I wouldn't finalize the order yet. Is there any construction to be done? If so, leave a little wiggle room (filler) in your cabinet order in case there's a change in the exact measurements. Also, unless the cabinet appearance is your number one want in the kitchen, it's better to choose all of your major finishes before locking yourself in.

General order of design choices is to start with the least variable, biggest, most expensive things and work your way down. With a kitchen that means the appliances and workflow layout. You can't order cabinets if you don't know what appliances you want and are sure they fit where you want them. For instance, 30" cooktops could be anything from 28" to 32". Some fridges open next to a wall, some don't. Some oven handles prevent a fridge opening all the way. Some are specifically designed so they won't get in the way.

I'm surprised that your KD would place an order before having the measurements of your exact appliances, etc.

After appliances comes the storage design, and the choice of door finishes that will look good with the appliances, countertops that will work with both, and flooring that will set them off. These should all be chosen together.

You can add backsplash and paint later, though it's sometimes easier to do them all at once because a little change here can imply a big change there.

I would make all the decisions physically possible, and get the items ordered and delivered, before starting work. When you're doing construction it often has to wait for real measurements, which aren't usually exactly what's in the plans. But when you have to do that (as I did) you can end up with materials delays that suspend your job.

Lights should be chosen as soon as you have a layout (amount and location of light, and the wiring it'll need), though the actual fixtures are put in lastish. and you can choose interchangeable fixtures later in the process.

Designing is only part of the thinking. You will need to get out a calendar and figure out things like...

--which one of you is the "go to" person who will take phone calls and leave the day job if necessary to deal with issues related to the kitchen project
--locating and reading catalogs and websites
--interviewing or studying subcontractors and vendors if the GC does not
--examining displays and requesting samples
--setting a budget and talking to a lender for any financial support
--learning one another's tastes so that you can make acceptable decisions and work out a procedure for compromises and concessions (this usually requires field trips, such as parade of homes; at the very least it requires library books and magazines and pamphlets and color samples)
--learning about construction so that you understand what the terminology is and what the reasons are for various aspects of the work (requires mentors or lots of reading)
--documenting the decisions, the process, the purchases, any products to be returned or repaired/redone
--learning about the limits of what can be expected for the services you are buying and discussing the potentials for delay and additional expense which will inevitably occur
--planning the "life without a kitchen" coping period and the packing/unpacking of kitchen contents
--planning the storage of things that cannot remain in place during the work and the tasks that cannot be left undone during the work (mowing? bathing? moving between floors? childcare?)

I know that I spent much too much time focusing on colors and handles and light fixtures and etc. at the beginning and missed the "process" piece until an unacceptable process had already evolved and was entrenched. It's essential to work at keeping the talk between the players pleasant and productive from the start.

In addition to appliances before cabinets, you must know your exact sink and what sink base it needs. Just made the last tweak to my cabinet order based on that yesterday!

I don't know if this is the "best" order, but here's what I did:

1. General appliance plan (I want a range versus a wall oven, change fridge to counter depth, etc.)
2. General cabinet plan
3. Designer
4. Color scheme
5. Specific color/brand/doorstyle of cabinets
6. Narrowing down appliances
7. Cabinet estimate
8. Counters/fixtures/lighting concepts/paint chips - designer grabbed all these together
9. Sink

10. Knobs/pulls - style, but not specific which size on which door yet
11. Lighting design, and final selection of lighting fixtures (I changed one fixture and moved two from designer's picks)
12. Tile for backsplash
13. Cabinet measure. Placement of knobs & pulls
14. Final appliance selections
15. Fabric
16. Paint final choices

Not shown: Interviewing contractors--has been ongoing since hiring designer, but more serious after step 11 when most materials were ready.

Thank you for your responses. Very helpful!

plllog - thank you for the suggested sequence. Our KD IS requiring us to provide final appliance selections before placing the final cabinet order. Good to know that she is doing it "as she should":) And thank you for suggesting we have everything in hand before GC starts work.

florantha - thank you for pointing out the non-material aspects of the process. I think we have most of these figured out (i.e. DH works from home so he will be here for those issues that come up and to keep an eye on things). But always good to have a checklist of "those other things" to work out before we get started.

janet - thank you for pointing out the need to select the sink also...I did not have that on my list of appliances to select before finalizing the cabinets. Good point.