Another option would be a native coastal grass (e.g. Muhlenbergia capillaris). The website for your county extension office probably also makes recommendations. Most thrive in full sun and are salt tolerant. Deer are less interested in grasses and many still provide winter interest.

I don't know if they are salt tolerant but in my non-coastal garden, wherever I can grow rosemary I can grow lavender. I like to use large clumping grasses also but I wouldn't call them "care free". Every third year or so I have to dig them up and cut them back by a third or else the center of the clump dies out and the whole thing starts to go downhill.

Some of the western penstemons and agastaches might work too. Not sure how much salt they can take though.

Pittosporum. You can grow it with no problems at all, because you have sandy soil. It will grow beautiful for you. I can't believe how nice the 5 I planted are doing in this sandy terrible soil.

They are evergreen also, and the little white flowers in May smell like oranges.

Check out Indian Hawthornes. I see them all over when I'm on the outer banks. I believe you can get them in a variety of sizes. Oleander is another one I see all the time, but it gets big. Not an expert on either, but sun, sand, and salt at least are not issues.