Marie Tulin(6a Boston MA suburb)

Not the garden, but my entire house and lifestyle when our 28 year old moved home for a year. Essentially the same issues: frequency and thoroughness of sweeping; how to load the dishwasher; her taking over kitchen cupboards for her funky teas and supplements. We actually relived parts of her adolescence (and probably some of mine) We did not argue about mums....except in the human sense of the word.

On a lesser scale, my husband when he retired. However, the domestic irritations have been entirely negotiable, unlike with a daughter.....

Haven't had that; we just have a division of labour. My spouse is a very meticulous annual gardener (deck pots and front fillers) and is always trying to whip the lawn into shape. But she leaves the perennials to me. Not that I'd mind otherwise because she has my eye to detail and operates on the same principle as me; namely, "a pearl is not had for the asking".

Our son has his own life and has always been more than happy to leave our garden to us. Now, there'll always be a "Tim's bedroom" in our house, for when he's visiting, but as to our garden, he just has too many interests/involvements of his own. And gardens may not be the kind of thing thoughtful people intend their kid(s) to inherit.

As to fall mums, I have nothing against them, but with so many elegant pink, to magenta, to mauve, to purple, to blue fall asters available we just don't need them.

Is it selfish to say I don't mind that my kids have little interest in gardening? They enjoy picking little here and there and digging a little on occasion, but my garden beds are still safe from any hostile takeovers. I feel a little guilty when I think of the beds my mother gave over to us boys, but then quickly get over it when I need more room for mum plantings.

I had to hire a gardener when I worked full time and had carpal tunnel. Poor man thought he was doing me a favor by adding plants to my garden, After I made him remove one he learned to ask prior to planting.

It's all one continuum, hey? Our gardens, children, partners, animal companions, mates...a long narrative of nurture. Always good.

No one has shown interest in my gardens as regards to planting and maintaining. DH does like to show it off. He occasionally helps move something or does a small chore when asked. I can relate to the messiness though as things get tossed into the garage until the garage gets cleaned after the gardening season is finished. My garage is clean and orderly from late fall until early spring.

Regarding mums, while I like asters and have planted many they are salad for rabbits and deer here. Neither eats mums so they have become the big fall splash of color.

Mnwsgal, re rabbit/deer-proof mums, great example of why contact gardeners aren't dogmatic in the way they talk about other gardeners' tastes or practices.

Also: I've enjoyed gardening for other people, but am certainly not amenable to micromanagement by the home owners.

Three children in university and none have my gardening gene. I think I traumatized the eldest when I tried to teach her botanical names when she was little. She claims if she ever owned a house, the back yard would be entirely paved, lol. I'm one of six children and am the only one to get the love of gardening from our mother.

We've gone on business trips in the summer and have left the watering to the children. Once I was on Skype with the youngest son and I asked him to go water my planters and veg/flower beds...he was gone for about five minutes. I have a huge garden, in case anyone wants to know, go he literally gave everything a splash.

I have a 5YO grand-daughter who has been keen to plant, hoe and weed - I bought some minuscule (gruffalo) gardening gloves today (and also bought myself a new trenching spade). Get them young, I say - children's tools can be had which are finely made and perfectly sized...and gardening is magical for kids...as essential as being outside in nature and having a pet.

My youngest held out for 26 years before caving while middle daughter, eldest son and DiL were pushovers, although better on the enthusiastic ideas than the actual hard work...and when hard work was actually done, it likely as not involved another broken spade.

We lived at Mom's parents' until I was about 12. Grandpa was 80 when I was born. He put my sister and I to work in the garden as soon as we were old enough to tell the difference between a weed and a vegetable seedling - about 4 years old or so...! Picking wild strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries with Grandma was also a fun summer routine. Both my sister and I are avid gardeners. Camp. - your granddaughter will likely have very fond memories of you as she grows up!

Thankfully, my husband limits his garden involvement to oohing and ahhing appropriately over what I've done and lifting the really heavy stuff. However, when friends and family come over, he loves showing off the gardens and taking credit. :-) He's welcome to do that as long as he's willing to drop everything for driving to Craigslist bargains and nursery sales.

I always have to laugh when people speak of getting their kids
interested in gardening. I come from a family of gardeners, but I
resisted my genes until my 30s. The joy of collecting columbine seeds
succeeded where my mother, sister, aunts, uncles and grandparents had
all failed. Then I was off and running.