Sounds like you would lose the breakfast nook. Do you really need office space or a 5th bedroom? Will you have a finished basement that you can carve some space for an office area? (Our finished basement has a sofa bed)
With my children grown we have repurposed a bedroom into my office. I now have twin beds where there was one before adding additional guest space when needed.
My first impression for resale, is to go with the breakfast nook. As popular as islands are, there are still many of us who like to sit lower at a kitchen height table. Kitchens and bathrooms are what sells the house.

no we will still have the breakfast nook, its not huge but i am doing a rounded banquette seating into the wall to save space. I do work from home and a home office is an absolute must. If we give up the office then i will have to make one in the basement which wasnt' a first choice. So it boils down to 1st floor small office which is convenienet but smaller kitchen or large kitchen which will feel really open and airy and office in the basement. What do you think? Our builder said he needs us to make a decision this week.

Are all 4 bedrooms already occupied? Will your basement have full size windows? If I worked from home I think I would want a full window in my office but new homes have much more livable basements than my older home and as long as it felt like the main floors, I would have no issues and might even like that it was a bit removed from the main living area's distractions and in which case I would have the larger kitchen.But if it is not a full sized basment than I would keep the small kitchen. Good luck it is always a balance of compromise isn't it?

You don't say how many children or how old they are, but I'd stay with the breakfast nook for sure unless I needed that fifth bedroom as a bedroom and nothing else.

I'm thinking you could incorporate in your plans some sort of hidden or drop-down desk within a cabinet that would both compliment your kitchen and serve as the computer area/office space for you. If you need more space for files or materials for your line of work -- create an additional working space in the basement.

It is a full sized basement, ceilngs are 8 and 9 feet tall, thing is we werent planning on finishing it right away but I cannot be without an office (run a balloon company from home) but we could section off the basement and finish up maybe 1/4 or more of it for now, I am just torn about how important gaining that extra 6 feet or so is for the kitchen and for resale. How important is having a 5th bedroom or home office on the main floor?
In the basement we have some small windows but its not walkout or anything like that. Kids are 10,12 and 15. And I need an actual office with a good sized space.

Kitchens are the heart of the home - the place where much time is spent. Will the 5th bedroom be used that much?

Sounds like all bedrooms are in commission for at least the next 3 years... It is a tough call but it does sound like your need for an office might trump the want of a larger kitchen. TO me your smaller version is still quite a bit larger than my small kitchen.

I agree with roarah. Since you can still have the breakfast nook, go with the small room for your office. Don't worry about resale. I don't think that this will be a deal breaker. It is not as if they will KNOW you chose to make the kitchen smaller. They will come in and see a great kitchen. On that note, they may not like your taste at all and want to redo it etc. Too much of a guessing game, so get what works for you now.

I'd do the bigger kitchen. For one, you have a decent size family and before you know it, it will gain gfs, bfs and spouses. When they move out, you can steal one of their old brs for your office.
I'd make a nice, functional space in your bsmt for the office. Some floating floor and heat is all you really need to get going. You can fix it up more later. I work from home at times, and find I move my laptop all over the house with me. We need an office more for files, office supplies, etc... I do not sit in it at all. You could even set yourself up at the kitchen table if it is not at meal times. When the kids are in school, you can work from there. A phone and computer are your most important tools I am guessing. The balloon supplies can be arranged in the bsmt. Ikea has some wonderful storage solutions. It need not be fancy, but it does need to function for you.

BTW - I am a full time realtor with over 20 years experience, if that makes any difference. People get excited over kitchens more than any other room in a house.

If your office was downstairs, Would you be running upstairs all the time to check on anything? sounds like your kids are older and the office could really be a get-some-work-done kind of office. Or you could banish your kids to the basement=).

Is your 5th bedroom office going to be enjoyable? Or will it feel cramped? Do you have a nice view?

If you take out the 5th bedroom/office and want to sell your house, I would think that the people looking at the house would say - wow what a functional basement - susie could sleep down here (if they needed an extra bedroom) or this would be perfect for *my* office. If the people looking at your house want a big kitchen, they will look elsewhere.

5-6 years is a LONG time to suffer if you want your office upstairs - so do it for *you*.

Best of luck

I'm having a hard time picturing the 5th bedroom/office out of a 16x6 foot space. I can see an office across a long, narrow space, -- even a couple of them, or office and crafts/projects areas, but I'm wondering if this is really a viable guest room. Or is there something I'm missing?

Your 16x20 is larger than my kitchen and breakfast room, so it's not a square footage issue to me -- it's a usable space issue. Big kitchens can be great -- they can get too big or harder to make function smoothly. Small kitchens can very challenging -- or perfect little cockpits. You can have a full room office or make an office from a closet, a freestanding armoire, lots of options.

A 5th bedroom is rarely essential. A second bedroom and full bath can be a plus for folks who have aging parents or need a live in for care of someone, but by the time you are looking to sell, the aging baby boomer population will have peaked and that the trend towards smaller and more sustainable may be a greater influence. But aren't you building this home for you and your family? Second guessing a resale market a generation away is not the best way to get what you need. Focus on your family.

The kitchen is the heart of our home, so I would make sure that space was the best I could make it and then look at what worked around that for things that are more flexible like office and guest room space.