So sorry to hear this... my thoughts are with you and your family.

Sending prayers and good thoughts -- I am so sorry to hear this news.

Theresse --

Oh my. It turns out that people who can occasionally be quite brusque with one another over the finer points of kitchen planning can also rise kindly to human urgency. You have the prayers of believers, the encouraging insights of people who have experience with similar maladies, the wonderfully forthcoming fact-based orientation of ideagirl2, and people like me doing propitious lurching dances under the solstice full moon.

From each according to our means, best wishes for the earliest possible news that a good outcome is in the offing.

Please let us know how things progress as you have the info and the inclination.

Carole

Sending more positive healing vibes your way and keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you and your family.

Theresse,

Your story has touched us all. I can't imagine going through the uncertainty and fear. But I'm encouraged by the stories people have posted here about their recoveries -- I wish the same for your husband. I will pray for strength, courage, healing and peace for your DH and for you and your boys as well.

Please allow yourself to accept the offers of help and love that are sure to be coming your way. Those offers are part of God's answer to everyone's prayers for your family, so go ahead and lean on all those shoulders.

Huge comforting hugs to all of you,

Chris

Thinking of you this morning. The support of the forum surrounds you all in this stressful time. Something to hold onto. We are praying that your life will go back to normal and all will be well.

I have been thinking of you and your family a lot over the last few days and keep praying for you five and praying for wisdom for the doctors taking care of your husband. Amy

Theresse, Prayers coming from MN. Hang in there!!

Sending prayers your way for you and your husband and your family. Peace be with you, as much as possible, during this difficult time.

Sending positive thoughts and adding you and your DH in my prayers.

Thanks for sharing this with us - it is a reminder to us all about what we are all here for - to help and support one another through troubling times (construction and otherwise). My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

sadie

Theresse, I can't add anything more than what's already been said. I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's health concerns. I'm praying for your husband, you, and your children and have added all of you to our church's prayer chain. Please take care of yourself!

(((((((Theresse))))))) Because you can never have too many hugs!

Oh my goodness! What a bolt from the blue and at so young an age.

Sending positive thoughts your way and with all the advancements of modern medicine expect that he will be perfectly mended. I wish you and your DH all the very very best for the season.
(((((Theresse))))

Sending good thoughts and wishes for medical wisdom for those who care for your husband.

What a difficult thing you are facing-and you must be so young as well.

Still Waters gave you wonderful advice...let people help you (it is a really hard thing to do-you have to practice!). Remember that you are gifting them with the spirit of giving.

I will be another who will be sending good thoughts and wishes for you all.

imp

Positive thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

Oh, so sorry! Lots of prayers going up from GW, and add mine as well, for your husband, praying for doctor's wisdom, and your family strength as you go through this.

There's no greater gift than God's healing and at this time of year, we are all reminded of this from your story.

I will be praying as well.

Theresse - joining the others to send healing thoughts to you and your family.... x

Theresse (that is such a pretty name btw), I've just said my own prayer for you, your husband, and your boys. May God give you the strength to come through this ordeal with strength and love and grace. Sending all good thoughts your way.

Hoping for the best for your family and for your husband. And, thanking God for the fact he has been able to spread love throughout your life and your children lives. Sending hugs and comfort your way.

Theresse,

I am hoping that things are looking a bit better for your DH.

A little over 18 months ago my family was affected by something somewhat similar that left my DH with an initial EF of 20-25%, with acute, serious HF, some other organ damage and possibly in need of a heart transplant. I was as terrified, distraught and bewildered as you are today.

Keep this picture in your mind: Yesterday my DH was out in the field with me pounding in fence posts through the frozen earth on our farm. He works out in the gym 3X week for a couple of hours; running and lifting weights. It wasn't that way at first, of course, but over time he has gotten much, much, better.

What I understand from your description of your DH's situation in your initial post leads me to believe that your DH has an even better chance at significant improvement and recovery than my DH.

I send my thoughts and prayers to join the ones of the others here. When my DH was in CICU, I found this community's caring very comforting so I hope you will wrap it around you, now, and let it buoy you up.

I also second the rec for CoQ-10. My DH takes 1200 mg/day. (There's a blood test you can take to test actual blood levels; sometimes you have to just keep increasing the dosage to get high enough for clinical effect.)

L.

Thinking about you and your family here in Canada. Sending hugs and good wishes. Take care.

I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear about your husband's illness. Definitely do what the others advise and let friends help out in any way they can. I know it's hard when you are a busy mom and accustomed to doing for everyone else, but you need to conserve as much energy as possible. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and please keep us all posted.

Dear Therese,
i am keeping your Husband and family in my thoughts and prayers.

Best Wishes,
Rosaleen

Blessings and peace...and prayers for good health to you and your family this holiday season....

Theresse,

Checking in to see if there is news. I am praying the crisis is easing for you and your DH.

I sent you my contact numbers and email addy through your linked email address from this forum.

Please don't hesitate to use them, at any time of day.

L

Everyone,

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for your amazing, amazing, amazing kindness and generosity of spirit. I'm going to show my husband this thread. I told him about it and I don't think he understands just how powerful and healing this feels to read all your comments. This is really going to help him! I also don't think he has a clue just how many of you have responded! He must read this, tomorrow (Friday, Christmas Eve). Well it is Friday already but 2:24 in the morning...i just got back from my first chance to shop for gifts! Soooo tired, as you can imagine!

My husband's having a rough time but has learned that if he eats VERY little, and drinks very little, and avoids almost all sodium (1 gram per day but not too much of it in one meal), he can go longer periods of time without terrible indigestion and nausea (nausea from the meds). His blood pressure was very low to begin with due to the nature of his particular kind of CHF which makes it hard to find the right balance of meds because the best med to help repair the heart is one that brings the blood pressure down even lower which puts him at risk. So it's a balancing act which will take time, and of course my hope is that nothing goes wrong while we wait for the balance, of the act, to be found.

He's angry, sad, depressed, irritable. We got lucky and found a very reputable cardiologist but when our cardiologist heard about it he dropped us before we were officially switched over so - since his appointment with the new, very good cardiologist isn't until Jan. 3rd - we're in between doctors and according to both docs' medical assistants, neither of them can really talk to us/give advice since we're in between docs! How ridiculous is that!? Well if we get very desperate before then, i'll call and self-advocate (or for my husband I should say ;) and don't worry - I'll make them help us. It's just frustrating, the red tape, and that I should be made to fight for what's right. Shesh. I'll complain about it on the 3rd of Jan. (nicely) because they should know that's unacceptable.

Anyway, I'm just waiting to see:

- if the meds kick in sometime soon - including if the diuretics will help reduce his swollen stomach and make him less nauseous (not sure if that discomfort is from the organs not working well due to not getting enough blood pumped to them or if it's just the water issue alone)
- if my husband's mood picks up a bit if he starts to feel physically better
- if the regime he now has about eating very little food will help a lot, too
- if he'll be able to go back to work soon enough so that he doesn't lose his job

Your positive stories/experiences mean so much and I can't wait to share those with my husband! Your deliberate, positive thoughts and prayers are so needed and so very much appreciated (I can't thank you enough!!!) and thank you also for the community prayers...I really believe that where more than one person send positive energy together, it can make a difference. I already feel you all are making a difference, I really do. Last night was the first night my husband didn't have a terrible throwing-up session involving almost screaming and terrible discomfort while trying to fall asleep in bed. And tonight I was able to leave a friend at my house and do late-night Christmas shopping (once I put the boys to bed and could see that they were asleep) and when I came back and checked on him, my husband was fast asleep. So while I'm still out-of-this-world scared, and taking one day at a time, I feel that today was doable for him.

I rarely check that hotmail account that the forum messages probably lead to, but I"ll check them in the morning (it's now 2:39 and I'm about to collapse!) but I very much look forward to reading what a couple of you have sent me there! Thank you in advance! It's been a really, really crazy last few days. Phone ringing off the hook every day, visitors, kids' needs, tiler being in my space and requiring (not necessarily on purpose) a lot of my attention (!) while he was here, husband help, phone ringing some more, not managing to get a single thing really "done" yet having 3 days or so of constant running around like a chicken with my head cut off... Tonight I finally lost it when a friend offered to go to the toy store for me and buy and wrap everything on my list for me... it was such a sweet offer that I just melted with relief (didn't take care of all my shopping but took care of a huge chunk of it) and then in a store - this is funny - the salesperson said she'd let me have this nice Xmas decoration for 50% off since it's going to be 50% the day after Xmas and because I was already in such a fragile state, I started CRYING in front of her and her two co-workers! Nothing too bad but it was clear I was crying. They probably thought I was really poor and super grateful to get a discount so I told them it was about my husband and how when anyone's particularly kind, I get all emotional, apparently! Also I just haven't been sleeping (nowhere to sleep recently either, that's comfortable, as my husband's taken over the bed!) so that adds to the emotional state.

My father-in-law brought a new and comfy mattress for our guest bed which is where i'm going to head RIGHT NOW. Last night I slept on the mattress that WAS there which is a kid's super thin pull-out trundle mattress and it was awful.

I look forward to responding to at least some of your more specific, detailed comments/inquiries/suggestions, etc. when I can. I don't mean to seem so ungrateful by rarely replying here - there's just so little time (and look at me - i've just written a book so I must have some time)!!

I will fill you in on his condition in a few days, and I hope to be able to report no more throwing up and terrible discomfort. Much love and SUCH GRATITUDE to you all - and happy holidays/Merry Christmas!
xxxooo
Theresse

You and your family have been on my heart for the past several days. I'm glad you checked in and I am so so happy you have comfortable mattress as well as a father in law who would care to do that. May you continue to find comfort and blessings during this difficult time as you care for your family. I pray for strength and speedy healing for your husband -- the kind that leaves the medical world shaking their heads in disbelief -- that kind. Prayers for wisdom and insight for the medical professionals that work with your husband on this journey.

Right now I pray that your sleep is deep, and restful, and full of dreams of better days to come.

Hugs.

Dear Theresse, Husband and Boys,
Just want to share my prayers with all of you in your time of need - we Thank You Jesus, in advance for Your miraculous healing for this family and for all of those in need. We pray for all of those who are sick & suffering, for all in need of miraculous healing, for all in need of bread, water, love & shelter. And for all of the innocent victims throughout the world and their loved ones. And for those who may be in harms way, and those who are far from home... the soldiers and their families. We humbly Thank You Jesus for Your Love and Guidance. Please hold us all safely in the Palm of Your Hand... Please send Guardian Angels to watch over your family & you and everyone of us, also.

* Footprints Prayer ...

' Footprints in the Sand '

One night I had a dream...
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;
One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before us,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
There was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life
This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it.
'Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
You would walk with me all the way;
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,
There is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why in times when I
needed you the most, you should leave me.
The Lord replied, 'My precious, precious
child. I love you, and I would never,
never leave you during your times of
trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then, that... I Carried You.'

I am reading your description of your DH's problem and one of your solutions and I am really concerned.

I was a cardiac RN for many years. The " swollen stomach" is due to 3rd spacing of fluids. The fluid is retained in his intracellular area and is not available to be removed by the normal diuretic. I can't go into all of the details here but the one huge caution I want to make is the reduced fluid intake. I understand why you are doing it but it is a very very great concern that he will be dehydrated. It is unfortunate that you have lost your cardiologist. I hope he is still under the care of your internist. He needs to keep his fluid levels up ....not reduced. The mangt. of this disorder requires extreme caution when removing fluid/replacing fluid. He runs a VERY high risk of renal failure if he has too reduced fluids. Especially with the meds he is taking. Please do not self manage between now and the 3rd. I am hoping that your regular family MD will help you.

As an aside I am thoroughly disgusted with the quality of the cardiologist's care so far. This is indicative of ego at work and absolutely no respect for the patient or the care that the patient needs. You are lucky to be rid of someone with such poor ethics. I do feel that you need to get on board with the new MD immediately. This is way outside the expertise of family and even the regular internist. you need expert care for your DH NOW. Not in 10 days. c

Oh Theresse!

((((((HUGS))))))

I haven't been online for over a week, but I saw your post and want you to know that as soon as I post this message, I will pray for you and your family. I pray that the Lord comfort you and your family and give your husband strength to fight, and wisdom for the doctors. I pray God's healing Hand upon your husband and His mercy and grace to you all. Mostly I pray for the peace that passes all understanding.

~Shel

Theresse,

So glad to see an update and see that your DH is now at home, apparently.

But I join Trailrunner's concern about trying to manage fluid balance by significantly restricting intake, on an ad hoc basis. That might land you in big trouble, if the result is dehydration. You really need some guidance here from a doc, and pretty regular electrolyte (blood chemistry) tests to make sure you're still in the healthy ballpark. Did your Dr. give you parameters of intake? Don't wing it lower than what was recommended.

You can try sucking on ice cubes to get some fluid without triggering nausea. Be sure to log the fluid in the ice cubes, though.

Re the sodium restrictions: Food that low in sodium will taste bland, at first. Many people find that it takes about 4-6 weeks before their taste buds adjust. But believe me, it will adjust. Getting palatable food w/o much sodium is a huge challenge, because most must be made from scratch in order to avoid the generally ultra-salting common in food available today. I can make some suggestions, if you need that. Most "lower sodium" food is still a joke when on a medically restricted sodium regimen. And lots of no salt added stuff is simply ghastly. In case no one mentioned it: DO NOT USE A "SALT SUBSTITUTE", as most just exchange the sodium for potassium. Salt and potassium must be kept in balance, or bad things can happen to other organs. Start out by just avoiding salt in food prep, and using a measured amount, just before serving. I found measuring out about half or a third of the daily allowance into a little jar that could be used for either salting at table, or as an ingredient in cooking was a convenient way to keep track of it. The other half is acquired naturally from the food itself. I use Diamond Crystal Kosher salt which because of its flakiness and crystal shape amounts to about 290 mg per 1/4 TEASPOON. Other brands of Kosher salt are higher (about 2X) as is regular granulated salt. If your DH is unhappy with the salt level of his food (and it is an adjustment, hopefully temporary for him), then having some salt he can add at table (amount left out of cooking) will make the adjustment seem easier, and still keep good control over the total amount. One good thing about generally cooking without salt is it will moderate your own BP, too. It's much healthier, but vastly more complicated to do.

Do you have a salt-based water softener? You may need to temporarily move to bottled water to avoid that unneccessary salt for the time being. It's OK to wash body, clothes and dishes in water-softened water, just not cook or drink it.

Regarding being (involuntarily) discharged from one practice before the other picks up: that's NOT OK, no matter how piqued the first guy was. It could be seen legally as "medical abandonnment" (keep that phrase in mind if you have to threaten someone in order to get care), espcially in the light of a particularly unstable condition like recent onset or exacerbated HF. HF management is a very complex and labile situation, nothing to be attempted solo by someone who's facing it for the first time. I think you need to get back on the list of the old one or see the new one over the weekend. Or consider going back to the ER at the very first sign of anything that concerns you. I know you probably would want to avoid that cost and stress, but HF can be rapidly worsened if it's not aggressively treated when it changes. Hospitals are judged by the rate of readmission of HF dischargees, so don't hesitate to go back or refuse discharge if you're worried.

Do you have home health nursing services in place? This can be an invaluable bridge between home and DRs office, providing a skilled and HF-experienced resource to watch for the subtle signs of worsening HF. (It can go up and down, and still not be a dire longterm outlook. But it is essential to be able to pick up a changing situation in time to do something about it. Don't let fear of going backward blind you to small downward changes that can be easily reversed if caught early enough. This was a hard lesson for me to absorb: a step or two backward is not losing the war, just riding with the waves of the longer battle to recovery.)

I assume your comment about the meds that are best for HF being a problem with low blood pressure refers to a beta blocker (poss. Coreg aka carvedilol?). My DH also has a lovely, naturally low BP and pulse rate - the result of a being a thin, lifelong exerciser - and that limits how much Coreg he can take. Many people are on the "standard" therapeutic dose of 25 mg/day, but we had to start with a skimpy 6.5mg/day. Don't despair over a dose that small, though, it's still doing its job and you can gradually increase later, and it will do even more of its job, then.

If your DH is having difficulties with sleep and anxiety, perhaps some ativan or Xanax (Zanax?) would help him right now. Sometimes it's tough to get men to accept the aid of anti-anxiety meds, but a good doctor can just size up the situation and order it (as if it was just part of the routine). Which in some ways it often probably ought to be. You don't get better faster, or get any gold ribbons or extra credit for unnecessary suffering of any kind. And stress of either phyiscal and mental origin can make HF worse because those stress responses can trigger, or exacerbate, some of the complicated, intertwined processes that govern heart function.

I'm also wondering if some of the nausea your DH is having might be related to the meds he's taking. Is he still on an antibiotic, as well as HF meds (beta-blocker, aldosterone inhibitors, ACE inhibitors or ARBs, Lasix)? It would be worthwhile making someone sit down and review those combinations in light of the nausea. (Plus it's hard to know he's getting the full benefit of the doses if he's throwing them back up.) You wouldn't believe the number of bad combos we've been prescribed. Some were caught by the pharmacist and some by me by searching for the info online. (If you find a questionable combination and need to check back with the doc, don't tell them you found it on the internet; it makes 'em nuts. I usually just say "the pharmacy raised a question" even if the "pharmacist" is just me and webMD or drugs.com.)

And finally, you need to keep an eye on yourself during this time. I know from experience that there are deep physical reserves that one can draw on during a crisis like this. It's astounding how much stress and sleep deprivation one can seemingly tolerate. But that reserve is like money, you can't spend it twice. Even if you can keep going, you must enforce some discipline on yourself sometimes and get the rest and breaks you need to get.

Sorry for this lengthy post. I am just thinking back to what I wanted know, or needed to know, or was afraid to ask. Perhaps some of this will be useful to you, without being an overload.

Hope things continue to go well for you and your DH, and that your Christmas celebration can forward in some satisfying way for your boys. Do you have family nearby that can help you?

L

Theresse,

May you feel God's arms around you and your family comforting you as you go through this. I am also praying that God will give your husband's cardiologist the wisdom and knowledge as he treats his condition. I pray for your husband's healing and calmness and peace to you all as you go through this.

I can sense how you must be feeling as I was completely overcome with paralizing fear when my husband was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 42 two weeks after we put the contract on this house. I had a two and five year old at the time. Your description of how you were feelling in your first post reminded me of how I felt.

I prayed God would remove the overwhelming sense of fear from my body as I knew I would be of no use to my husband or my children if it continued to paralyze me.

So I pray that God will comfort you too as you go through this.

I knew I had no real control over the outcome but in order to feel some sense of control in the situation I found every book I could find on nutrition and became a food nazi. It gave me some sense of purpose and control over the situation.

God bless you, your husband, and your children.

(((Theresse))), couldn't help but send some hugs your way as well. Having a hubby who had a heart attack in September, stents put in at that time as well as triple bypass in October, I know how stressful this time must be for you. Please let your friends help you.. they were such a tremendous help for me in taking care of the kids and bringing over meals, etc. and it will make a huge difference in your being able to help yourself AND your family get through this.
Will be keeping you guys in my thoughts and prayers as well.

Theresse...sending prayers up for your husband to return to good health and strength for you and your family. I also pray that you have found a GOOD doctor who knows what he is working with. I hope you have family and friends who can lighten your load. Don't forget to take care of yourself...your family needs a healthy mother also.
((((:))))) Phoggie

Sending you warmth and caring for your husband, your boys and yourself.

It is troubling to hear that you are in suspense between docs for so long. Maybe the new cardiologist will have a cancellation sooner. Maybe your primary care physician can get you into the new cardiologist on an emergency basis. Another way might be to go to the ER and give them the new cardiologist's name when they ask for his physician. Probably too much advice, sorry. Just know that another heart is praying for you and sending healing thoughts in your direction.

Wishing the new year will bring renewed energy, health
and happy days.

(((((((((((((((((well wishes and prayers)))))))))))))))))
~boxer

Therese,

I've been away from GW for the holidays, and so am late in sending my best wishes to you and your family.

I hope that the holiday brought you some peace and that your husband is getting more comfortable and getting some more medical answers.

Prayers and hugs to all of you!

First of all I just want to acknowledge that I know many of you have had your share of health issues (yourselves or loved ones), fears and tragedies...and I know not everyone feels compelled to share what's going on in a kitchen forum!! I feel a tiny bit guilty that this thread has in a sense made my/my husband's problems look all-important when in fact I know so many of you have gone through similar experiences or other ones just as scary - if not more so. I'm almost embarrassed by how many responses this has gotten, and yet at the same time so incredibly, profoundly grateful. I hope that all of us can gain something from all this caring, loving energy reaching across the country ("across the kitchen table" as it were)...it reminds us all, I hope, of what matters and how strangers can be just as caring as the people in our "real" lives. I feel - this might sound strange - like this thread has these beams of light shooting out of it. Is that weird??! It feels like a warm, safe place where any of us can come and see and know how many kind people there are out there and so how none of us are really so alone. So wonderful...thank you so much.

Because I have a few stolen moments to respond to the last handful of comments (!):

Kris - thank you - and yes sleep is badly needed so hopefully tonight!

Roseofblue - thank you for the prayer. :)

Trailrunner - I sent what you wrote to my husband's parents and read it out loud to him...thank you for that very expert advice. Was very good to know. My husband drank a little extra after reading that (not too much, I told him)! I agree, about the between-docs situation. Working on it. Thank you so much.

Shel - thank you for praying for some peace. Much needed.

Liriodendron - thank you also for your wonderfully informative post. Sent it to relatives also and also read it to my husband. I started a looooong email to you (thank you for sending me an email) and fell asleep last night doing so! I thought of calling you but don't want to bother you until I either really need you or have my ducks in a row questions-wise. I will get that email finished and sent to you, at any rate! But I just want to thank you here, too. We are so grateful to you and everyone here. Just amazing... And no you didn't write too much! Please!

Irishcreamgirl - thank you for the prayer, and for sharing about your husband. How scary, having a 5 year old at the time. I was thinking of you today when I was feeling like a food nazi!

Hilary - thank you for sharing about your husband as well! How is he doing right now?

Boxerpups - thank you for your well wishes, prayers and the big warm hug. :)

Gbsim - the night of Christmas was really great, sitting with friends (our adopted families!) and seeing my husband be so talkative and able to stay out of bed and hang out with us all. Then the last couple of days he's been down again and frankly not eating enough (he says he's not hungry - but he also raised the point that it had only been 5 hours since he last ate and that I was over-reacting). But seeing him lie in bed all day makes me nervous. I guess my long-winded point is that yes he's more comfortable but it goes up and down (to be expected, I think) and we continue to search for more medical answers but hopefully if we're very assertive, we'll get some more! Thank you for the best wishes, hoping for peace, prayers and hugs. :)

Theresse

Theresse, after how hard you made me laugh on another post tonight, I really feel remiss in not posting here. I'm not a frequent poster, but I'm here often, and I HAD noticed that you'd been missing. Mainly because I have mad love for your beautiful unique kitchen and I can't wait for each step in your process. Please know that I send you my thoughts and prayers. My youngest had open heart surgery as a newborn and we continue to deal with unknowns. I do encourage you to advocate for a cardiologist with YOUR best interests in mind. Our son's DRs have done a fair share of literal and mental handholding and have allowed me the space to ask any and all questions I need to ask without having to trip over gigantic egos. Someone having your back is very important. Try to let people help you, they need to do it and you need a break, esp. with children looking to you for all that they ever did in normal times. Take care and my best wishes for a uneventful 2011, and maybe a clean GD :)

You're so sweet cluelessincolorado (imagine I'm saying your real name there!). That was so funny - I couldn't resist saying "ewwww" - my husband who was sitting next to me even got a laugh over the title of that thread! ;) Thank you for sharing your own experience and for your well-wishes...and thank you also for being so nice to my kitchen! I don't know how it's unique (unless you mean using stainless for a countertop, which I know is kinda crazy)...which is to say that so many old, small kitchens have that same layout of sink in the middle of a long countertop with upper cabs on either side of sink and window in the middle. But it feels good to think my kitchen's kinda sorta special in any way. :) Anyway, thanks again for saying hello here and for reminding me to make sure I get help. My husband says I suck at that and he wishes I'd ask for more help. What I like best is when people say "I'm coming at so and so time and you can put me to work" instead of "let me know if there's anything I can do." Cause I just won't let them know, 99% of the time! I know everyone's busy and most of the people either have kids so are busy or else don't have kids so can't help with mine (couldn't handle 3 boys!) and help with kids is mostly what I need right now. Sorry for rambling - and thanks again.

I am so sorry, you and your family are in my prayers. I just want to answer the one comment. Be very careful if your husband does take Xanax or any other anti anxiety meds as suggested (ativan, valium, klonopin etc). They can be extremely addictive (physically addictive as in your body cannot function without them then) and cause withdrawal issues that last months even years when trying to stop taking them. I only took them 10 days (1 pill a day) for a medical issue that my dr prescribed them for me for sleep and I had horrible withdrawals that lasted 6 months, burning skin (nerve pain), severe insomnia sleeping maybe 1-2 hours a night for months if I was lucky, couldn't eat, shaking, sweating etc etc. It was very bad and I thought I would die, I had no idea a legal prescription drug could cause that kind of pain and suffering. I would hate to see your husband get worse if he was one of the unlucky ones that suffered from benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome. Not everyone has such severe side effects but I wouldn't take the risk of finding out. Again I was only telling you to help you make an educated decision about those drugs, I personally wouldnt touch them with a 10 foot pole ever again. Take care and God bless.

Thank you Amy! I'm so very sorry you had to go through all that. I really appreciate what you shared and will share it with my husband right now as he's sitting here right by me! xoxo

I just want to apologize for bringing this long thread back but I just wanted to respond to that last post which needed to be responded to!

About how he's doing, since after all, here's this long thread again! ;) Just keeping some of you informed but there's absolutely no need to respond - I'm only doing so cause the thread was coming back regardless - haha!

My husband went to work this past week. It was a bit premature but his co-workers knew he was afraid he might lose his job so they were very helpful to him and he mostly just sat around at his desk. He hasn't improved yet (we got a much better cardiologist who thinks that his EF % is lower than the first cardiologist thinks it is, in fact) and some other blood test number showed he'd gotten a bit worse in some dept. that oddly enough I'm forgetting at this moment (!) but I seem to recall it had to do with his risk for kidney failure? Anyway he's in better hands now. Next week he starts cardio rehab (not sure of correct terminology) or at least meets with them, and in two weeks he gets a CT scan to try to get a better look at the heart. His meds haven't improved him yet but they say they still hopefully will and that if after 3 months on the meds there's no improvement, there's a better chance there won't be. Trying not to go there mentally right now. Last week they added a third drug in hopes his body's ready to accept it. His blood pressure's super low so it's a bit risky but a risk worth taking the doc thinks and he let us know the warning signs. So far he seems to not be suffering any noticeable side effects from that latest so that's very good IMO. I can't remember if it's the ace inhibitor or the other one of the two main ones (for those of you who know about all this). i think it's actually the one that makes your blood pressure go down even lower!

But I have a good feeling about this doc. He doesn't specialize in heart failure like our last one supposedly does but he's extremely respected and knowledgeable and experienced and informative and warm. Full of detail and information. Comes highly recommended by other doctors in town and he always has an entourage following him which is a good sign I think! With a great nurse, too. Also a close friend of ours had a very positive experience with him as did another friend's mother. His speciality has to do with irregular heartbeats and implants I think but it's all related - or at least many heart failure patients probably end up with him at some point. He says if we need to be referred to someone who knows more than he does, at any point in the game, he'll refer us to them without a moment's hesitation.

So that's good. Oh and by the way, before officially switching docs, I complained about how the old cardiologist's staff kept saying my husband was no longer his patient since we were *about* to switch docs. They suddenly called me and were as nice as could be and suddenly were really helpful... So glad we're done with them now!

Many thanks and endless appreciation,
Theresse

p.s. feel free to email me if you want to ask questions or give advice - that way we can keep on the topic of kitchens! :) I don't check that email acct. often but will check it in the next few days since i need to anyway. Thanks!

Hi Theresse. Been thinking about you and sending positive thoughts and healing prayers your way. Thanks for the update and to hear your husband is in better hands with a new cardiologist. I was shocked to hear of the unprofessional, unethical and actually, immoral behavior of the previous physician. Hoping 2011 is off to a healthier start for your husband. Hang in there and please keep us posted.

Hi Therese,
I am sorry to hear about the news. It is hard to cope with it. I hope your husband feels better and the entire GW community has their prayers for your family!

Take care.

Hey Therese- I am a CHF PA (18 years). Glad to read that your husband feels up to going back to work! That is a good sign! Keeping him mentally positive is important! Getting out of the house and going to rehab and work will have a huge impact on his overall health. He's gotta keep moving. It will help with battling depression. Regarding meds, he is on the best regimen for strengthening his heart. Even at low doses they are making a difference. If this was from a virus then there is a good chance to see improvement in his EF. Likely he will have to stay on meds indefinitely as EF can drop when carvedilol or ace-inhibitor are stopped.

Best wishes for 2011. You and your family are in my thoughts!

Thank you very much, Island, Homey and Mary.

Mary, thanks for your expert opinions and info! Yes depression is clearly becoming a big one over here for him (and trying not to go there myself, too!!). While they suspect the pneumonia in a sense caused this, I'm very suspicious that this has been building for much longer than that because he has what his sleep apnea doctor refers to as "very severe sleep apnea" (though wasn't terribly overweight) and all my begging over the years for him to use his CPap and what it would mean to his HEART should he not, did not result in his using his CPAP untl now. Go figure. Both cardiologists don't think the apnea played much of a role but I respectfully (in the present doctor's case anyway - disrespectfully in the last one's case - ha) disagree. If you google "sleep apnea" and "heart failure" it's crazy how many hits you'll get. And most of the reputable sites say that only the top leading cardiologists are starting to acknowledge this major correlation. The bottom line is that article after article and medical study after study are saying that severe sleep apnea without a cpap CAUSES heart failure, directly. No one's listening to me and if I push it I'll look like the crazy googling patient (or wife of patient I should say) so of course I'm not going to press it any further! So anyway my long rambling point is that the virus may or may not have caused this. It certainly made it all come to the surface though, so to speak.

Meanwhile I just remembered that when he first got diagnosed with pneumonia, they found a spot on his lung (which may be part of pneumonia). When he came in weeks later and they did the EKG which took everyone in a whole other direction, that spot was still there. Now, everyone's more or less forgotten about the spot... Now I'm wondering what the heck that is/was/if it's still there! NOT going to let myself "go there" either - can you imagine? But hopefully it's pneumonia related...ugh...

Thanks again - for your many kind thoughts!

Hoping that you get the answers you need quickly, and wishing your husband a speedy recovery. Sorry that you have to go through something so difficult.

rq

Thinking of you and your family, and saying a prayer for your husband. I hope his doctor figures out what's going on and that he feels better soon. Hugs to you.