Hi everyone.

Josh – Let me first say, welcome
to the forum and I hope you stay and build a happy association with all of us
on this site. The aim of this group is to share information, experiences,
pictures as well as asking and answering questions on bromeliad related
subjects. There are some very experienced growers on this site and because they
specialize in different genera there is usually someone who can answer specific
questions and if not, knows another site where you can access an answer.

The main rule in trying to get
an ID for any bromeliad (or any other plant for that matter) is to post a
picture because as they say, “a picture paints a thousand words” and shows the
plant much better than any description ever can. Unfortunately you say you are
unable to post a picture, and I understand where you are coming from and how
frustrating you must find it, as I too went through the same problem. There may
be someone reading this with more computer knowledge than I who can help you to
post pictures and I’m sure they will soon give you some advice.

However, before “Garden Web Bromeliad
Forums” were amalgamated with “Houzz”, and was in its original format, all
pictures had to be posted via a second host such as “Photo Bucket” or a similar,
so maybe you could try this. In the mean time we have to try and answer your
questions based on the information we have.

You say you bought your plant
at “Lowes” which I assume is a store similar to our K-Mart, Big-W, Bunnings etc.
here in Australia (please correct me if I’m wrong). These stores just “on sell”
plants and I have found the staff are
not “nursery trained” and most have little idea about plant care and this is
where your problems can begin.

For example, plants are
sometimes left out in the full sun when they have previously been grown with the
protection of shade or glass house conditions. This can result in leaf burning
and the dehydration of the plant as well, however these signs are obvious by
the condition of the leaves and the wary buyer would leave them alone.

Generally the two main areas of
trouble with most plants can be traced to “over-watering” or “under-watering”.
If the plant feels very light, this usually indicates it has dry potting mix
and has been under-watered, which may lead to dehydration of the plant and
eventual death. If it feels heavy, it has usually been over-watered and the
potting mix is water-logged which may eventually lead to rot which can also
kill the plant, so these are the two main things to look out for.

I imagine your “Lowes” stores sell
a similar range of plants to those sold in our stores in Australia. These are
mainly, Guzmanias, Neoregelias, Vrieseas and occasionally some Aechmeas (mainly
fasciata).

You say your plant had several
pups and this is the first “clue”, as this often happens with Guzmanias and
Vrieseas, especially those that have been produced by tissue culture. Also if a
plant is stressed (and this can be the result of either of the two causes mentioned
above) it will immediately try to reproduce itself because the plant’s system
thinks it is going to die, and the production of multiple pups (where usually just
one or two is normal) is the survival reaction of the plant in operation.

Next you say, “most brom’s are
epiphytic, right?”; This is correct, and this fact give you a clue to the
conditions required. When growing on a host tree, or sometimes a rock (saxicolous),
these plants have abundant air supply around the roots and no matter how wet
they get, they dry out pretty quickly and don’t stay wet.

This then tells us that our
potting mix must be free draining and shouldn’t stay wet either, so this is the
first thing to look at. There are as many different potting mixes as there are
growers, but a good “basic” type of potting mix for most the commonly grown bromeliads
mentioned above is 50% bark based orchid mix and 50% good quality general
potting mix; this will allow free drainage and will retain some moisture without
being too wet.

Another very common problem
with new growers is to leave their plant standing in a saucer of water to “keep
it watered” as this too will cause water-logging and ultimately rot. I have on
occasion heard shop assistants tell customers this is what should be done, which
only highlights their lack of horticultural knowledge in these matters as this
is a sure way of killing your plant.

I would have suggested that a few
of days after watering, you knock the plant out of the pot and examine the mix;
if it’s damp but not wet, fine; if it’s still very wet, your mixture isn’t free
draining enough. However you say, “should I repot without the peat? It's still
kind of wet and I haven't watered in a week! In this case I would definitely de-pot
the plant, remove the peat and re-pot in a more suitable potting mix as the
present mix is retaining too much water.

While on the watering subject,
another thing to look at is the pattern of drainage holes in your pot; more
often than not drainage holes are too small and need enlarging or even extra
holes bored through the base of the pot to facilitate quicker drainage (You
should be able to water the plant and shortly after see the water run from the
drainage holes).

Also the fact that your plant
has soil gnats (sometimes called “fungus gnats”) prompts me to ask if you
removed any rotting or dying roots when you re-potted your plant, as you said when
you bought your plant it was “starting to get root rot”. If you leave the dead
and rotting roots on the plant even though you’ve repotted it, you may have
just moved the problem into the fresh potting mix. Even if all the roots are
dead and rotted, they should be removed and the base treated with an anti-fungus
solution or powder; the plant will eventually grow new roots and in the meantime,
an occasional half strength mixture of foliar fertilizer could be applied to provide
nutrients.

Fungus gnats don’t damage
plants as such; their presence is mainly just a nuisance. Larvae, however, when
present in large numbers, may damage roots and stunt plant growth, especially
in younger plants. Root damage and even plant deaths have occurred in house-plants
when high populations of larvae were present in “over-wet” potting mixes. Thus,
a houseplant that is wilting may not indicate a lack of water, but rather too
much water and roots damaged by fungus gnat larvae or other causes of unhealthy
roots. However, too much or too little water, root decay, fungi, and improper
soil conditions (e.g., poor drainage, or waterlogging) are much more common
causes of wilted plants.

You say of your plant, “It
stays very warm and humid, with indirect light (on a bright, covered porch)”;
this is OK but the most important bit of the equation is “missing” and that is
the fresh circulating air such as outside grown plants in culture and those in
habitat are able to access.

You also say that “Maybe it's
not even a brom?” and without a picture I don’t think any of us can say for certain
either. However you go on to describe it and say, “It (and it's pups) are a sort of
yellow-green on top, with purple undersides. Long narrow leaves with no
serration. The roots look terrestrial, but the plant is very clearly nothing
like my cryptanthus. Hope this helps for id.”

The fact that the leaves have
no serrations, narrows the field considerably as Neoregelias and Aechmeas have
serrated leaf edges, so given the information you have provided, I would
suggest it’s either a Guzmania or a Vriesea as they are the two most commonly
sold types of bromeliads outside the bromeliad nursery environment.

Just for comparison, I'm posting two
picture below of firstly of a Guzmania and secondly a Vriesea.

I hope all of this “twaddle”
doesn’t confuse you too much; I did get a bit carried away and thought I was writing
a book, but it was all intended to help.

Guzmania 'Hilda'

Vriesea 'Evita'

All the best, Nev.

Nev, I love reading your thorough, colorful, insightful and witty responses. You are so kind to give so much of yourself! I learn something new, every time. Thanks!

Carol in Jacksonville