Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
Abraham Lincoln

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Terry Pratchett

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres

I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.
Paul Simon

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx