It's the only way! Men have no vision let alone seeing ours. We did get the kitchen done like I wanted and are now in the bathroom. Sigh.....I have the world's best most patient carpenter BUT.......I'm trying to wave my arms here and there explaining how it WILL look when he's done. And then as if I am a mute, he tells me what we COULD do. Hello...........

Your post is hilarious, and an alternative I hadn't really considered. I went with a BS trim I now can't live with because my kitchen husband called the first trim I selected "evil"-looking. He also talked me into SS appliances, which I find unbearably hard to keep fingerprints, etc., off of. Thanks for the early-morning laugh!

We put the handle in the front on a faucet of this general type and it works fine, you may want to try it. The Allora handle does look like it sticks out farther in relation to the water outlet on ours though.

It goes the other way, too. After getting dh to sit in every kitchen chair I could, I finally choose some from RH that were very similar to some he had liked. So, he sits in them and wonders out loud if it could have a back cushion, too. I say sure and start to get something for him to try.

He says to never mind because "it would ruin the look". He's a freaking engineer. I can't make up my mind between divorce or (evil grin) introducing him to the decorating forum.

My DH thinks the "before" photos on the GW Kitchen Forum are the "after" and vice versa. He loves our old 1970s kitchen and all the ones that look like it.

Oh lordy...LOL too funny. I have to say the advantage of being a single divorced female is I got my kitchen done how I wanted it in my new home. I can't imagine having to struggle over colors, style, materials, etc. and certainly admire all of you who hold out for what you want.

I'm still laughing florantha...that is hysterical!!!

Y'all are all too funny :-D Still LOL at florantha's dh and the 70's kitchens.

And, what is it w/ guys not wanting to paint wood? I'm considering painting some of my orang-y oak stained BR furniture (bought as a *suite* 17 yrs ago--cuz that's just what ya did!), and I already know what he's gonna say...! Oh, and I'm prob. gonna paint all the trim in our MBR, too. Not sure how much decorating stress he can take all at once, though!

Mine has gotten over the painting wood thing and if we ever build again, says we're doing painted woodwork! Never thought I'd see that day.

Every once in awhile, he comes in the kitchen and questions the location of something and tries to rearrange...Like putting all the measuring spoons back on their ring and nesting all the measuring cups. When I need something quickly, I do NOT want to deal with a handful of spoons or unstacking cups. Gaah. Today, he wanted to pare down what was on the kitchen bulletin board...We sent him out! He's improved, though. He used to lecture about how I should 'clean as I go' and did things like put my mixing spoon in the dishwasher when I had my back turned and hadn't finished using it. He wouldn't be the one to want things out on the counter...he'd be shoving them away even if they didn't fit and we used them every 5 minutes. Funny how his tools seem to stay out wherever he's working on a project. "Well, I'm coming back to finish that..." Even though it's been a month since it was last worked on... ;-)

You CAN upgrade men! Unfortunately, it's a DIY project.

My DH is perfect or should I say a perfectionist. So much so that I hope I will live long enough to see my finished kitchen. He just spent the better part of a week stringing wires and rerouting gas lines to rig up a proper interim kitchen in the basement laundry room! Complete with old gas cooktop! (So I know I'm in for a really long siege . . . . .) Gotta love it though -- cause I know --however long it takes -- It's gonna be done RIGHT!

My husband's contribution to the planning with new appliances was to get the Black&Decker toaster oven with the undermount toolkit - because "mounting under the cabinets saves counter space" I told him no way was I undermounting a $30.00 black&decker under my new custom cabinets! totally clueless!

LOL! In our family, I'm the one that prefers stained wood...my DH is willing to paint anything, I'm the one saying, "Don't you dare, that's beautiful wood!"

If we ever build again I want dark stained woodwork & trim. I know, I'm "outdated", but that's what I love! [We couldn't afford it when we built in '95.] I also want an all-brick or all-stone house exterior...something that he never used to like but now agrees with me!

My DH is like yours RHome410...he thinks I should do all the cleanup as I go and is also putting dishes in the sink or DW b/f I'm done using them! The funny thing is that I do pretty much clean as I go since that's what I had to do for over 12 years in our old kitchen due to lack of counterspace. I keep telling him he should have been around when I was growing up...my mom never cleans up as she goes. It used to frustrate my father no end!

As to jem199's faucet issue...try it w/the handle in the front. I'm contemplating changing my Vinnata's handle so it's in the front. Quite a few people here have mentioned they like it in the middle b/c there's less water all over the countertop. With the handle on the right or left, you often end up with a puddle of water on the counter under the handle. With it in the middle, the water drips off your hands and back into the sink.

Good luck!

SadieBrooklyn...put in under-cabinet lighting...then your DH can't "surprise" you one day w/the toaster oven (or anything else) already installed!

Those of you who have been here for awhile have lived through my kitchen ups and downs with my DH. He battled me on every detail on the layout. Once I conceded on a layout that preserved the space he wanted for a sunroom (and I couldn't be happier that we did that); he whined and complained about how much work it would be to take out walls to open the space (tiny house). He orginally wanted me to keep the old kitchen layout that had zero counter and a doorway to the left of the range and a roughly 8x9 kitchen with a peninsula that you had to walk sideways and suck in your gut to pass the dining table. So we may have took 3 years but on each point that DH conceded; he marveled at how amazing it made the space look.

The man may have taken his time but he has worked like a dog. He's disabled (bum leg) and even though strong and talented; a couple days of hard work takes it's toll on him. He's a perfectionist to the eenth degree. And I'm random, rambunctious, and careless. I want to just start slapping paint on the wall, and he takes a full day to prep and tape. I create and have vision; he has none but makes what I want happen. Hence... I wasn't allowed to paint much ... only the interior of windows and such. Everything I dreamed of is coming together.

My point is there were points where I questioned EVERYTHING... as if this remodel were a parable for life. Maybe is was cause we preservered and are still standing.

BTW.. his taste just sucks. He won't even question me anymore. I'm getting, "whatever you think honey"; 'cept now he means it.

Stand strong... you'll get through this!

He must have good taste in his life partner, Remodelfla! That's what really counts. :-D

my next goal is to get DH to agree to the under counter seltzer dispenser/cooler so that we don't have to buy a second fridge to store all his "beverage service" not to mention keeping all the seltzer bottles on top of the cupboards. I keep telling him it is time to "go green". Luckily he doesn't drink as much beer as seltzer ;+)

My husband retired last year. For our entire married life he was too busy to really participate in any household type decisions. He only cared about budget. I never realized how lucky I was. My new nickname for him is "now that I am retired--I have an opinion on everything, Dennis"

My DH and I took on a new build when the biggest joint project we'd ever embarked upon was a new floor installation. We're playing GC on this new build.
Strike 1: DH told the framer, "Nah, she doesn't really want to expand that bathroom anymore." I guess I spent 8 weeks agonizing over the layout of my daughter's bathroom for no reason. I came home from work one day, checked on the house and it was already framed, minus my layout change.
Strike 2: "She doesn't need a sink in the laundry room, what is this, the Taj Mahal?" So I ordered an attractive looking deep sink for the basement half bath because it's next to the laundry room and I get nagged because it wasn't the $40 plastic one from the Depot.
Strike 3: My kitchen needs to have the range slid into place and the fridge slid into place to be considered finished. I asked him if we could do it on Friday and again today. I'm dying to call it done and clean it. I attached the top grille to the fridge, tried to slide in place and almost broke the surrounding cabinets. I guess I needed to make sure it was level before squeezing it in.
Strike 4: He said my hex tile looks like his elementary school lavatory and that my black and white checkerboard laundry room floor looks like NASCAR!!!!!
Strike 5: He snapped at me for walking across the hardwood floors in heels. Said I was going to scratch them.
Oh I needed this vent...............

Oh twosit, you made me LOL!

I was very lucky with our kitchen reno--DH kept on saying that I had 75-80-85% of the vote (changed depending on the day or week!) if we were unsure of or disagreed on anything. Luckily, our taste is much the same when it comes to style/decor (surprisingly), so I never had to invoke my whatever % (except when it came to cost, like financing the fridge @ 0% financing for a yr--paid back months earlier, so we'd have the cash to do the backsplash and get the fridge at the same time--DH had to be convinced about that).

Now, we're doing the bathrooms, and we pretty much see eye-to-eye on everything again, that is, except for the shower curtain for the hall bathroom. I told him I'm finally invoking (cashing-in he says!) my 85% vote that I never got to use during the kitchen reno!!!

My husband has Attention Deficit Disorder. He tells everyone he has O.C.D. because he "thinks" he's a perfectionist, but I keep telling him "If you had O.C.D., you wouldn't leave crumbs and tea stains all over the counter top". As you can imagine, his problem is focus. I keep showing him our inspiration photos. Today he tried to convince me to get a stainless steel chimney range hood with glass and blue neon lights to go in our Traditional White Kitchen. Um, NOT! Thank goodness it was too pricey. :D

He works from home, so I always have to worry about what he is doing when left to his own devices. I have started checking the bank account each day looking for charges from Lowes. If there is a charge, I know there is a surprise waiting for me at home. Oh dread.

lololol I can soooooo relate. I have to say DH has been great during the later weeks of this project. Before the demo started he drove me nuts and had an opinion on everything. Finally he gave up about 2 weeks in when he found I really DID know what I was doing -- I ain't been readin' this forum for 7 years for nothin' yanno. I knew I would finally be ok when he told the GC about 3 weeks into it - ask her, it's her kitchen, whatever she wants. OMG I nearly fainted. I've held him to that ever since. He finally trusted me on the tile and granite and paint selections. Every now and then though, I throw him a bone and ask his opinion about something that I can live with if he picks "wrong" (hah - meaning doesn't pick what I want).

Guess what my dh bought for the kitchen many years ago?

The under cabinet black & decker toaster oven!!!

And he installed it himself!!!

I hated it then but I've come to appreciate that we do, indeed, have more counter space. Ya get used to ugly.

But who said he could also buy and install an undercabinet radio and another undercabinet radio with a cd player ?? They all have clocks. He loves clocks. And I love when the power goes out and he has to grumble, grumble, change a zillion clocks.

And he knows he ain't touching the new kitchen. Doesn't even ask.

Son and I call DH the "Hider." He has this awful habit of putting things away and then forgetting where he put them. Or he throws stuiff out we need. We *were* collecting the baseball team name Pepsi caps.

For Halloween I'm going to get my DH a superhero costume, with a big letter C on the chest. For Controlling Man!

Thank goodness we're almost done with our remodel.

Mine has been good, overall. I just get a little prickly when he talks of when "we" get the kitchen done. I reminded him yesterday that I will still have cabinets to sand, touch-up and polyurethane when the contractor is done. (We/I got a used kitchen from Green Demolitions and it needs scrubbing and retouching.) I asked if maybe he wants to help at that stage! I know I am the queen of imagining, fitting, and designing and I would not have wanted interference at that stage, but it would be kind of nice for him to google "how to apply polyurethane" or learn SOME skill that will help with the real work!

He thinks he has done a lot when I ask him to go with me to a store to look at tiles, or when I present him with samples and ask his opinion. He did choose the backsplash listello. I like it well enough, but miss the beauty of the ones with water jet cut curves that cost twice as much. I keep telling myself that I would never have spent $34 a linear foot for those, but still....

OMG...I am crying in laughter. Bless all of you for persevering through these renovations.

OK, tonight sometimes I could kill him.

I've been waiting 15 years for this kitchen... 7 years of planning and reading and planning some more...

I've spent 9 weeks eating grilled burgers and CRAP..

HE KNEW I'd have to go back out on the road consulting eventually and Sunday night I have to leave again. I've had several weeks reprieve from that at home -- working from home and also herding contractors (its like herding cats). Now the kitchen is practically done and my travel is going to intensify at the same time.

The kitchen is ready for us to move back into as of 3 days ago and I've been doing what I can (working from home 10 hours a day - and I mean working.. conference calls, documents due, etc..) and it's Thursday night.

2 nights ago he said, "well we'll move in a little at a time. I want us to dust and clean first and take our time. We'll do a little bit each night." I've busted my butt every night after work to do this, and he gets home from his work and can't help me cut a shelf liner. He says we'll do most of it Saturday.

Saturday???? I have to pack saturday to leave sunday. That means he'll get to enjoy the new kitchen all week, and I'll be gone. I won't even get to see it. And next weekend I'll be scrambling to do my laundry again so I can leave sunday again.

What is WRONG with men that they just cannot grasp concepts????

I just wanted to spend the rest of my week in my new kitchen, and not eat off a friggin paper plate. So instead I have to leave and eat resturant food for ANOTHER week while he gets to eat in the new kitchen.

ARRRGHHGHGHG @#$R#$ghghgt 3@$#$#$

I bypassed this thread previously because I've only had time for snatches on the forum recently... and when I got married I decided I would never (OK, try to never) criticize my DH in front of anyone else. I have not been perfect in that, so I for sure don't deny anyone else the need to do so. But after picking myself up off the floor from laughing, I think maybe I'll apologize to all the men who dared to open this thread... if any did. Maybe they were smarter than that!

But Jem, I have to say, my DH and yours have to be twins on the leaving things out. And Rhome, I must be your DH's twin, because my DH can't turn his back without keeping his cup or utensil in his hand, lest I sweep it into the DW. (Remember the thread I started about how to keep everyone using the same cup all day? Turns out I'm the biggest culprit of all!)

I also have to say that under-cabinet appliances are one of the reasons I have no upper cabinets! He can't mount it on air!

And now I have to say that I have a wonderful DH and he's generally been very good about all our decisions, participating but conciliatory in most things, right in those things he's held to.

Glad I did open it finally... thanks for the laugh!

Great! Now I'm going to feel horrible about saying this.... But I will anyway. We are doing the standard white kitchen, Something's Gotta Give inspired. Today, DH brings a box into the kitchen and I say... "What's that?", he says "A new canister". I'm thinking something white, maybe with a french flare.. well half way - it's a gigantic RED Le Creuset canister. RED?!?! In a traditional white kitchen? RED? Really?

Cindyandmocka, I got the biggest chuckle over your "herding cats" reference. It reminded me of my favorite commercial of all time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk7yqlTMvp8
Maybe I have a warped sense of humor but I find it hysterical.

Glad there is so much consensus. Also, you have my sympathy if you feel... well, whatever. But I'm not sure if this thread is worth reading carefully or even keeping in the archives. Can somebody tell me if there is any information in the above posts?

David, even though you question whether there is any information in the above posts, surely you have read the large number of gw members who, in response to the posts, laughed, chuckled, cried in laughter, hee-hawed and/or were otherwise tickled to read of the uh, um, minor quirks of our so's?

When I think of the term, 'dh' in re my present dh of 35 years, I do think of 'darling' as the adjective. Nevertheless, some of these posts triggered my recall of dh#1 and 'dreck head' is the operative phrase.

I gave you fodder and anticipate your response. (What a shock!)

We just spent a year building the best house we possibly could within a budget we can afford. One visit from my mother inlaw and we already have renovations to do.

My husband LOVES our bright blue countertops from 1991 - says they are nostalgic. We had just had our first child when I selected them. I have heard that nursing women have trouble staying focused.... It's funny, though, that he just bought his "mid-life" crisis car, but I'm supposed to still LOVE my countertops!

Instead of upgrading, how about REPLACING!!!

My DH is pretty perfect, but if I ever do upgrade, I'm getting the guy who cornered the market on chocolate--and took delivery on all those cocoa beans!

Here is a link that might be useful: This guy