A Jack and Jill is usually bad--nobody ever does the doors right and kids will not be able to get in when they want to or they'll walk in on each other or....

If they share (which is perfectly normal to my generation), have a single door that opens to the hall. If they can each have their own, even if they have to be small, there will be much less fighting in the future. I'm SURE about that part! it's also easier to teach them to clean their messes when blame can be properly assigned.

So, my preference would be 2 baths if you can fit them in. If you can't do that, then one good sized bath, with access from a hall. My last choice would be a J&J. If they're going to share a bath, make them share the door.

(That doesn't mean I wouldn't try to set up the bath to be more friendly to use by two people--double sinks, private shower/toilet, etc.)

Yes, once they hit the tween years they seem to spend eons in the bathroom -- boys and girls alike. And in the shower! My girls share one bathroom and the "blame" thing is going strong, "not my mess".... good luck! If you did a Jack and Jill (if I'm understanding it right, two doors into the bathroom) but also had the toilet/shower in a separate back half of the room, then perhaps they could share....you are going to be cleaning both bathrooms for a long time to come.

We have a J&J that was used two boys and it worked very well b/c one of the two wasn't into hygiene/grooming at all...

i like J&Js but to work best it'd have to be kids of same gender. Can't see a tween girl wanting her brother within 200 miles near her while in the bathroom

I have a jack and jill...if you have enough space, you should do two separate though. Kids are same gender

Either two separate baths, or one with the hall access

You all are bringing up very good points! Keep them coming!

Two bathrooms, if you can fit them in, are definitely better. Once the older one hits the tween years, they want a lot of privacy. You don't have to provide them with something to fight about down the road; don't worry, they'll find other things to argue over.

Mongo, at what age do they learn to be considerate? I'm getting impatient! :)

At the time I thought my friend's choice was odd but now it makes more sense as my 9 year old takes very long showers. They did one of their daughter's bedrooms with a bath with a door to her room and the hall and the other daughter had a jack and Jill to the guest room. When there are guests the door to the daughter's room stays locked and both girls use the bath attached to one room and the hall.

It works well for everyday and is ok when guest come over too. I, however am of the camp that my kids can do without their own bathes and learn to make do with a hall bath, or use my first floor shower or,weather permitting, outside shower til they can pay for their own master suites. Whose turn it is to use the shower is so a first world problem that I make them duke it out themselves.

Fori, kids usually start developing empathy between ages 1 and 3..that's when the journey of learning to be considerate begins :) sometimes never stops lol.

I don't like Jack and Jill concept even though to my ears, it sounds extremely cute; it seems very not private. Two doors, two locks..I'd rather have one. Also if there are guests-I think they'll feel safer when it's a regular bath with hall access..well, I'd feel safer if I was a guest.

If they have a bathroom of their own, they'll experience a huge shock to their system once they go to college. DD shared dorm room that was less than 200 sqft. Also shared co-ed bathrooms, about 10 people for one shower.

oh people are highly adjustable creatures though. My daughter's dorms have curtains where the toilet stalls are, instead of doors(why don't you hang a door? given the cost of living there lol)..she told me it was amazing how fast she adjusted.

I think when I was a kid our stalls didn't have anything at all, except for side separations which is kinda worse..I'm not sure already but I don't recall any doors. For sure not in summer camps. Teachers, they had a separate "teacher's" toilet, with the door and all. Interesting, how I never even thought of using it? Was totally beyond anything I could imagine probably..such rule-breaking.

(Sorry for the off top:)

Together with this, unless you absolutely and with happy heart can afford it, I see no need for kids having each their own bathroom. Under regular circumstances.

Nah, nobody needs their own bathroom. It's a luxury. Doesn't mean it isn't nice to have, though!

(Also probably good for resale should that ever come up.)

I like J&Js, but I think most of the ones on this website are overly complicated.

Sharing a bathroom is a good way to encourage sharing and cooperation, but don't assume these things are automatic -- these are skills and must be taught.

As for whether you should go J&J or two separate baths, I think this is the proper question: What's the norm in your neighborhood? You don't want to over or under-build.

We have a Jack and Jill, the doors can be a problem. One of the kids is always forgetting to unlock the door for the other. I saw a modified Jack and Jill that I liked, each bedroom had it's own bath vanity/toilet with a shared shower room inbetween. Although it does not limit the door problem, it is an improvement.

Both my parents grew up in a house where they had one bathroom for the entire house. My dad had 3 other siblings and my mom had 2 other siblings. They all managed to survive and thrive.

I grew up in a house with two sisters and all three of us shared one bathroom. We all managed fine. (And the master bathroom consisted of a shower, toilet and one vanity and my parents survived.)

The house my son and daughter grew up in had one full bathroom for all four of us. We just never got around to putting in the master bathroom. (We did have two half baths downstairs though). Again we all managed. I never recall arguments or fights over using the bathroom. Fights over other things? Yep!

I think kids will do fine with one bath shared. And I agree. Make it so the door is from the hallway and not a J & J bath.

Remember kitchens and baths are the most expensive parts of the house to build. You're talking a minimum of $5,000 using builder basic stuff on up to $25,000+. In a new build, I'm guessing that money can go to lots of other needed things.

Stories from growing up with a jack and jill bathroom:

This bathroom was on the corner of the house with the bedroom for 2-3 boys on one wall of the house and the bedroom for 2 girls on the other side. When I was about 7 my 16 year old brother, who was a bit of a sleepwalker, got up to use the toilet, and exited the bathroom through the wrong door. He crawled into my bed squishing me into the wall. I tried to wake him with no success. I eventually left my bed and went and slept in his. On another occasion, a brother just a year older than me also needed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. He walked through bathroom, into my room, opened up the toy chest with the white lid, peed there, and returned to his room. Aside from these mishaps, I don't recall the 4 to 5 of us (the oldest brother was many years older than the next 4 of us) having problems sharing the bathroom. Perhaps a hall bath would have avoided my brothers heading out the wrong door. Much more important than a hall bath though, would have been having a temperature/pressure balancing valve in the shower so we didn't freeze when the sprinklers were on - or worse, having Dad yell about us using the shower at the same time he wanted to do something involving water!

Can you do a jack and jill with a separate vanity and sink for each with a door to toilet shower that is shared?

I firmly believe kids should learn to share. Plus they should learn not to take 30 min showers.

Separate vanities will allow them to learn to clean up after themselves, and allow girls time to apply makeup without tying up bathroom.

My brother and I shared a bathroom with one-door hall entry, into my late teens, his early teens. It worked out fine.

Both my parents grew up in a house where they had one bathroom for
the entire house. My dad had 3 other siblings and my mom had 2 other
siblings. They all managed to survive and thrive.

I grew up in a house with two sisters and all three of us shared one
bathroom. We all managed fine. (And the master bathroom consisted of a
shower, toilet and one vanity and my parents survived.)

The house my son and daughter grew up in had one full bathroom for
all four of us. We just never got around to putting in the master
bathroom. (We did have two half baths downstairs though). Again we all
managed. I never recall arguments or fights over using the bathroom.
Fights over other things? Yep!

You make a good point: The "need" for more and more bathroom space is more of a "want".

I grew up with two bathrooms -- five of us kids, two girls, three boys sharing one hall bath. We had a shower schedule, but I don't remember it being a problem. Hair, make up, etc. was done in the bedrooms. I remember fights over the washer/dryer -- we had a schedule for that too -- and the car and mowing the yard, but never the bathroom.

An unintended (and positive) consequence of growing up without "lots": The first time I had "my own bathroom" was when my husband and I married and bought our first house, I felt like a master bathroom was such a luxury. It was also the first time I had a phone next to my bed. I really felt like I had "arrived". Today kids have so much, so much, so much ... are we robbing them of the opportunity to enjoy that feeling of "now I'm an adult and I have adult things"?

When I was about 7 my 16 year old brother, who was a bit of a
sleepwalker, got up to use the toilet, and exited the bathroom through
the wrong door. He crawled into my bed squishing me into the wall. I
tried to wake him with no success. I eventually left my bed and went and
slept in his. On another occasion, a brother just a year older than me
also needed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. He walked
through bathroom, into my room, opened up the toy chest with the white
lid, peed there, and returned to his room.

I had a sleepwalking brother too --- hmmm, is that a guy thing? I remember him once opening the refrigerator door and peeing in it! I don't think this is related to house design.

I have a 16 year old boy and a 13 year old girl with j&j bathroom, 4000 sf house, I think Mongo summed up my sentiments on this issue. I think its a valuable life lesson for them to learn how to work with someone else on sharing AND both having respect for the others privacy. They are not kings and queens of a castle!! What do you think their bathroom setup will be in college??

Mongo wrote:

They learned to time share, they learned to not be slobs out of consideration for the other, they learned to clean up after themselves. My son suddenly developed excellent marksmanship regarding the toilet after I had him scrub the tile and grout around the toilet several times one day with an old toothbrush. He had it clean after one go-around, but hey, why not reinforce what needs to be reinforced. He was five years old at the time. Never had another issue with urine on the floor or splattered on the rim of the toilet.

You make a mess. You clean it up. They learned it's easier to simply not make a mess.

Showers? It's not a vacation spot. It's not a spa. It's for cleaning yourself up. Get in, get out. Move on.

In our previous home we had one door to the kids' shared bathroom (from the hall). We had two sinks across from each other and then another door to the bath/shower/toilet area. It worked fairly well for us, and each had a sink mirror and cabinets storing their stuff. Also, each had to own their own sink/vanity messes. It was a good compromise between putting in 2 bathrooms or a traditional Jack-and-Jill.

I am so appreciative of the responses! I agree its a valuable life lesson for them to continue to learn how to share with one another and to learn to respect each others privacy. We went ahead and told our architect to draw it up with a Jack and Jill for the kids. Waiting to see the 1st draft. We feel this will be the best way to save some money and teach some good ole life lessons for the years to come. :)