends. I shouldn't say we were, we still are, but I couldn't go crying to her about it. It was a very uncomfortable situation and I could not WAIT to get him out of my house. Some things I just zipped my lip about, so he would leave, and then I would fix later.
ROO, you may be sleeping now, but when you get up...do get what you want!!!!! Start crying if you have to! I'm just not a cryer, but it was my money, not the contractor's and I knew what I wanted. Don't forget who is the boss!

eztia, yes, it's the Revere Pewter that took getting used to . But I'm ok with it now! Thanks!

MP, you are so right about work men taking advantage of women in this area because they think they can get away with it. So glad that fellow ran into you! *L* Hubby sees so much of this especially in the HVAC area. It's almost guaranteed that if you call a hvac repairman and they didn't install the until, suddenly your unit is "wrong" for the house and you need a whole new one complete with ductwork. Hubby is always trying to explain to people how stuff works and what will help them so they don't get taken by these jerks.

Sorry to disappoint, you gentle Southern ladies, but it's not exclusive to your area :))

I know bob, but there are a lot of "southern gals" who have never lifted a finger and depend on men exclusively for certain things. (get your mind outta da gutter!) lol....talking about construction in particular and cars/autos.

Creesy, they DO get away with it! Some of them are sooo gullible that it blows my mind. When I did "confront" my contractor, I was not yelling, but was very precise in speaking about the situation. He in turn blew up like a maniac and said, "You will get your GD floor finished by tomorrow!" I was in shock! And you have to understand that I was dealing with someone who was trying to slide as many cheap alternatives by me as he could, so he could make more money. The first sign of trouble was when we had quoted me prices from the beginning. Everything written out. Very simple and easy as far as the flooring. All bamboo straight across the front of the house and hallway, and carpeting in the bedrooms. He "thought" that I said I wanted carpeting in the "ARTROOM"! Which is the last room at the end of the front of the house. I'm thinking to myself, how could you even think that way...why in the world would I want carpet in a room where there would be ongoing painting and projects!? Thank the dear lord, I caught that one! I went to home depot with him to order carpet and buy the bamboo. that's when I found out. We started discussing square footage, and of course I had mapped all of that out way before. I also got him to hire the painter to go in and prime the entire house because he used this guy a lot. A professional painter for 30 years. He was the first worker bee there. He was supposed to spray the day after thanksgiving. Well guess what, he showed up thanksgiving afternoon. If Jeff and I hadn't stopped by there later that day nobody would have known that he was there. He sprayed every last door knob in the entire house! Again I was in shock. I used to paint houses professionally. There were also drips coming from the tops of the walls and doors. I took pics of everything. It was not acceptable work. All of these little things that had to be fixed were not going to come out of my pocket. And yet the contractor STILL tried to worm in all the door knobs he was going to have to replace, out of my reno money! It was horrible having to keep on top of every move, so that I didn't get screwed. I swore that I would never work with a contractor again unless I absolutely had to. And the only reason I had to this time was because someone HAD to have a license with the type of loan I was getting.

Sorry I was so long-winded about this subject, but I don't like it when people try to rip off people in any business situation. Creesy, I'm glad your hub explains things, that's the way it should be! ;)

Mp, I don't either. I get really upset when it's old people they try to rip off. Makes me want to grab a stick and beat the thieves!
I can so empathize with what you went through because we went through so much of that building our new house and these were subs my husband knows! Just like you said, we had to stay on top of every little thing. The day I lost it was the day I brought one of the brothers in law and his wife over to see the house and the painter was getting started... 6 weeks after he was supposed to be here. We walked in and he came over and told me they were just finishing getting the first coat of paint on the window trim. We put knotty alder on all of our trim and it was supposed to be stained. Even after I told him to STOP, it's not supposed to be painted ! They kept on painting it. I think every single contractor we used were like that. When all was said and done, I think there were only 2 we'd actually recommend to anyone.

I could not recommend any of these freaks! They did fix everything pretty much, after my hounding, and some things I just overlooked so I could get them out. Creeser, they put a piece of WHITE shoe molding around the base of the brick fireplace where it met the bamboo floor! This is a man who works on gazillion dollar homes! I am so not kidding you! lol!
I feel like you have to respect the people you are doing work for, no matter what kind of job. But especially when some people are ignorant about certain types of jobs. They have you by the balls!

Girl, you are preaching to the choir.

Guys, you are making me want to drive over and give really big hugs to the two contractors we used for our addition and our kitchen (separate jobs). They were SO not what you are describing. I felt really lucky at the time to have such honest, experienced, and insanely meticulous (if a bit behind schedule) guys doing our work, but now I feel positively blessed. Your experiences are horror stories!

I'm with you feeny. Our builder and all of his subcontractors were an absolute joy to work with...professionals and true artisans in every sense of the word. I would venture to guess that most home improvement projects are driven by decisions made by women, so an old fashioned, condescending attitude toward the "weaker sex" wouldn't make good business sense.

feeny, you WERE blessed to have them. ..... I know a lot of contractors, and there are very few really great ones out there. you should send them a christmas card for sure and tell them how much you love the work they did, and that you are still enjoying it!

Yes, we were very lucky. Both contractors were recommended by the architect we used, who was himself recommended by a friend and neighbor. Actually our architect had had both contractors do work on his own house, and had also worked with them on other jobs, so his recommendation was both personal and professional. I always feel safer using people recommended by others I know and trust, though that's not always a guarantee either.

feeny! How are you feeling, and what did the dr say?

Feeny, yes! What is your health status?

I cannot say that my dad was a contractor, nor was he the least bit handy, but I could say that my mother is one of the handiest women i've ever known! :)
i have built things that are still standing myself and it was just out of pure longing and knowing that i COULD do it! There are some jobs that I could have lived without doing for sure...plumbing is not my favorite. I used to be scared to do it. Not so much anymore, but just hate the bacteria factor. Electrical, not crazy about, but I will do it.

Go Mendi's Mom! As I sit here, waiting for a plumber.....

ok ladies, I started a before and after discussion for sharing fireplace makeovers...it will be interesting to see what other cool ideas are out there...if anyone posts anything, that is!

Morning my beautiful friends, thank you so much for your support. Woke up this morning feeling so ill, but threw the mother of all tantrums at BH and told him to deal with it. Sick of always being the nasty. Threw in some crocodile tears which really shocked him and he is discussing it with the builder now, while I'm having a sulk in the bedroom and keeping up with you guys on my iPod. Teehee!! Get back with the result.

Good job, roo!

I'm doing fine, guys. Still some residual coughing, but full of energy again. No tests back yet, but that's good news. So I'm quite sure it is/was bronchitis and just stuck around longer than it should have.

So glad roo threw a tantrum and sulk. You go girl.

YEAH.............AND ROO WON!!!!!

Even BH is tippy toeing around me. Gosh it feels good!!!!!
Tummy still upset but going shopping (what else) while it settles.

Full details later.

GREAT JOB!!!

Well now you are all bedded down for the night I finally get a chance to catch up. Gosh I hope I didn't stir up too much angst, you sure have some stories to tell. Eztia love your story with your dad and I know just what you mean and the feeling you get when you get one up on a gung-ho guy.

Oh, michi, you made me laugh. Our bathrooms here, especially in homes around the age mine is are very small and basic by your standards. Bathrooms are for washing oneself and that is it. My whole bathroom is just under 10ft by 7 ft, door in middle of long wall, bath to the right under the window, shower in corner to the left and vanity opposite the door. We actually have a separate toilet which was about a 50/50 thing back then, either separate or in the bathroom in lieu of shower which was over the bath. Probably only in the last 10 years or so that bathrooms have grown in size but still in general nowhere near the ones I see on Houzz.

Our original shower was divided from the vanity by a tiled brick wall and of course we had the hob but the stupid builders didn't leave enough room for the towel rail, it went across the hob so we could never have a screen door. The "standard" size of a shower recess is 900 x 900 which is about 35 1/2 ins square so quite squishy and with removing the solid wall and the hob we could increase the shower by about 4" on one side and 8" on the other. Doesn't sound much but it really does make a huge difference. I wanted a niche in the back wall to take shampoos etc. to give more room but that couldn't be done to protect the integrity of the wall so it was even more important to have the extra space for a shelf for toiletries. The builder just jumped in and did a 900 x 900 with no consultation at all. That was quite rare for him actually, there is nothing else he has done that that he hasn't consulted and discussed first, he has been really good like that - some things I am really adamant about, others I defer to his knowledge and experience, even been a couple of things he has learned from me. That was what upset me the most, he didn't say a word about it and also just did the hob at the end of the bath without any discussion, not what I really wanted but I don't mind it, I think it is a little more modern the way he has done it.

When I first expressed by disappointment at the shower and the lack of space for shelving he was quite offhanded and said most people put in corner shelves and baskets. Well, I'm not 'most' people, I like to be a bit different and even BH had found glass shelves he liked to put in in lieu of the niche. He has no perspective of things though and couldn't see where the size was a problem, even when I made him stand in it and pretend to shower and told him every time he would hit the screen or door.

Anyway, after I had my hissy fit he really surprised me, he made the builder coffee and they sat outside and over the coffee and a few cigs they discussed it, then they came in and measured up, etc and then the builder took off while BH 'calmed' me down by giving me options of what I could have. I was happy to compromise by just making it the 8" longer, so when the builder came back, I went back to the bedroom while BH discussed it further. What really got me though was that after all the drama, it only took him 2 hours to cut the concrete and resurface the area. Only thing is he could lose a couple of day waiting for it to thoroughly dry to waterproof, depends on the weather, but he seems to have plenty of other work to do.

So what a day it has been but I felt so much better when I got back from the shops, my tum had stopped doing cartwheels and BH is still being super considerate and discussing everything he wants to do to ensure I agree and even asks CAN I do things, do I mind, is it OK.

Do you really still have those Southern Belles - a la Gone With the Wind? What a hoot. Unfortunately, I would fail, I just couldn't be 'useless' like that.

feeny - glad to hear you are feeling much better, hope you continue to improve.

mp - your fireplace came up great on your post but I noticed quite a few others had design problems posted with theirs. Wonder if they will link up and get ideas from yours. Maybe you should have put a patent on it.

Ah well, see what tomorrow brings, feel I have hogged today's discussion, will try to be quiet now, but thank you all so much for your support, it really helped me a lot.

roo, I'm so glad you were able to get things the way you want them! It's a shame how we have to pitch a fit to get what we're paying for. And every once in a while, it's ok for DH to tiptoe around us! It's good practice for them.

Couldn't agree more and better still, they never work it out.

Be interesting to see what the builder's attitude is tomorrow, he definitely did the wrong thing not discussing it but when I think back that really was out of character for him so I can't help but feel the cancer had a bit to do with it. However, I'm not going to feel guilty at all, he thought he was fit and ready to go back to work, his doctor passed him physically fit but of course the last thing men ever think about is the mental aspect.

Was a beautiful day here today, mid 20s and not too humid, would have been a perfect day for knocking over more painting but we achieved nothing. Try again tomorrow. Can't believe how many little bitty things we have to do - result of BH ignoring things for the last 20 years, but now they just take up so much time with nothing to show at the end.

Hope you have a good day. Are you going to start painting your chest?

Well I think your contractor got lucky in dealing with you! I'm guessing this is his first job since he's been back? It could have been a whole lot worse for him and I think he's learned a good lesson.

Is BH doing his share of the work? It sounds like he's leaving a lot up to you. Don't be selfish, roo! Share! hehehe

No, I haven't started painting the dresser yet, maybe tomorrow. The washing machine drain line backed up last week. R and I spent the weekend trying to unclog it with no luck so yesterday I waited for the plumber to come and snake it out. He finished up about 5:30 last night so guess what I'll be doing today????

Yes, we were first cab off the rank. He and BH get on really well with their cancer stories and BH helped him a lot with literature he had been given as he went to a really good hospital that does so much extra for you. He came around a few times for a chat while he was recovering and he has really appreciated the consideration we have given him, especially when he had set a date to do the this bathroom and couldn't meet it. When he said his wife had had him, I even told him I didn't want him here because from the way BH had reacted, I knew it was doing his head in and was concerned at the mistakes he could unwittingly make.

BH is really blitzing things, so much only he can do and he has so much more energy than me and with his new knee he got last year he doesn't have the problems I have anymore. Heat doesn't seem to bother him either where I wilt quickly.

Do you have separate drainage for your washing machine? Mine just goes into the general laundry drain that is part of the house drainage and then into the sewer. If one thing backs up, everything does. Don't know what your plumbers are like, ours charge a bomb once they start with the eels.

We used to have a lot of trouble with tree roots, we had 3 gorgeous huge gumtrees in the back yard, right over our drainage line and had to constantly put tablets down to clear the roots. One got borer in and died and the other two came down after weeks of rain and then a really wild windy weekend. They came down on the house, a branch of one even came in the back door, put a new spin on indoor plants, but fortunately they didn't do any damage.

Had to get an emergency services team to come and cut them up though to get rid of them. Had my eldest grandson here at the time, he was only about 3 and he just sat in amazement watching them work and when they finished one dressed him up in his jacket and helmet and let him sit in the truck while I took photos.

I don't know enuogh about drains to know if our drainage is separate, sorry. I know the previous owner had all those large dogs that were given free reign (ruined the hardwoods) and we've had a ton of plumbing problems since we moved in because of the dog hair in the drains. We purchased a home warranty when we bought the house so we only have to pay a small deductible when things go wrong, but it's kind of funny. I have a friend who is the sole support of her and her hubby, and she only works two days a week, so I let her do her laundry here to help her out. The first batch she did the dryer broke and the second batch the pipes clogged up, so she thinks she's a jinx! She's coming back for more on Friday, fingers crossed !!!

Yikes, dog hair, ewwww. You would think it would have cleared by now. Your home warranty sounds interesting, we don't have anything like that. If it was anything like our private health insurance, it would probably by out of everyone's reach anyway.

Your friend is you son's ex fiance I think you mentioned once before?? Didn't realise that was only a recent occurrence. Would be scary. Hope for both your sakes nothing else happens.

Thanks, roo, yes she's my sons ex-fiance, she's a sweety. The home warranty has been a blessing, very inexpensive. I think it's $300/yr and we've def got our money's worth!

Wow, that is cheap - costs that much for a plumber to think about things.

Have to get to bed. Talk tomorrow.

Have a good night, roo!

Found this thread, thanks Eztia. Bobbi you never struck me as anything other than a lady! Is olldroo the former groovygranny? Is this a 'private' bit for your club or can I pop in from time to time?

I must say that as fairly easy going (read passive) female (much to my own annoyance - my husband is helping me assert myself) that mpoulsom your comments especially ring true regarding cars for me. I like your attitude. I had a little car issue, (my car my problem) but my husband told me that what I was saying was fine it was my way of saying it that was the problem. He had me practice my speech- I delivered it on the phone without my usual added on of 'if you wouldn't mind' (so passive) and hey with my newly acquired firm tone of voice I got what I wanted at the right price. Such a good feeling - I'm positively adamant these days!

Assertiveness is a good skill to cultivate.

Hi Lisa! Thanks, and yes olldroo is groovygranny. What happened was this......we found our OLLD thread in an on-line version of the San Francisco Chronicle and I think we were all shocked, thinking our comments were more private (HA!) so we changed our names to less identifiable ones. OLLDbob - I got lots of comments thinking I was a man so I changed it to OLLDbobbi.

This isn't a private chat per se, the only requirements is that you are at least 50 years old. So, if you qualify, please join us! We start a new thread everyday with the current date.

Good job on asserting yourself! That takes courage to do, especially if you've spent your life being too polite. And it's not easy, either, so pat yourself on the back and have a cup of coffee! Or better yet a fudge brownie...:))

Thanks Bobbi. I'm 46 so I guess I'm on occasional invites?

Definitely!

Fudge brownie mmmm I've never met a calorie I didn't like.

lisa, seriously! But worse, I never met a calorie that didn't like me! Or at least stick around too long :))

lisa, you have an official invitation to join the OLLD club, even tho you are still too young. Check in at 12/4!!!

Agree assertiveness is a great skill, but I have also cultivated a "look" that can say anything from "don't go there" to "are you for real". Works 9 times out of 10 and I don't even have to say a word. On this occasion with the builder it was the one in 10 it didn't work, but he does know it, he has had a few of them.

roo! Miy look says "seriously?". Must be very similar!

I think the age thing helps a lot too