I was an owner builder about 3 years ago and the biggest issue we had was deciding on the interior paint color....costs went slightly over as expected and our build took about 7 months (started in winter/Jan) which was a couple of weeks longer than I had planned.

We haven't started the actual build yet, but we have renovated our condo together.

The biggest one is to expect everything to take much longer than you expect. For example, we started with our designing of our house last March and figured by the summer we'd be ready to submit plans to permitting. Fast forward and we just submitted our plans last week. When we renovated our condo we were told it would take 3 months. We moved in 6 months later.

Make sure you have a healthy budget and a large enough contingency (15%-20%). And know your budget.

Learn about the different contracts with working with a builder. Knowledge now will save you grief later.

Go to lots of builder open houses and see the quality of the work the builder does. And see if your builder is willing to let you go look at his/her houses in various stages of completion. If not, I'd be concerned about what things the builder is trying to hide.

Big doesn't mean better. A well designed small home will live larger than a poorly laid out larger home.

If you're not buying a builder's tract home, and are thinking of building custom, hire an architect who's work you like. In the long run, he/she will save you a bundle.

The build took much longer than we were told. About 10 months for a 1 story 1700 sq ft house. They were working on other homes and ours would sit for several weeks with no work done. Be sure to meet with builder every few weeks to see what their plans are and try to keep them on schedule.

Ditto on the time - weather, schedules, responsiveness etc - all come into play. And the construction industry (as a whole) is that "progressive". I am frustrated with the lack of commitment on quotes and budget. You hate having to be a hard ass with people, but spell out what CAN go wrong and what the charges are for things like "poor soil conditions - trucking in fill $XXX per load to haul and compact", or "hard soil / rock conditions, $XX for rock hammer / excavator hours"

We see more of this since we're our own GC, so a good GC will buffer this for you (and charge you for it!) but I work in the electronics industry, and while they are different, there is a differing level of professionalism / maturity in the industry. For example, and we've seen it here, pricing seems to be a super secret thing - whereas I want to understand the "why's" of the pricing and what can happen to drive overruns etc.

Things below the ground can cause the most unexpected cost overruns / uncontrollable issues....Once you get above grade - things get a little more predictable.

Lastly - take this entire process from a place of gratitude. Budget overruns, delays, disagreements with your builder or spouse are first world problems, and you will get through it.

Yes you and your spouse need to present yourselves as a team and work together. If you have disagreements on certain parts of the build, work it out in private and then present a united front when you talk to the builder.

Also regarding that, both of you should work to your strengths and not try and interfere if it's your weakness. For example, my DH is the money person and he understands more technical things like HVAC, electrical, cable, etc. So if he tells me we're using this bank for our mortgage and we're doing a mortgage that is xyz, I will read over the docs he sends me, but I will trust he knows of what he speaks.

By the same token, DH knows I'm an artist/designer and he left the design of the house to me. He of course had input in the sense he had strong feelings for where his office was, etc but how the overall house looks, how it will be decorated, etc he leaves to me. He knows from experience we'll have a beautiful home he can be proud of once we're finished. I do show him all my choices and if he has a dislike of something, I'll find something else instead.

Similar to above, only one person should be the contact with the builder when it comes time for that. My builder once wrote me about a money issue, so I wrote back saying he needed to talk to DH about that. (see above where DH is the money person). The builder joked, "Who's (DH's name)?" He said that because if there is any questions regarding the build, I'm the point person on the build.

Things go wrong with all construction projects and would be too numerous to list. The best way to insulate yourself from the cost in money and emotional stress is to hire someone to represent you instead of trying to tackle such a difficult task yourself with no prior experience.

I represent owners on job sites and therefore the owners are involved with problems with the work only when money is an issue and even then the options are clearly explained to them. That allows the owners to deal with their own life issues and the design issues that inevitably arise or were intentionally left for later and that is enough stress for people not accustomed to making so many design choices under pressure.

We've just begun our build process. So far we've encountered unforeseen obstacles, but I wouldn't say anything has gone "wrong" because we began this process KNOWING that there would be unexpected expenses. :)

Our "surprises" so far...

Our lot is difficult to access via firetruck, so the city is requiring a fire suppression system, and they only approve two installers so there's not much room to shop around for a better price ($10k for that)

Before digging, we had to do a soil survey ($2k for that)

While digging, our builder encountered some soil/rock that required going deeper, which means more concrete and retaining wall work ($35k for that)

But, despite these complications, my husband and I were just saying that the design/build process so far has not been taxing on our marriage AT ALL. If anything, our marriage is always strongest when we have a "project" and this is just a big project. YOU know your marriage best, and you know what triggers disharmony. Don't let marriage cliches determine decisions you make for your own family. :)

...

I personally would NEVER build if I couldn't pay cash for at least 50% of the initial budget. It is a lot easier to be zen about going over budget when budget overages represent "6 extra months" of payments, vs "10 extra years."

Construction of a building is never cut and dried. I was involved in building more than 40 homes for Habitat for Humanity and every single one presented it's own problems, even when identical plans were used.

Many people have acted as their own contractor to build a home. I'd wager every first timer was really stressed at more than one point in the build. I had a new home built years ago which ran almost three months over initial finish date. I was aware that could happen, as was my wife, but the actual delays were really frustrating. We had the house we were living in sold, and could only extend the possession by the new owners so much. We wound up living in a motel for a month. And my wife was really stressed out more than she imagined.

So, rule number one in home building is never expect the time line to be as planned.

Rule number two is never be surprised at what becomes a problem. Plan for missed deadlines and allow for glitches.

Rule number three is always expect changes. The best planning is dependent on other companies and people, who may have their own problems.

The possible problems(along with who to hire) are the best reasons to hire someone experienced to run the job. They will be experienced in handling the various problems. They will be experienced in making whatever changes are necessary to smooth out the problems.

Can you and your spouse handle the stress and strain? Only way to know is to do it. There are some indicators of the projected success or problems. How stressed are you(and spouse) when delays in everyday life happen? How well do you two handle choices together? How well do you two plan together? How financially set are the two of you to handle extra costs, like two house payments

If building a home is an adventure and you like adventures, you might be a good candidate for being your own contractor. But, you will still need advice, find/hire someone experienced to guide you.

I personally would NEVER build if I couldn't pay cash for at least 50% of the initial budget. It is a lot easier to be zen about going over budget when budget overages represent "6 extra months" of payments, vs "10 extra years."

Frankly I agree. However that doesn't mean you have to pay cash. It just means you should be able to if necessary.

my builder told me 9 months to finish. 14 months already, there is still no finish grading and landscapes yet. Just moved in two weeks ago.

4460 Heated SF + 2116SF unfinished basement + finished basement full bath.

cpartist -- yeah I think the decision whether to pay cash or finance is both very personal (how liquid do you need to be?) and changes all the time (will your money grow in value more quickly in a different investment). And that discussion (a) is way above my paygrade and (b) is way beyond the scope of this forum, ha! :D But I think the general sentiment applies...if you are going to finance 80% (or more) of your new home, it's probably best to settle for existing real estate (or rent, or buy a cheap mobile home, etc. etc!) and save up...accepting that building is a dream for your future, not this very minute. Sometimes I see people on this forum who can't even buy a 1/4 acre lot without financing it, and I want to post DANGER WILL ROBINSON gifs all over the thread!

We just finished GC'ing our own build this fall. I second everything said above regarding potential issues with budget, timeline, changes, and compromises. Our biggest stressors seemed to be related to subcontractors. When you are a one house job, you will lose out (or just get pushed back) to bigger jobs. We really liked our framer, but when our foundation work was delayed due to weather, he couldn't wait any longer for us and had to start a bigger job. So we didn't want to wait on him, so we had to find another framer. Our bricklayer just stopped calling us back because he was busy with other jobs. We got lucky and found another really good one who was between big jobs and came right in. It definitely made for some stressful times, and I feel like we were incredibly lucky the way things turned out without big delays. DH and I really liked the project aspect of it, and we worked together pretty well without killing each other, but not everyone can do that.

I'm going to take a different tack instead of talking about cost and time overruns, which are nearly universal, it seems. I've been on this forum for years, and I can't believe some of the screw-ups I see here, sometimes on very expensive homes. Plans not followed, shoddy workmanship, wrong materials; the list goes on and on. Just recently, one person's contractor died during the build! I still think the whopper of them all, though, was a house built on the wrong lot a few years back. We had one poor guy post pictures of the horrible framing work done on his house, earning 33 red flags in one inspection.

No matter how good the GC is, they give up some control hiring out subs, and if they don't stay on top of them constantly, things go wrong. Many of the issues here are found by the homeowner, and then they go to battle with the GC to get a fair solution to the problem. If I were having a house built, I'd be watching everything like a hawk, and wouldn't be shy about calling out anything I didn't like. I suspect the GC would get tired of me very quickly.

I built my own house, so didn't run into any quality issues. We never set a budget or a timeline, so I can't say those were issues, although it took a lot longer than I thought it would.

I read something in a book years ago -- not about building, but about families. It said that all happy families are relatively alike ... but each unhappy family is miserable in its own way. Perhaps the same is true of builds: Happy builds are much like one another, running on towards completion with the occasional hiccup ... but when things go wrong, those things are individual and unique.

I personally would NEVER build if I
couldn't pay cash for at least 50% of the initial budget. It is a lot
easier to be zen about going over budget when budget overages represent
"6 extra months" of payments, vs "10 extra years."

Frankly I agree. However that doesn't mean you have to pay cash. It just means you should be able to if necessary.

Yeah, I agree. Since in most cases building is more expensive than buying, it seems to me that you aren't "ready" if you don't have substantial up-front cash. However, I'll add to that that I'm very conservative financially and might not be so quick to jump as a more risk-positive individual; but I don't apologize for that -- I grew up in a poor family and am rather surprised at how well my husband and I've done for ourselves.

Yes, seems like delays are ubiquitous. Cost me a lot of money and stress. But everybody says this so no reason to not be prepared.

Other stuff. ..

Even if your architect specs out the entire project, dozens of decisions will still need to be made on the fly. Who will be able to make these?

I trusted our contractor to make these but on some it seems the most expedient choice was made, and not the most aesthetic. I think it is only natural that the GC will want to keep moving and have everyone happy. So when the hvac guy says "return here?" GC says "sure!"

I kept to the architects plan and I think the builder was more experienced with a design/build format where their in house designer would make alterations based on their request to ease the construction process. So when I kept saying I didn't want to change something, to do it like the architect drew it, that threw them off.

I did accept some deviations that I regret, though in the end we got a quality product.

Good luck.

I see quite a few folks call out a 10%-20% contingency. Is this a general rule or only applied to certain contracts? If one does a fixed contract with all items specified the only contingency you'd need, of course if you don't change your mind, is for site improvements correct?

Make a good choice in your builder and the rest will fall into place. We did our research about our builder, talked to about 10 reference families, and even learned about which superintendent we wanted. There were minor issues that arose. The stress was very manageable. We are SO happy we decided to build. Got the exact house we wanted! We caught as many of the mistakes as possible by going by the house daily, asking lots of questions, researching online, getting copies of all of the large bills, etc.

I see quite a few folks call out a 10%-20% contingency. Is this a
general rule or only applied to certain contracts? If one does a fixed
contract with all items specified the only contingency you'd need, of
course if you don't change your mind, is for site improvements correct?

No matter what type of contract you have, you need to have a contingency / a back up plan in case your costs increase. Things can happen in any build: Landscaping items can pop up; the cost of wood can increase; the appliances you'd planned to use can be discontinued, forcing you to a more expensive option; items can be stolen from your build site. Of course you can minimize your risk by planning carefully / resisting the urge to upgrade this or that, but none of us, no matter how careful, will escape bad luck on every front.

We were told 5-7 months from excavation, and we are just around the 7 months. Should be done next month.

We have had some minor mistakes along the way - wrong vanities installed, wood that should have been painted was stained, but those have been corrected by the builder/subs. I am not happy with the color we chose to paint the inside, but that was my poor decision - not anyone else's.

Mostly we have been disappointed in the work ethic/caring of the subs. My husband is a perfectionist though, so that doesn't help. It drives him nuts to see them take the easy route, etc.

We visited the house one Saturday morning to find that the drywallers had cut out the drywall covering going into the house from the garage and tried to (badly) screw the cut piece in to seal the doorway - the drywall had blown in and there was nothing between the outside/inside. The house was set to heat to 70 and there were -20 windchills outside, the temperature was in the high 50's inside. They also had left a window in the master bedroom wide open. We were not too happy.

Another example - the painters were painting outside posts in temps around 30, paint recommendation is 35-45 degrees.

It stressful for us when we see/question them and they 'blow off' everything like no big deal or that they know best. Overall, I'm glad we are doing the build. Love the house and we will be very happy there, but it has been a wild ride. (Sorry for the novel)

I would agree that you need to spend as much time possible evaluating the builder. A key thing I look at is whether the builder has established subs that he/she has relationships with. Then I find out who the subs are and research them.

In addition I scour for reviews, references and actual homes (NOT MODELS) that they have built.

I've also called the building inspector and lumber yards to add to my research.

Hello Mrspete!

Cost of wood/lumber is covered under fixed unless you're referencing something else? I think your point is that there are alot of little things that can add up? I guess when I see that 10% to 20% number it boggles my mind. Lets say its 20% on a $400K home. $80K out of pocket that isn't financed/appraised would be a disaster in my mind for a fixed contract that has most everything specified. When I started the whole process I had a budget number and by the time everything was planned for and specified I ended up 20% over, lol

It is definitely stressful no matter what route to building you take (being your own contractor, full custom build, track house, etc) but you will know whether you can or want to take that stress on. They say if your marriage can make it through building a home, you can make it through anything -- for us, it's been a relatively easy process since we agree on almost everything, but there have been a couple of mild (very mild) bumps along the way (not in regards to our marriage but to the building process) that have been frustrating but nothing that has made us second guess whether we should have built or not.

For the record, we chose to build in an HOA development with a semi-custom regional builder. We had the choice of changing just about everything, including closing off the 2-story entrance to make the loft upstairs almost double the size, changing the upstairs configuration to a 3BR w/ walk-in closets and an extra 5x5 storage room vs having a 4BR config, and little things like not wanting rounded sheetrock corners or wanting squared off archways instead of actual arches. Going the route we are takes a lot of stress off of us because we're not general contracting our own build, we didn't have to pull permits, if the wrong windows come in we aren't responsible for fixing it, etc. We paid a little less than 3% down to get started on the build and we don't pay a cent more until closing except for when we upgrade our flooring. To upgrade our flooring and countertops, we can choose to finance up to 50% of it into the mortgage if we want but the other 50% must be paid in cash to the flooring store. The whole build process takes about 7 months (we'll be done at the end of June). We still get to do some important things like do an electrical walkthrough to have the opportunity to add extra lights, outlets, etc. We've added a lot of upgrades, most actually being very affordable (like $3.50/sqft to enlarge the concrete patio) but after all is said and done we'll have added about $20k in upgrades, maybe $25k.

We briefly considered doing a build with a construction loan on our own, but 1) We did not own our own land, 2) We didn't have the cash to buy land outright, and 3) We didn't want to pay monthly interest on the build during the process.

We know we made the right decision for us. Like I said, there have been a couple of small hiccups along the way but nothing to slow down the process or make us regret anything.

A contingency isn't just for construction overruns. It's also for when your final appraisal doesn't make the construction loan amount and you have to bring cash to the table. That's a big hazard for custom homes not surrounded by like comps, i.e. not in a cookie cutter subdivision.

There was a clause in our contract that said the fixed portion could be adjusted up by as much as 5% if documentation was provided that the cost of lumber went up, etc. In your 400k example that could be 20k on its own. Our builder didn't change any o f the fixed items. But beware of clauses in your contract.

Good point on the appraisal.

I was pretty worried about the appraisal myself as I was building in a more rural area where the comps would be rough for my budget. I talked to several banks and asked about appraisals before moving forward. Needless to say I was confident after my research that my selections and specs would be ok within 5%. Appraisal ended up above contract.

I see that everyone has touched the points of which I was going to so what I have to say is this...

It IS worth it.

We did our own build and hired some subs. (foundation, HVAC, plumbing, drywall and insulation) It was very stressful haha! Sure we got frustrated and short with each other at times but I don't think it negatively affected our marriage at all. You need to be a united front and know when to push and when to pull. I on the other hand ... ugh. My mental health has suffered. I'm not going to get into specifics except that I hope it gets better once the house is done.

That very personal information aside haha! I wouldn't change it for the world. We are absolutely in love with our new home. It is everything we wanted. We made a lot of compromises, but not ones where we felt like we were sacrificing. We would definitely do it again in the future because we both learned a lot and in the end, we did really enjoy it. There is something amazing about knowing that you built your walls with your own 2 hands. You are walking on floors that you installed. Looking at all the items you picked out personally. That you spent countless hours researching and looking at in the store 5 times before you actually purchased it lol! It's all you. And what could be better than that? :)

I'm going to second (or is it 3rd?) the appraisal issue. I paid "extra" to get higher quality kitchen cabs, fancy granite, nicer hardwood floors, etc.. - but my bank was kind enough to tell me up front that those nicer finishes are not in any way a dollar for dollar increase in appraisal value. I was sweating bullets until our final appraisal came it. We had the cash in reserve in case we needed it, but it stuns me every time I read someone post on here about how they are building but they can't "afford" what to me are TINY cost-overuns. I mean, yeah, a thousand dollars here and there is not chump change - but if you can't "afford" a couple thousand dollars here and there, I hate to tell you this - but you can NOT (safely) afford to build a house then!!!

I feel that DH & I actually became closer throughout the experience. I designed the house, he still had input. My dad did the plans for us. There are things that we both wanted that we got, and few things we had to compromise. Did we get frustrated and snotty with each other? Yes. Is is worth it when we say we love our home? YES!!

So many things that can go wrong, but if you do your research (this site being a MAJOR resource) and have some patience, it's so worth it.

So much good advice above, I agree with so much of it, I don't want to reiterate, so I will add a couple of things.

Once you decide who you are going with...study your contract. Really understand what they are budgeting you for, and if you think you know, go back and read again. You go back to the contract for everything, its there to protect both you and the builder from misunderstandings.

And, once we did the plunge, my husband and I decided to have fun spending all this money. Of course we are watching the budget, but we might as well smile and enjoy vs stress.

Good luck!

"Most people will be in a better financial position later in life. Take advantage of that by designing the house to be remodeled at that stage of life."

I'd take this with a grain of salt, as its heavily dependent on the individual, their career prospects and health, and the economy. A "better future" is no longer guaranteed. I'd recommend instead, build for your current life, with some wiggle room to make adjustments in the future (both smaller or larger)

Eg, as a 30-something Engineer with no plans for children, I've also got some room to move up in pay scale, though not by much. I also have an amazing pension, and interest rates are looking to stay low for the foreseeable future, so for me, building 'as much as possible now' makes more sense.

A 20-something working an hourly job would likely benefit from buying small and moving up/expanding.

Baby boomers whose children have just left the nest (increasing their net income), but faced with a dwindling economy, in fields where the industry is faltering, may not find it in their best interests to upgrade or build bigger - the baby boomers have destroyed our (Canadian) federal pension plan and its well known it may falter in the future. Many boomers are in danger of being broke when they finally retire.

The only things that can go wrong are the things that can be done.

Murphy's Law!

My husband and I just retired. We bought property 2 years ago in a resort area in NC. We recently gave our builder the green light to start building in April since our home in NJ sold. For the past 2 years we've been looking at all the different flooring, cabinets, tiles and appliances. For us this is the really hard part. The layout of our house is 90% what we wanted and it works well on the lot we have. I'm constantly changing my mind about the tile I've chosen and flooring. The builder did not introduce us to the decorator until we visited NC last week and insisted on meeting with her. Our meeting with her at first was mostly to get her opinion if we should get rid of all our furniture and buy new. We showed her pictures and she gave some suggestions to make some furniture fit in the new home so we could take our time with new purchases. We've decided to take some and sell /give away some. She seemed very nice however I don't have a clue as to her taste and what ideas she'll bring to the table.

Does anyone know what appliances work well and which ones to stay away from? Anyone have induction cooktop? Thermadore range tops vs Induction range top? Double oven vs one oven with cooktop? We've been reading all the reviews and it's driving us crazy cause every site says something different. Help!

Marsha, your needs go beyond a ''decorator''. Hire a local designer to assist you with the hundreds of decisions ahead of you.

Marsha, you might also want to try the kitchen forum here. And whether it's the decorator or another designer, insist on looking through the portfolio to see the work s/he has done, to see how it matches up with your style and tastes.