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Roses
beth9116

Dilemma

10 years ago

I have a dilemma. I mentioned it to my husband over breakfast this morning and he just looked at me, shook his head and asked me if I was crazy. Then asked what I'd do next year when everything had filled their pots.

You see, I've spent the last two days transplanting roses from 14" and 16" pots into 22" pots. I have 12 of those 14" and 16" pots sitting there empty. So I thought, hmm, I can transplant some of my big minis into those pots and that would give me twelve 12" pots sitting there empty.

Now don't you think I need to buy some minis to fill those small pots? I'll worry about next year, next year. I need to find that list on how to count your roses. Maybe if I put it on his desk he'll understand!

Featured Answer
  • 10 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    Consider your dilemma solved. Here is the classic...

    HOW TO COUNT ROSES

    1. Mini roses don’t count.

    2. Floribundas — because they are not full-fledged hybrid
    teas — count as half.

    3. Shrubs, Climbers, Ramblers, Old Garden Roses, etc. don’t
    count because they can be considered "landscaping."

    4. Roses not planted — or in pots — don’t count. (See the
    "Territory" Clause).

    5. Roses that were discounted count as half.

    6. Roses received as gifts don’t count.

    7. Odd numbers must always be rounded off…if you’re out of
    room, round the number down. For every one-hundred, divide by two. This is
    known as a "stock split."

    8. Roses whose names you don’t know or can't remember
    obviously don’t count.

    9. Roses that are on Shovel Prune Watch don’t count; the
    roses that replace them also don’t count as they cancel each other out.

    10. Duplicate/multiples count as one as they are considered
    a set.

    11. Roses that are not planted in a bed don’t count. (See
    the "Landscaping" Addendum).

    12. Bareroots don’t count because they are dormant when they
    arrive; once you plant them and they start to bud out…well, you’ve already done
    your count, so you will just have to wait until next season—by which time
    you’ll be sure you already counted them.

    13. Mislabeled roses don’t count because you probably
    already have one of them somewhere, which has already been counted
    once…probably.

    14. Anything less than Grade 1 counts only a fraction, and
    since fractions are not whole numbers they can be rounded off (remember the
    rounding off rule).

    15. Roses that you think you might give away can be excluded
    from the count…makes it easier to part with them; if, by some chance you wind
    up keeping them, well…oh well.

    16. HTs that get huge and wind up taking more than one space
    should be counted twice, but remember the duplicate rule.

    17. Now…if, after counting, you have under a hundred roses,
    you must immediately place some orders—and they don’t count because they’re in
    transit and therefore not in the ground.

    18. Roses ordered on a whim really don’t count because they
    were never on a list. (This is known as the list rule: If it’s not on a list,
    it doesn’t exist…most likely).

    19. If you cut many roses and give them away, this is
    considered Charity, and everyone knows that you get special allowances for
    Charity—which brings us to…

    20. Tax Deductions… (see Claiming Roses as Dependants).

    See? You really didn’t have as many as you thought you
    did…time to go order some more.

    HAPPY SHOPPING!

    (enabler) John

    Comments (14)

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