That statement makes it seem that women live their lives trying to please everyone but themselves, I would hate to think that it's true.

My DH is not a big compliment giver so I never know if he likes what I'm wearing or not ; as far as decorating, he will sometimes voice a request or a preference, and I pay attention to that, unless it makes no sense.
I sollicit opinions when I am in a quandary over a decorating decision to be taken . If I'm sure I want something, I forge ahead and live with the consequences.

Age appropriate dressing: it's more of an effort since I turned 50 ; I wore a dress once and dd said it reminded her of Martha Stewart, bye bye dress.

I take great pains to have my home look a certain way, but it's all for my own pleasure. When I was with my exDH I had to consider him of course, but if he didn't like something, I wasn't upset about it. I didn't care one tiny bit about what other women thought of my home. I've never had anyone comment badly on my home, however, so it's never actually been put to the test. In my current home, I have a very loud, flowery shower curtain with a pink ruffle at the bottom. Nobody likes it. I love it. That's all that matters to me. In fact, I kind of like having "weird" things. I like misfit things. They remind me of me :O)

When it comes to how I dress and look, I, sadly, care alot what other people think. I don't obsess near as much, or spend near as much time, on my looks as I do my home. I'm a pretty low-maintenance gal. The only exception is my hair, which I have to straighten, because it's NUTS if left to it's own. If I didn't care what other people thought, I would let my hair get curly and huge, which it does if left to it's own. I hate clothes shopping - despise it!! I rarely shop for clothes. But I always worry about if I look OK in what I am wearing. I have been known to change outfits 3-4 times before leaving the house. I have avoided social situations because I felt that I didn't know what to wear or felt that I was too fat/plain/boring, etc. I haven't a clue how to "do" my hair (in an actual style or put it up), or how to co-ordinate outfits. I am the bluejeans and T-shirt sort. My nightmare is dressing up and going out dancing for the night. YUCK!!!! I'd rather be at home barefoot in the garden where nobody judges me.

I think maybe it's true just a little teeny bit. I DO care about what others think of my home. This house is my own. I designed it, I built it (with help of SH and friends) and I am decorating it. We've built other houses before (two before this one) but this is the first time I designed one myself. So I am proud of it and like for others to see it and approve. My adult daughter just loves everything about it. She says its the prettiest house she has ever seen (which I am sure is an exaggeration but I love her for it anyway....lol). But honestly, even if no one else would ever see this house, I love it and that's really all that matters.

Dressing for others....not me at all. I am a tee shirt and jeans kind of woman. I wear little make up, don't care much for jewelry (I'd much rather get a new tool as a gift), and hate shopping for clothes.

It's certainly not true for me. I dress for myself and decorate our home for us, no one else. Of course, it's nice if others admire what you've done LOL.

I'm lucky that my husband and I are pretty much on the same page when it comes to decorating. He is happy to leave much of it to me, but he does give input from time to time. I'd never buy something like a sofa, bed, etc. without seeing what he thought.

As for dressing, I know what works for me. What looks best, what colors are most flattering, etc. I think because I'm happy with it, he is. He does notice what I wear, and I do sometimes make a choice to wear something I know he likes me in (maybe a certain color, etc.).

There is alot of freedom in making choices for you (such as decorating and wardrobe) and not because of what other people think.

tina

"It's certainly not true for me. I dress for myself and decorate our home for us, no one else."

Ditto that!

I couldn't care less what men think of how I dress or what women think of my home....

I don't decorate for other women. Usually when I tell my friends or my mom what my latest decorating decision is, they roll their eyes in horror.

Sometimes I dress for my husband, usually I dress for me.

I definitely dress for women, including myself! DH loves me in jeans, T-shirt, and sandals with my hair pulled back, wearing glasses. I feel like a frump wearing that all day long. I have gal pals who don't care either, but some of them are as into clothes as this forum is into house decorating. It's not a status thing, they just really enjoy fashion. When we go out, I dress to the nines. It's fun and they appreciate the effort.
I also work in home furnishings, so being pulled together, polished, and a little trendy is part of the job.
Back in my 20's I dressed down to prove a point. I didn't have to impress anyone. I didn't want to be judged by my clothes. At the same time, I looked down on those women who went to salons, wore heels, and bought fashion magazines. I judged them for caring *too* much.

I confess, while I decorate for myself, I do do it a bit to garner envious compliments from others. DH hasn't got a clue how to express his style, and since he and I think so much alike, I decorate and he enjoys. If I do something he really hates, well, he tells me, but usually he's silent and then brags to everyone what I've done.

As for fashion...it's a little of both. I like comfy, I've never been a high maintenance girl, but I do like to dress up my outfits. I wear jewelry all the time, I have tons of it. I like to wear perfume when I can, and I like to wear classic clothing. But I (now) try to keep from looking too schlumpy, and sometimes I'll put on a snug t-shirt and a pair of pants that flatter when I know I'm going to be in a crowd. DH likes it when I get attention, and frankly, so do I.

Well, besides the fact that both statements are generalities and there are some of us here that definitely break the mold, I think that whether either statement might be true of YOU, has a LOT to do with your marital state, (if you're looking, you may be more likely to dress for men than if you're 35 years into a relationship!) your age, (as we age, we mostly get more secure in our choices and don't worry as much what men/other women think but more about how comfortable we are), and even, who your friends are..........peer pressure can be a strong influence on most of us.

But, having done all my usual legal disclaimers, here is what I "Really" think...

I think the "Women dress for men" line is pretty out-dated and out-of-touch with reality for women not still in their teens or 20's. If you walk into any mall and sit on a bench for 20 minutes, you can see that the vast majority of women over 29 do not dress for men. I don't even have to explain. Just watch.
But the "Women decorate for other women" comment is much closer to the truth. While many of us have our own signature colors and styles, like certain types of art and dislike others, lean towards heavy use of accessories or prefer a more streamlined look, have a definite idea about how we want our homes to 'feel'........we also seriously want other women to walk in and like what we've done. Any one of us who has ever posted a photo and asked, "What do you think?" is hoping to put together a room that pleases other women as well as herself.
Those of us who have rearranged furniture based on comments from our mothers, friends, or GardenWebbers, are looking for approval to an extent. If we weren't, we would just do the room and let everyone else go hang.
Even those here who are quite confident about choosing a paint shade ("I love bright, tropical colors!") or accessorizing a sofa ("Here are some kilim pillows I found for a song at Ebay!") or buying art and other accessories ("I've acquired most of my paintings and sculptures on trips to Europe!") are not only pleasing themselves with having things exactly as they enjoy them, but they know they are inspiring awe, complements, approval, and joy, in others. Else, why even post photos if we either don't care about approval or don't need help?

So.......all that said........I definitely want my husband and others to think I look nice, but I am way more about comfortable shoes and easy care clothing than I was when I was 29. But while I would not paint my living room blue even if every single one of you whom I admire and respect told me that blue was the color for the decade, I absolutely hope that someone venturing into my home or looking at a photo online is liking what they see.

Red

Red - I always enjoy what you've written. I've begun to think of you as a kind of female Magnaverde. :)

You know, that might have been true when I was younger, but as I age I find that my outlook on EVERYTHING has changed . . . or is it "matured"? I worked in hospitals for many years (with my first career) and that changed me. Life is precious to me now and I don't want to waste any of it, let alone base my happiness on what others think.
With my clothes, I've run the gamut from beach/surfer girl to sexy career woman to Donna-Reed-wife-mom-and-garden-club-woman to New Mexico Chic to now (for the past 20 years). That means that I dress comfortably in a classic, comfy, simple style that looks good on me . . . with some NM jewelry as accents ;^P I NEVER wear high heels because they hurt my feet. It's probably a good thing that I don't live in NYC! Current fashion trends usually don't mean much out here in New Mexico and I don't follow them anyway. My DH would love it if I never wore a pair of capris again, but I still do because I like myself in them. My DD thinks that I should dress "more Hip", but then again, she's 14 years old! I don't give a flying fig what anyone else thinks about what I wear, although I have to admit that DH thinks I look great . . . except in those capris and when I garden!
For my home, I've gone from Beachy Cottage (when I was single working gal in Florida) to garage sale Cottage back in Michigan to Contemporary when I first got married. DH had much nicer quality furniture than my garage sale stuff at the time, but I never felt comfy with that look. But, as much as I'm happiest with a Cottage look, it doesn't work here in the mountains of New Mexico. I don't decorate to impress my friends (they'd probably prefer something a bit more Contemporary). DH and I've learned to compromise over the years. He's also learned that 'If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!' I need to live in a home surrounded by the things I love and so does he. So our home is a true eclectic mix of New Mexico- Mexican-Western-Rustic-Contemporary style (ROFLAO!).
It'll never make a decorating magazine. It would probably drive Candice Olsen nuts, but we like it.
Lynn

What an awesome thread! I like comfort...in clothes, in shoes, in furniture. I also like to look cute (grandma over 50) so I wear things that are not typical grandma stuff (Quacker Factory gives me nightmares...and no elastic waist pants and BTW, I think polyester is of the devil). I have some cool jeans, leather & silver bracelets, some cotton cargo capri's, my very vintage-looking Keith Urban shirt. :)

For decorating, I am on my own, my Dh trusts me on things since he was raised in the backwoods and has no frame of reference except for paneling on every wall. I kid you not! Most of my friends are into jewel-tone wall colors, vibrant golds, reds, deep brown and greens, while I gravitate to BM's Pittsfield & Powell Buff. But to each his own.

Susan

I was reading a decorating magazine recently and the editor's letter said that one is either good at decorating or good at fashion, but seldom both. I must say I spend much more attention that how my house looks then purchasing designer clothes.

I'd rather spend my $$ on some new fabric for a chair than a new outfit. Anyone else feel like that?

"I'd rather spend my $$ on some new fabric for a chair than a new outfit. Anyone else feel like that?"

YES! I resent every $ spent on clothes, but I have totes full of fabrics that I bought just because they are so beautiful.

I'd rather spend my $$ on some new fabric for a chair than a new outfit. Anyone else feel like that?

Yes and no...I don't buy fancy things but after working so hard to lose 140 lbs in 4 years (diet and exercise only), I have to admit I'm tickled to pull things off the rack (in the misses section!) and they fit!

So maybe the thrill will wear off eventually, but for now I'm over the moon. :)
Susan

Valinsv, I have heard that outdoor gardeners are not good with indoor plants and vise versa, and of course, there are always exceptions to the rule: My sister who is an interior designer has also modeled and has great taste and style, much money and a beautiful, well-thought-out wardrobe. She is a well-kept woman, with a very wealthy and admiring hubby of many years who sent her to Barbizon early marriage after our mother sent her to college. :) I am also very happy for her. While I on the other hand, schlep through most things, I am very good at outdoor gardening and cannot get a cactus to live indoors (do they grow indoors? oh, yes, those mother-in-law tongue thingies).

This has been a great thread to follow with all the opinions and so many similar ones. We are WOMAN.

I don't quite grasp the concept of dressing or decorating for someone else. I do enjoy dressing in a feminine manner, but I do it because that's what I like to see and feel on my own body, not because I think someone else may approve. As for decorating my home, I do it strictly for me and my DH. I don't care about impressing anyone (and I think that's obvious! LOL!), but I do care very much about surrounding us with things that make us feel happy and bring to mind many good memories.

I'm selfish! I dress for *me* and decorate for *me*, and that's' just the way I like it. LOL I'm not looking for validation on either. Of course with 5 kids i've heard a comment or two on some of my choices on both, but I remind them that I *am* the queen bee. Ha! Like auntjen, i'm not 'into' impressing anyone, nor do I impress easily. I feel good in my skin and in my home. ;o)

Auntjen and patty cakes.........couldn't have said it any better myself. I like what I like and so be it!

Maybe.

I try to work with pieces of inherited furniture that we love. We have some very nice older pieces and we have some pretty cheap ones I've faux painted to be more "important". Some of them look pretty, "boss", too.

Helpmeet has full veto power but has never exercised it, so I must be doing something right with respect to our personal and collective decorcorating sensibilities.

Don't know what you want me to say.

I am not a clothes person. I buy inexpensively and for comfort. I do make an attempt to flatter or hide certain things, but I clothes shop so rarely.

I'd much rather concentrate on my home. Maybe because I "see" it more. I don't really look at myself too often! :)
I do like it when someone says something nice about what I've done. I work hard at it. Lots of hours prepping, painting, cleaning up, then finally decorating. THAT takes a while, too, since I don't buy things all at once. It's a process and when someone is complimentary, it renews the feeling of satisfaction of finishing a job well.

We had some friends stay overnight a while ago and her not-so-nice comments did get to me for a bit. We have completely different tastes in what we surround ourselves with, so I can see how she wouldn't care for her own home to be done like mine. I guess I just assumed people can look beyond individual style and see the care that goes into making a pleasant atmosphere even though you don't like the same colors.
I think I figured out what it was in the end, and my feelings aren't hurt anymore. I DO decorate for myself. I ask DH's opinion, but we both know it's my thing. He's not really that interested in most of the choices. When you befriend someone who is interested, it's nice to share your finds and results. It's even nicer when they like it :)

I know I decorate for myself. Fifteen years ago, in another home, I horrified everyone by painting the living room a soft pink. I thought it showed off my antique prints, most of which were a buttery color. The way I heard them talk, it was Pepto Bismol pink. At the time, "eggshell" and "neutral" was very, very in.

As for dressing, I go for comfort but also like to display a little bit of "zing". Something got into me a decade ago (late 30's) and I started to pay a little more attention to selecting a piece of jewelry, even if it was simple, to go with t shirt and jeans. And to have nicer outfits to wear to work and social functions. I think there is just something inside of me that doesn't want to lose my personal "zing" or whatever it is that I have.

P.S. I have really become a hat person in the last few years. Gives a whole new perspective on an outfit! Won't say that I dress for men, though. I guess it's for me!